Joe is thusly hugged.  "I get the feeling I'd have the same nonsensical feeling if it were the worlds manliest halfling I was hiding behind too.  Though at least it's better to have pointless worries than real ones." Joe's standards! Wildly spiraling all over the place.

  "Though we won't pry about your own worries unless we think not doing that would just get you hurt, Bridget.  Probably."

Mits hrms.  "Mittens' self-doubts.  Probably include things like saying the wrong thing at most inopportune time that gets the village burned to the ground by their king rather than getting the guards they needed..."

Mittens 2 scoffs.  "Speak for yourself, Joe.  I'm totally prying!"

She pretends to apply a prybar to Bridget. "Pry.  Pry."

Bridget giggles from Mittens' prying and shakes her head. "Well if that is your worry, Mittens, then make sure you have someone on your team who is skilled at smooth talking. I can tell you, that wouldn't be me."

  Even when Charisma isn't your dump stat, that's still a worry to be had Mittens.

  "Sometimes it's not so much being good, as it is being more qualified by default."Like thievery-Wait, is this Joe trained in thievery? We think this one took the Insight instead.

"Mits gets by," Mittens 2 asserts, "No burned down villages so far."

Mits shrugs.  "One does not simply go to the adventurer mart and select the qualities one wants in their allies.  One takes what one can get.  Which is likely why Joe tolerates Mittens' shenanigans."

Bridget says, "Well let's see what we have so far: Joe, an archer who apparently does just fine in melee. Mittens, a spellcaster. Another Mittens who appears to be some kind of celestial super-being that makes us all look redundant. And myself; someone who just likes acrobatics and yo-yos a lot... though that demon never did use my yo-yos when using my body to fight you. None of us confident enough in our ability to form sentences to try any diplomatic method besides combat, but we're all willing to try anyway. Maybe when we get to the next town, we can look for someone who is good with words?"

Sorry, Bridget. This GM has sworn off playing party members who are CHA or INT primary when GMing.

  Clearly everyone in the party has the same homebrew disadvantage: Doesn't give self enough credit.

  "Mittens, I got to help be responsible for a giant Muppet fight.  Putting up with is things like adventures who are actually Emo and don't just call themselves that." Hmm, Yo-Yos.  Well, melee tagged distance has plenty of practical benefits. As even a certain somebody who prefers long distance crossbows can attest to.

  "Are these yo-yos that have razor blades and strings made of lightning, or more standard well made blunt object on a string mindset?"
This message was last edited by the player at 04:16, Sun 23 July 2017.

Mittens 2 grins impishly then starts mocking the stereotypical emo adventurer, moaning, "Nobody understands me!  Life is so cruel!"

Mits explains, "The other Mittens is a 'spirit companion' that I kinda projected from my own will.  Hence the ability to change appearance and float about and return after getting destroyed.  If she makes anyone redundant, it's me.  Because there's now two of me."

Bridget answers Joe, "The yo-yos are blunt objects with string." and demonstrates by pulling one out and playing with it a bit.

She looks to Mittens. "Well that's different. I guess after what I just went through, I'm not as surprised as I would have been. But I am worried you could or even would try to possess me."

  "Well, blunt objects are a proud tradition that everyone keeps using anyways despite having shiny swords these days." Somewhere, two Dwarven street gangs have a drinking contest over axes Vs hammers.

  He looks over to Emo, and says "No getting so sad you turn into a despair Mittens and make Bridget punch yourself in the face."

Mits 2 floats over to cuddle Bridget from behind.  "WoooOOooo!  I'm possessing yooOOOoou!"

Mits rolls her eyes.  "Duely noted.  But my spirit companion cannot do stuff like that even if I were mind-controlled to want it to."

Bridget blushes and shrugs a shoulder.

Before Bridget can say anything more, though, the caravan gets ambushed.

The wagon driver comments, "They're striking a bit early. Oh well. This is what you're hired for."

The bandits says, "Lay down your weapons and give us your valuables. We'll let you pass by with your lives."

  "Yeah, no thanks.  Orc hordes that literally wanted to eat us kind of make you look quaint by comparison, and they were better at hiding than you.  Any of you want to surrender before I show you that I can still shoot a guy in the face while they are behind a tree?"

"Wow.  And way more reasonable than those orcs," Mittens comments.

Mittens 2 stands.  "Let's see how I do with persuasion."

She floats forward slowly, transforming into a radiant dual-wielding angel.  "You have until the count of 3 to lay down your weapons.  One.  Two."

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pini...d01258246f12b715.jpg
This message was last edited by the GM at 05:17, Sun 23 July 2017.

The bandits stare a moment. Then sheathe their weapons and start clapping! "Bravo! Bravo! Nice display! Are you traveling entertainers? If so, maybe we mistook you for our actual mark..."

Bridget is confused.

  "Not often, but Mittens is responsible for a puppet show at the festival we just left. So surprisingly, yes that description can fit us."

Mittens poofs a Mayzilla puppet.  "Rawr!"

Mits 2 bows all fancy-like and loses the fancy angel look.  "What Joe said.  Our primary occupation is, 'Adventurer,' though, with all the unpaid rescues we've been doing of late, 'Hero' is much more fitting."

Bridget says, "Helping those in need is its own reward."

The bandit says, "Tell that to your stomach when you starve, lass. Anyways... if you bunch aren't even being paid, then even if you are adventurers, you wouldn't be worth the effort. See ya..."

The bandits begin leaving.

  "I know it's a common problem in the world, but something about this area is really making the food issues turn up more often than usual."

  Joe shall defer to the girls about whether or not to take violent action about some of the only bandits on the planet to go 'oh well, not worth the effort. have a nice day!'.

Mittens nods.  "Yeah, first it was, 'I'm so starving I'm going to kill.'  Then it was, 'Please help.  Our village is about to collapse because there's no food.'  Etc. etc."

Mittens 2 blinks and looks at the wagon dude.  "Waait.  We are going to be paid for shooing the bandits, riight?  Or are we going to be given some line like, 'Not paying you because you didn't kill them.'"

The wagon guy says, "The pay is to escort this wagon to its destination. You get paid the same whether you wind up fighting a god or fighting a fly that's annoying you during the trip. But you bragged about being heroes. Those bandits will likely hurt or steal from other people. Not that I care, but if you're heroes, then you'll stop them. If not, then you are not heroes. Simple, really."
This message was last edited by the GM at 06:20, Sun 23 July 2017.

  "Yeah, I thought as much."   Pesky STANDARDS.

  "Hey, Bandits.  I don't suppose we could manage to get you to find honest work if we can pull that off for goblins?"  No, he's not mention the mountain of goblin on goblin violence that was part of that process.

Mittens looks surprised and smiles.  "Well!  Glad to hear you're an honest person to keep to your bargain.  And what's more, you've got guts enough to guilt your guards into picking a fight you could have avoided."

Mittens 2 is skeptical.  "Not all bandits are evil, and not all who kill bandits are heroes.  Ever heard of Robin Hood?"

She calls out to the bandits.  "Who is your mark then if not a merchant wagon?  You aiming to only rob tyrants or something?"

The lead bandit turns to look at the bunch. "We're looking to rob rich folk. We got intel that a wagon coming through today is owned by a known rich guy, so with what looked like adventurers guarding the wagon, we figured you were it. Instead, we find some adorable cat girl pretending to be an adorable cat-angel with her parlor tricks. We're not interested in robbing adorable cat girl performers."

  "Well yeah, but are they an asshole? That's kind of a bigger distinction these days than 'do they have money or not'"