Top Ten Spells
Here's a few spells that never made it into DnD for some reason or another, complete with descriptive text. Hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as I did. ;)
Berman's Death to the Caster
Many a mage has used this spell to escape an unavoidable confrontation. In many cases, however, the mage in question has miscast the teleport spell (which is very similar) and instead completes this spell. In other cases, they think to confuse their enemies. They will always be looking behind their back because the know that no self-respecting wizard would ever kill himself. This spell requires one material component, the caster's life.
Power Word, Fart
This is a confusing tactic that has been used a few times, though it usually backfires, literally. With a single word, the target is forced to expell all of the gas currently in his body through the exit. This has the same effect of a Stinking Cloud, and usually comes back to the caster. Said target is immune to any hazardess effects of the Stinking Cloud effect. If the target is an ogre, the effect is Cloudkill instead.
Gelatinous Shell
This is a very little known spell that amuses some party guests, but is otherwise useless. The caster is encased by a gelatinous cube. While it may be fun for audiences to try to watch the caster get out, it is deadly in combat. Spells of the evocation (fire) description double their damage to anyone within the cube due to boiling gelatin. If an Animate Object spell is cast on the cube, it will transform into an ooze of the caster's choosing
Safe Fall
This is a variant of the more popular spell, Feather Fall. A mage was one day thinking of ways to alter his spells, and came up with this idea. Why not make a person, instead of as light as a feather, as heavy as a twelve ton bank vault? With a few minor adjustments, he had it perfected and gave it to all that came through his house. The young mages thought it would be better than Feather Fall, and took the chance and prepared it. Ever wonder why there aren't that many mages, anymore?
Polymorph Udder
Spells are modified through all means. Some become more generalized, while others become more specific. Polymorph Udder allows the caster to polymorph a cow's udder into any object he desires. While this may seem very powerful, the cow still stays as itself. If the cow and the former udder would ever become detached, the spell will immediately revert everything back to its former form.
Stinking Klaus
This spell is a conjuration spell. It conjures, into the midst of of the caster's enemies, a fat German business man. This businessman has a few of the below special abilities and will chase after all opponents, until the spell ends.
Power Word, Fart (self only)
Summon Oktoberfest Sausage
Power Word, Belch (self only)
Magnetskin
Magnetskin was a spell originally created to help a mage keep track of all his paperclips. It also resulted in the death of said mage when his dagger flew from his desk to his skull. This spell makes metal attracted to the caster's body, though it is a weak attraction that can easily be broken by another creature. As a result, it gives all metalic weapons that come toward the caster a +10 to its attack bonus.
Meatier Swarm
Originally created by a master mage who was hungry, he created a variant of the more widely known Metior Swarm. Instead of balls of rock and fire that fell on the area of effect, cooked ground chuck falls. Very effective when one is hungry, but it was forgotten when said mage mistakenly took it for its counterpart when cornered by a clan of angry wolves.
Polymorph any Omelet
Like Polymorph Udder, this allows the caster to polymorph any omelet into any other type of omelet. If one is not in the mood for bacon, simply switch it for sausage. Created by a very picky mage.
Fireballs
This is one of the most effective spells in all of the known or forgotten spells. It is only third level, like its counterpart fireball, but it is much more powerful in the world of adventuring. A small group of sorceresses created this when taunted by their male counterparts. It immediately sets the target's testicles on fire, reflex save for one, and quickly ended the taunting. Sadly, the sorceresses never wrote the spell, and it is lost to us forever.
