Mits calls a meeting at HQ.

"Bunch of stuff.  Counterfeit C.P. groups have been demanding payment in exchange for their 'protection.'  Others are a bit more subtle about using and abusing our good name for their own ends.  So I've been invited by a number of different levels of government to further legitimize our organization by formally associating with one or more of theirs.  Each offers unique percs, but the main reason is to show the world that we're good, law-abiding types, and we're not trying to build our own little empire.  We'd be issued official law-enforcement style badges, and some are offering generous support and paychecks.

"In other news, FBI guy says they're closing in on the villain who's been turning people into elemental monsters.  He wants to talk with us about how we can help catch the guy.

"Also... cupcakes!  They should be ready any minute now!"
This message was last edited by the player at 03:27, Sat 20 Feb 2016.

Liberty says, "So that's what was smelling so nice..."

Timothius smiles and wiggles his nose in the air.

Emerald says, "So... are we going to be official when we take down this villain? Or are we going to take down the villain before they can get all the paperwork in order? Just curious, really."

Angel is frowning and looking out the window.

One of those subjects is not like the others.

"Any ideas which of them would be less legal fine print stalkerish, as opposed to what they are promising as perks?"

Mits puts on some oven mits and grins impishly.  She pulls the cupcakes out of the oven and answers, "The simple answer to both questions is, 'I don't know.'  FBI guy made it sound super urgent, so judging from the usual speed of big paperwork stalker stuff, I'm guessing we'll be catching the badguy in our usual capacity long before we have any official legal authority.  I asked legal which of the agreements was the shortest, and the answer was, 'The Coast Guard.'  Of course, they also were the ones offering the fewest goodies.  My first reaction was to kinda dismiss the whole idea, but legal tells me that it is in our long-term best interest to associate more closely with a public organization of some kind.  So long as we're not under some kind of government umbrella, we're vulnerable to lawsuits.

"For example.  Suppose ye olde bus full of children is balanced dangerously at the edge of a cliff.  Then suppose Tree Man roots himself and tries to pull the bus to safety.  The bumper rips off and the bus falls.  Investigators discover that had he simply held the bus in place rather than pull, the kids would have escaped out the back door.  The C.P. gets sued for 123 million.  Our insurance only covers 7 million.  Our supergroup goes bankrupt.

"But if instead we were under the umbrella of the National Guard, the government would absorb that 123 mil and we could continue our heroing.  So I was thinking...  What if instead we were to become our own agency?  I mean, the FBI didn't exist before 1908 and they didn't have to join the Coast Guard for legitimacy.  That said, I'm also thinking smaller is better.  Rather than one big national department, we should have lots of little ones.  Like city fire department sized.  Much less potential for big, costly, screw-ups that way.  And much fewer strings attached."
This message was last edited by the player at 03:27, Wed 02 Mar 2016.

Timothius says, "What? I thought the point of joining someone else was to absorb high-end law suits."

Liberty says in an ever-increasing angry tone, "If someone sued us that much for trying to save lives, I would have some heads on a platter and go villain! If that's the kind of reaction we can expect from people for saving lives, I quit! And God help those people because only God will help them."

Emerald says, "Calm down, Liberty... the fact is that nobody has sued us. But... my lack of legal knowledge means I'm asking the same thing Timothius is; how would we absorb hundreds of millions of dollars just because we call our club something else?"

Angel says, "Well you know... for only 100,000, you can hire an assassin who can kill the people suing you, erase all traces, and then make it look like others like them were the murderers..."

  "Liberty, we both know you wouldn't go Evil over that."  So, not gonna specify about the severed heads thing?

  He facepalms at Angel's suggestion, even if he hopes she's joking.  "I'd like to keep that as merely dark wishful thinking rather than something that actually happens"

  Back to hard working red tape juggling kitty cat.  "I'd prefer to avoid any of the ones linked to the military regardless of perks, if sanely possible."  That NEVER works out well in the comics.  Not even in Canada.

Mits nod-nods.  "Agree.  Agree.  True true.  Etc. Etc.  Also: Cupcakes!  Fudge middles!  Take your pick of frosting."

She lays out the toppings.  "Drinks in the fridge.  Help yourselves."

She tops her own with white frosting and sprinkles and pours herself a glass of milk.

"Ok.  So.  To clarify.  1) Yes.  Avoid lawsuits.  Second example.  Suppose Vine Man injures an armed burglar fleeing from ye olde bank with alarm blaring.  Takes him to police station.  Finds out burglar was an actor helping with a safety demo.  Actor tries to sue Vine Man for assault and kidnapping...  Doesn't work!  Because Vine Man was granted legal authority to catch suspects.

"2) Don't be so quick to be angry for Tree Man being punished.  He was actually a self-centered, grandstanding, glory seeking fake hero who didn't really care about the safety of children.  He only bothered to try and save the bus because someone was videoing the emergency.  And in spite of knowing the risk, he pulled on the bumper simply because he wanted to show off.  And fatal disaster followed.  Remember: The reason I was suggesting we go official and subdivide is so anti-heroes won't drag us down.

"3) Handy side-effect.  Should real heroes mess up big time, such as threatening to behead people they are angry with or hire an assassin, that won't drag us down either.  Because somehow, if a person has an official badge, they are nearly immune to getting their pants sued off.

"So.  Agree we should not attach to the military.  And not changing our name.  Instead gain legal authority to stop badguys and rescue people by another means.  And it is that legal authority that will be how we avoid being dragged down by lawsuits."

Nom cupcake and milk!

Emerald shrugs, takes a bite of cupcake and says, "Well I'll be the first to admit I have no idea how this works. I guess paper beats rock AND scissors after all, in this case."

Liberty says, "I wouldn't consider it a mistake to behead people who sue you for trying to save their lives. Even a grand-standing jerk doesn't deserve to be crucified just because he made an error in judgement. Someone like that would probably have rather saved the lives, no matter how you look at it. And by "villain", I mostly meant that when you are in a nation where villains rule and win, it is the heroes who become labeled villain." Grumpy bite of cupcake to punctuate her irritation is go.

Angel noms a cupcake. "Signing our names on a few pieces of paper to kick lawyers where it hurts sounds good to me."

Timothius returns from the fridge with a cup of milk and nibbles a cupcake. "So long as we are going in with both eyes open. I don't want to sign something that has small print saying we can be bossed around to do things we don't want to."

  Joe uses his immaturity powers to chomp cupcake in one go successfully.  Milk after the fact certainly helps matters on being able to properly talk again sooner, though.

  "Well okay, I KNEW knew you actually thought that way Liberty, but I need to work on my PR tact as it is."

Mits grins and thubs-ups at Joe's successful Swallow Whole attack.  "I for one am real excited about the chance to cut down on my busy work.  As far as fine print goes, I trust our legal team because I trust Angel to have made sure no villains are among them.  I'm glad you guys are with me on the idea of becoming more of an officially established institution to cover our butts.  Even if such formal words sound less than exciting.

"On the topic of our being labeled villain..."

Mits takes out a photo of a huge crowd of demonstrators holding pro-Citizen's Patrol signs.

"This is a picture of a recent Anti-Mutant ralley.  So many C.P. supporters showed up that it was harder to find protesters than Waldo in a Where's Waldo puzzle.  We've received so many awards for contributions to society that we need a warehouse to store them, and we're about to get a whole bunch more.  And now we even have nearly every level of government practically begging us to team up with them.  So don't let one made-up example problem that may never happen cloud your view of what's really going on.

"Right now we're so overwhelmingly popular, my biggest worry is that it would be easy for a member to trigger a riot among our more rabid supporters simply by getting on TV and griping about the unfair parking ticket I was given.  So let's please keep the angry venting between just us.

"I'll leave it to someone else to explain that beheading a grieving parent is hard to prove as justified.  Even if they were armed."

Emerald looks surprised by Joe's one-gulp wonder and looks at her cupcake as if trying to figure out how to do it.

Liberty begins calming down until Mittens says that last part. Then Liberty just folds her arms indignantly and says, "It won't matter if it is justified or not if you are already in trouble with the law for someone's death anyway. See how that works? When there is no justice, then justification doesn't matter and you may as well do whatever you want."

Timothius says, "Speaking of not mattering, Mittens is right; we are too popular for that scenario to even be a thing. But even so, we're about to cover all that by signing papers or something."

Emerald says, "You've obviously researched this, right Mitts? So what's the first step? We going anywhere or do we just print out some forms you already know about?"

Angel quietly listens.

  Liberty can manage being more cynical than him, he's so proud-I mean, that's terrible.

  "While probably not the most responsible outlook, do any of them mean less paperwork and red tape for you to juggle, Mittens?"