Idea Stolen from Community Chat's Malakhon:

The idea here is you say something that cannot or should not be done in an RPG game, or some rule or crazy policy in an RPG game.  These can be real or made up, but should be funny.

After posting the thing in the list, you can make comments if you desire, or explain a funny thing that really happened.

As you can see from this starter list, the actual things can vary a lot:

1. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.
2. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not 'Southern' Montaigne.
3. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.
4. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
5. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.
6. My monk's lips must be in sync.
7. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.
8. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer.
9. Ogres are not kosher.
10. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.
11. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory.
12. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.
14. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales.
15. The green elf does not need food badly.
16. Say "My Power Level is Over 9000"
17. Say "I am a Snorlax, and I am blocking the path, too bad, so sad"
18. Once I get my Knight or Wizard rolled up in your game, go into the tavern and invite people to recursively roleplay by having OUR characters roll up   characters of their own, as they imagine going on exciting adventures of their own by candle light.
19. If I DO actually recursively roleplay despite no longer being allowed too, I will limit it to just one iteration, so that the characters of my character will not begin roleplaying.
20. Say "You should play Gurps, Dude!"

Here is the thread where this was taken from:
link to a message in another game

You can steal funny quips from that thread if you can't think of one yourself.
This message was last edited by the GM at 22:40, Fri 10 June 2011.

21: I will never again underestimate the power of a Rimefire Griffin by insulting it in Dwarven at every opportunity I get, even if said Griffin is owned by an Elf.

22: I will also not do the above to a Wyvern.

23: I'm no longer allowed to build a DemiGod Scion of Odin whose main goal in life is to manipulate every major terrorist group, divine or mortal, to go to war with each other, thus causing World War 3, bringing about the Ragnarok of the mortal World, and thus betraying the other members of my band.

24: I'm also not allowed to build the above as a pervert in any game with my cousins. Contrary to popular belief, 14 years old is much too young to be exposed to such things.

25: I will not Destroy all of a GM's plots before they even come into fruition.

26: I may not use 'The Simpsons did it!' as a legitimate excuse to de-rail any and all story plots the GM creates.

27: I may not compare everything in any RPG to any episode of The Simpsons.

28: I may not reference The Simpsons in any way/shape/form in any context in any game from now on.

All of these are posts of mine in the forum ^_^

29: players may not cut off the arms of conquered enemies to pull the tendons on said arms to make the hands give rude gestures to the enemy who was just conquered (and dismembered).

30. I am not proud to be a Benraku from Renraku.

31. use an absent player's character to test chests for traps by opening them while you stand around behind a corner

32. Shooting the GMs NPC in mid-speech of something plot driven.

33. Inviting "Dudes" to my gurps game.
This message was last edited by the player at 23:27, Mon 13 June 2011.

34. Kill another PC in his sleep due to an out of game dispute.

35. State your character has super powers just cause you drink mountain dew.

"36. I am not allowed to make a character that talks so much that other characters voluntarily deafen themselves
37. I am not allowed to play an elven porn star with decades of experience.
38. I am not allowed to summon a celestial elephant above my opponent's head, and then calculate the damage he would take from said elephant falling on his head
39. Neither am I allowed to do the same with a kraken
40. I am not allowed to complete a quest without ever leaving the bar
41. I am not allowed to cast Implosion on the wizard's weasel familiar to make it go "pop""