Lucy giggles musically to Markus' comment about brain jar fluid making dwarves smarter, but cannot deny dwarves might try it on a dare or even a whim.

Lucy looks to Jack and sings as she strums her lyre, "I know you're a bard, singing of brain in a jar, but try not to wrack your brain too haaaard..."

Upon hearing the monk's greetings, Lucy is thinking "That didn't sound creepy at ALL..." but keeps her mouth shut.

Zerry says, "I'm a climber. If the brains ever wanted to know the charm of climbing things, they have the right cent-erm... hello! Thank you for the warm welcome. And certainly! We would like to meet the Grand Master. So many questions haunt our minds even as we came here to help in more ways than you're probably used to."
This message was last edited by the player at 00:09, Mon 27 Jan 2020.

  With monks acting like this, it is just another reminder why 'Giant Sphinx that might eat part of your soul' felt like one of the more reasonable people they have met in their travels.

  "I know this place is regarded as full of answers, but you do know Giants tried to kill your latest group of visitors, right?" After all, it's not just an adventure party here for the guided tour.

Upon hearing the 1-2 pun combo from Markus and Lucy, Jack's head snaps back from the force and he falls backward in slow motion as a reverberating voice announces, "K.O.!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djlM0dEuXOk

Jack picks himself up off the ground and smiles.  "That was amazing, you two!"

Seeing the merrenoloth ferry, Jack's mouth drops open.  Hearing the hooded monk's sinister words, his eyes bug out.

To the innocent bystanders he comments, "I'm getting the distinct impression that his place is a ^teeeeny bit less healthy than advertised.  ^Miiight want to consider looking into alternative avenues for dealing with your troubles.  Just sayin'."

Lean Meimbaol nods in response to Tark's statement and says, "I'm aware that Stone Giants have been trying to attack the monastery, but fortunately they can't reach the monastery with their thrown boulders and even if they could, we do have defenses that would stop such attacks. As a group of sky pirates claiming to be working for some Fire Giants found out the hard way. But the Grand Master used those defenses to drive those sky pirates off without them ever setting foot on monastery grounds. They didn't even get close enough for the Sphinx to get involved. But if you wish to know more about that, you'd have to speak with the Grand Master about it."

Lean glances up at the party's airship and notices the constructs that are guarding it before glancing back to the party and adding, "This way to the Grand Master."

As Lean leads the party to the Grand Master the party learns that the monastery is laid out as a large campus composed of sharp-angled buildings that jut out of the ground like massive metallic crystals. Between the buildings are scraggly gardens and paths. Five monks led by an elder, like Lean, are silently going about the business of gardening, observing prayers, scrubbing flagstones, and other mundane activities.

However, Lucy and Varis notice that there is graffiti scratched into the walls of the buildings, which Varis telepathically points out are written in thieves' cant. Other messages are written in a strange language. When pointed out to Markus, he telepathically replies that the messages are written in Infernal and reveals sentiments on how the doubtful are punished and that only service to the monastery keeps it aloft.

Lucy also notices that the original metal of the structures has been melted and reworked in many places into a preponderance of leering skulls. Additionally, Lucy notices unnatural creatures lurking in the shadowy corners of the grounds. When Lucy manages to get a good look at one, it appears to be a magically animated leather face that quickly flutters away.

Lucy and Varis both notice that strange wiring runs throughout the grounds and seeming all connect the buildings together with their origins coming from a single building. (Marked M8 on the Roll20 map)

Varis telepathically says, “I am starting to think that the Sphinx didn't lie at all about the demonic presence here.”

Markus responds with, “As troublesome as that is, I'm more worried that our guide said that the Fire Giants have hired someone with an airship to attack this place. Although I would love to learn more about how the Grand Master managed to drive them off at a distance. Is that defense something that can be used against us?”

Lucy's reaction to the sights get increasingly horrified. Much like Kermit's in this roll call: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyKwJRzfz60 (please at least watch all the way to 1:20)

When Markus makes his comment, Lucy gives him the biggest WTF expression she's ever given him. Remaining telepathic, of course, she answers, "More worried?! What have you been smoking? Even if demonic spirits and flying leather faces fluttering in the shadows were somehow less scary than pirates hired by giants* (which, I remind you pirates are *terrified* of spirits), we are here now and in the belly of it."

*strange the kind of comparisons adventurers give.

Lucy then sighs and calms herself before continuing. "Sorry, Markus. Guess it just hit me from left field right when I was feeling quite scared of our surroundings. As we were just informed, this place easily dealt with the pirates. Yes, it *is* concerning that giants are hiring pirates, but it wouldn't be the first time we found out giants were willing to outsource to smaller folk. We really should be concerned about the here and now."

*Which also reminds me of yet another quote from a D&D RP I was in recently: "People should be befriended rather than digested."

Zerry has an excited grin on her face the more she takes in the surroundings and squeaks from Lucy's telepathic outburst. "We are together and that's what matters. Together, we will overcome whatever is thrown at us."

Apparently there were some perception checks that everyone but Lucy failed.

Jack telepaths, "Um...  I missed the fluttering faces.  But uh...  I'm beginning to believe that the most horrible thing around is the Grand Master and his apparent death cult.  Hmm.  I guess it's too late to turn back.  So considering just how over-the-top evil this place is turning out to be, it's probably best that we pretend to be closer to Neutral in our worldview.  We should let them believe that our motivation is solely profit."

Out loud, he asks, "What's with the skulls and graffiti?"

Lean Meimbaol continues to lead the group to the Central Abbey as he answers Jack's question with an explanation that while not rehearsed is obviously one he's given before, "The skulls are symbolic symbols of the struggle to endure in spite of physical or mental distress that the world inflicts upon the individual...they have been around for decades, while the graffiti is kept around as a reminder that threats will always exist, so we must be ever vigilant in our duties to insure threats to our way of life are eliminated."

Markus telepaths in response to Lucy's 'mental statement', 'Since whatever otherworldly threat resides in this monastery has not left the monastery in all these years it is obvious that it lacks the power to project its desires beyond this monastery, thus it isn't as grave of a threat as airships being hired by the Fire Giants to scour for pieces of Vonindod as we have done... plus this means that our own airship can be vulnerable to attack from such hostile airships. In a related matter, Lean has indicated that the monastery has the means to fend off an airship attack... and what prevents that from being used against us? And can the infernal creature that dwells where utilize that power against us? We don't know yet...but whatever we face on this monastery we'll be able to handle it if we stick together and remain calm.'

Varis remains alert to what transpires around the group as they are led to the Central Abbey but remains quiet at this time.

  Right, Tark liked it better when his lowest bar was a money grubbing scam cult rather than 'we will make a wallet out of your face, and then use the rest as a bat' cult.

  'You know, I know we've become complacent with privacy and all.  But if we are surrounded by brains powered artifacts what are the odds they can listen in on telepathic chats?'
This message was lightly edited by the player at 06:14, Thu 06 Feb 2020.

Markus pretty much says what Zerry just said, but expounded on why he considered air pirates more dangerous than demon-ridden place controlled by evil brains in jars. Lucy nods to Markus. "Together." she telepaths to affirm Zerry and Markus' statements. "A hug and a warm meal with yummy deserts to celebrate when this is over."

She looks at Tark and telepaths, "That's a good point; if they can read our telepathic conversations, that means they can read our thoughts. Which means we may as well continue telepathing freely because they would have known our intent anyway. Tark also has a point in that we should be prepared for the enemy knowing any plans we try to come up with whether we think we are heard or not. We'll continue with telepathy since most people here probably can't read our thoughts."
This message was last edited by the player at 06:26, Thu 06 Feb 2020.

Zerry answers Lean out loud, "You should wash the graffiti. You don't need it as a reminder and it only serves to encourage and embolden those who vandalize. It's the same reason broken windows are repaired immediately; broken windows attract vandalism and soon you have another broken window, a marred wall and so on."

Her tone sounds similar to a child telling an adult they should wash their hands after using the bathroom if the adult fails to do so. But even as she does, she stretches a leg. Then another leg. Whether she knows Lean is giving a BS excuse or not, she stands by her answer. But to further test Lean's BS, Zerry asks, "What's with the flying leather faces?"

To the telepath conversation, she comments, "We'll need to upgrade our airship to make it nigh impossible to sink so that when we're attacked by enemy ships, we can focus on sinking them and not worry about losing the ship. And maybe get proactive and hunt down any known pirate ships."

Varis remains quiet as Lean Meimbaol quickly responds to Zerry's comment, "That would be up to the Grand Master of the monastery, but I will admit there are several of us monks that would like to clean away the graffiti but the Grand Master says that to do so would be to try to erase the mistakes of the past, which must not be forgotten lest they are repeated."

Lean pauses for a moment, when asked about the leather faces, before he answers, "They are all that remains of previous monks who have lived their lives in service to this monastery so that they can continue to aid and watch over the grounds even when their mortal bodies have turned to ash and dust," Lean seems solemn about the faces as if he isn't sure if they should be revered or pitied.

Varis then telepathically mentions, 'I think 'go ask the Grand Master of the Abbey' is Lean's way of either saying he won't or can't answer a question.'

Markus telepathically adds to the telepathic conversation, 'Well if it is any consolation, nothing can eavesdrop on my thoughts or my mind without my permission. Given how Lean paused before answering Zerry's question I think he isn't happy we brought up the faces.' Markus

To Lucy's suggestion, Jack replies with a telepathic yum emoji.  =9  "So glad to hear your telepathy is immune to eavesdropping, Marcus."

The flying faces?  You weren't supposed to see those.  How embarrassing.

"I was already thinking that our adventures were too over-the-top for anyone to believe when we recovered that elemental that could have sparked a calamity if unleashed.  But at least it all made for something you could merrily sing at a family pub without getting dirty looks from the mothers in the audience.  I'll need to replace the flappa-flapping faces with something else if I'm ever to make a song about this one.  Bats?  Or is that too disrespectful of the dearly departed?"

Because, you know, turning your dead friends into flying faces is so much more respectful.

"Books!  They'll be flying books.  That's respectfully kid friendly."

Telepathically, Jack assures, "Not really going to alter the truth with my lyrics.  Will just give content warnings for those songs some audiences might find disturbing.  Just don't want these loonies to think their evil will become legendary."

"I'm happy to hear that your culture acknowledges mistakes made in the past in order to avoid repeating them.  I'm curious.  What specific mistake was it that resulted in the graffiti?"

Telepathically, Jack assures, "I agree with you, Zerry.  But I'm certain that helpful suggestions on basic civics will not be accepted.  Case in point, his immediately dismissing your helpful suggestion, offering a weak argument as the reason."
This message was last edited by the player at 03:07, Sun 09 Feb 2020.

Lean Meimbaol answer's Jack's latest question, "It is said that the great wizard Kwalish opened a portal to the Nine Hells in this Monastery and was punished for opening a doorway to that realm. The graffiti now serves as a reminder to not try to breach the dimensional barrier without first knowing where the other side of the door would be and if anything from that side could cross over into our plane of existence."

  Tark is very glad his baseless paranoia was indeed baseless paranoia, and not 'Oddly specific fears came true' horrible murder carpet style.

  Preston isn't in this campaign, but would like to place a copyright claim against flying faces using the term 'flappa-flappa'.  Nevermind that the absent flying snake doesn't actually own the term, jerk faces made of jerky dried faces don't deserve it.

  "That is the most responsible thing I've ever heard regarding other planes of existence. Which is kind of sad given the context."

Zerry telepaths back, "Well it was worth a try bringing up the faces. If these people are trying to do subtle, they're doing it wrong. I am quite aware I can be rather dense and even I'm seeing their attempts as wanting. Though wouldn't it be just downright hilarious if they were actually telling the truth?"

Lucy paths, "There is probably some truth mixed in with their lies. I don't think it would be funny if it's all true, I think it would be sad. But not as sad as what I expect to actually be the case."

Zerry then says aloud, "I apologize. I do not mean to bring up soar topics. We're just very foreign to this place is all. But given how often and well you speak of the grandmaster, how soon can we see him?"

Lucy is silent. Though to Tark, she thinks a moment and then slowly nods in agreement as if it hadn't occurred to her before he said anything. Then again, her mind was primarily on how wrong everything is around here.
This message was last edited by the player at 23:04, Tue 11 Feb 2020.

Jack is visibly confused. "O...K...  Yes.  I would think it kindof obvious that one should not do magic in such an irresponsible way.  But I've never before seen a community react in such a way.  Public service messages like, 'Don't be cuckoo like Kwalish.  Think before you cast,' would be what I would expect to see.  The messages I see instead seem rather unconnected.  Unless...  It was the Troll District of 7th Hell that he opened a portal to and the devils that poured through scrawled the first random inflammatory messages that came to mind.  Heh.  No pun intended."

Lean Meimbaol points to a building just ahead of them as he says, "This is the Central Abbey. The Grand Master is inside."

The building Lean points to has a massive pair of cathedral doors open onto a long nave. Rows of balconies line the walls, occupied by a couple of dozen hooded monks seemingly come to watch the audience about to take place.

At the far end of the nave, a throne resembling a twisted metal captain's chair rises from a metallic dais backed by an ornate arch. There sits the Grande Master of the Distressed Body, a bone devil flanked by two massive bodyguards. The Grandmaster wears a patchwork leather robe and a gleaming crown, and it carries a scepter set with odd crystal bumps and metal flanges. With its other hand, the devil taps the arm of the throne, showing off nails set with gleaming metallic shards.

"Welcome," the Grand Master says. "We get few supplicants here of your obvious experience and skill. You shall do well in service here at the monastery. But will that service be with the strength of your bodies or the strength of your minds?"

Markus telepaths the group, 'Well, now we know what became of the devil that the Sphinx spoke of. I still think the odds of the Grand Master being a reformed devil are low... but at least the devil seems chatty... so what now?'

Varis remains silent as he telepathically adds what he notices to the conversation before the group approaches the dais with the Grand Master and its two bodyguards, 'The leather cloak... it's crafted from flayed faces of people...and the scepter and crown appear almost mechanical in nature...'

Lucy also notices what Varis has commented upon plus she realizes that large rings on the devil's arms and tail, which are worn like bracelets, seem to be crafted of the same materials as the crown and scepter.

  Everyone knows the best graffiti is 'Bane Rulz' anyways, yes even in settings where they aren't even a deity.

  "Well, on my end I mostly wanted a chance to meet whoever seemed like such a big deal to travelers wishing to join you, rampaging giants, and huge sphinxes." Which is even a true comment!

  This guy clearly has way more to be impressed with himself over than 'undead lords love their undead horses enough to mail order new saddles'.

Zerry gives the devil a curtsy!*

*Legs like this: https://farm4.static.flickr.co...87083_a389cf5222.jpg
Torso like this: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/04/c...fox-photo-shoots.jpg

Zerry says, "Greetings! And thanks for the warm welcome! I imagine we will bring both body and mind, Mister Grandmaster sir. I'm Zerry, Paladin of Lliira, the goddess of Joy! These are my friends; Jack, Lucy, Markus, Tark, and Varis. Like others before us, we have come to learn of the monastary and its teachings, as well as to aid the monastary. Though perhaps not the same way others have before us. Your defenses have proven effective against the advances of the giants, but we plan to make them lose interest in this place entirely if possible."

Zerry isn't saying HOW just yet, but at least everything she says is the truth. She just doesn't like deception and only uses it when absolutely necessary.

Also she is holding back her desire to ask about climbing things (and people) for now. Best to learn about what she's climbing before climbing it, after all.

---

Part of a conversation I had with Will:

Me: Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out how Zerry will approach talking to this devil.

Will:
"CAN"
No.
"I"
Noooooo
"CLIMB YOU"
Damnit zerry

Me:
9.9 Zerry has... a Liiiiiiiiiiittle more restraint than that.
"Hi there! I'm Zerry! Paladin of Lliira the goddess of Joy! I would love to bring joy and feel that is how I would be helpful here canIclimbyou"
"Ah yes-waitwhat?!"
*climb!*

Yeah the place is all epic and spooky and all, but...  Jack's mind immediately goes to bad puns.  *Looks at cloak and plays a tune*  Time to face the music!  *Looks at fancy regalia*  This devil sure has a lot of details.  *Looks at big guards*  Are they just regular guards or distressed body guards?  *Looks at metal chair*  That thing must weigh a skele-TON.

They just keep flooding Jack's mind.

Zerry announcing that she's a paladin snaps him out of it.  He telepaths to the group, "When I suggested we should let them believe that our motivation is solely profit, and nobody objected, I took that to mean that we were going to go with that.  But now that the devil boss knows that we're goodie-goodies, I guess we're going to have to fight our way out.

"Just as well.  I sure as hell wasn't liking the idea of leaving numb-skull alive.  But so long as he's being chatty..."

Jack addresses the Grand Master, "Greetings back atcha.  I am Jack.  Musician and historian.  On the way here we were told that Kwalish once opened a portal to the 9 Hells.  What was his punishment?  And was it you that popped through and scratched those Infernal-eze messages on the walls outside?"
This message was last edited by the player at 00:43, Fri 14 Feb 2020.

The Grand Master listens to Zerry's and Jack's introductions of themselves and the group. When asked about Kwalish, the Grand Master nods and says, "Others that came through the portal wrote those messages, but I was the one to drove Kwalish away from here and took over this island to create the monastery. Kwalish fled towards what is now the ancient and now lost Netherese city of Daoine Gloine, which I know from Kwalish' notes to be east of Jalanthar in the Nether Mountains. From what I have learned, he caused that city to be abandoned with his extraplanar meddling. The fool didn't learn his lesson here.. I never did find out how many people in that city died due to his actions."

The Grand Master rubs his chin with a claw and then looks to Lean Meimbaol and almost snarls as he says, "Lean, you forget that those outside the order are to leave their weapons outside this building... we'll deal with the repercussions of this later since you never know who might attempt to assassinate me or someone else here." as the Grand Master notices Markus looking ready to speak up.

Markus waits until the Grand Master nods to him as the Warlock asks, “With the recent attacks by various Giants and their minions, that is understandable. Which brings up a question of how did the Monastery of the Distressed Body repel an attack by sky pirates?”

Lean looks fearful but sighs in relief when the Grand Master turns his attention back to the party the elder monk has brought before him, completely unaware that the only reason the Grand Master hasn't ordered him to be punished or made an example of is the distraction inadvertently created by Markus as the Grand Master smiles as before eagerly boasting, "One of the wonders of this floating island is the Teleportation-Field Devices some of which I have set up to rescue anyone who somehow manages to fall off the island. I used several of them to redirect the siege weapon projectiles from the airship to send them back from whence they came. While it didn't cripple the airship, it did scare the crew off. I would use the same tactic against the Stone Giants, but the boulders they occasionally toss at the island from the nearby mountain peaks always fall short of the island."

Varis blinks as the telepathically the group 'That sounds a lot like how Markus' Cosmic Rifts spell works... just over a far larger area. That is actually quite impressive.'

  "As my friend says, it is rough with a job as simple as trading and transportation these days.  I'm probably the most heavily armed half-orc in the country at this point, and it was minimum requirement to make it through your front door.  What seems like common sense means you probably won't see many more applicants until things settle down. Also, as a former miner for less than... considerate, employers.  I really wish more people had something like you, even without the wonderful mental image of throwing rocks back at giants."

  It is the (seemingly) intended purpose Tark wants to loot the dungeon for, should things come to open combat.  Even if he knows his friends will understandably be more concerned with the already proven combat applications.

Zerry blushes and telepaths, "Oops... sorry, Jack! I forgot!"

Lucy paths, "...sure as hell? Numb-skull? I see what you did there, Jack. Well since we're not disguising, let's still be careful what we say, OK? For example, Varis keeping Markus' spell to our telepathic conversation was smart; they don't need to know what we're capable of. And I'm guessing he won't be keen on us getting Kwalish's notes. I'm sure nobody in the monastary is keen on that even if they trusted us, given the result of Kwalish's folly."

Zerry telepathically asks, "What if they ASK what we're capable of?"

Lucy paths, "Then we'll stay vague. And if they ask specifics... we'll let them know up to the third-most powerful things we can do?"

Zerry considers asking about the brains in jars, but thinks of a more pertinent question. "Grand Master, many a giant will come here also to try and get information on where the Ring of Winter is. Since nobody but the giants want them getting their hands on that, we were hoping to either get to the ring before they do, or provide a way for the sphinx to not tell them. This would be one of the ways we plan to aid the monastery. If you have an idea for that, of course, we're all ears."