Chat with Joe Darkthorne.   Posted by Mittens.Group: 0
Mittens
 GM, 79 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Thu 9 Sep 2010
at 04:10
Chat with Joe Darkthorne
On the day appointed for Mittens to meet up with Joe, she gives him a call to see if there's anything preventing him from showing up at the rendezvous place he picked.

((OOC: Leaving it up to Joe's player to pick a place and time of day he'd want to meet with her. ))
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 40 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Fri 10 Sep 2010
at 06:02
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  Joe's cellphone is indeed readily accessible to him when he gets the call.  So Mittens knows that nothing so far is preventing their meeting at the pleasant scenery behind the Library.  Joe's player succeeded in finding random interior shots of the library they were thinking of, but nothing for the grass, old tiled walkways, and stone benches behind and around it.

  Joe's player also beats Mittens's player to the fashion statement linking in this thread.  http://www.topatoco.com/graphi...0001/qw-meat-big.gif
  Lets' see her top that.  Odds are good she will.

  There was some temptation to set the meeting inside the library, but Joe figures a bench outside the library like the one he's seated on has less risk of library Permaban over kitty girl megaphone usage or something.
Mittens
 GM, 98 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Sat 11 Sep 2010
at 04:51
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Mittens was feeling a bit eccentric and tom-boy that day, so she wore one of her more edgy shirts.  http://blog.ruderetro.com/wp-c...03/axe-cop-shirt.png  Somehow, it seemed to compliment Joe's attire.  She peers at his shirt over her sunglasses and snickers.

"A very important point!" she comments with a giggle, "One worth remembering.  So how you doin' today, Joe?  In the mood for snacks?"

She brought along a variety of such.  Cheeze puffs, pretzels, cheeze-pretzel hybrids...  Along with her ubiquitous backpack.  Joe's forethought was wise.  There's a very good chance there's a megaphone inside that backpack.
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 42 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Sat 11 Sep 2010
at 06:45
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  Joe waves hi to the kitty arrival, "Also less debatable than most sarcasm T-Shirts.  Hi Mittens, good to see yah...  I'm open to snacks, though I'm glad I opted for outside the library because I think librarians have shoot on sight orders regarding Cheeze puffs around the books."  He'll opt for regular pretzels.

  "So, what can the agile slacker do for the fuzzy overachiever today?"
Mittens
 GM, 103 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Sun 12 Sep 2010
at 00:04
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Mits chuckles at Joe's point about cheese puffs and library commandos.  She takes out a note pad and pencil then has a seat on one of the benches.  (OOC: That description you gave sounds almost exactly like the local library where I live. http://www.ahmfl.org/DSC00059.JPG  Those stone slabs near the benches are millstones.  Had a meet with my temp job boss there once.  Great place to sit and chat. )

"Slacker?!" Mittens asks in shock, "Sarcasm must be a way of life for you.  Not very slacker to rescued a family of four!  Or to electrocute yourself to take out a water monster!"
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 43 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Sun 12 Sep 2010
at 06:10
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  "Sarcasm is a frequent factor when it comes to my mindset.  But I'm also still not used to the whole contributing to society thing."  Joe considers the notepad and cant decide if his expectations are for Mittens to write down every shred of his rambling, or make cliff notes of them making it seem more nonsensical than usual.

  "I'm sure you've done lots more than I have anyways.  Likely without wondering 'will I decently get paid for doing something that doesn't involve too much math?' in the process."

  Joe would like to get decently paid for doing something that doesn't involve too much math.  But even those legal lab tests subject deals you actually get paid for can be a touch creepy.  If nowhere near the creepy Diren had to put up with without pay.
Mittens
 GM, 108 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Mon 13 Sep 2010
at 01:28
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Mittens' makes no effort to hide what notes she takes.  If Joe should peek, he would see the following so far:
- Joe is made of meat.
- Beware cheese puff hunting librarians.  Liscence to kill.
- Math is Joe's kryptonite.

"Right!"
Mittens answers, "No math.  I'm pretty sure that can be arranged.  Do you already have a job right now?"

If Joe were employed as a lab rat, Mittens might have to come up with a teasing nick name for him to try and convince him to find a different job.
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 44 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Mon 13 Sep 2010
at 08:33
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  Joe is so glad for the avoidance of advanced Math, though he'll likely need to tally up property damage if he goes through with the 'write news stories' angle.  "Not at the moment, no.  Was either this or college and the latter costs money.  Unfortunately, the former doesn't earn any either, even if I'm not worse off than before."

  Joe considers this for a moment, then adds "Aside from the whole risk of death increase thing."  He really isn't expecting anything out of the citizen patrol thing besides effort, possible death, and his stupid conscience bothering him if he considers ditching.
Mittens
 GM, 117 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Wed 15 Sep 2010
at 12:33
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Mittens listens with nods while rubbing her chin, taking another note:
-Look into life insurance for members.

"In that case, what would you say to being officially employed by the Citizen Patrol?" she asks enthusiastically, "There's lots that needs done, and there's no way I can get it all done myself in the time frame we're looking at, so I'm gunna need hired help anyway.  I'm pitching the idea of full employment to other members who don't already have jobs, and it's only minimum wage, so don't feel pressured to join up.  But you'll make the kitten cry if you say no."

She feigns a pouty look and rubs her eye while taking a Citizen Patrol employment application sheet out of her backpack to hand to Joe.
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 46 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Thu 16 Sep 2010
at 08:35
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  Joe's answer is pretty much a foregone conclusion.  All that remains to be seen is now much verbal meandering is involved before it gets to that point.  "So, exchanging 'I don't get paid for this' for 'I don't get paid enough for this' then?" he asks as he reads over the application.

  No, Joe's player isn't going to make Mittens's player detail a full application form.  "At the very least I won't be required to wear a Bowtie in ninety degree weather.  And getting paid for what I'll be doing anyways beats a minimum wage job on top of it"  That said, he starts filling out the form.

  "Though I thought I already told you my powers were fueled by the tears of women?"

This message was last edited by the GM at 08:36, Thu 16 Sept 2010.

Mittens
 GM, 131 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Fri 17 Sep 2010
at 04:00
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
"Hot dog!" Mittens cheers with a single hand clap at Joe's acceptance of employment, "Just no math, right?  Cool.  Rod's taking care of that anyhow.  Well there's another catch...  Maybe not bowtie in hot weather, but dressing for success will be handy if you think you can swing that.  If not I'll just ask someone else to handle the meet-and-greets or I'll handle 'em myself.  You see...  We need funding.  The city's budget isn't going to be enough to cover your salary let alone the other stuff that needs done.  So first order of business is drumming up sponsors.  That'll be our first priority.  I'm expecting us to have a lot more success at it than I did first starting out thanks to all the positive press we've gotten lately.  I don't recall you mentioning your powers being fueled by anything... I hope you're kidding."

This message was last edited by the player at 04:03, Fri 17 Sept 2010.

Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 49 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Sat 18 Sep 2010
at 09:17
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  "Dressing for success would be flame retardant, waterproof, and electrically insulated.  And that's just going off the first ten minutes of the job."  Joe comments, though he eyes Mittens as she brings up the 'oh by the way we can't actually pay you' detail.

  Sure, he had a feeling it was too much to hope for when the budget (outside of the supposed fielding of property damage) was limited to One box of Donuts and a pot of coffee a day.  But it still makes that dark deep urge to strangle girls wake up for a moment before smacking the proverbial snooze button.  "Unlike your bad news, mine was just a joke yeah."
Mittens
 GM, 137 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Sun 19 Sep 2010
at 02:50
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
"Tell me about it!" Mittens answers Joe's suggestion for scuba firefighter powerlineman armor, "Funny image comes to mind.  When James Bond unzipped his scuba suit to reveal a tux underneath."

But she's the kind of person who'd give that idea some serious thought.  She writes it down on her notepad.

"Apologies for the bad news, yeah, but can't be helped obviously.  Just wanted to get you in at the ground level before things got competitive, knowhatimean?  Saves me lots of headaches if your volunteer position becomes a paid one as opposed to the alternatives.  Besides... spending money I don't have yet is the American way, right?"

She smirks and winks.

(( In my search for an example of the "tell me about it" facial expression, I found this: http://i68.servimg.com/u/f68/15/18/10/80/double12.jpg ))
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 52 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Sun 19 Sep 2010
at 09:10
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  "One must be extra careful when putting on their garrote wire bowtie.  Or at least you did until they made them clip-ons." Another ridiculous, if actually doable in the near future idea for the notepad.  "Getting the paperwork out of the way ahead of time can be a good thing, yeah.  Though if one of those pointless Employee education videos is involved I think I can deal with the paid employment thing not coming up for a bit longer than otherwise."

OOC Style: Fun fact! An acquaintance of mine years back was told to 'get out' when they answered 'That video wasn't helpful at all' after asked if they had any more questions now that the video was done. I don't remember what the job was, but there yah go -.-
  Honesty can be so very hazardous to your health.  And employment odds.

This message was last edited by the GM at 09:11, Sun 19 Sept 2010.

Mittens
 GM, 142 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Mon 20 Sep 2010
at 03:50
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Mittens giggles at the bowtie and employment video gags, taking more notes.

"Haven't gotten to the point of having training videos yet," she says, "But I do plan to have our faces on TV.  There's already talk of a TV movie just from that water monster encounter, but I suspect we'll have more material for them before that even gets scripted.  Either way, you happen to have any theater experience?  Would you be interested in acting lessons and acting in a movie?  Another source of income that doesn't involve math on your part."

She smirks and winks.  ;)

"Or would you rather someone else act out your part?  Oh... And I'm working on scheduling talk show appearances.  Any preferences on that end?"
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 53 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Mon 20 Sep 2010
at 08:20
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  Joe says "Even if David Spade still had a career they wouldn't properly convey my nonsensical seething annoyance with at least half of existence.  On the other hand, less effort for me.  No personal theatre experience outside of the kind where you buy tickets and watch a movie."

  Joe considers the talk show thing, "Any appearance at least past twelve in the afternoon.  Nevermind less people watch the early shows, that would mean having to get up early myself."
Mittens
 GM, 149 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Wed 22 Sep 2010
at 02:49
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Mittens takes more notes.  This time more mundane variety.

"I hope I'm fully on the half of existence that you're not annoyed with," she says in all honesty, "If not, please let me know how I can change for the better.  I'll put you down as willing to participate in a movie unless I misunderstood your answer.  And since I'm on the topic of taking inventory of your talents, you happen to have any musical inclinations?  Play an instrument?  Song?  Dance?"

She's expecting Joe to be one of those, "I'm talented in absolutely nothing," kinds of people...  Only she's expecting such a statement to be more accurate than modest.
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 55 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Wed 22 Sep 2010
at 09:54
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  "Like you are on the less annoying half of existence, the less effort half of my comments were the part regarding my willingness to deal with movie shoots unless options were limited."

  He shrugs in regards to the musical talent question.  "I played a little bit of drums in gradeschool and have since forgotten everything I learned." More accurately would probably be 'I learned to play A drum'.  "Anything you were particularly looking forward to you somehow wouldn't have been able to do otherwise without me?"

  Joe is expecting 'no' or 'we can run towards more explosions at once' or something.
Mittens
 GM, 152 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Wed 22 Sep 2010
at 13:35
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Difficulty understanding what other people say is apparently an ongoing theme for Mittens in fantasy and space opera settings, so why not here too?  She tilts her head and furrows her brows like a New York pigeon trying to figure out where he's seen a puppy's mug before.  (Scene from Bolt)

"Raaah!" she exclaims in a cave-man voice, "Mittens not understand!  Hard words smash Mittens head!"

She pounds her head with her fist and snaps out of it.

"I'll just repeat what I think you said and reply accordingly.

"Joe thinks Mittens is not annoying.  Mittens say: Am happy Joe is not annoyed with Mittens.

"Joe dislikes effort.  Joe is willing to help with movie anyway.  But only if he's not coerced.  Mittens say: Am happy Joe willing to help with movie.  Options are not limited.  Will not corner friend into doing something they don't like.

"Joe not know music.  Mittens say: Am let musician be the judge of that.  Please come to music meeting.

"Joe want to know if anything he uniquely qualified for.  Mittens say: Fighting Monsters!  None lined up at the moment, but will let Joe know when that happen."


Mittens understanding of Joe is the same as player's understanding of Joe.  If Mittens could read last sentence of narrative, would be even more head smashed by hard words.

This message was last edited by the player at 15:32, Wed 22 Sept 2010.

Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 58 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Sat 25 Sep 2010
at 08:47
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  "Your Captain Cavegirl filtered assumptions are the correct assumptions." Joe's thoughts turn towards the mental image of Mittens with a Captain Caveman style Club=Batbelt, as opposed to the redundancy of an animal furred girl wearing animal furs.

  "I don't believe I'll be making a habit of electrocuting myself to solve problems.  Though hopefully there will be convenient tall ledges to elbow drop from."  When you control like a floaty platform game protagonist, someone taking a big step to the left and looking smug isn't quite so much of a problem as it normally is.  "I'll go to the Music meeting, if only to see the more artistically competent of you all do your thing."
Mittens
 GM, 170 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Sat 2 Oct 2010
at 03:47
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Mittens smiles and chuckles at Joe's nickname for her.

"Good!  Glad I figured it out!  And yay for agreeing to go to music meeting!  Even if you don't wind up on the band, moral support is a very important and helpful thing you can help provide.  As for not being electrocuted on a regular basis, I hope that is the case.  Though I've been getting a lot of inklings like your earlier prediction about us spending a lot of time keeping the city from exploding might be pretty accurate.  Still... Till anything crops up... we can only do our best to keep to the general first step of generating enough revenue to get everything accomplished.  Here's some stuff to get you started."

She hands Joe a library book, "Fundraising For Dummies" ( http://www.amazon.com/Fundrais...n-Mutz/dp/0764552201 ) and a list of potential sponsors.
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 62 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Tue 5 Oct 2010
at 10:05
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  "Well yes.  If the citizens patrol job was only has hard as the 'we have whistles and flashlights' variety then half our time would be spent with bake sales as opposed to keeping Stalin's Mexican Clone Baby from subjugating Rhode Island.  Or whatever kind of upscaleing from Water monster gets."

  Joe has a free book!  So long as it is returned in a timely fashion or else.  He might even read a few pages of it... Okay he read a few pages now he's done forever.  "So.  Discount rate news team comes with a side in panhandling.  Should I get a hat to leave on the sidewalk for change while we're vigilantening (curse you, no proper spellcheck for made up words) it up?"
Mittens
 GM, 185 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Thu 7 Oct 2010
at 01:25
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Mittens' eyes go wide and she lip syncs the word "What?!" as she listens to Joe describe the most bizarre fantasy crisis she's ever heard.  Then the thought of laying out a hat for people to toss coin in while you rescue kittens from trees makes her laugh.  She resumes the note-taking.  Could it be she's found someone even crazier than herself?

"That could be said of pretty much any non-profit," Mittens points out of the pan-handling, "But your knack for humor could earn us a few sponsors if you were to take up stand-up comedy as a hobby and put it to use at fundraiser events.  As for up-scaling from water monsters goes...  I get the feeling you're right about things getting worse than that.  Though that specific example you gave I find unlikely.  Where do you come up with this stuff?  Oh.  And I'm told to avoid the word 'vigilante.'"

She shrugs as if to indicate she doesn't know why she'd be advised that.  But she does know why.
Joe Darkthorne
 GM, 67 posts
 How useful are backflips
 for crime fighting?
Sun 10 Oct 2010
at 06:29
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
  "Stand-Up comedy requires you to come up with material for an extended length of time with little to no outside influence.  I'm more of a nonsensical reaction to current conversation sort of guy.  I will once more blame my father for my social flaws, because it's easy to do and possibly accurate."

  He considers the V word thing,  "Well, I guess because technically we are employed by the city we aren't Vigilantes."
Mittens
 GM, 198 posts
 Adventure Magnet
 Citizen Patrol Leader
Mon 11 Oct 2010
at 23:48
Re: Chat with Joe Darkthorne
Mittens rubs her chin.

"So you're more suited to appearances on 'Who's line is it anyway?' then.  I'll keep that in mind.  And yes, the Citizen Patrol relies heavily on technicalities to get done what needs done without being punished for it.  Not unlike most of the rest of our civilization.  Police kidnap people and hold them ransom, surgeons cut people with sharp objects, firefighters smash stuff, and soldiers level cities all on the basis that technically they have permission.  I'd rather not have to try and legitimize what we do after the fact.  Much less of a hassle to just get a license ahead of time than to try and argue from prison that 'I cut that person with a scalpel to try and save their life.  Honest.'"

She gives Joe a smirk.

"So how am I doing at nonsensical reaction to current conversation?  Or am I sounding like your dad?"

She decides against asking why Joe blames his dad.  She's seen and read enough by now to know why.  David Darkthorne is a funny guy... if he's not your embarrassing parent.