My friends I want to thank all my friends for your support of me in the loss of my beloved husband John,  I felt the love and support.  Thank you grom the bottom of my heart  xxx

But I have a message to everyone. Please have a will, write down what you wish in a service.  Leave your passwords to your important accounts, the code to in-lock your phone so personal friends can be notified.  The passcode so your lived ones can reach out to your friends.  You never know when something will happen.

My husband took care of all the bills in his name.  I had to guess at what needed to be changed.  He had no will, no written aids to help.  His phone and computer had passcodes.  Nothing written telling me any of these.  Please think of those left behind because besides hurting in mourning  you they need your help.  John was a healthy 69 yr old taken suddenly while sitting talking with me, sudden death, comes yo many.  Yes, he always spoke of writing things down but we always thought we’d have time but there wasn’t any time, no warning.  So think of your loved ones and write things down.  It keeps your loved ones floundering in the dark.

Love
ladysharlyne

I'm so sorry for your loss, Sharlyne. This is great advice and good of you to share. I hope you continue to receive all the love and support you need. XOXO

FYI
For those with an iPhone, there is a Legacy Contact option under your Profile then Password & Security. It can be used to access your phone if that person has your death certificate.
(My daughter said how morbid when it sent her the notification I had set it.)

I am sorry for your loss.

Many of us are getting on in years and both the will and a power of attorney for medical and financial issues should also be done. One may be incapacitated and not die and have wishes to be carried out on their behalf like a do not resuscitate order.

Condolences on your loss, Lady S.

That is all excellent advice, as well.

I was my father's only child, and I was fortunate when my father died that I had already taken over paying his bills, been added to his bank accounts, and he'd already purchased a funeral package (which I'd already found). We had gotten a Power of Attourney and a medical POA for for me when his Alzheimer symptoms started to worsen. It was a tremendously confusing time when he passed, trying to determine what needed to be done, in what order, and at what speed, but at least I had all the tools available.

I would add that if you have pets, write out what arrangements you wish for them, and money to facillitate that, if possible. Let your friends and family know what you want for them. Pets they can't wait weeks for a laywer or court to act.

And if you're someone like me, living alone -- put a card in your wallet noting that you have pets. A friend got me a key fob that says "My Pets Are Home Alone," and "See Card In Wallet." It lets first responders know there's other lives that might be at risk if for any reason you can't go home.

These are ALL very important!  I even have gotten some good ideas.  We aren’t being morbid folks we are telling you to be wise.  No One is ever fully ‘ready’.
This message was last edited by the user at 23:44, Mon 24 Apr 2023.

My deepest condolences for your loss.  And, Thank You, for the PSA.  As many times as I have faced Death, I have not yet changed my will from when I was 19, before being deployed to the Persian Gulf.
This message was last edited by the user at 21:13, Mon 24 Apr 2023.

So sorry for your loss. Prayers and love in your time of need. <3

I'm sorry for your loss. I have OCD, and it comes with the downside of this being on my mind frequently...but the upside is using that worry to not worry but prepare.

I cannot agree more with OP. I will also add, if your health declines, or you're of certain age, give away "things" (Items) while you're alive. My Uncle told me that when I was 14. When he was nearing his death of the C word, he made good on his own advice, by giving things he knew people valued, to my mother, his sister. While this didn't work out nearly as well as I think he'd have wanted, he had the chance to experience the act of giving. It was gift to give and a gift he grew to that point to enjoy.

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Spoiler for a personal advise for passing on personal ideas and private matters: (Highlight or hover over the text to view)
I seriously recommend one clunky solution to all passwords and personal thoughts. A Hangman's switch. I'll be brief. It's a command prompt triggered by UNIX time. If you can afford--the TIME--to, learn and practice with hangman's switch on a PC. You can jailbreak other devices, but I advise against it. Even a $100 laptop (heck even a cheaper one, if you can find it) will serve well. In short, you can seed hangman's switches into other hangman's switches. This means you can check in, and delay point of origin that the UNIX time looks to. In the event your final seeding occurs, and this is when you trust you'll be deathly ill, in prison, lost memory, or passed on; it will open the final prompt. You can e-mail, or you can launch a program of something like a slideshow. If you learn this well enough, it also serves as a time capsule you can open (by accessing the hidden program through normal prompt) and see what was important to you X years ago, and how you've survived to see an update in order. Share this, while you're alive, if you can. It's very sentimental.

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I worry about my OWN memory too, not just the memory others have of me. If I develop dementia, this is still useful, whereas a will wouldn't quite suit that.

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Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Especially when it was so sudden. I've had a heart attack once. I lived (obviously) but I was alone, except for my roommate sleeping a floor above me. MY only thought was a wordless flurry of concern, for my friends. Losing someone is rarely easy. Having it happen suddenly or seeing someone wither are non-fungible experiences. Each ineffably painful. Each affecting a survivor unique to them and whom they lost.

This is true even if you do not see an "expiration date" looming.
Many things that people retain have value from their history. If the thing and the history get separated, they quickly lose value.
Gifting things is a good way to improve the chance that a thing and its history are passed to someone that may value them. Much better than leaving it to chance later.
This message was last edited by the user at 01:02, Fri 28 Apr 2023.

Thank all of your friendship and support.  xxx

What I truly wish to express is do these things when you are healthy.  My husband always planned’ to get to it but he didn’t have the ‘tomorrow’.  Get things in order sooner than later.  You never know what time  you have or have not to do this.  You never know when you will be diagnosed with a fatal illness or Sudden Death.  Do these tips above for you and your loved ones peace of mind please…. xxx

Condolences of your loss.

I hope this is not off topic, but how long were you (ladysharlyne) married to John? Actually, more to the heart of the matter, how long was it that you two shared as one time?

"Not long enough", I trust these are the sentiments all survivors of must feel, of someone who left a mark, especially a kiss, on our heart.

I know it's none of my business, I just feel the tug to ask, and ache to know.

It was odd because before his passing we never even realised how long we had been together.  It was 17 glorious years.  We never fought and argued   Of course we had disagreements.  Being married 3 times before to cheaters my John was a true soulmate.  But it doesn’t matter how long a couple are together in love it always hurts.  For my love I will ‘Carry On’ and live life he and I would have done together.  I do it for him and myself.  Like a shooting Star flying across the room he was gone to soon. My heart goes out to any who have lost a close loved one whether suddenly like my John or from a lingering illness.  It is never easy for anyone in love.  xx
This message was last edited by the user at 01:53, Fri 28 Apr 2023.

Thank you for sharing. You're right. It doesn't matter how long. My best friend and I, we "thick and thieves" have been best of friends since 2007 and met in 2001.