Re: The Tome of Legends - Part 1
Mord gives his word that the group will deliver the letter as instructed and return to report at the Harpers' Guild. Genessa hands over the bound package and the pouch of 50 gold Ferisedan coins.
The group pays Idora and thanks her for her hospitality and then swings by the market quarter on heir way out of town to do some last minute recon on Arthur the Author.
Holly spots the booth first and points it out silently to the others. It's a very non-descript wooden vendor stall with no sign, decoration, or obvious wares. You walk up to the stall and Snow introduces you to Arthur. She tells him that you're Triplefang travelers and that you've agreed to deliver his letter to Pippen.
"Newcomers to the city, huh?" He says, setting down the large book he was reading and picking up a smaller book. "Oh that's wonderful. Can I have your names, please?"
Arthur seems delighted to meet you. You introduce yourselves and he makes note of each of you.
"Well, from the looks of you I doubt any of you can read, so my masterworks would go to waste. Let's just do this right here and now, shall we?"
"I find it very appropriate that a bunch of inbred, halfwit, illiterate hayseeds with undeniably inferior parentage would be delivering my letter to that daft knob Pippen. As mind-bogglingly unlikely as it would be to find someone lesser than that useless antisocial goblin-fucker to act as messenger, I have stumbled into the great fortune of finding as many such feebs as to count them on all the fingers of one hand, even though I'm sure the task of counting that high is beyond the sharpest of you dim, flickering embers. At least one of you bumbling oafs would likely find some damned-fool way to perish just walking across a pleasant field, but with all five of you there's a chance one will actually make the trip without drowning after picking a fight with their own reflection in the crystal clear waters of Loch Grimikel, or burn to death cuddling too close to the campfire, or choke trying to wear your trousers as a blouse. Yes I am heartened that, put together, you all may just be able to do the simple job of one child half your age."
Arthur draws in a long deep breath and continues.
"And may I make a suggestion on how to spend your gold if you return? Two coppers for a thick sack to put over the face of one of these near-feminine horrors, and the rest on a sizable dowery. There are a few men here in Rankor who might be gullible and desperate enough to marry her sight unseen, assuming they didn't have a functioning sense of smell. A few whacks with a stout branch wouldn't do either one's looks a bit of harm and might well keep her from scrapping the deal with her infernal braying. The prospects, however, are less bright for you three intolerable meatheads. There are animals found on any farm with more ability to contribute to society, and I'll add that any sane woman would rather bed those domesticated creatures than endure disgusting, fumbling coitus with the vile likes of you. Sadly, I fear the only likely outcome is that you pathetic and totally unappealing Triplefang, completely unable to find equally wretched spouses, will mate with each other and produce another generation of even less viable, backwards, deformed morons."
"Now be on your way lest your very presence become so appalling and offensive as to bring the commerce of this great city to a grinding halt and ruin us all."
He closes the small book and dismisses you with a shooing motion of the hand.
This message was last edited by the GM at 09:38, Fri 28 Jan 2011.