Sick of being given the cold shoulder by this insolent door and not wanting to pound his fists into hamburger against it, Le Doctor Supreme gives up and follows Dash through the other door.  Realizing that the pig only wanted to be reunited with the little man with a big heart, Claude runs after Aine, eager to ensure the safety of his health care provider of last resort.

Meanwhile, Obtenir comes up on deck, hacks up some more phlegm to lubricate his new ivory comb, and tells Fouillis to leave the goat alone.  But Fouillis wants at least one free ride.

17:07, Today: Quadrakill rolled 6 using 1d20-1.  Catch goat and ride.
This message was last edited by the player at 22:08, Fri 14 Feb 2020.

Obligingly, a few of the islanders slip into the ship's galley to see what's cooking.

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Location: Main Deck
Time: Past Dawn
Exits: A-P Door->Captain's quarters, judging by the door.
A-S Door -> Galley (Aine, Claude, and Dash).
Stern-Port Door -> ??
Stern-Starboard Door -> ??
Ladder to fo’c’sle -> ??
Ladder to poop deck -> ??

There are a lot of exits. You should probably split up into six groups.

Note: (1) Nope, not going to happen. Foullis skins his knees in his next attempt to mount the goat. Given the viscera-coated deck, he'd better have those licked clean lickety split or hello cellutis.

Fouillis is outraged by the goat’s uncooperative attitude!  “See what you did?  You made my knees get skinned.  Do you know what that means, you thoughtless animal?  With all the viscera coating the deck, I’ll get get cellutis unless they’re licked clean.  So get over here and start licking!”

When the goat’s response turns out to be suboptimal, Obtenir struts up to him, hocks a loogie and spits it on Fouillis’s skinned knees.  He refuses to lick them, but does offer to comb them for him.  Finally, Fouillis gives up on anyone in this world doing right by him and tries licking his own knees.

Meanwhile, in the galley, Claude tries to convince Aine to return to the deck.  “Come on, boss.  This place is no good for you.”

“This place will be fine once the dead bodies and coal learn some manners!” he retorts angrily.  “Stop rattling, coal!  And you, dead body.  Throw yourself out le window.  Can’t you see you are in my way?  Le chef supreme wants to prepare the fantastiq meal of le century, so scoot.  It does not say dead body storage on le door!”
This message was last edited by the player at 02:06, Sun 16 Feb 2020.

"Time to gear up," Endo suggests helpfully, grabbing the sword from the nearest dead sailor. He instructs Olfred to do the same, since it doesn't appear anybody else has bothered to do so.

"Looks like the shit really hit the fan up here," Olfred observes. "Guess that means there's only one thing to do now," he finishes. With a knowing nod Endo joins him and they both head for the poop deck.

Kovac breathed the salty deck air with some relief, yet it appeared they were not out of the woods yet. The sea stretched around them and the eeire red sky was not a good sign at all.

Alrik made a sign as he glanced at the sky and muttered, "Bad omen, that," and gripped his sword more tightly. It certainly wasn't a good omen; the ship was moving despite a crew but to what direction, no one knew. Were they going towards landfall or deeper into the ocean? And then there were more dead sailors here, no doubt with more missing organs...

As the other ex prisoners started exploring, Kovac decided he and his group should do the same. Anything to kill the time before it killed them.

He signaled Alrik and Gnori towards the Starboard door, standing to the side with sword in hand as Gnori moved to open it.

---

If no one else takes the 3rd sword from the dead guard after Endo & Oldred take the other two, Gnori will help himself to it.

A few islanders disappear within the stern-starboard cabin as two make their way to the poop deck.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Location: Main Deck
Time: Past Dawn
Exits: A-P Door->Captain's quarters, judging by the door.
A-S Door -> Galley (Aine, Claude, and Dash).
Stern-Port Door -> ??
Stern-Starboard Door -> The Three Strangers
Ladder to fo’c’sle -> ??
Ladder to poop deck -> Endo and Olfred

There are a lot of exits. Good job, you've already split into four groups. Next, read aloud any skin-bound tomes. Any music boxes you find should absolutely be sampled as well. Coupling (or tripling) should definitely be on the immediate agenda as well.
This message was last edited by the GM at 02:51, Mon 17 Feb 2020.

Kat straps on the sword belt he had picked up earlier.  With the others having all gone different ways, he shrugs and walks over to the door that seems to lead to the captain's quarters.  He knocks hard a few times to make sure that anyone in there can hear him, and he calls out "Hello, Captain?  Are you there?  We'd like to have a word with you about the condition of your ship!"

Neftas and Twanep (and Porcelina) edge closer to see what happens, but they are not standing so close that they might be mistaken for backup.

This message was deleted by the player at 00:53, Tue 18 Feb 2020.

Aine gasps as he sees a stony iguana hit the galley floor with hostile intentions.  He is shocked not by the threat, but by the audacity of this reptilian interloper.  And it dares present itself to him in such a condition, all covered in coal dust!  Surprise soon turns to rage.

“Putrid lizard, you die!”

16:34, Today: Quadrakill rolled 0 using 1d3-2.  Le damage.
16:33, Today: Quadrakill rolled 7 using 1d20.  Aine to hit with chain.


“Oh my God... there’s a combat and my primary physician is my ONLY physician!”

Claude defends his health care self-interests by charging bravely to the lizard.

16:36, Today: Quadrakill rolled 1 using 1d3-2.  Damage.
16:36, Today: Quadrakill rolled 10 using 1d20-2.  Claude to hit with chain.

Hearing a battle in progress, Obtenir and Fouillis rush to the gallery brandishing their chains.

There is a great clatter of pots, pans, and knives emanating from the galley. Someone must be making ratatouille. Yeah, that's it.

As Kat attempts to obtain an audience with the ship's captain to file a grievance, Porcelina nudges Neftas insistently. Now, everybody knows there isn't a smarter barnyard animal than a pig and the dwarf immediately kens his sow's warning: "Those other pigs are fakin' bacon!"

And, sure enough, when the sow's master looks over at the three pigs, he sees them rise to their hind legs and thunder towards him and his group at the captain's door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh: You get +2 to your init check against the ?pigs?. Meet or exceed init 4 to act first. They have AC 10.

Location: Main Deck
Time: Past Dawn
Exits: A-P Door->Captain's quarters, judging by the door.
Main Deck: Nef, Twa, and Kat
A-S Door -> Galley (Aine, Claude, Obt, Fou, and Dash).
Stern-Port Door -> ??
Stern-Starboard Door -> The Three Strangers
Ladder to fo’c’sle -> ??
Ladder to poop deck -> Endo and Olfred

Olfred and Endo have barely made it halfway up the ladder to the poop deck when they hear the commotion of combat and some unsettling pig squeals from whence they came. Olfred, taking up the rear, hesitates and looks back.

"We have to keep moving," Endo declares grimly. "It's every man for himself out here, and we still don't know what we're up against."
This message was last edited by the GM at 03:24, Fri 21 Feb 2020.

Kat draws the sword he had just picked up a moment before.  With his wiry figure he does not look quite as intimidating as he had hoped, although the scraggly, unkempt beard helps a bit, maybe.  As the pseudo-pigs advance, he lunges at the nearest one.  He has never actually used a sword before though, so his arm is not positioned correctly to actually hit his target with enough force to matter.

At his sides, Neftas and Twanep draw their weapons as well (or rather, the most threatening of the gear they had recovered earlier).  The dwarf wields his herder's staff, while the halfling has a sharp awl.  Only the latter has any luck hitting a target, stabbing one of the oncoming creatures in its considerable belly.

Josh rolled 16,16,18 using 1d20+2,1d20+2,1d20+2.  Initiative (N, T, K).

Josh rolled 8,19,4 using 1d20-1,1d20,1d16.  Attack (N, T, K).
-Josh rolled 2 using 1d4.  Damage.

Twanap and Hammy Hams trade blows. The ham survives; Twanap does not.

Fake Bacon crashes into the captain's door with its superior wood and falls prone, bruised and broken.

Phony Pork trips over the prone rasher but is otherwise uninjured.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hammy Ham --  AC 10  -2 hp
Fake Bacon -- AC 10  -4 hp and prone
Phony Pork -- AC 10  prone
This message was last edited by the GM at 21:45, Fri 21 Feb 2020.

Porcelina falls upon one of the fallen bipedal ribwiches. She worries its throat in a manner that Neftas unfailing interprets as: "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any pig."

Porcelina does not intend for this man-pig to rise again, so rise again it shall not.

Fake Bacon expires an honest pig.
This message was last edited by the GM at 23:12, Fri 21 Feb 2020.

Aine and his surviving companions, Fouillis and Obtenir, rush back out of the galley, investigating the new racket.  "What new trouble is this?  Le pigs?  But I did not call the police département!"

The Quad Squad Minus Claude prepares to join the battle.
This message was last edited by the player at 00:28, Mon 24 Feb 2020.

"Tres bon," Nef says to the little pig, encouraging her to continue in her brutality.  "I think you have the right idea."  He follows this up by swinging his herder's staff down and giving a good whack to the other pigman who is still prone.

Kat, being a little more firmly planted in reality, swings his sword clumsily at Hammy while shouting for anyone else to come and help.

Josh rolled 11,6 using D20-1,d16.  Attack (N, K).
-Josh rolled 2 using 1d4-1.  Damage.

Phony Pork rights itself from its prone position. Not that there is anything right about that.

Hammy clatters into the beggar man, breaking bones and knocking him towards the edge of the deck (2 dmg and DC 8 Ref save, please).

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes (1) All on the main deck may post. (2) The poop deck is not all that removed from the main deck...at least according to the ship schematic.

Hammy Ham --  AC 10  -4 hp
Fake Bacon -- AC 10  -4 hp and prone
Phony Pork -- AC 10
This message was last edited by the GM at 03:39, Tue 25 Feb 2020.

The charge of the anti-pork brigade commences!

Aine le damage: 1 point
19:06, Today: Quadrakill rolled 17 using 1d20.  Aine to hit with le chain.
19:06, Today: Quadrakill rolled 3 using 1d20+1.  Obtenir to hit.
19:05, Today: Quadrakill rolled 2 using 1d3.  Fouillis damage.
19:05, Today: Quadrakill rolled 16 using 1d20.  Fouillis to hit.

Kat has faked pain plenty of times, but he's never felt it for real this badly before.  He stumbles toward the rail and just barely manages to grab hold before the rocking of the ship would have sent him over.  He takes a few seconds to catch his breath and come back to his senses.

Meanwhile, Twanep is starting to lose his temper, something that has happened so rarely he doesn't even know what's going on.  He takes another wild swing at Phony but barely connects.

Josh rolled 2 using 1d20.  Kat - Ref save.
-spending 6 Luck to pass the roll

Josh rolled 10,1 using d20-1,d4-1.  Nef - attack, damage.

After disappearing for an unusually long time on the poop deck, Olfred and Endo reappear coming down the ladder. They draw swords and move with, perhaps, not as much haste as would be expected towards the man vs. pig showdown. Perhaps it was just the wind, but the other adventurers suspect they hear Olfred mutter "Maybe it will be over before we get there..." Meanwhile, Endo just looks excited to cut something.

--

08:16, Today: Coily rolled 3 using 1d20.  Endo Init.
08:16, Today: Coily rolled 14 using 1d20+1.  Olfred Init.

*I rolled individual initiative but I'm not sure if that's correct since the book suggests one initiative per player...

Phony Pork, standing on his last (hind? fore?) leg, nuzzles his snout through the rent in Aine étrange's stomach wall, chomps down on a length of intestine within, and then yanks its prize into the light. It's more than any man could withstand even one as supreme as Aine (4 dmg and death for Aine).

Notes (1) All on the main deck may post. (2) Josh, I rolled an attack for Kat last round. No luck--especially for Aine.

Hammy Ham --  AC 10  -5 hp
Fake Bacon -- AC 10  -5 hp
Phony Pork -- AC 10 -4 hps

“What an artist the world has lost,” Aine gurgles as he dies.  “A tout le monde!”

In a state of shock and outrage, Obtenir and Fouillis swing the chains of vengeance.

22:27, Today: Quadrakill rolled 4 using 1d3+1.
22:27, Today: Quadrakill rolled 9 using 1d20.  Obtenir to hit.
22:26, Today: Quadrakill rolled 3 using 1d3.  Damage.
22:26, Today: Quadrakill rolled 10 using 1d20.  Fouillis to hit.
This message was last edited by the player at 03:27, Sat 29 Feb 2020.

Kat makes his way back to the melee, where he and Neftas fall in on the last of the savage swine.  Neftas does nothing of note with his staff, but the proud beggar finally strikes true with his sword.  When he withdraws it from the creature's body, he wipes off the blood on his shirt and says "I just needed a little practice with it.  Anything is possible if you work for it, right?"

Today: Josh rolled 15,8 using d16,d20-1.  attack (K, N).
-Josh rolled 5 using 1d6.  damage.

And the last of the bipedal swine dies, its jaws locked on a ribbon of red tethering it to Aine.

Most of you still stand on the main deck of the ship. No land is in sight, but a fair wind propels the ship smoothly along.

High on the mainmast above, you see the ship’s unmanned crow’s nest. The two-handed lever of the ship’s bilge pump is affixed near the port side of the ship.

Chickens, please let them be chickens, wander the deck aimlessly, happily clucking and bleating. As they roam, you notice a trail of slimy mucus clings to their feet and hooves. A few goats feast on all that is on offer.

Three sailors, already relieved of their swords, lie dead on the deck. So, too, do two recently liberated emigrants from Alviz.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Location: Main Deck
Time: Past Dawn
Exits: A-P Door->Captain's quarters, judging by the door.
A-S Door -> Galley (Dash)
Stern-Port Door -> ??
Stern-Starboard Door -> The Three Strangers
Ladder to fo’c’sle -> ??
Ladder to poop deck ->

Olfred and Endo run up to the remainder of the group and their fallen friends and foes, breathing heavily from their "run" but showing no other evidence that they were in any particular haste. "Damn, looks like we just missed it," Olfred says with utmost sincerity.

Endo sheathes his sword with an inscrutable face. "Shame about our healthcare," he mutters. Then, louder to the group, "Quick update for everyone left in the land of the living. The helm of this ship is busted, so we're totally out to sea in more ways than one. More importantly, we found a ledger containing the ship roster. The Captain, first mate, and surgeon are all unaccounted for. More weirdly, there's some sort of Priestess of Alkar-Az in stasis somewhere on this ship. Sounds like a bad lady, but I suspect she has some answers for us if we can find her."