This thread is like Conan O'Brien's old "In the year 2000..." sketch.  You predict something that will happen that year, whether funny, stupid, or real.

For example:

In the year 2012...

...the CIA will discover that Saddam Hussein was innocent, and was actually the victim of identity theft, as someone had stolen his name and social security number and was secretly running Iraq posing as him.
This message was last updated by the GM at 00:24, Tue 18 Aug 2020.

...Fiddles will finally own a set of clothing.

Fiddles still won't wear said clothing...

... Heath will become President of the world.

...Vixcis will get Heath impeached in a horrible scandal envolving a blue leather dress.

...Snotburger will return.

... Grant will wear kneehigh boots and go dancing in Vegas... And the world will weep.

... Santos will again hibernate for 2-3 years.

But snotburger will get tossed off of the Brooklyn bridge and into the water below...

There will be chicken flavored donuts

studies will show that electric cars will cause cancer.

The Mayans will return from space.

The Lost Mayan Calander for the year 2013 will be found in a temple under an oversized paperweight made of rock.

It finally becomes illegal for people with no common sense to procreate.


Also, I finally win the lottery.

Gas prices his $7

Every timewaster will return for the full year to accumulate more posts than anyone ever thought possible.

...and through the magic of genetically modified food, donut shaped chickens.

We will realize that Stan Lee is actually a prophet and that the Marvel Universe is the future.

We will know that Chuck the Prophet, who writes the stories of the Winchester brothers, is really God.

The Avengers and Dark Knight Rising will have the greatest superhero movie duel ever seen.

Triple H will get a shot to play Conan the Barbarian.

I will be one year older.

World War III will begin with the recreation of the Soviet Union.

A surgeon generals warning will be put on cell phones.

Cellphones will begin to be implanted in our heads.

They will have gps in you jeans, yep jeans. Look it up walmart has already did it.

They'll be tracking how often you go to the bathroom then... very sad.

Sad buy true. Also in the year 2012 someone will be born !!!

And someone will die.

Someone will fart in an elevator full of people and not say excuse me.

Shouldn't we be mentioning spectacular things?

I mean in 2012 the world will be remade and there will be no survivors as mankind loses all hope.  Billions of people will perish in fire and water as the wrath of the gods comes once more.  Then the next race of sentient beings enters the world young and fresh but doomed to follow the same fate as ours.

hmm, ok
In the year 2012 , the politians will all scream from there fallout shelters "Suckers !!!"

... jioan will start a religion based on the koala.

I think Fourlegged as a god would be very scary indeed.

I forgot that was his image!  lol

Heath will create his own nation, with the flag being an upside down rainbow.

You forgot?  I've been away too long this time.

In 2012, the Mayans will roll out a new calendar.

I still think Koalaism would be cool.

In the year 2012... there will be a city under the water.

Atlantis will unsink and a new golden age shall begin!

praguepride WILL RETURN TO ASWOT!

...rioting Koalaists will overthrow half of the world's governments and replace them with the governments from the other half of the world.

...we should have updated the thread title?

Aliens will come to earth and share technology for inter universal travel

Cell phones will be microchips implanted in the human brain at birth.

Animals will be able to speak

Big Brother will be watching... and we'll KNOW it.

I will get taller

"Full-Dive" video games will exist... and will not trap anyone (intentionally or unintentionally) in their worlds.

They will be able to fix blindness!

They will finally come out with hoverboards, beating the timeline of Back to the Future by one year.

...someone will explain why we aren't living with the past as the future.

All people considered as a blight on humanity will be driven out of cities, parks, and well pretty much anywhere, that or killed...

The universe will become unstable.

In reply to Just a girl passing through (msg # 51):

Eugenics is alive and well.  Witness the near extinction of humans identified with Down Syndrome.

I will be given a million dollars

The Affordable Care Act will do exactly the opposite.

The US government will be dissolved, and China will take them over by merely calling in their debts

I will be employed and maybe even happy with my job

The currencies of the world will be unified into a single digital buck

The value of currencies of the world will devalue down to a single digital buck.

^What he said^

Japan will be so irradiated the entire island country will be evacuated, and flagged unsafe for life forms of any kind, the once great city of Tokyo no more than a deteriorating ghost town

...secrets will be revealed while more secrets are created.

Buildings will just start falling over from unrepaired decay

...the aliens will arrive and whisk select people away to another planet where they will be fed well and then served.

People will start to find genetic alterations within their DNA that allows them abilities that would personally be considered 'super powers'

Old diseases will become resistant to most  new antibiotics.

A real mutant uprising will occur from all the genetic alteration experiments currently happening

...someone will get married.

A child with a larger pineal gland and a telepathic ability will be born

...ASWOT will continue

In reply to Yoss (msg # 69):

That's just terrifying.

The ASWoT Archive will be equivicable to rpers as the bible is to christians

Wizard (formerly -of the Coast) will attempt to make a ASWoT tabletop game.

Aliens will destroy the planet, and the only way to save the world is to find the yellow polka-dotted H.P Lovecraftean prison, inside the prison is a towel with a number sewn in: '42'

Massive drones of alien, fantasy, and many other races will come to earth living as peacefully as the humans will let them among us (that is to say not at all, as we will try to eradicate them of course)

I will actually get a new pipe to replace Liyt, whom broke by the hand of my brother, that idiot, but I love him anyway

I'll finish my rpol game with good results...

I will stop being lazy about RPOl

...Obamacare will finally meet the fate it should have had when first voted in.

...The Hobbit movies will come to an end.

...we might decide whether this thread is to be released from testing, or closed.

We might actually reach two hundred posters a week

I will take exams

I will win the magic the gathering world championship...

there will be paperwork

Cars will run on something other than gasoline because the world is out of petroleum.

There will be hope

False Hope will receive a more specific definition of which people will use to make it look like there really is hope when there is not...

There will be unemployment

All countries except america will find a means to feed and house all their citizens in a harmonious means.

people will eat too much

My son will turn 1

I will still hate Christmas

I will move out of state

I might get high enough grades to go to university

People will misunderstand the "In the year 2012" game and post actual events...

I will listen to the rules

2040 the zombie apocalypse will--- not happen
Big surprise, right?

I might believe people who give me compliments

Cyborgs will go terminator

I will hold on to hope

Blindness will be cured

I hope not...

we will be more torrent and excepting of differences

The state will be legitimately be separated from the church

i might sleep

I might not

I will ask questions

not what?

(also this needs to be changed to the year 2015....)

Sleep
In the year 2015 a soul will be inserted into a robot

I should have a guide dog

Athena (blind sister-in-law who also is a part of this RP but hasn't posted in a while) might also have a guide dog, maybe, possibly? Pro'lly not

I will have bad hair days, still

I will mail sweets a hairbrush and conditioner

I will send a thank you card

I will send you chocolates

I will send you cake

I will invite you to christmas

I will give you hugs

I will squeeze you to the point of no breath

I will cry

I WILL WIPE YOUR TEARS AND APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY!

I will smile

I WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH!!! YAY!

We will laugh

The sequel to Man of Steel will be released... oh wait

Social workers will still be evil

The penny will finally stop being used

Certain people, who had been previously preoccupied collecting quarters and such, began to collect the pennies, which were going instinct.

Collectors will find new things to collect, most of which will be highly dangerous, and some even radioactive.

People will join in collective stupidity to try to use that radioactivity for superpowers...and, ultimately, fail.

The US will enter subsidized time.

Polymer banknotes will be introduced by the Bank of England

People will reminisce about trying to predict the events of the year 2000.

Gotta move up the time line here :)

People will laugh at the time people in 2018 tried to predict events in 2019.

i will be 16 before my birthday in that year...

We will still be here wasting time...

I will have consumed more media

We will have (mostly) moved on from A Serious Waste of Time

They will have moved on from moving on.

It will be 'soo last year' to be amused by how easy and fun it is to say twunny twunny

We will view the previous year with 2020 hindsight

I will become an adult ::anxiety noises::

While he would technically have been dead for the last three to eight years, (typical lifespan of a wild koala is 10-15 years,) the koala you all know as FourLegged would be old enough to vote in the Unites States.

Does this mean that FourLegged and monstrously grotesque beast whose hands have fused to the keyboard and identifies as Froggychum are the same age?

The keyboard beast behind FourLegged has to rest and drink.

(OOC: Thank you Doulos, for the imagery that is the keyboard beast)

I'm much older than you. My species doesn't reach adulthood for approx. 14 billion years. We might share a birthday, though? I wasn't keeping track of the 'day' before either the sun or the gregorian calendar was invented :shrug:

Maybe that's why you and Germ Ant get along so well.  Don't believe that Germ Ant is part of any species, but his existence predates this Universe by several cycles.

Ha! What a (big) boomer!

People will see again what blue sky looks like after being quarantined for almost all of 2020

People will have developed agoraphobia from the months/years of isolation, mark my words hombres

Someone will have built a Plague Ark to float away from the germs.

Mark Twain wrote about the Ark.  It was in Letters From Earth except it used Noah to save the diseases from the flood.

Did he take one or two of every disease?

Kanye West will give his first inaugural address.  :)

Still waiting on this one. (See post #4 from 2011.)
This message was last edited by the GM at 00:27, Tue 18 Aug 2020.

Gotta unite the world first, Heath.

Unite or be the last one standing... ;)

Hang together or hang separately?

Something like that.

...TikTok will reveal that it was created by Mr. Tim E. Clock.

It will be revealed that TikTok was named after the insects that irritated the watchdog from The Phantom Tollbooth

---

Spoiler text: (Highlight or hover over the text to view)
AKA Tock's Ticks

---

TikTok will be banned in the USA...

oh wait

In increasing escalation, the US will go up from 9 supreme court justices to 51, one for every state and for D.C.--no reason--just because of one upmanship.

Elon Musk will become 46th President of the USA and suggest the following bills, and then pass them into law:

 - Catgirl Funding Act (spends half the national annual income on scientific research into the creation of a genetically modified race of artificial anthropomorphic sentients called 'Catgirls', as depicted in haha funny anime)

 - Bill 69420 (He will alter the number of seats on the House, Senate, and Supreme Court, all to a value of 69, because 'haha funny number')

 - First Declaration of Epic Gamers (Elon Musk will remove all members of government from office, and force them to royally  battle to the death on a real-life fortnite island... the winners get a free Tesla and their seat back)

 - Second Declaration of Epic Gamers (The remaining seats will be filled with the top scoring E-sports tournaments players, regardless of their opinion, legibility or qualifications.)

 - The 28th Ammendment (Elon will ensure national internet access as a human right to all citizens, but only to access sites he deems 'not cringe', which includes his twitter profile and affiliated subreddits)

 - Treaty of Sol (Elon will build an UN meeting hall on the surface of the sun, and then fly UN member to the sun in his new spacefaring teslas that are powered exclusively on greed and ego [generosity and humility cause disastrous chemical reactions, but that won't be a problem for any of the attendees Ahaha haha! Aha... ha...]

Once everyone who has gathered has been turned to ash by the immeasurable heat of cosmic flames, Elon will renew the Paris Agreement because 12 years old told him it would be wholesome and make him cool)

 - Day of Unspeakable Deeds Proclamation (Elon will pass a law making his birthday [June 28] a national holiday, where all citizens gather in New Jersey and *@#!(@*! each other, before *@#!)(@*)!(*ing everyone... after that they !!)(@!*) themselves, finally finishing the day by @#*)!(@ing a big load of #!@!)&&)
This message was last edited by the player at 13:44, Thu 15 Oct 2020.

Darth Vader will come back to life and will kill John Wick

COVID 21, 22, and 23 will all be discovered on the same day, despite the years not matching up.

ASWoT will make a comeback with over 100 posts per day consistently.

For 100 days and 100 minutes, then it will accidentally be deleted by the server owners after spilling their premium coffee, which they bought a hundred of for 100 euros each, for their grandfather's 100th birthday.

And then it will be discovered that it was not so much an accident but was a long con from the days when ASWoT was controversial.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u76Lxn9jrNo

Edit: I've been listening to this song semi-regularly for maybe a third of my life by now and I just realized today that it was a parody song. I'm shook.
This message was last edited by the player at 09:52, Fri 10 Sept 2021.

Trump and Biden will duke it out in the boxing ring.

Yeah, but they will preemptively call it a draw, take off their gloves, hold one another's hands, and claim America should be united in these 'trying times' as they look deep in the eyes of the other man.

Then they will sing the national anthem while covered in lubricating oil and their own blood.

Mostly their own

70% their own

the remaining 30% still has not been identified by scientists as belonging to any species on Earth

They will discover that the Mayan calendar that said the world would be destroyed in 2012 was actually a decade off

And then nothing will happen, because the Mayans were an inferior tribal people whose 'predictions' were never anything but 'folk tales'

Or maybe they were just really good at trolling, and wanted to freak out people who dig up their ruins hundreds of years later.

Froggychum will be hunted down by the ghosts of the Mayans who are offended by his post.

Joke's on you tho, because what you can't see [ghosts] cannot hurt ya >B)

Don't know why that is still a phrase, what with our understanding of modern medicine...? Feels a lot less funny to say those words given the advent of a global pandemic!

...blind people realize this phrase just isn't for them.

Blind people are invincibility hackers? Let's ban them from playing Outside!

Breaking News: reddit.com/r/outside is advocating genocide???

John Cena can hurt you.

He is called John Xina now, ever since he became a mouthpiece for the CCP

Aha. Fear not. The Communists cannot hurt us. Carry on.

‘Murica.

Speaking of communists....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4quwGch9jLg

Content Warning: Cartoon Violence, Foul Language, Loud Noises
This message was last edited by the player at 04:23, Fri 12 Nov 2021.

Joe Biden will take off his mask and show he is really Trump underneath.

As a reaction to the inanity of a certain family, officials who handle birth certificates will ban baby names beginning with the letter K.

...and X Æ A-Xii as a name

In reply to RabbitBall (msg # 181):

...and Karens across the nation will demand to speak to the manager

In reply to FourLegged (msg # 183):

LOL. I didn't think of that one.

Every Greek fraternity will catch a COVID variant, since they all use the Greek alphabet.

God will reveal COVID stands for "Cruel Omnimalevolent Virus I Designed" before explaining that He only created humanity so that He could torture us relentlessly, and that every human that has ever lived has been burning alive in Hell since the moments of their deaths.

And the moon will laugh

We will all have aged by about two weeks

In reply to Froggychum (msg # 189):

Each?  That's nearly 300 million years, and that's just counting the humans

Experienced time is not equal to actual time.

basically (one of) the reason I love regression stories

Clowns will use murder hornet to vaccinate the world.

People will be reasonably concerned that clowns are being more helpful than the world government

Globalist Comedocracy when???

We will have the first country song where the cowboys self-driving truck leaves him.

We won't be able to use the letter "X" anymore, as it will be patented. I'm uXing it as much as poXXible while I can.

...the French will host the Olympic Games

...the year will be a number divisible by 4.