The setting is standard D&D with the Grey Hawk deities. It will be my own world, sure, but think classic D&D as the general feel of said world.

Although the feel of the world is classic D&D, you as player characters may choose any race you want, as long as the race is a reasonable choice for a starting adventuring team.

If you want to play a religious sort, refer to the list of Grey Hawk deities in the 5e PHB, page 295 (272 in my pdf).

Please post your character concept (race, class, features that set them apart) and backstory and I will then post an opening scene.

Each of you will receive a "squire", who will be one of my characters and will be a child around 10 years old (or that race's equivilent). The squire will be there mostly for RP purposes and only really capable of what you might expect a child competent / brave enough to be a squire to be capable of. I'll list who the squire is for each character after character introductions.

In reply to Narrator (msg # 1):

Rocky is an Envoy style Warforged who is a Circle of the Moon Druid. He doesn't worship a specific deity so much as he worships nature itself. For what its worth, alignment wise Rocky is Neutral Good.

Rocky's Backstory: 'Rocky' became a druid due to being severely damaged during his creation as his creator was in a remote area working on an experiment to try to create a Warforged body he could inhabit once his body was near death. Unfortunately for Rocky's creator, the experiment blew up in his face and Rocky's creator died. A nearby druid was drawn to the explosion and found ruined 'lab' and realized Rocky was still alive and an 'innocent' so the druid nursed Rocky back to health using druidic magic to repair and rebuild him. This resulted in Rocky being more in tune with nature than most Warforged, especially since Rocky's body is made mostly out of wood, stone, crystal, and rock but no metals. Over time Rock was taught the ways of the druid and Rocky feels that one shouldn't fight against nature since his original creator tied that and got killed for his efforts. Instead, it is better to be in harmony with nature than rebel against it.

Rocky is Proficient with both Herbalism Kits, with the tool components for Herbalism integrated into his body, and Alchemy Supplies.
Rocky is trained in Survival, Medicine, Nature, Animal Handling, and Insight.
Rocky can Speak Common, Sylvan, and Druidic.

Rocky's Background is a variation of the Noble/Knight with the Retainer feature modified to have the 'retainers' be CR 0 plants/beasts (that can't fly) instead of humans. The 3 'retainers'/animal companion friends/family are:
1: Adrian, the Awakened Shrub - she grows berries that Rocky likes to enchant with the Goodberry spell and she can speak Common (since awakened shrubs can speak 1 language.)
2: Doc, the Deer - who Rocky has trained to be both a light 'pack animal' and to not try to eat Adrian.
3: Buzz, the Giant Fire Beetle - Who Rockey views as not unlike how many would view a family dog or cat. Just one who is also trained to be a 'torchbearer' since he can emit light when he desires.
This message was last edited by the player at 13:47, Fri 28 Sept 2018.

  Joe is a Human Fighter (what a surprise) leaning into Archery and Finesse weapons.  With a wanderer's tendency to know north better than magic items do, automap, and auto forage.

  We're still not quite sure how he ended up knighted.  Though the 'Have not thought of it' sense will probably end up 'actual IC logic' sense.

  While Joe has no need for maps, other people do. Which makes for both an easy source of income, and convenient excuse for why a "Fighter" is spending as much time in the wilderness as a stereotypical Ranger.

  As such, it's the Insert Knighthood Here bookkeepers who tend to remember Joe is actually one of their own, rather than a heavily armed cartographer who drops by regularly.
This message was last edited by the player at 05:11, Fri 28 Sept 2018.

AT-WILL PRESTIDIGITATION!

Bow before the mighty Mittens!

This catfolk could be mistaken for a cleric with the blue armor and holy symbol proudly embroidered on the cape.  But then there's the dual blades, the arcane style to the armor, the fact that it's actually shiny leather not metal, the fancy dualist's hat with a feather in it.  Maybe she's a religious bard?

Did we mention at-will prestidigitation?  Well that's a thing.  Very frequently used.

She'll likely have a cute pet that follows her around.  Haven't decided on who, yet, though.  Maybe a kitten named Lucky.  Or a psudo-dragon named Pyrus.  A Fairy named Dewdrop?  Or a horse named Maximus.  I'll figure that out later.

Proficiency singing!  And air guitar!  And... third thing!

The three of you begin in the Gavton, a town on the western outskirts of Gavenport City. As the name implies, Gavenport is a port city, so to the east is the Glimmer Sea, which  connects to Remmer Ocean in the north.

You bunch have been traveling east together for a bit, and had just emerged from Haven Woods into Gavton.

JOE:
West and then Northwest of Haven Woods, was the city Joe hailed from; Halton. There, Joe had gotten knighted and received a token that says the Lord of Halton owes Joe a favor. At some point, Joe also found a little human girl by the name of Liberty who wanted to grow up to be a fighter like him. Joe was persuaded to take her in as a squire. Partly because the girl had nowhere else to go.

MITTENS:
Southwest about 30 miles from Haven Woods is a place called Boringville. She doesn't talk about it much, but her tag-along little brother Timothius speaks fondly of it, saying it had perfect weather and was very peaceful. Mittens has a surprising amount of adventuring experience leading up to when she met Joe. But up until then, all her previous teams were suspicious of her at best because of her being a cat person.

ROCKY:
Between Halton and Boringville is the tip of a very large forest that stretches into the western horizon. Although most folk call it the rather unoriginal name of The Great Forest, it contains many fey folk; elves, fairies, satyrs, and others who call it home and have another name for it: Crystal Leaf Forest. Named such because the dew that forms on the leaves sparkle like crystal. Rocky was taught the ways of the druid here, and has known many a fairy, centaur, and wild critter. Though most elves gave Rocky a wide berth. He found a lone half-elf child with hair as long as she is tall. The girl, named Tam Selhana, explained that she has been alone since her father passed away a year ago. Remembering the kindness given him, Rocky took her in. But she is not the only one following Rocky... (By the way, any of your "followers" can be just as intelligent or capable of speech as their human counterpart would have been, if you want)

Back to Gavton, though. A crier comes to the center of town and yells, "Hear ye! Hear ye! Lord Henry of Gavenport is sending out a summons to all adventurers interested in a chance for good coin! Meet at the Gavenport Town Hall in fifteen days hence and learn how you can get this reward!" He repeats the message a few times and then heads towards the local tavern.

Rocky doesn't care that his small group of Tam, Doc, Adrian, and Buzz is probably among the stranger groups seen in Gavton in a while. After all, a group comprised of a Warforged, a Half-elf, an Awakened Shrub, an Awakened Deer, and an Awakened Giant Fire Beetle is a pretty strange sight.

Rocky says to Tam, "Remember, that while a city of any size isn't natural, Nature always finds a way and adapts around it. Keep your eyes open, you'll see signs of wildlife even in a large city. Rodents and birds are the most common. But you'll also find plants growing wherever they can."

The Giant Fire Beetle speaks up, possibly surprising those who hear him, "Don't forget the insects. Insects are all over the place and outnumber mammals, birds, and reptiles by a large amount."

Rocky nods and says, "Buzz is correct. However, the insects in a city tend to be tiny and harder to spot when they aren't underground or inside the walls of a structure." to which Buzz nods.

The deer looks around as Adrian speaks up, "Sorry Doc, you won't find much to graze upon in this area. Just remember I'm off the menu."

Doc seems to chuckle, "I know, but there might be some grass on the sides of the roads I could eat as a snack."

Rocky listens to the town crier and mutters, "I see no reason to not at least hear them out but why inform people fifteen days in advance... Unless he is going to keep repeating that message for the next fifteen days...You'd think they would just post a sign and hope that the adventurers can read. Although for those not from this area, being told where the Town Hall is would be helpful... guess he forgot to mention such things. Oh well, if we are still in the area in fifteen days we should be able to figure it out by following the others interested in hearing the offer. That is if we are still in the area."

Rocky glances around to see how the others respond and to listen to what they and Tam have to say about it since he doesn't expect Adrian, Doc, or Buzz to care much as long as they are kept clear of combat. Not that Rocky would willingly let them be attacked anyways.

  Arming young girls with crossbows is the answer to so many questions.  What if you are attacked by bandits? Crossbow.  Would a level zero NPC even have martial proficiency?  (Light) Crossbow.

  Better mentoring (parenting?) through adequate firepower.

  "Must not be a particularly serious problem, or they would be offering to pay for wagons." Joe, your Kyle is showing.   He looks over to Rocky, and adds "Well, I don't think they would want to hire anyone who can't find town hall on their own." Or were just too cheap to pay for the extra words shouted.

Mittens stands in a heroic pose, her cape billowing in the prestidigitated wind.  "And thus a new opportunity for adventure presented itself to our hero.  What mysterious trouble could be the kind that a Lord would not simply send his guards to deal with?  A neighbor encroaching upon his land that he cannot prove is doing so and to send his own men would be considered an affront to the peace treaty?  Or perhaps an old keep rumored to be the home of some haunt so terrifying that even veteran guards' hearts melt in fear at the thought of confronting it?  We shall soon find out!  For Mittens is not one to wait around 15 days.  Nay!  She is one to ask the town crier directly for details!  And boast that whatever the trouble is, she and her allies are more than capable of handling it without the need for any more invitations for more competition-erm, mercenaries!  Why pay for wagons full of newbies when Mittens' Mercenaries are on the job?!"

A thought occurs to her and she begins to lose heart.  "Ya know on second thought, it could be something as boring as, 'Well due to the upcoming festival my guards are already overworked and we need someone to be guards to the supply caravans.  Guh.  Sure hope it's not something like that!

"If I had a silver for every time I've heard of someone bringing up the topic of eating another person..."

She then begins to mutter to herself, "As much as Mittens' nature would love to argue that there's nothing more unnatural about a city than an ant colony, she's learned enough restraint to know better than to debate with what a druid's nature tells them is or isn't natural.  After all, she'd wind up arguing with herself that that would be like arguing that there's nothing at all unnatural about living above ground to a deep gnome.  Nay, she instead accepts that everyone's nature is to be selective about what they consider unnatural in others.  Even nature itself.  Of all the arbitrary things to forbid her followers as 'unnatural,' metal armor?

"'Nono, Mittens, you've got it all wrong.  There's nothing I consider unnatural about what comes from within the Earth.  Rather, life is a game and the galactic forces of the universe had to find some way to keep one beginning adventurer from being too powerful compared to another.  My druids are pretty over powered as it is without my granting them plate armor.  It would make the other epic beings jealous if their paladins weren't fancy with their shiny armor.  And of course they have their alignment restrictions, but just between you and me I don't think that had anything to do with game-of-life balance and more just image.  I know I wouldn't mind if paladins and cleric were more neutral-minded."

Even as she argues with her hypothetical personification of nature, she's walking swiftly for the tavern the town crier went into.

(( Still on the fence about the familiar. :S  I guess I'll just give in and say that Pyrus is a reflavored Owl that can double as a Bic lighter?  Currently with Timothius. ))
This message was last edited by the GM at 01:27, Sat 29 Sept 2018.

Tam ohs, looking awed by Rocky's words, and smiling as the others join in. She spots a flying squirrel deftly gliding from one rooftop to another. Then spots a fuzzy caterpillar. She restrains herself from picking up the caterpillar since one of the things she learned was that you should always keep in mind the needs of the creature you intend to mess with. Tam smiles at Doc and offers him one of the berries she plucked earlier. "You can have some of my berries for now, if you like."

Tam looks on at the crier and then looks up at Rocky as he speaks. Before she can necessarily comment, Mittens charges onward to the tavern. She smiles with a shrug. "Guess we'll find out soon enough.. and I dunno, Mittens. Cities don't grow out of the ground. So I guess anthills aren't natural either. But ants are. That doesn't mean nature itself can't use it. So it's like Rocky said." she then looks up at Rocky, as if to double-check what she said was accurate.

Liberty did have her crossbow out and pointed down. But upon entering a town, she carefully unloads the crossbow, but stows the bolt on the crossbow's side clip just like Joe showed her, so it will be handy at a moment's notice. "Glad it's not an emergency." is her only comment on the crier.

Timothius trots to keep up with Mittens, but isn't sure what to say since Mittens said so much; she covered that it could be anything or could be nothing, so he can't really comment on that. Tam answered the nature conversation. And Liberty said the one other thing Tim was thinking, so he just quietly enters the tavern with his older sister.

THE TAVERN:

The crier is seen going to the bulletin board to pin up a parchment notice he was carrying. He then heads in the direction of the bar, but can easily be intercepted by Mittens Mecenaries.

The tavern has a normal number of people in it. About a dozen folks are eating and drinking. Three are at the bar (Two humans and a halfling), soon to be four if the crier makes it there. Three are at a table (A brawny human, a half-orc, and some human woman), two are at another table, two at yet another table, one at a booth and one at the corner table. In addition, of course, are the four employees; The bartender, a guy at the piano, and two waitresses.

The one at the booth is a female elf with light blonde hair ( https://tinyurl.com/yc98fg4b ), wearing clerical gown with the symbol of Corellon showing on the chest ( https://tinyurl.com/y98fow3g ).

The guy in the corner looks like so: https://tinyurl.com/y7wylb3x

The others don't seem to be anything more than townsfolk, judging from how they dress.

One of the waitresses is watching Mittens Mercs with anticipation, as if wanting to get to serving them the moment they find a seat.

Doc nods and says, "Thank you, Tam," to her as she offers a berry, which the dear eats.

Rocky nods at the interaction between Tam and Doc but tilts his head at Mittens as the Warforged suspects he'd twitch an eyebrow if he had one at being labeled as part of 'Mittens Mercenaries' without him ever agreeing to such... especially since he finds the name to be rather inappropriate for a group anyways as he and his companions belong to no one and 'Mittens Mercenaries' sounds like the group belongs to Mittens. But the Warforged chalks it up to the strangeness of 'civilized fleshy folk' as he still hasn't figured out why people wear different and often more revealing clothing when they go swimming as he can't think of a job where such clothing is an appropriate uniform.

Never the less, Rocky and his companions follow Mittens into the tavern and look for a place to sit down where he can observe things... as Rocky considers sitting away from Mittens to reinforce that he does not belong to anyone, and neither does Tam, Doc, Adrian, or Buzz.

Rocky turns to Mittens and asks her softly to try to not draw too much attention to himself from everyone else in the tavern, "And since when does a group of individuals traveling together become mercenaries working for you? I know that my companions and myself did not agree to work as your mercenaries. Besides, mercenaries get paid and you have never approached us about such compensation. If you're going to pull names out of thin air, at least come up with ones that aren't self-gratifying at the expense of others. It comes off as childish." Rocky doesn't bother to mention that if he'd been asked he'd have wanted a name for a group to be more natural than egotistical by being named after a member of the group. It's not like he'd suggest that the group be known as Rocky's Roughnecks, although he isn't sure why he suspects Buzz would really not like that name.... must have been based on a story he'd heard at one point. Rocky knows such a name as that would be just as self-gratifying as Mittens Mercenaries... although it could have been worse... Mitten's Minions... Rocky shakes his head slightly as he outgrew such 'childishness' during the first year of his life when he was just starting his druidic studies. Rocky then sighs as he remembers that 'fleshy humanoids' tend to mature slower, so Mittens might be an adolescent for all he knows.
This message had punctuation tweaked by the player at 00:23, Sun 30 Sept 2018.

  Liberty checks her crossbow. Somewhere another mercenary so proud.

  Joe should care about the brand names he is associated with more.  But Mittens Mercenaries is at least an incredibly catchy name that won't become wildly out of date like a hometown theme.

  "Honestly Rocky, it's you putting up with the rest of us stopping to eat every day that's more notable than putting up with name ideas."  Look, photosynthesis counts as eating. Probably.  But One and a half druids (and a magic plant) alongside his own experience means the group hardly ever has to even look at their rations.

  On that subject, he smiles towards the waiting waitress and asks "I'll have what you'd be willing to spend a gold piece on", and looks to Liberty asking "Did you have a preference?" Joe may have gotten proficient (hah) at cooking in their travels, but much of the value in quality food is 'I didn't have to make it myself'.

Through prestidigitation, the message, "Have weapon, will travel," is floating above Mittens' head to make it clear that she's not walking into the tavern with a bunch of armed adults, children, and other things in order to rob the place.  She's kicking herself that her mumblings got overheard by the mini druid, but pretends like she didn't hear the comeback in order to avoid any undue attention to that foible.  Having seen the crier pin the parchment notice, she's making a beeline for said parchment so that when she questions the crier she won't get brushed off with a finger point at the parchment.



Mits' ears wiggle and she grins to Rocky.  "Why, thank you!  No worries about group name, it can be changed.  Two words or less, memorable, gets the point across that we can be lethal to villains without sounding overly threatening, your own personal criterion...  Go!"

Once she's devoured the parchment notice she approaches the town crier.  "Three experienced heroes and their side-kicks are now within earshot.  But just so's you know, we're already financially independent from previous adventures, so these days we're picky about what jobs we take on."

Tam got the approval of her teacher, so she's happy enough. And lack of answer just tells her Mittens either got distracted and wasn't paying attention, or doesn't have a comeback, thus further affirming the girl.

Liberty is actually one of those "horrible cook" anime cliches when it comes to cooking. Joe has an uphill struggle on teaching her on that end. But that doesn't stop her from having food preferences. "Steak and salad please."

Liberty then looks about at the group. "Hmm... a name for our group... Each of us likes the idea of self-sus... the word for being able to take care of yourself without help."

Tam says, "Self-sustaining?"

Liberty smiles and says, "Yeah. That. Um... well lessee... Rocky, Adrian, Buzz, Doc, and Tam are all into nature. Joe's into equal treatment. Mittens is into adventure. Timothius likes caution. I like freedom. To echo what Mittens just said, we could be the Picky Partners. But how about Adventure's Allies?"

Timothius says, "Gosh, that's a nice one, Liberty." he then looks at Rocky  and says, "As you have just found out, Mittens likes childish."

The parchment reads:
Hear ye! Hear ye!
Lord Henry of Gavenport is sending out a summons to all adventurers interested in a chance for good coin! Meet at the Gavenport Town Hall for more details!

The crier faces Mittens. "Ah. I see. It has been my experience that financial independence could simply mean you don't use money because you live under the sky and forage for food in the wilderness. And judging from how many of your apparent group look like animated wilderness, I would say that's why you are financially independent. But what about that wonderful piece of magical gear you always wanted, but was too cost-prohibitive? Assuming you take the job when you hear about it, pay starts at 1,000 gold per participant and just goes up from there."

The group is getting glances from pretty much everyone. Some are staring. One looks scared of Rocky. Another looks scared of Mittens. Nobody seems afraid of Joe or the children. Imagine that.

The waitress is kinda dumbfounded at a deer walking in, but dares not ask this pile of crazies to please leave their deer outside. She looks back at Joe and seems slightly put at ease by his smile. "I, uh... a gold would pay for a full spread of our best for all of you. Soooo... that's what I'll fetch."

Rocky expects the waitress to be even more dumbfounded when the deer, Doc, sits down at the table with the others before politely saying, I'd like a vegetarian salad."

Moments afterward, Buzz, the Giant Fire Beetle sits down next to the deer and says, "I think I'll go with the beef stew. It's been a while since I've had stew."

The 'mobile shrub', Adrian, then moves next to the Giant Fire Beetle and politely says, "I will only want water." which makes sense since the bush is a plant and gets nutrients from sunlight, soil, and water.

Rocky is pleased that his companions are remaining polite as he adds, "I don't require anything." since Warforged can be but don't require food so he sees little point in eating just to eat. However he knows Tam is probably hungry, and he expects Tam to order for herself.

  Adventurers' allies... Would it take off? Or would it be written off as 'takes too long to write'?

  Joe nods to the soon to be overworked(?) waitress "Thank you. Travel means we take advantage of fine service when we can, but hardly give a chance for staff to get used to us." He needed to break his habit of gloomy corner cliche seating anyways, so at least Rocky's walking zoo broke that habit.

  He looks over to the crier, and says "While that does sound good, it would sound better if that were in writing. I'm sure the habit started with the excuse of 'we don't want too many applicants', but it's turned into a poor reputation of down on their luck nobles hoping 'well, now that you're here' will keep interest."

  Some people have even been offering vague titles like 'Hero of Spielberg'.  Nothing probably would have come from that job.

Mittens smiles when Liberty tries her hand at group naming and gives her an approving clap.  Having gotten used to Rocky not eating by now, she need not comment on that.  His loss.  But a walking shrub asking for water never gets old!  XD

She pretends not to notice the person scared of her, but to help ease any nervousness, the "have weapon will travel" sign fades away.  And Mittens gives her lil bro a big cuddle, rubbing cheeks with him to prove just how adorable and harmless magical cat people can be.

"Solid logic, my good sir.  With that magic item, I will be better prepared to rescue people in need.  Please don't take to heart my good friend's jaded reaction that results from our less honest patrons.  I have no doubt that your confidence in the veracity of your Lord's offer is not unfounded.

"Allow me to clarify why I said what I did.  I wanted to know details about the heroic deed that needs done that would warrant such a large reward.  And I wanted you to know that the saving of lives is my top priority."

(( Oh thank goodness this isn't vanilla 5e "why would we bother helping GMs or players with a magic item economy?" world. ))

Tam orders veggie stew and water with a side of pork.
Timothius orders beef stew and some bread.

The waitress curtsies politely and rushes off to get the orders.

The crier says, "Beyond what you know at this point, the only other details I know is how to get to the town hall. Lord Henry is keeping it confidential. Likely because he doesn't want to clue anyone in on something before he has a chance to take advantage of it. Suppose he was hiring adventurers to find a rumored gold mine. Other Lords would immediately take notice and race to be the first to hire people to find it. But that is only a hypothetical. I have no idea what he is keeping secret."

He turns to Joe and shrugs. "I'm just the messenger. Adding to what was written could land me in jail for falsifying records and putting words in the mouth of Lord Henry. I certainly don't pretend to understand politics or what affects Lord Henry's reputation. But I can tell you it isn't his habit to exclude the pay, it is merely how this writ was designed. And once the job is accepted, there will be writing involved on both parties."

Doc, Buzz, and Adrian wait for their orders to be filled after the waitress takes all of the orders.

Rocky glances around and ponders what Lord Henry's request will be... as he knows he'll reject it if it is something along the lines of exterminating a sentient species in the forest so the trees can be logged until the forest is no more. Although the warforged honestly doubts that to be the case, with lords that get greedy you never know. Rocky does wonder if that reward would be per person, or split amongst the group. If it is per person, then it will be amusing to find out what Doc, Buzz, and Adrian would want with their rewards.

  "A bunch of adventurers not vanishing in the general area would be good for their reputation, so let's hope it stays that way to go along with their habit of pleasing Dol Dorn." I need you to loot a completely harmless and horror free tomb. Yes, I know that's oddly specific.

  Joe is also amazed at how often bar fights seem to happen, given the average upper arm strength of the serving staff.

Timothius cuddles didn't result in a bar fight!  Score one for Mittens!

"What does a race to a gold mine or excluding pay details have to do with vanishing adventurers or Dol Dorn's approval?  And people accuse Mittens of being random."

Mits offers to pay for the crier's drink as thanks for the info.  "Thanks for the info!  'Confidential' is more than was known moments ago, and the speculation is helpful too.  In the absence of any emergencies popping up, we'll likely be answering the call.  So may as well get those directions to Town Hall from you as well.  Anything else we should know about the local goings-on?  'Don't drink the Dragon's Breath at The Aces and Eights Tavern, one sip could drop an ogre,' for example."
This message was last edited by the GM at 07:34, Fri 05 Oct 2018.

The crier shrugs. "I'm not from this town, honestly. I live in the eastern district of Gavenport, but I'll tell you what I know. The people here in Gavton are friendly and accommodating. It's a good place if passing through, and rather welcoming to anyone wanting to find a more permanent home here, but Gavton relatively boring for adventurers since it is usually peaceful. There's some kind of history on the Town Bell, but nobody can agree on it. The stories range from it being a gift from the fairies to it being forged by a dwarf in the southeast mountains." He then gives directions to Gavenport's Town Hall. "There is no need to dress up... if anything, coming geared up as you would for any of the quests you normally take on would be better because you would be communicating that you are ready for the job. Lord Henry's a practical guy."

Liberty looks over to Rocky from her seat. "Hey Rocky. You ever curious what eating is like?"

Timothius is still purring from the cuddle earlier and leans against Mitts.

Tam looks at Joe when Mittens asks him what he meant. Looks like she's just as confused.

(Gavton is a standard town and Gavenport is a standard port city. Neither have quests available aside from the one announced by Lord Henry. I can skip to the Town Hall meeting if you guys like. What do you guys wanna do in the 15 days before then?)

Rocky turns to Liberty and shakes his head, "Not particularly. I am capable of ingesting food or liquids, but I don't draw nourishment from them. Otherwise, I would not be able to use a healing potion. When the Warforged race was designed, such a flaw of being unable to use the common healing potion would be an issue they would have resolved before the first of my species was created."

(OOC I have no issue with a time skip. Rocky would spend the time teaching Tam. The lessons would probably include having Rocky working on herbalism based potions or resource gathering in the area to produce components. The potion or components could be sold if not needed so that they don't run short on funds for himself, Tam, Adrian, Buzz, and Doc since it doesn't hurt to make sure your not using up cash reserves while waiting for a quest..)

  "People he hires returning alive is good for his reputation, duh.  Also paying your tab is right up there with sports and war to Dol Dorn."

  Meanwhile with the fluffy cats doing their fluffy thing, Joe takes comfort in the fact he is not the least adorable party member... Wait, is he supposed to be upset about being medium adorable?

  OOC: Unless people need the extra time, I'm good for travel fast forward.

  Joe's questionable decisions. Trying to teach a small girl to cook better. Making food for her and eating the food she makes clearly won't lead to ANY guilt.

  Joe's responsible decisions.  Trying to teach a girl what everyone from adventurers to skeletons to bandits take for granted so hard even the worst of GMs never remember to call you on it.  Instinctively knowing your weapon's effective range.
This message was last edited by the player at 03:34, Sat 06 Oct 2018.

"Mittens is pleased to hear that Lord Henry is practical when it comes to attire."

Eeeveryone has some impracticality in them, but Mits isn't about to get into a nitpick about "Just because he's practical about one specific thing doesn't make him a practical guy.  Or vice versa."

Mits takes notes in her scrapbook in her Joe section...

* Not including details about pay proves that you pay your tab.
 -> Therefore Dol Dorn supports secret pay scales.  And sports.
 -> Therefore the mystery of how judges figure out who won a close boxing match is holy.
* Lack of details on a quest is directly connected with kidnapping.
 -> Verify with commoners how many of them actually care when adventurers go missing.

Under Rocky...
* When creating a new race, be sure to include the ability to benefit from magical consumables to avoid their criticism.
 -> Ability to enjoy yummy food not important.
 (Note to self.  Work on ability to pretend that Liberty makes palatable dishes.)

Under Timothius...
* Cuddles reliably start purr engine.
 -> Purr engine has heavy flywheel and will continue long after cuddles discontinued.
 -> Continued evidence that cuteness is directly connected with trustworthiness.

Mits gives her bro another hug.  :3

"That bell sure sounds neato!  I'll be sure to check it out soon as I can.  Thanks again!"

As soon as everyone's done noms, Mits will discreetly let the group know she has no intention of waiting 15 days to be seen by Lord Henry and will try to get an audience that very day!

(( EDIT: I've thought about the "how do they know that they're exactly within range?"  Especially at the longer distances.  And excused it with, "Eh.  It's a game.  And judging distance was a pretty basic skill of any hunter before range finders were invented if anyone needs proof of 'Realism.'" ))
This message was last edited by the GM at 04:23, Sat 06 Oct 2018.

(Fast-forwarding then)

When the group left Gavton, they were only delayed by the occasional townsfolk who wanted them to stay simply because the group is such a novelty. But most townsfolk were nervous and are relieved to see the adventurers head to Gavenport.

When the group arrives in Gavenport, they are stopped by the gate guards and questioned, but eventually allowed in. The group gets a lot of stares and one man even throws away his booze, thinking he is so drunk he is seeing things. Eventually, guards come and accompany the group, saying that people are getting scared and having guards with the group will calm most of the city's people.

The group arrives at Gavenport's Town Hall and after some asking / insisting, they are granted audience with Lord Henry. Who has a most pleased look on his face upon seeing the team. "Welcome! Welcome!" he says jovially. His voice seems to have a naturally high volume and carries through the room with ease. "I was hoping someone would take initiative! And my goodness you bunch have several exotic people among you!"

He claps his hands together and says, "Now let's get down to business! The task I have in mind for you all to do is recruitment. But before you dismiss it as a mundane task unworthy of your attention, I expect you bunch to make sure any potential recruits live up to your standards by taking each potential recruit with you on any quests you find in the places I'll be sending you! So, in a sense, I am hiring you all to do what you would be doing anyway, but with the added stipulation that you take potential adventurers with you on the tasks you would have been doing."

He hops out of his seat excitedly and trots over to a table with a map on it. "I have multiple locations marked down on this map, as you can see. There, you will track down and test out any rumored potential adventurers."

He looks like he is barely containing his excitement. Like a kid in a toy store.

Pretty much looks like this:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals...1990e47b0f26add8.png

Rocky observes Lord Henry and quietly thinks to himself, 'this could be to create a large group of powerful individuals who can help the people... Or this could be the man's way to identify everyone who could oppose him and then ambush those people when the time is right as part of some hostile takeover of adjacent lands and turning the city into a throne of tyranny. Or he could be wanting the adventurers to become his army to wage conquest on neighboring areas... or one of a hundred other possibilities. Humans are so hard to predict when actions can be interpreted in so many ways... Time will tell what his true motives are. This place doesn't feel very in tune with nature, but then again no city does.'

Buzz, Doc, and Adrian remain silent while listening to the conversation going on around them.

  The main reason  Joe would not expect such duplicity is because it's the fast track to ending your own rule to try such a dumb plan as 'find as many low level heroes as possible, then do bad things'.

  "Do you know anything about them other than location?" Joe eyes the map, he should recognize the destinations. Or at least have no problems getting to them.

Mits was having fun with the mixed notoriety on the way.  Kinda nostalgic for those days when she and Timothius first ventured from that hometown we don't talk about.  Much the same reaction as back then, only now it's more severe that she hangs out with cyber captain planet and the shrubeteers.

She gladly hands out autographed cat ear headbands to her fans, reminding them, "Yes we are indeed the same Mittens and Timothius who took down the Green Fist bandit gang.  And now that we've teamed up with these fine people, we're the same that ended the Antler Horror's reign of terror!"

Fun times.  On to the scene with Lord Henry.

Mits writes in her journal, dictating aloud as she does.  "Upon meeting with Lord Henry Himself, Mittens' already high opinion of the man improved all the more.  Sure, there was the expected level of refinement and culture from a highborn man who commands so important a city, from the exquisite taste in decor to the finely tailored attire.  But the unexpected details were what were really impressive.  A sunshine smile like that of a cousin seeing their dearly missed Timothius for the first time since the last birthday.  And genuine eyes to match.  The eager and resonant voice that, while delivering eloquent words, avoided, nay eschewed even the least hint of a haughty air.  What sort of singular man was this?  Certainly not at all the same as any nobility Mittens has encountered before."

Mits taps the fluff of her quill against her cheek, as if thinking then addresses Lord Henry.  "So lemme guess.  You've decided to abdicate to a trusted friend to chase your life-long dream of becoming an adventurer?  Well you're in luck!  You'll be hard pressed to find a more honest and noble group of adventurers as my companions without somehow diving into the fantasy world of a storybook.  By joining us, you needn't worry yourself with what might happen to your share of the treasure as you sleep off the fatigue of your shift of the nightly watch.  And moreover, each one here is experienced enough to not flinch when deadly danger presents itself.  Ever hear word of the Antler Horror of Haven Woods?  We're the same who faced that abomination and ended it's reign of terror!  What sort of combat skill do you have?"

Lord Henry answers Joe first, "I only know bits and pieces. You're actually part of my getting to know these fine folk! But what I know shall be yours, since you're taking up the quest."

Lord Henry hands a piece of parchment to Joe.

He then turns to Mittens with a twinkle in his eye. "You are quite correct about my motivation and desires! And yes, I have heard of the Green Fist and the Antler Horror! I didn't dare to hope you were the same kitty heroes who took down the Green Fist and then worked alongside the self-aware construct to face the Antler Horror... but now that it is confirmed, may I take this moment to say what an honor it is to meet such wonderful heroes! The lot of you!"

The kids are blushing, but seem to have proud smiles, looking up at their heroes; Liberty looking to Joe, Tam looking to Rocky, and Timothius looking to Mittens.


This message was last edited by the GM at 00:41, Thu 11 Oct 2018.

Rocky nods to Lord Henry when he is mentioned dealing with the Antler Horror. Rocky remembers dealing with the monstrosity that was the Antler Horror alongside Joe and Mittens but doesn't speak much about the event as he's never felt the need to do so. he figured it would come up once Tam was ready to face such threats as an example both of the type of unnatural threats to the world and that you can't deal with everything on your own.

The warforged glances at the list again before saying, "Even if you remove us from this list, it would take white a while to work our way through this list. It would probably be best to compare the locations to a map to plot out the shortest route to meet with the people on this list to avoid backtracking." Rocky glances to Joe and asks, "I'm guessing your already starting to do that, given how you are with maps."

  'Knocked out a guard and got away with it' stands out more than 'slew a dragon' (I don't have skewed priorities, YOU have skewed priorities!).  The Mysterious helper clearly isn't Maverick because there is nothing mysterious about stabbing evil.

  "It was a lot more deer than antler, but at least that made it less pointy." See previous comment about priorities.

  He nods to Rocky, "Yes. Turns out the frequency of incredibly similar town names catches more people off guard than traversing unmarked wilderness." Harloton, legally distinct from Charlston.

Turns out Newertown was founded before Newtown, making its namesake a lie!  Dun dun duuun!

"Mittens can recount the entire saga with a puppet show as we travel.  Good to hear that you're so enthused about becoming and adventurer.  A strong motivation is the number one ingredient to what makes for a great hero!  So you needn't be embarrassed about a lack of combat skill.  That can be learned.  Motivation is much harder to willfully acquire.

"So lead the way, Joe!  We've an adventure to start!"

Lord Henry says, "The choice of where to go is yours, friends! But do please inform me so that if other adventurers show interest, I won't direct them someplace you are already going. So please write me with information on where you are going and about how long you figure it will take you to get there. Actually, if there are any on this list you are not interested in at all, that would be helpful. But at least I know I can cross YOU all off the list!"

(Feel free to time skip yourselves if you wish. The plot hook is sprung. It is up to you, the players, to choose where to go. You can opt to RP the travel to the place, or handwave you had a few encounters on the way but not go into detail, or simply skip travel entirely. I have no preference.)

Rocky doesn't have any issues with the various places on the list although he does fill in the 'missing' information about himself filling his name in as Rocky, clarifying that his race is Warforged and that he views himself as male. He also marks a note that he's part of the team. Rocky then hands the list over to the others in the group so they can 'cross themselves off the list'.

Rocky turns to Joe and says, "I think we should take the route that would cover the most places in the least amount of time. Since your best with maps, which locations would that cover? And are there any spots we'd miss unless we really went out of our way?"

(OOC Don't have an issue with a time skip or not, Rocky is responding to Lord Henry's request about marking themselves off the list and deferring to Joe's expertise in traveling with his knowledge of maps to figure out the order in which to go places.)

  It's a good thing Joe the character is much better at such navigations than his player.  "Unless things change, we'll probably be hitting all the listings within 30 miles."

  Skipping Jamie would probably be meanspirited, and also tempting fate that the first entry on the list being suspiciously boring is some kind of test.  So Glimmerville it is unless Haralton ends up somehow being the most efficient first stop.

  OOC: I'm good for whatever people would prefer.  Though at least some skip would assumedly, let is get to the alt-o-thon faster.

Mits proceeds to add "Side-kicks" to each of the entries when handed the list then fills in the names for Timothius, etc.  Then adds a line to her own entry, "Self-gratified Leader of Mittens' Unpaid Mercenaries."  Then signs it with a cat face emoji ( this with pigtails: http://rlv.zcache.com/cute_cat..._vgbaq_8byvr_512.jpg )  Then copies down the other people into her scrap book.  Then finally hands the list back to Lord Henry.

"Was under the impression you'd be joining us.  But I suppose transitioning into a new career is no simple matter.

"Assuming we can find these individuals quickly, we may have most of this list done before the announced 15 days are up.  Especially if you're willing to loan us transportation.

"Now I heard that the pay was going to be 1,000 gold each.  I'm guessing that was assuming that each who took on this quest would individually take on one item on your list.  Ever since the Antler Horror, we've traveled together for practical reasons.  And although it would be swifter to split up for this mission, I'm guessing my team will agree that it'll be much wiser to travel as a group even in the absence of any indication that we'll be ambushed along the way.  Adventuring will hone one's appreciation for the buddy system.

"All that said, I'm guessing you'd consider it unfair if we were to ask for 2,000 gold each right now for each having presented you with the other two.  And I'm guessing my friends would consider it unfair as well.  As would be insisting that our group get 3,000 gold per line item.  So I propose that 1,000 per line item be awarded the group.  Less the aforementioned three adventurers already here in the flesh."

(( Mits is fine with skipping forward.  Just including the bit about reward since she was curious about the vague, 1,000 gold each and maybe more???  Which can easily be narratively explained without slowing down story. ))

Lord Henry explains payment (It has been edited into the Lord Henry's Parchment thread)
He also explains he cannot leave. As Lord of Gavenport, he must stay and govern the city. On top of that, he has to be here for other adventurers who want to take him up on his quest.

Timothius watches Mitts' edit and says, "That brings up a question..." he looks at the others. "Does everyone wanna go with Adventure's Allies like Liberty suggested? Or do you all have another name for our group?"

Tam idly pets Buzz during the visit with Lord Henry. To Tim's question, she says, "I like it. But I will go with whatever the group decides."

Liberty doesn't feel she should vote since it was the name she came up with. So it is obvious she votes for it.

Lord Henry chuckles from Mittens' ramble. "You are quite correct, you silly goose! If we took that logic, then you should pay me for finding you! And then I should pay everyone you ever met for finding you! Nay. Once they enter this office, they are no longer eligible for people to 'find' as per the list. To get paid for finding each other, you would have had to have only one of you enter, accept the quest, leave, 'find' the others, and bring them to me. But for your honesty in not deceiving me, I will have a reward for you when you return!"

FAST FORWARD!

The bunch of you arrive in Glimmerville! It is only a few miles north of Gavenport and uses the same lake. The town is large for a town, but not large enough to be a city. It has a couple large buildings and is a bit bustling for a town. But it is still only
about 200 yards from one end of town to the other.

As the group gets close enough for people to see them, people give the usual reactions of shock, awe, or fear. A male human who looks like he might be with the town guard walks towards the group, looking cautious. Unlike a normal guard, he carries a heavy-bladed spear. He has blond hair, cyan eyes, and looks like he is in his late teens at most. His armor is green (though still made of metal).

He holds his hand forward in the universal sign for stop and speaks in a gentle tone, "Please come no closer. The part of town behind me is closed off for the time being. My name is Jamie. May I ask the nature of your business here?"

Rocky glances at the others as stands near Buzz and Doc with Adrian being near Tam. Rocky presumes that the Jamie is now the head of the town guard from his better equipment, possibly a reward for driving off the bullies. Rocky answers Jamie with, "We are here on request from Lord Henry. We actually came here to speak with you. Mittens can explain further." as Rocky points to Mittens.

Rocky then turns to the others and asks, "Think that resolving the situation that has part of the town closed off would be a suitable test?"

  Now to stuff him in a sack and bring them to Lord Henry-Wait, no.

  "Somebody heard you were cool, and wants to confirm if that's true or not."

  If they solve the town's problems for Jamie, would that disqualify Jamie?

Mits' eyes go wide in amazement and she stares in awe.

"Oooh.  Such pretty eyes!  Are you related to an Aasimar or something?  Ohright.  Explanation."

She recounts the story in as succinct a manner as she can muster... which includes information about how cuteness equals trustworthiness.

"And by the way I appreciate the politeness you've afforded us thus far."

Jamie raises an eyebrow at Rocky mentioning Lord Henry, double-takes at Joe's comment about Jamie being potentially cool, but then blushes at the sudden straight-forward compliment from Mittens.

Tam hops up and down and says, "We were told you're a hero."

Liberty then looks up at Rocky and says, "Test or not, we should help anyway."

Tam looks at Liberty and says, "Rocky knows that... but we might not be allowed to help."

Jamie waves to catch attention, looks at Mittens, and says, "My father taught me: If you want respect, you show it first. I've found it to be true in most cases. And... thanks."

He then looks at the group as a whole. "There are many reasons a part of town might be closed off to visitors, but you are right that in this case, it is because there is a problem. Unusual though you all may be, what strikes me most is your willingness to help. So allow me to fill you in on what the problem is and if you are still serious about aiding in solving the current issue, then I will have you walk with me back to that part of town."

He pauses, then says, "There have been mysterious attacks at night. They generally come from inside a room with no sign of forced entry, but there are reports of a few attacks outdoors as well. We don't have enough men to post watch inside everyone's rooms and the attacks seem to never happen around the guards. Nobody has witnessed what the attackers *look* like, but whatever the attackers are, they leave claw marks on their victims and have yet to deal any permanent injury. That is all we know."

He looks the group over. "So. You still want to help?"

Rocky nods and says, "We will help." Rocky considers what Jamie has said and asks the group as he voices his suspicions about the attacker,  "The attacker may have the ability to pass through walls through teleportation or being either incorporeal or ethereal. Then again there is also a possibility of charms are the source of entry but unlikely since if it was, then wouldn't the victims know more about the attacker. Or is there a form of charm that wipes a person's recent memories?"

  Hmm. Ghosts, nature, or BOTH?

  "Rocky, Tam. I don't suppose either of you might be able to tell what would have made the claw marks on these people if you saw them?" Look Joe may be able to serve a griffon up as a six star dinner, but that doesn't mean he can tell it's claw marks from an owlbear's so good.

  He looks back to Jamie.  "Does anyone in town strike you as the sort to anger a vengeful mystic or spirit, but be too stubborn or embarrassed to ever admit such a thing?"

Mits ponders the give respect first in order to gain it concept and tries to recall any evidence pointing to how valid that's been for the walking talking shrub.

"Well I suppose 'give disrespect and you can expect the same in return' is just as true.

"As for our culprit, let's not dismiss the possibility that our culprit is no more fantastical than a malevolent prankster with skill in picking locks and some alchemical means of silently knocking out victims before scratching them with some animal claw they bought at the knickknack store.

"What am I saying!?  Mittens should never suggest something so un-dramatic!  Clearly this is the work of an Attic Whisperer out for revenge!"

Tam answers Joe, "I dunno if I could or not. I know some animals and their claw marks, but Rocky knows more."

Jamie gets a smile of relief on his face as the heroes agree to help and immediately get to theories. Strange though they may appear on the outside, they look like heroes to Jamie on the inside.

He begins walking with them back towards town, then answers Joe, "Well yes. But to be honest, wouldn't that describe most people in the world?"

Rocky says, "Well I can certainly attempt to identify the creature that made the claw marks or at least try to determine if it was a natural creature or some sort of unnatural monstrosity or aberration. I doubt it would be an undead at this point. Undead tend to be more gruesome in what they do to victims."

Adrian, Buzz, and Doc keep quiet since there is little they can contribute to the conversation at this time.

  Joe's training(?) of Liberty comes with the important life lessons of 'Considered anime as **** by association'.

  "I figure most people would also be selfish enough to realize that if they don't tell anyone, the eventual lynch mod will make them wish the monster got them.  So with the raw number of victims you have, a local being involved would be someone particularly stubborn, or they are the one making the attacks personally.

Mittens puts up her prestidigitated sign again, though this time it read, "Adventure's Allies."

"Well yeah.  There was the story of the guy plagued with violent nightmares who'd blank out then wake up naked and near a mutilated cow.  He was a werewolf, but dismissed it as bad dreams resulting from too much drinking.

"But then there's the other tale of the guy who was just passing through trying to get away from his crazy ex wife, daughter of some noble with influence in the region.  When the locals questioned him and he dodged the questions for fear of his ex's dad no matter how hard they pressed, they assumed he was the werewolf and shanked him to death with all the silverware they could get their hands on.  Sometimes people are afraid to talk because of the potential for lynch mobs.  'Well yeah I know that my cousin's the culprit, but if I tell anyone the town will kill me too because any blood relative of the culprit is clearly an abomination that must be killed with fire.'

"Hence why problems like these can go on for months or even years before adventurers come along and catch the badguy."

Because adventurers have no qualms with breaking and entering and looting everything not nailed down so the mayor's wife screams at the unexpected intrusion into the manor, gets shot with a magic missile, transforms into a werewolf, and the adventurers are praised as heroes when they 'defend themselves' from the 'monster.'  In catfolk aren't to be trusted world, mommy cat tells little Mittens bedtime stories about the adventurers that'll getcha if you're not a good little kitten.  Not that Mittens will ever admit to being raised on the notion that Humans are monsters.

"And it's stories like these that catfolk will point to to prove that Humans are monsters you should never trust."

Welp.
This message was last edited by the GM at 04:27, Tue 06 Nov 2018.

Liberty says, "Don't know if you noticed, but Joe and I are humans, Mittens. Are you saying you don't trust us?"

Timothius says, "Of course she isn't saying that, Liberty. She's just saying that's what many catfolk would say."

Jamie looks over at Mittens, then back to the road and says calmly, "Racism is for those who don't want to take responsibility for their own monstrous behaviors. Everyone is capable of being a monster, whether you are a human or a catfolk. And everyone has the potential of being a hero. And those who say to never trust one race may some day find their lives depend on it, but would sooner die. Which is foolish since that is like saying you would rather die than be killed."

Tam thinks about racism and how it applies to the more fell creatures. How far does redemption go? Are monsters ever capable of being not-monstrous?

Jamie waves to a villager, beckoning him over. "Jarl! C'mere! I have some nature experts who want a look at your scratches!"

A bearded man walks over to the group and displays the scratch marks on his forearm. To Rocky, they look canine in nature.

Rocky knows there are exceptions to the norm and adds to Jamie's comment, "Just as anyone can be a monster, not all those we could call monsters are monstrous. I have heard of a creature called the cuddle monster that is harmless. Although that might have just been someone's nickname for a pet kitten... I'm not sure."

Rocky then turns and inspects Jarl's scratches saying, "They look canine but it would be difficult to determine the exact species. As the attacks haven't been restricted to nights of a full moon we can rule out werewolves."

  Joe wouldn't be surprised if lycanthropes can sprout claws whenever they want, but is too lazy to roll the metaphorical dice in his memory to check.

  "It's also better for business, Gold is gold regardless of who is holding the coin purse.  Would probably be faster to appeal to that across the land, rather than manners."

"Faster, yes.  Also more expensive.  I like the 'cuddle monster' idea.  C'mere, Liberty!"

Mits rawrs and reaches to cuddle the girl.

To Jarl she adds, "We haven't ruled out the un-natural entirely.  Was there anything else about the attack that might be distinctive?  A gust of wind?  Ghostly giggles?  The sudden smell of a damp cellar?  Or maybe the taste of copper in your mouth?"

Tam giggles when Rocky mentions the cuddle-monster kitten.

Then Mittens rawrs and glomps Liberty who squeals and giggles, "No-hohoho!" the big smile on her face betraying that her objection is fake.

Tam copies Mittens and glomps Rocky. "People just call cuddly things cuddle-monsters sometimes. It isn't a real monster." she explains.

Timothius just smiles at the sight. He thinks about giving Joe a hug, but feels he hasn't earned enough camaraderie with the man yet and might be seen as - oh screw appearances. He glomps Joe and says, "Rawr!"

Jarl answers Mittens, "A sound. For just a second, I thought I heard a quiet growl." he glances at the children and frowns. "This isn't a joking matter!" he says in a scalding tone.

Jamie says, "Jarl, calm yourself. They are children and are here with these adventurers to help. That already puts them braver than most of this town and probably more helpful."

He then looks at the group, "A couple reports are consistent with that. But I hadn't thought to ask such a question, so I don't know if it is the case for every incident."

Rocky's only reaction to Tam 'glomping' Rocky is to shift his weight to keep his balance as he tilts his head at Tam's explanation.

Rocky then turns to Jarl and says, "A quiet growl being associated with the attacks would be consistent with canine activities. But there are a number of reasons why a canine would issue a soft growl as opposed to a bark or howl..." Rocky turns to Jamie with Tam still glomping the Warforged as he continues, "A map of where all the attacks occurred in relation to each other might help reveal a pattern. It may be possible to limit the search area for where a possible den for the creature is located."

  "So many things try to kill adventurers, that tone jarring amounts of levity is taken whenever possible."

  Joe somehow manages to keep a straight face as a fluffy catboy hangs off him.  "Like so.  Also much easier to deal with than screaming civilians clinging to my arm while I try to shoot zombies."

"Cuddle Monster so happy that glomp dispels suspected racism."

Soo many retorts Mittens wants to voice to "This isn't a joking matter:"  "Your FACE is a joking matter." or, "How is a cuddle monster not a joking matter?" or, "I have yet to hear a single matter that hasn't been made into a joking matter.  Did you hear the one about how to kill a poor widow?..." or even, "What else isn't a joking matter is our fee for dealing with this matter."

But to object more to the huffy villager that's already been so handily shot down would be to revive a dead topic.

"I'm getting the distinct impression that this is all a pixie's practical joke.  If it were truly nefarious, we'd have corpses piling up by now.  I won't be surprised if we discover that there's a lumber mill in this neighborhood that's run by an obstinate man who's especially disrespectful of nature and fey."

Timothius is easily intimidated by the barking adult and hides behind Joe immediately. But he watches in some awe as Jamie stands up for the "outsiders" to one of his own townsfolk. (This guy is lucky this isn't the Scales of War Timothius. Or any version of Raichel, for that matter.)

Liberty turns with fury in her eyes at the man and looks like she was gonna tear into him. She barely contains herself long enough to watch the example Joe gives, closes her eyes, and turns her back to Jarl, and takes a few deep breaths. The adults are handling this conversation like adults and Jarl did only use words. Lib seems to be calming down.

Tam looks disappointed at Rocky's lack of reaction to her, and looks at Adrian, Doc, and Buzz. She goes to give them each hugs. Both so they won't feel jealous, and to gauge how each of them would react to it. "Love may be light-of-heart, but it is no joke." she comments to Jarl with a soft smile.

Jarl is unimpressed with anything anyone said. But doesn't have comebacks either.

Jamie shrugs. "Town's too small for a map. I could walk you around the whole town in under half an hour. The attacks have happened almost everywhere in the residential area. Even the church. Admittedly, that was the attack that really freaked everyone... if you aren't safe in a church, where can you be safe? The only areas the attacks have not happened is where you were entering town, and that is probably because it is the shopping area, so... during the day, too many people are there to bother with an attack, and at night, there is nobody there to attack."

Rocky asks, "And there have been no signs of the attacker around any of the sites? For example, no footprints found in dirt or mud. No fur or fragments of a tooth or claw stuck to anything. Just the wounds on victims? This isn't much to go on and we have little information on how to try to lure the attacker into an ambush." Rocky is confused by this at it would seem to be some form of incorporeal canine but doesn't feel that is right.

Adrian responds to Tam's hug by saying, "Don't feel disappointed in a lack of reaction from Rocky, he's a bit preoccupied at the moment. Although remember to be careful of my branches."

Doc nuzzles Tam after being hugged as he says, "I'd hug you back, but I don't have the limbs to do so."

Buzz reacts to Tam's hugging by glowing a bit brighter for a moment but he doesn't say anything as he looks around pondering if there is a threat nearby given how stealthy the attacker seems to be.

  Times like this Joe does wish he wasn't superficially a ranger at a glance so he could offer more than 'shoot it with arrows? Forage snacks?'.

  Hah, shows what he knows.  Nature is INT in this edition.

  "It would be a much more kind world if 'incompetent monster' was ever a likely suspect, yes." World's worst wererat gang, for example.  But the party Driud has already ruled out attempted lycanthropy infection.

OOC: See that carebares! Apathy IS a useful skill for teenagers!  Liberty would have suplexed that man in half... Oh no, the Carebears were right all along! We could have seen Liberty suplex a man in half!

Mits smiles at the adorableness.

"Mittens is guessing that the lack of 'well now that you mention it' is confirmation that this town doesn't have any especially nature-defiling citizens.  Which doesn't preclude my hunch, but I was hoping for a simple 'ahah' to go on.  At this point, there's little left but to investigate the sites of the attacks to see if we find any clues.  Starting with the church since it's the most recent.  Would you be so kind as to lead the way, sir?"

(( Player is unsure if the character can have the option to track by scent, but a member of the team with that ability could be really handy at this point. ))

(Seth says Rocky can wildshape for scent. And since there is apparently no other way to have scent, I'm gonna say no to Mitts/Timothius having the scent ability.)

Tam gives Adrian's branches a gentle slide of her finger with a smile, as if to assure without words that she won't harm Adrian's branches. "Thanks for the sentiment, Doc." she responds to the limbless hug comment.

Jamie leads the bunch to the church. It is a church of Eldath, goddess of peace. "Have at it."

The group finds the same clues they were told. No sign in the church of there having been an altercation of any kind.

Timothius suggests what Mittens was thinking, "Maybe we could search for a scent?"

Rocky nods and says, "That is doable. I can turn into a Brown Bear or a Tiger and sniff out a scent. The Bear is able to climb and is a more reliable attacker in a fight, but the Tiger is better at stealth and can see better in the dark. Although once I wildshape I'd probably remain in that form until I need to turn back for one reason or another so if I find a scent to follow I'll point in that direction and make motions for you all to follow me. And we'll see where the scent would lead us." Rocky waits to hear back what the others think in regards to which form he should take since he isn't sure if the group wants to try a stealthy approach or just go in and wreck stuff.

Buzz, Doc, and Adrian remain quiet since they don't have anything to say regarding this situation.

(OOC: In 5e Scent is pretty much called Keen smell and is auto-advantage on perception checks using that sense. In both forms, Rocky would have a survival check of +5 for tracking and a perception check of +7 with advantage. The Tiger form gets a +6 for stealth though, but the bear has a higher to hit attack roll by +1 and does more damage per hit and has multiattack, but the tiger has darkvision and can pounce. So both could be useful. They are both at the upper limit of what forms Rocky can take at CR 1 and have the same AC and similar hit points.

  See, this is part of why Joe is a Fighter instead of a Ranger.  So he can pretend to be surprised by nature facts viewed through the lens of game mechanics.  Most animals have no real sense of smell, DC20 lore check to know cave bears live in caves, the usual.

  "Given stealth is no good if you have no idea where you want to sneak, go for the convenient tracking." that and it's a coin flip if any stealth would be ruined by townsfolk screaming 'It's a kitty! I want to pet the kitty!'

  ...Joe's company has apparently skewed his initial thoughts on how people would react to a tiger.

"An excellent suggestion," Mittens commends Timothius.

"My pick would be tiger.  Not that I think we should let our guard down at all, but I'm expecting that bear would be overkill in the inevitable fight at the end of all this.  And I'm also expecting that stealth and perception will be more useful for finding our elusive quarry."

Mystery prankster:  There's a bear in town?!  Best to just steer clear of town till it goes away.

Mits proceeds to do arcana junk to try and find any tell-tale magical stuff lingering in the area.

Meanwhile she also nudges Timothius and suggests, "Maybe you could pray to this church's deity for some divine guidance."

Timothius blushes, ears ducking down. "I don't think one prayer from a stranger, a kid at that, is going to make a difference where the residents' heart-felt prayers have already been made..."

Mittens' arcana checking gives her the fact there is residual magic in the area as if a spell had been cast.

Liberty says, "Great. So Joe says go with Bear. Mittens says go with Tiger. Looks like it'll be completely your call, Rocky. But if it were my vote, I'd say bear because overkill is just in my nature. I'm not a stealthy kind of person."

Tam says, "I think both options have merit. Joe and Mittens both have good points."

Rocky nods and says, "Then I'll go with the brown bear." Rocky's body then 'transforms' into a Brown Bear and he starts sniffing around the area trying to find a clue.

Buzz, Doc, and Adrian stay back and out of the way since they can't really help with what is going on and wouldn't be of use in a fight.

  Clearly Timothius still has an NPC's mindset to not expect slightly better results than desk clerk grade clerics... Okay yes, they are an NPC so that could take a while.

  Joe settles in to look uncharacteristically bored about following a bear.  The only thing more effective than looking like you know what you are doing.

Mittens is also not freaking out about the bear in the room.  Why would she?  This isn't the first time she's seen a sentient construct transform into a hulking animal...  Doesn't mean it's not still amazing.

"As expected, I sense there was magic used here.  Nothing extremely powerful."

She reaches to give her lil bro a loving pet.  "Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  And in this case, 'tis a small risk with a potentially great reward.  Who knows?  Perhaps it'll be your earnest little prayer that is the last straw that breaks the barrier to the heavens, opening the floodgates for all those other heartfelt prayers to go rushing to their destination, no longer hindered by the malignant magical muting spell that was cast upon this place!"

The people in town do give Rocky a lot of LOOKS, but seeing him surrounded by cat people, a couple humans, a half elf, a DEER, a giant bug and a walking shrub... ALONG with Jamie... the people of town seem more weirded out and curious than troubled. Joe acting bored *rather* than knowing what he's doing? Probably more likely it keeps the curiosity seekers from bothering the team than anything at this point.

Timothius relents to what Mittens said and once in the church, he prays.

Liberty at first tries to sniff around to see if she can help Rocky with tracking by scent, but then shrugs and joins Timothius in that prayer thing he's doing.

Rocky discovers the scent (which smells canine) ends suddenly, along with some weird ozone-like scent. But continued attempts to "sniff around" helps Rocky discover the scent picks up again at a different spot that would make for a good hiding spot. Then suddenly ends elsewhere, again, with an ozone scent.

What is soon discovered is that the scent of the creatures keeps vanishing and reappearing in spurts. The "vanishings" seem to have a maximum distance of about 30 feet, but is only ever shorter than that because an ideal hiding spot was a shorter distance than 30 feet from another ideal hiding spot. The creature always remains in concealed areas and the spots where the attacks happen is in concealed areas.

With some searching, Rocky is eventually able to track the scent out to the woods, where he is finally able to put actual tracks to the scent of the creature. It is, in fact, a canine. (Scratches like a canine, smells like a canine, and has canine tracks. Maybe it's a canine!) It doesn't quite match what wolf tracks look like, but it does appear to be a big dog.

Tam says, "Wow.. looks like we're getting somewhere."

Liberty looks up at Joe expectantly.

Rocky continues to track the trail of the 'dog-like canine' in his 'brown bear' form as he is careful to try and track down the den of the creature.

Doc speaks up, "I just hope whatever it is Rocky is tracking is alone... for all we know it could be a large pack and they are using some trick to mask their numbers, or maybe the attacks were by different members of the pack."

Adrian continues following the group as she says, "Possibly but not likely. Odds are it is just a single creature since a pack would probably have been spotted due to the impact on the area around them."

Buzz seems to sigh, and says in a low tone, "We probably should be quiet since the creature might hear us and try to ambush us. Since it seems to like to stick to hiding spots, it may prefer an ambush over frontal confrontations."

  At the druid based reveals of 'Probably teleporting' and 'Is a dog', Joe's player flipped a coin and decided the character can make an educated guess.  "So, are Blink dogs usually assholes?" It's NPC based nature, so the answer there is quite often 'yes' or 'Yes, but you're intended to be sympathetic'.

Mits continues to go with the theory that cuteness can trump prejudice and is all smiles and tail-wags.  After Timo prays and a trail is picked up, she gives him a "told you so" smirk and wink.

To Joe's question, Mits answers, "Depends on your source.  If legends, they're lawful and good.  If games of any kind, they're usually monsters.  At least they all agree that they're intelligent dogs that can teleport.  So there's at least a chance it can be reasoned with."

Meanwhile, she's fully expecting that the blink dog will give some tragic backstory of being so cruelly mistreated by the town that it's little scratch pranks will seem like child's play in comparison.  Because "In Soviet Russia, puppy kick YOU" would be way too good a story to be true.

Timothius gives the "i told you so" smirk a glance and looks like he is trying to figure out if it really made a difference or was just coincidence. Then looks fanboyish over Mittens spewing monster info like a pro.

Tam nods in agreement with Buzz, but answers Joe quietly, "Every creature is an individual, unique and set apart from their entire race. Most of what you need to know about someone from their race is what capabilities they likely possess."

In other words, whether a creature is a jerk or not, one should just prepare for what kinds of offensive and defensive capabilities the creature has.

Liberty says, "So.. assume anyone you don't know is a jerk?"

Tam says, "....I guess?"

After a while, the group comes upon a small, rocky hill and standing atop it is a canine. For those who recognize such, it is a blink dog.

DC up-to-player: The dog stood in a fashion so as to have his scent blown towards the team, as if wanting them to find him.
This message was last edited by the GM at 04:12, Fri 08 Mar 2019.

Rocky, still in his bear form looks at the blink dog and wonders if this is a trap since the dog was using ambush tactics earlier with hiding spots and is now intentionally giving away his position...

Buzz nods to Tam and Joe but remains silent.

Adrian shuffles around a bit and responds to Liberty, "That is a rather pessimistic view, but probably a safer one... I have heard people ask if it is paranoia when someone really is out to get you."

Doc tilts his head and looks a bit confused at the current actions of the blink dog, "This seems strange given what we've already observed of this creature's previous intentions to be stealthy. I do not want to believe it is making a mistake with what it is doing to let us spot it so easily... so it, or it's master, must be planning something."

  Joe still considers himself kind of a jerk, so can't argue with the logic of poor but not hostile initial assumptions.

  He is alas, drawing a blank for oddly specific guesses right now.  But he is hoping it's not an overly roundabout 'dog have problem.  Dog can't talk. Dog bite people so they call adventurers. Dog smart' situation.

"Probably best not to make assumptions one way or another," is Mits' opinion on judging by biology, "After all, cat people and artificial war machine people are pretty much all overpowered monsters in both legend and games.  And so far I've never met the cat person that can shrug off being dismembered nor do I see Rocky turning into a colossal siege weapon.  So yeah.  Can't really make assumptions."

And then Mits makes the assumption that the blink dog can understand Common.

"Hello!  My name is Mittens, and these are my friends.  We've been following the tracks of a hostile blink dog that led from the town over that way."

She thumbs over her shoulder.

"And then we discover you standing all dramatically at the top of this hill.  So what's your story?  Why attack the townsfolk?"

The dog stares at Mittens. Then trots around in a circle, then stares at Mittens. Then runs off.

Liberty starts immediately climbing the hill (it is steep, but you can ascend it on foot without using hands.)

Timothius says, "Liberty! Wait up!" and starts heading after her.

Tam waits for Rocky's lead.

Rocky knows that this could be an attempt to lead the group into a trap so he keeps alert as he heads up the hill with Liberty while sniffing around to see if anyone, or anything, else is in the area.

Buzz nods in response to Tam's statement before heading up the hill after Rocky.

Adrian and Doc simply follow along quietly as little can be said at the moment with the Blink Dog 'running off.'

  Supposedly blink dogs can only teleport themselves, thus it kidnapping Liberty is unlikely without help (So the blink dog probably has help).

  Joe follows along, hoping that several sets of eyes already trying to follow the dog and Liberty means he's not being irresponsible being more concerned with any other creatures or traps that might be lurking around and ahead.

"This one didn't take Common in blink dog language school," Mittens concludes.

She trots up the hill to keep up.  Not as strongly as the robot bear or the fighter man, but quick enough to stay with the group.

"Marching order, Liberty.  Don't put the cart in front of the horse.  Joe is your tank, not the other way around.  Just imagine how silly you'll feel when your Mittens-like enthusiasm has you step into a bear trap then Tam gets picked off in the rear by wolves because she couldn't keep up with the group that's hurrying to keep you from getting yourself killed."

Liberty calls back in a half-tease half-serious tone, "Joe would feel sillier if it was him who stepped in a bear trap, so I'll risk it! Better me than him anyway! And if a druid's apprentice can get picked off by wolves while in a group, then we all may as well give up our day jobs!"

Timothius calls out to Liberty, "That's like saying if a soldier dies in a war, he may as well never have been a soldier! People die by what they're good at all the time; getting good at it just reduces the risk. And Mitts is saying that if we do the right marching order, that will reduce the risk so it becomes only a 20% chance we all die instead of an 80% chance."

Liberty says, "Not the same! A soldier dying is like a cook getting ingredients on the table; it's *part* of the job! Tam getting taken out by wolves is like that same cook putting his shoe into the mix!"

On the bright side, concentrating on arguing has caused Liberty to slow down.

Tam says, "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Liberty, but Mitts and Timothius just want to do this the safest way; without unneeded risks. And did you notice Mitts compared you to herself?"

Liberty blushes. "Well yeah, but..." she glances at Joe, as if searching for his opinion on the matter, then looks in Mitts' direction.

On the other side of the hill is that same blink dog, watching the group from a distance. Once the group continues following, the blink dog continues leading.

Assuming the group continues following, the blink dog eventually leads them to a cave and stares at the cave entrance, which is about 50 feet away from where the dog stopped. It barks in the direction of the cave entrance.
This message was last edited by the player at 22:09, Wed 03 Apr 2019.

Rocky doesn't comment on the current conversation since Bears don't talk as he follows the Blink Dog. Once the dog stops and Rocky and presumably the others notice the cave. Rocky glances back and forth between the others, the Blink Dog, and the cave.

Adrian speaks up, "I believe Rocky is waiting to know what the group wants to do next."

Buzz says, "It seems like the blink dog wants us to enter the cave... But the question is, why does it want us to enter the cave?"

Doc glances at the Blink dog and replies to Buzz, "I guess it is either a trap or there is something in there the blink dog is trying to get someone to find. That might explain the previous 'attacks'. That is if they were attempts to get someone to follow and come to this cave."

  Joe keeps forgetting that 'Arrows=tank' when he is the one holding a bow.  But then most things are a tank compared to escort mission NPCs, so it holds up.

  "Bragging about your own deaths is the coping mechanism, not a goal. I think." Whoooole lot of 'yes please kill me heroes it would rule more than bane' makes that a silly subject.  "Our job is often stupid and dangerous, so even if you could suplex a bear only push ahead if you know now or never is the problem"

  'Or we'll never even enter the same room as the encounter' counts there. But it's not a point he's going to admit that out loud right now.

  "It's a teleporting above normal dog intelligence dog, and it's option chosen was 'dumber than dumbest dog' if true.... which sounds like how these things tend to go."

Mits gives Lib a cheery smile.  "Joe would spot that bear trap from a mile away, so you don't need to put your foot in it to spare him, noble as that notion is.  Don't stop being heroic.  Just season it with being sensible like Joe does."

She sweatdrops at the behavior of the blink dog.  "Um... do you understand Common?  Because the way you're acting is very suspicious.  Granted, it's not 'kill on sight' like I was expecting, but still...  Maybe if you went into that suspicious trap cave first we might be more willing to trust your directions."

Mits then looks to Rocky and company.  "In the event this blink dog is as smart as a normal dog, you guys can still communicate with it, right?"

The dog just does the doggy head-tilt at Mittens.

Liberty says, "It's kinda cute..."

Timothius says, "If you do have a way to speak to the doggy, sounds like that's what we need now..."

Tam says, "I don't have the ability to cast spells yet." then looks at Rocky.

Rocky shakes his head no while still in his bear form.

Doc speaks up, "While Druids do have Speak with Animals as a spell they could prepare, I know Rocky hasn't prepared that spell. But even if he had, it wouldn't help. Blinks dogs aren't beasts... They are fey."
This message was last edited by the player at 19:48, Tue 16 Apr 2019.

  Yet another reason Joe didn't bother to be a ranger.  Too many cases of 'Oh that dog doesn't count as a dog' and 'that beast doesn't count as a beast' to thwart SPELLS, in turn making mundane nature boy training a moot point.

  Even if this particular timeline ends up deciding that's silly, old (and often justified) habits die hard.
This message was last edited by the player at 21:04, Wed 17 Apr 2019.

"Mittens cannot deny the cuteness."

Does this mean cuteness can not only overcome racism but will also cover sins like ambushing villagers and wounding them?  Perhaps.  Either way, Mits is disappointed at that even the druid and minions aren't even trying the animal empathy.

"Fey dog is still a dog."

Mits takes out a bit of jerky and takes a bite.  "Mmm.  Food.  Here, have a bite."

She tosses a bite to the blink dog.  If it likes what it tastes, she then tosses another bite inside the cave entrance to see if it goes for it.

"If it refuses to go in, I think we can conclude this is a trap."

The blink dog looks at the food, noms it and enjoys it. Then when Mitts tosses the food closer to the cave, it whimpers and begins backing away from the cave.

DC up-to-players, the dog is probably afraid of whatever is in the cave coming out for the snack.

The children look to the adults. They have run out of ideas. Well, OK, technically, Timothius is thinking "Isn't walking right into traps what adventurers do?" but he is SO not going to say that out loud lest Mittens say "YES IT IS!" and march in and get killed.*

*Disclaimer: Timothius imagining people dying left and right is just who he is. This GM is not saying you guys will die here.

Rocky tries to take advantage of his bear senses while wild shaped to see if he can figure out what lives inside the cave, without actually entering the cave itself. With the blink dog afraid of the cave, the dog obviously isn't the inhabitant. But scents and tracks in and out of the cave may reveal what lives in the cave.

Doc, Buzz, and Adrian stay back since they know if whatever is in that cave scares the blink dog that can typically escape hostile threats by teleporting itself, then it is something they shouldn't risk being near.

  Joe comments  "Well, hopefully we're not dealing with something also invisible." as he points a bullseye lantern (DnD equivalent of a pocket spotlight) into the cave.

Mits conjures a hand to pat herself on the back with.  "Very clever, Mittens.  Why thank you, Mittens.  That's nice of you to say."

Mits starts checking the structural integrity of the cave entrance and cave ceiling.  Also checking the cave floor for that tell-tale mat of leaves and such that cover pit traps.  Also the walls for those little holes for arrows tho shoot out of.

"If Blinky is intelligent, then we can't rule out that he's afraid of traps inside.  The specific trap I'm most expecting is the collapsing entrance kind.  But if Blinky's just a regular old pup, then it's probably some bear or other dangerous creature inside.  But why would he indicate we should go inside?  I'm not getting any malicious vibes from him.  Is his companion inside and trapped by some assassin vine being slowly digested?  I doubt we'll have the element of surprise regardless, so may as well ask."

Mits cups her hands to her mouth to call out, but leaves plenty of time for someone in the team to object.  If no one objects, she shouts into the cave, "HELLO!  HEROES HAVE ARRIVED!  WHAT SORT OF DANGER IS INSIDE THIS CAVE?"

Ineterstingly, what Rocky's observations tell him from both scent and tracks is that a blink dog lives there. Though the scent is not the SPECIFIC blink dog the group has been interacting with. It is a different blink dog. Male, for whatever that is worth.

Joe's lantern reveals the inside of the cave. There is a blink dog, its eyes reflecting the light back and thus appearing to glow. The dog inside the cave responds to all the attention and yelling with a guttural growl.

Timothius hugs Mittens and hides behind her slightly.

Liberty growls back.

Tam glances at Liberty and gets a blushy smile. Then looks at Rocky. "Another blink dog. But he isn't leaving the cave to attack us. Is he scared? Wounded? Defending something? Or maybe even under a curse?"

Rocky suspects that this male blink dog is possibly the female's mate or relative... but wonders if this dog is sick...an illness like rabies would be a possible explanation as to why the attacks took place.

Rocky growls softly and ponders if he should remain wild-shaped into a bear or if he should return to his Warforged form and pass on what he suspects about this second blink dog's condition.

While Buzz and Adrian remain silent Doc speaks up, "This second blink dog is acting strangely. I wonder if something is wrong with it for the first blink dog to be unwilling to approach... almost as if afraid of catching an illness..." Doc glances to Rocky who nods at the awakened Deer as Doc continues, "You think the blink dog in the cave is sick, don't you." Rocky nods as he is limited to simple gestures while wild-shaped.

Buzz then speaks up, "If that is the case, then the trick becomes, how do we cure the blink dog... assuming there is a cure. Since I doubt the dog will let anyone approach."

  "I will be annoyed if it turns out there is some invisible magic barrier that traps living things inside the cave." But that would probably be too convoluted even for their life.

"Somewhat embarrassed that her yelling upset the doggie inside the cave, Mittens assures herself that it was an entirely sensible approach on the chance that there was a person inside in dire need of assistance.  Also, nobody got hurt."

Mits nods.  "Not ruling anything out yet.  It's possible that the Grumbles is unable to exit the cave due to magic and anyone who enters will be stuck.  Could be that there's magic that makes an otherwise conversationally intelligent pair of pups act like normal doggies.  Regardless of the cause, it's prudent to be cautious.  Just in case he understands Common, I'll ask Grumbles."

Mits squats down to have a less intimidating profile and addresses the growling dog.  "We intend to help you, but need to know more.  Please nod if you understand me.  Here, have some yum-yums."

Regardless of a nod reply or lack thereof, Mits wiggles her fingers to magically scoot the morsel that was tossed into the cave closer to Grumbles a little at a time.  This to judge just how far Grumbles is willing/able to budge from where he is.

The dog nodded in response to Mittens asking it to nod for understanding. It does not approach the food until the food is JUST inside the cave entrance. Then it cautiously approaches and sniffs before eating.

Timothius looks hopeful.

Liberty sits and folds her arms.

Tam idly puts a hand on Rocky's back while looking ponderous. But also looks hopeful upon seeing the blinkdog go for the food.

Rocky still suspects the blink dog in the cave may have some contagion, which would explain why the blink dog outside the cave won't enter, and why the blink dog inside the cave won't exit it. However, Rocky realizes that given how rational the male blink dog is right now he no longer thinks the contagion is one that affects the mind like Rabies.

Rocky tries to use his senses as a bear to see if he can spot or smell anything that could give a clue to the male blink dog's condition or why the male blink dog won't leave the cave if he isn't sick.

  "You know, the fact that these teleport means we can't exactly force it out of the cave.  If it's safe to enter, they'd just leave if we picked them up.  If it's not, they'd just teleport out of a net or lasso."

  Joe is used to the passive aggressive problems being related to conversation trees and exposition, so hey at least this much is new.

Mits ear-perks that the blink dog nodded.  "Well hurray!  Hopefully this means we can get to the bottom of what's going on."

She smiles and gives Grumbles a thumbs-up.  "Today's your lucky day, my friend!  We're the heroes that ended the Antler Horror of the Great Forest's reign of terror.  So first question: Are you sick?"

Mits figures that since no one is rushing into the cave, she can ask about any magical traps after first having Rocky's idea addressed.

The blink dog seems to think on Mitts' question before shaking his head.

Timothius says, "If he isn't sick... and he's actually communicating... is it safe to approach?"

Liberty says, "He's fine with food approaching. Problem would be if he thinks we're food."

Tam remains silent, thinking.

Rocky wishes he could communicate with the blink dog as that would make it so much easier to simply asks 'what is wrong and what can be done to fix it.'

Rocky now knows it isn't an illness so proximity shouldn't be dangerous. He also knows that if something were to be lethal to him it would merely knock him out of his wildshape and he can quickly resume it if needed to buy even more time if something is continually hazardous. So Rocky plods along on all fours up to the entrance of the cave while using his senses to try and discover anything that would help explain the situation. At times like this he wonders if he should get a pet rock that could be rolled around...if he did he'd have to name it Thief... and let it be a professional trap finder. Not like it would eat much and if a trap destroys it... well any similar rock could become Thief Jr... wonder how many Jrs he'd need if he went through a trap infested dungeon.

  Joe isn't sure if he's giving good examples, terrible examples, or both (probably both) to Liberty.

  But regardless, he gently underhand tosses a GM Approved™ squirrel with a rope tied around it caught off panel at the cave entrance.

  If it doesn't hit a forcefield, explode, or otherwise face dire doom at Joe's current attempts to pull it back out, it's getting TWO whole walnuts, wow!

Mits smiles at the answer she gets.  "Glad to hear you're in good health!"

Mits shrugs to Timothius' question and nods to Lib.  "Probably not safe.  Proceeding with caution is what Blinky advises."

Upon Rocky approaching, Mits tries to assure Grumbles, "This is Rocky.  He's a druid in bear form.  He's also a hero who means you no harm."

When Joe tosses the surprise Mission Impossible squirrel, Mits laughs!  "Ha!  Clever idea, Joe!  Ohwait!  This is not intended to be a meal, Sir Growls!"

(( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsuVLsDyln4 ))

The dog watches the squirrel get tossed. The squirrel lands in front of the dog and looks up at him before trying to get away. The dog just watches.

When the squirrel returns to Joe, it looks at him expectantly and chitters.

If it weren't for Mittens saying it still isn't safe, PLUS the earlier chiding, Liberty might have just walked right up to the dog by now. Alas, she just folds her arms, dreaming of being Leroy Jenkins. She honestly has no idea why Joe threw a squirrel. "Why'd you throw a squirrel at the cave?"

Timothius is paranoid by nature, so he has several thoughts on why Joe did.

Tam is WTF'd by the squirrel tossing. She'd ask why, but Liberty beat her to it.

Rocky smells a human scent that does not belong to anyone in the team. But definitely human. Doesn't smell familiar, though, so probably nobody they met so far.

The blink dog doesn't seem to mind Rocky approaching, but keeps an eye on him.
This message was last edited by the GM at 20:46, Fri 14 June 2019.

Rocky glances at Joe and shakes his head 'no' in response to the thrown squirrel as Rocky doesn't approve of that. But as a bear he can't really frown and growling would be a bad idea at the moment.

Rocky then moves over to a patch of dirt and scratches out a message into that dirt with a claw on his right hand. It is crude due to the limited hand dexterity of his bear form. Once he is finished he steps back and points to the message. 'Human scent at cave, not us. Will try to track.'

Buzz spots the message and reads it aloud for the group, "Rocky has written a message... he has found the scent of a human not from our group and is going to try to track that person."

Rocky nods to Buzz before the wildshaped druid starts to snift around to try to find the trail to see if he can track the human scent while still taking advantage of his bear senses.

  Joe commences nut based apology, "Just checking the thankfully just paranoid idea that there was something more tangible keeping living things trapped in the cave."

  He glances at the note, and to Rocky, saying "At this point it really would be best to just get on with it and head in, but you'd be better at following the trail than the rest of us, so fancy bears first."

  If he went on ahead there would probably have been at least a half dozen tunnel splits, now there is a bigger chance of it being a straight shot to the back of the cave with Rocky following a scent trail.

"Mittens is very pleased that Sir Growls didn't eat the squirrel.  Moreover, it managed to make it back to Joe unhindered."

She reads the message while Buzz reads it aloud, and just smirks at the eager helper being eager to help.

"Thanks, Rocky."

She'll follow after the bear as well and addresses Sir Growls, "So the Human that Rocky is smelling:  Are they the reason you're stuck here?"

The dog nods. And makes way for Rocky. The scent leads directly into a wall. To save time with post-rounds, it is soon discovered this back wall of the cave is illusiory and with a little prodding, the illusion vanishes. Hidden behind it is a cave tunnel where the scent continues. The dog seems to not wish to enter that tunnel, nor exit the cave.

There are a few forks, but it isn't labyrinthine. And soon, the group is able to find what looks like a mad scientist's lab. Though more Wizard version. Skulls, arcane sigils, books, glass vials, bubbling chemicals, etc. There is a scowling elderly human asleep in the room and hasn't noticed the group yet.

Rocky looks at the 'mad arcanist' in his lab and waits for the rest of the party to decide what to do since he is unable to communicate silently right now and he'd rather not tip of the wizard to their presence. Rocky would prefer to not give the wizard time to prepare for a fight since a wizard who has had time to prepare is deadlier than one caught off guard.

Rocky does prepare to engage the wizard in melee to try to stop him from casting an aggressive spell if the wizard attempts to attack the party.

  Someone who is cranky in their sleep is always bad news, it would probably be worse if they were NOT evil because then they would have to put up with listening to them for longer than three minutes.

  Tark isn't here to be disappointing at leaving bubbling chemicals in an enclosed space unattended.

Too bad Tark isn't here, 'cause that's just funny!

Mittens holds up a sign that reads, "I imagine a cranky mage who torments puppies is the kind to fill his secret lair with a magic trap or two."

She uses her arcana skills and whatever spells at her disposal to try and detect and traps.

The children came along, following at a distance. Upon seeing the wizard, Liberty silently shakes her fist at him, pretending to yell obscenities. Tam and Timothius looks startled like they expected sound from Liberty's "outburst" but calm down and then try not to laugh when they realize Lib's just playing.

Mittens does not detect any magical traps. Joe does not detect any non-magical traps.

The wizard is completely unguarded and asleep. If attacked in any way, of course, he will awaken.

Rocky observes the reactions by the others as they enter the lab and awaits a signal to attack or to take some other action like trying to grapple the sleeping wizard.

  Pesky actual standards.  It means not just murderhoboing the old man in his sleep and claiming to the townsfolk you saved them from an evil wizard.

  Joe makes use of ye olde notebook and ink to scribble 'While the less cautions option, just screaming at him to 'wake up' would put the moral posturing ball in our court better than mugging him in his sleep' .
This message was last edited by the player at 17:00, Wed 26 June 2019.

Mits nods to Joe and gets an impish smile.  She puts a puppet on her hand then proceeds to caaarefully put puppets onto the hands of the old man.  Because waking up to a bear in your room isn't quite the same as waking up to a bear in your room while your hands are too occupied with puppets to cast a spell.

Whether or not she manages to get the puppets on the old guy's hands before he wakes, she'll address him with her own puppet, as sweetly as she can sound.  (( https://images-na.ssl-images-a..._SL500_AC_SS350_.jpg ))

♬ "Wake from your rest, for you have a guest." ♪♫

The wizard wakes up, startled and looks about. "What in blazes?!"

He then looks at his hands to see puppets. "...." and proceeds to crack up as only elderly men can. After several seconds of this, he says, "Adventurers, I swear! Just when you think you've seen it all, a bear and some catgirl show up having snuck PUPPETS on your hands!"

Rocky figures the wizard suspects he's some sort of animal companion and not a wildshaped druid, so he figures he'll play the part... Rocky growls at the man before sitting down close enough to take a swipe at the wizard if he tries something Rocky views as aggressive like casting a spell, using a magic item, getting a weapon or spell focus out.

OOC: Pretty much a readied action to attack if the wizard tries something Rocky feels is agressive.

  Okay, eccentric and reclusive seems far more likely now. Thanks, Mittens totally official puppet test.

  "For as helpful as jaded cynicism is in the business, it's good to break it up from time to time." Well, 90% of the time with Mittens involved.  "Such as not assuming the worst when a pair of blink dogs seem insistent to the point of biting townsfolk that this cave be investigated."

=n.n= !!!

"Mittens is very happy to find that the scary wizard isn't grouchy!  Moreover, he likes the puppet gag!  She isn't the least bit disappointed that combat didn't happen."

The witch puppet on her hand isn't so convinced.  "Suuure you aren't.  I'll bet you were looking forward to pointing and laughing at the frustrated badguy while he fails to cast a spell while being suplexed by Rocky."  (( https://pics.me.me/know-what-t...attacks-23404323.png ))

Mits stuffs the puppet into her backpack, looking embarrassed.

The wizard chuckles at Mittens' antics, his chuckle turning into an old man cough. Then says in response to Joe, "Oh... the blink dog problem. Well that makes sense of why you're here."

He holds up the two puppets he was given. "Hmm... I guess let's say this one is me." he wags his right hand puppet to indicate which one he means. "And this one is the imp that snuck into my lab."

Wizard Puppet: "Ah the retired life. Now I can do my magical experiments in peace and care for these blink dog pups that wound up motherless."

Imp Puppet: "Aha! But you thought you could retire! No! I am an imp who lives for evil pranks to make people miserable! I'm going to wait for you to sleep, sneak in here, and mess around with your ritual, causing it to instead cast a curse on one of your blink dogs! And then I'll erase the ritual so you can't figure out the curse quickly!"

Wizard Puppet: "Oh my. What happened to my ritual? My magic tells me something infernal was in here. Good thing I have record-keeper magic for all those times I forget where I set stuff."

He flops the puppets on his lap. "You see... the curse prevents me from banishing the blink dog's natural teleport powers, which means I have no means of keeping him penned up. The curse forces the blink dog to follow a set of instructions every night, but he has gotten scared of leaving the cave at all. And what's worse is his sister is now scared of approaching him because he bit her on one of those nights. I'd use tranquilizers, but I don't know how to make 'em and the nearest person who would sell them lives too far for my old self to travel. I can't ask for help from the town because the townsfolk would more likely just come up with a solution like 'kill the blink dog', or even jump to the conclusion that I did this on purpose and then sentence me to death along with my dogs. So! Glad you came. And if you are the classic murder hobos, you probably would have killed me by now. But just in case you are murder hobos, I should inform you much of what I have is of very little value and I'm a dying old man anyway, so I actually have a special spell prepared for if someone kills me.... good thing you didn't. Anyway! Umm... oh right. The curse. I haven't fully figured out the cure to the curse just yet, but temporary or permanent solutions that don't involve death or maiming would be very much appreciated and would land you a reward that only I know how to get for ya."

Liberty scrunches her face a little, looking confused, then looks up at Joe.

Timothius looks relieved and hugs Mittens' side.

Tam decides to play along with Rocky's "act" and pets him gently.
This message was last edited by the GM at 19:36, Sun 30 June 2019.

Rocky remains where he is and wishes the party has a means of determining if what the wizard says is true. Rocky also wonders where this imp is, and why the wizard hasn't attached a note to the non-cursed blink dog to take to town asking for help using tricky wording to make them thank he was asking for help for himself instead of his pet blink dog.

Rocky sniffs around while looking to those around him as he waits while the rest of the party figure out what to do as Rocky is curious to know if the Imp or anything else besides the wizard and the two blink dogs have been in the area... after all the imp might be returning to continually hamper the wizard's efforts.

  "Yeah, that sounds like enough of a stupid headache to be true.  Better get used to it Liberty, few makes stories about 'that time the heroes solved the hopscotch themed trap', only about the exciting parts before and after it."

  He turns to the rest, saying. "Okay, the 'too good to be true if it works again' plan is we loudly proclaim how glad we are we solved the curse as we leave the cave.  Then beat up the Imp when they show up all indignant that someone thwarted them.  We can work out a more traditional plan when that fails, because then we will have done something before standing around for a half hour talking."

  Joe is so very glad that plan actually works, not so glad it doesn't work nearly often enough for anyone to believe it ever worked.

Mits' eyes go wide.  "Egad!  Mittens was doubly right!  It was both a prankster AND fantastical monster!"

She reflexively pets the cuddle kitty as she ponders ways to trump this malevolent prank.

"Worth a shot, I guess.  But I sincerely doubt that the imp stuck around due to the lack of any other harmful pranks going on in local town's recent history.  On the other hand, it could be that this imp is bound to the service of some old enemy of Professor Explodes-When-You-Kill-Him, and he's got no choice but to monitor his target.

"Didn't catch your name, by the way.  We're The Heroes That Ended The Antler Horror of the Great Forest.  Tried shortening our team name to 'Mittens' Mercenaries,' but that was rejected, and 'Adventure's Allies' was never officially ratified.

"And I guess since we're making 'bad for your health to kill me' proclamations, not only are some of us blessed by the divine, we have evidence that our quest is being watched by Heaven.  So there.

"I have a question about your pups.  Why don't they talk?  That part of the curse too?"

The wizard says, "My name's Eddie. And I suppose nobody was willing to shorten your name to THTETAHotGF?" Yes he pronounced that flawlessly somehow. "You plan sounds worth trying, at least. And on your question about the dogs, most blink dogs don't speak humanoid languages. They don't have the same vocal chords you and I have, making it impossible for them to make the sounds required for our languages. I only say 'most' because some have probably magically enhanced a blink dog to speak common or such, but I prefer to learn their language instead. Since they go to the effort of learning and understanding mine while not expecting me to speak their complex barks, why not afford them the same courtesy?"

Meanwhile, Joe's comment pulls Liberty from weirded out to 'this is just plain silly', so she giggles.

Timothius is curiously checking the place out, but careful not to touch anything.

Tam keeps her eyes on the wizard.

Rocky is actually thankful that he's currently wildshaped into the form of a bear since warforged can't arch an eyebrow in reaction to Eddie actually pronouncing 'THTETAHotGF' but as a bear, he not only arches an eyebrow but his lower jaw drops open with a rather confused look on his face. Rocky quickly closes his mouth and just glances around as he's not really sure what to do at the moment as he wonders if 'Eddie' is part eldritch abomination or something to be able to flawlessly pronounce THTETAHotGF as he's sure that humanoid throats shouldn't be able to do that.

  Prestidigitation is capable of a lot of fun sound effects, so using it to cheat in pronunciation is only less likely than 'they are just that much of a nerd to pronounce it flawlessly without it'.

  "Learning to bark like a dog was very considerate of you... That may have sounded like sarcasm, but so many honest compliments do in this business"

  If there are no objections, Joe starts heading back out the cave for operation 'Boy that curse was easier to break than the last one, honest'.

Mits is giggling from Eddie's suggestion, but seeing Rocky's reaction makes her keel over laughing raucously!  Never before has she seen a bear with such a face!  (( http://static.boredpanda.com/b...otography-4__700.jpg ))

Since she can't stop laughing, Mits just holds up a sign that reads, "Good point."

The bat symbol spins toward the screen and then away before the scene flips to the group being outside. When Joe implements his plan, anyone listening carefully will notice and imp trying to sneak into the cave.

Timothius notices and tugs on Mittens, to draw her attention to the imp.

Rocky's senses as a bear also alert him to the presence of the Imp and figures someone will signal to attack the imp once an opportunity arrives.

Adrian, Buzz, and Doc make sure to stay out of the way to not be caught in the soon to be coming conflict.

  Hmm, in hindsight Joe should have probably suggested the wizard be ready to shoot the Imp in the fact personally should his 'No, I'm serious' seemingly joke of a plan worked.

  He prepares to fast draw with his bow for after, or any noted lack of, his friends resorting to magical means of restraining it to make it easier to shoot through the wings.

The moment Mittens sees the imp, she casts Protection From Evil on Timothius.

With that done, she tries to sneak up on the imp with a net at the ready.  Hmm...  Note to self.  Get a feybane net.  But chances are this imp isn't mighty enough to teleport.

Of course, at this level, the group likely can't afford a feybane anything. But yes, it would be very nice to have one.

Fight cloud ensues! The group now has a beat-up and covered in net imp.*

The imp says, "Curse you, heroes!"

Eddie the Wizard says, "You, uh.. already cursed everyone with your annoying spell, so... kinda left us a bit with a 'so what?' on that statement."

Timothius is hiding behind Mittens, a little frightened by the imp and its writhing.

Tam is a touch frightened too, but is trying to put on a brave face.

Liberty isn't scared at all and yells back at it, "You're in no position to make threats, you horrible, wretched creature! Keep talking back to my friends and see if it doesn't earn you another kick or two!"

OOC: Feel free to describe what part your character took in beating up the imp.

*Had imagined the FFXIV imp: http://vignette1.wikia.nocooki...st?cb=20121216151723
This message was last edited by the GM at 22:34, Wed 14 Aug 2019.

Rocky takes advantage of the fact that as a bear he's far larger than the imp so once the net is thrown, Rocky uses his claws to pin down the imp to prevent any attempts at escaping the net.

When the imp speaks up, Rocky responds with a roar in the Imp's face.

Buzz, Doc, and Adrian stay back to avoid getting in the way, although Doc does speak up, "I doubt eating the imp would taste good," after Rocky roars at the Imp.

  It's always nice when Joe doesn't have to do anything but provide the stupid yet successful plan.

  "Rocky, the term 'hot wings' isn't because they came from infernal beings... Though I wouldn't blame you if you tested that theory."

(( Flashes back to game where druid PC wanted to eat the captive cultist NPC using the excuse "bear is hungry!"  With plenty of other food available.  And the cultist being the only lead on finding the bad guy hideout.  Druid player thought it funny.  Other players notsomuch.  Things quickly escalated to threats of RL fistfights.  Had to kill the game. ))

Mittens checks a check mark in her journal and smiles.  "First infernal outsider defeated!  Awesome!"

Sock puppet time!  "'Curse you, heroes!  Rawr!'"

She boops Timothius' snoot with her tail then smiles at her allies and winks.  "No need to threaten violence.  (Though admittedly now I'm extremely curious if outsider meat tastes any different from chicken.)  The more he bad-mouths us, the more I get to enjoy mocking him with my puppet!"

The imp is not afraid of Liberty, but is terrified of Rocky's roar to the face.

He didn't really pay Mittens much mind, but he would probably learn to be far more annoyed with her and have a preference for being the chew-toy of a bear if he realized how much a sock-puppet mockery would wear on him.

(Gonna fast-forward)

Soon, the imp is sent back to Hell via a ritual and the wizard is able to un-curse his blinkdogs. He thanks the heroes once again and gives them a reward of gemstones (one gem each). Each gemstone is worth 100gp. He is also willing to go with them to the town to explain everything with the PCs.

Whatever the PCs decide to do, soon enough, everything is explained and Jamie thanks the heroes, also prepared to give a reward...

Rocky ends his wild shape as he shifts back into being a Warforged when the Imp is sent back to hell since at that point there is no further need for him to be in the form of a bear. Rocky turns to Joe and says, "Eating that imp would have probably given me hellishly bad indigestion."

When offered the gemstone, Rocky pockets his and nods as he says to the wizard, "Letting you explain everything to the townsfolk would be best. Besides, it is probably time they were aware you are out here. At some point, they may need your help, or you may need their help and the option to send a Blink dog with a written message would be easier on the townsfolk if they knew who you are."
This message was last edited by the player at 12:57, Mon 14 Oct 2019.

  Manners are an odd thing.  Sure, Liberty, Tam, Tim, Adrian, Buzz, and Doc all totally count as heroes.  But if Joe brought that up at payday, suddenly it would be considered a bad thing to think that way.

  "Yeah, reclusive wizard 'who also has cool magic dogs' is a more useful reputation than 'reclusive wizard. His dog bit me that one time.  You'll get more mild annoyances, but it's worth it to know the next angry mob you see will be throwing bricks at your enemies."

  Is it any wonder adventurers keep wandering so often when small populations are involved?  A lot of them learn to save themselves from bottom of the barrel DnD problems after the first time.

Mittens was sure to slap a "kick me" sign on the imp's back before he was sent back to Impland.  She checks the gems for any magic auras just in case.  Not that nice wizard would deliberately give a cursed item to helpful heroes, but he may be absent-minded enough to have forgotten that he mixed in an anti-theft exploding ink-dye gem with the real ones.

Narrator did not specify that the kids *didn't* get gems.  But if not, Mittens is "rude" enough to insist that they get candy money at least.

Rocky's joke makes her bust out laughing!  "I see what you did there!  HA!  Didn't know you had it in you to be so punny!"

As for explaining things to villagers, "You could leave out the part where it was the dog that did the scratching.  Just claim it was the imp."

To Jamie she reminds, "We were here to fetch you for a lord who wants to hire you as an adventuring tutor."

The group's suggestions go over very nicely. The wizard does talk with the villages and all the injuries blamed directly on the imp without bothering with "mind control" explanations.

Jamie looks at Mittens and nods. "You have helped my village... how could I say no?"

Conveniently, Jamie can be crossed off the list and the team can still move on, knowing Jamie will head to Lord Henry. (Crossed him off the list in the thread "The parchment from Lord Henry")

The town does treat the heroes to some food, lodging, and coin. All said, each member of the team (not including the children, pets, etc) gains another 100gp. This means, coupled with the gemstones given by the wizard, the PCs each earned 200gp.

The next town is Harolton, said to contain a heroic harpy who drove off a band of orcs. The trip there is uneventful, but it does rain off and on with a bit of sunshine rain.

Upon arriving in Harolton, the group can see it is a normal human village. Just like Glimmerville, the people of this town react to the group of weirdos accordingly, but without hostility. Nobody approaches them, however.
This message was last edited by the GM at 04:26, Thu 03 Oct 2019.

Rocky would blink at Mitten's laughter and comment about being punny as Rocky was being serious and not intending to make a pun. The warforged druid knows that in some ways he'll never understand individuals like Mitten, and he's not sure if he should even try... after all people are always saying they don't understand someone else, so why not just let nature take its course... what you will understand... you will understand.

Rocky along with Adrian, Buzz, and Doc have no issues with the weather on their way to Harolton. In fact, Adrian actually enjoys the rain.

Upon arriving at Harolton, Rocky, Adrian, Buzz, and Doc shrug off the typical response they get from villagers.

Doc asks, "How will the group find the individual that Lord Henry sent us to find?

Rocky shrugs and replies, "We'll find a way, although I don't think asking random people for a friendly harpy that drove off a band of orcs will be the most productive way. We would be better off finding those in charge first and asking them."

  "I mean, there are many reasons 'you all met in a tavern' is a cliche.  We already know eachother, sure.  But paying to sit at a table and eat is less threatening than 'heavily armed strangers roaming the streets... Also we might be lucky enough for someone to just be drunk enough to be gladly talk to someone not tired of listening to them."

  It would be too easy for the harpy to simply be one one of the surrounding rooftops or windows, right?

You'd think that Mittens' umbrella was completely pointless for as wet she gets while singing and dancing in the rain, but she seems perfectly happy getting drenched as she does so.

"Siiinging in the rain!  Just siiinging in the rain!  What a glorious feeling, I'm haaapy again!"  (( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHg6QjhvsCM  ))

But then the reason for the lack of fear of wetness becomes apparent.  The beyonder power of Prestidigitation!  *Church Bell Tolls*  While dramatic music plays, an updraft of air lifts Mittens pigtails and bangs as she braces to power up for the casting of this legendary spell, and her hair takes on a golden glow!   K A B O O M ! ! !

She dries off.

Once in town, she calls out to the villagers, "The famous heroes who defeated the Antler Horror of the Great Wood are here in search of the nice harpy who drove off the bandits.  Would someone please point us to whom could help us find her?"
This message was last edited by the GM at 00:42, Thu 17 Oct 2019.

The people continue to look at the group like they are weird. Mittens yelling random proclamations of heroism doesn't help this as some give her confused looks.

Finally, some bully-looking teenage boy heads over to the group as if on a dare. "Famous, huh? Well.. I never heard of you. And as you can see, neither has anyone else here. More likely, you're wanna-be heroes who are looking to trap our hero and turn her over to some other town for money. You're not gettin' anything out of anyone!"

A couple guards jog over, as if to make sure the teen doesn't get himself hurt.

Timothius asks, "Why are you scared of us? Were the bandits disguised as adventurers or something?"

One of the guards answers, "Hariot has expressed that adventurers have chased after her for the sole purpose of either killing her or turning her over to towns that believe her to be a villain in disguise. If you bunch are *real* heroes, we'll be happy to introduce you to her. But the kid's right.. I don't think anyone here has heard of you bunch."

Liberty looks angry. "Just like you said before, Joe... other adventurers making things frustrating for the rest of us..."

Rocky glances at Mittens' antics and sighs since he can't arch an eyebrow as he mutters, "Well at least we found a town guard." Rocky then motions to whoever has the parchment from Lord Henry to show it to the town guard, since Rocky hasn't been holding it as it would be hard to show someone if he is wild shaped into another form.

Rocky then says to the town guard, "You will have to excuse Mittens. She is always like that. I am not surprised you haven't heard of us. Not all of us have even advertised what we have done."

Rocky then goes on to explain, "We are here on the request of Lord Henry and have documentation to prove that. All we are here to do is show Avery the document we have from Lord Henry and then explain to her the offer from Lord Henry as he is trying to recruit local heroes and adventurers to help keep these lands safe. In the end, it is up to Avery if she wishes to take advantage of it or ignore it. If she wishes to ignore it, I have no problems with just leaving her to what she has been doing and moving onto the next town on the list. If you have any evidence of who has been trying to abduct her or attack her you can let us know so we can inform Lord Henry. I doubt such attempts are isolated to just Avery and if Lord Henry is informed of such attempts he can take actions to try and stop further attempts in both Harolton and elsewhere."

Doc, Adrian, and Buzz stay quiet as Rocky tries to explain the situation before things get out of hand.

  Joe is very aware they are also being paid to track down this harpy for personal profits, but their employer is (hopefully) less of an asshole with their desire for a hero pokedex.

  "Do you remember anything about the people you are so angry about, or have they become a dim memory of 'uh... jerks?' with no useful way to identify them compared to people traveling with children and walking shrubs?" Look, teenagers technically count as children to non-teenagers.  Even in a fantasy setting just lousy with pre-teen saviours.

Mits feigns surprise.  "Oh look!  RESULTS!  The team now knows more than they did before!  Without having to find a mayor or a tavern.  And people knock Mittens' methods."

She grins at the teen boy and pops a party popper full of glitter and confetti at him.  "Congratulations on being the only man in town with courage enough to confront the strangers!  Well now you have heard of us.  And you've also heard that we resolved the Diabolic Mystery of The Savage Slashings just one town over."

Mits gives a friendly wave and smile to the two guards when they arrive.  "Nice to meet you, gentlemen!  From what Mittens has been hearing of Hariot, she may be as impressed with you guys' lack of prejudice toward monster races as this monster girl with two thumbs.  Though she will admit some disappointment to hearing the mistreatment Hariot's gotten from bigots, it comes as no surprise at all to Mittens, having experienced similar herself.  Now if I were Hariot, I'd be torn between sticking with such a great group of folks or finding new towns to rescue."

Not that torn.  But still an honest statement.  And with "we have paperwork" face, and "you guys are useless, aren't you?" face having covered the other two angles, Mittens says no more, occupying herself with giving Liberty a quick puppet show that mocks the hypocrisies of racist adventurers.

Dwarf Cleric Puppet: "Hi.  I hate all non-dwarves.  Especially elves.  Except this elf wizard because he hates orcs.  We team up with our half-orc barbarian and hunt down human bandits.  Oh look!  The bad guys teamed up with an elf and a half-orc!  This is why I hate non-dwarves.  No standards at all.  There's a dwarf on their mixed race team too?!  Race Traitor!"
This message was last edited by the GM at 18:36, Fri 25 Oct 2019.

The guard examine the documents and raise their eyebrows. The kid tries to keep his stern face, but is blushing from Mittens' comments.

A guard says, "This all checks out, actually." he then looks at Joe. "Thanks to Harriot, we have sketches done up of the adventurers that she has so far been chased by. You don't match any of the sketches I saw... follow me and I'll take you to her."

The children look relieved.

Assuming the group follows the guard, he takes them to what looks like the town's jail and they see a harpy.*

* https://www.deviantart.com/sak...Snow-Harpy-343275265

She is wearing a deputy badge as a necklace and is leaning back in a chair. Upon seeing the guards come in with the adventuring team, she hops to her taloned feet.

Rocky would arch an eyebrow at Mitten's little puppet performance... that is if he had eyebrows. The Warforged doubts anyone is truly like that as it makes no sense to him. Thus Rocky believes that Mittens is just exaggerating a fictional situation and group of people for comedic effect.

Upon seeing the harpy woman with a badge he wishes Lord Henry's letter was more precise on the matter as it lists her name is Avery while the townsfolk call her Harriot, so Rocky assumes it is Harriot Avery. Thus Rocky is unsure how he should address her as Harriot or Ms. Avery, so he simply says, "Hello," as he waves to her.

  Joe does enjoy being an HONEST version of the 'some of my best friends are X' punchline, yes.

  "Thanks, it's always nice to have an idea who to avoid working with unless stubborn pride will get more people killed." and sometimes even infamous mercenaries are pushovers compared to their pet bird and cat when they betray you.

  Hopping to feet is kind of required for a bird to stop sitting, so Joe takes the lack of irate follow up to be a good sign.  "What Rocky said. We represent a glorified nerd who thinks you are cool."

Mits makes that raspberry sound with her lips that one makes when failing to suppress a laugh.  "'Glorified nerd...'  Even Mittens doesn't dare use such hilarious descriptors of her employers.  She secretly admires Joe's awesomeness, and makes mental note to title this latest chapter, 'Quest of The Glorified Nerd.'"

To the harpy she smiles and gestures grandly to conjure a giant sparkly, "Hurray!" arcing over herself.

"Greetings and salutations, Avery!  (For such is what we were lead to believe your name is.)  I am Mittens, and we are the Famous Heroes Who Ended The Antler Horror of The Great Wood!  We deliver a simple message:  Lord Henry would like to learn to become a hero, has heard of your heroics, and so would like to take lessons from you and other heroes like you.  Will pay handsomely.

"First time we delivered this message, the hero needed us to help solve the Diabolic Mystery Slashings problem his town was facing before he would agree to go visit Lord Henry, so doubt not that we are up to any quests needed to free you up to do so as well."

The harpy flap-flaps a little in response and gives Mittens and the group a helpless smile.

The guard explains, "She can't talk. But she can write. Avery is the name she went by before adventurers started hunting her down. Harriot is the name this town gave her in hopes of helping dissuade people from hunting her."

Timothius asks, "Why can't she talk?"

The guard answers, "She says it was when she was captured by goblins once. They were worried she would use the famed harpy sound weapon and so they stabbed her in the throat. She survived, but has not fully healed from that since."

Timothius cringes and hugs Mitts' arm. "G-gosh... sorry..." he mews pitifully.

Liberty is clenching her fist in anger and reaches to hold Joe's hand for comfort while she stares at the ground so she won't make the harpy feel she's angry at her.

Tam says, "You're good on what she has already told you, but we'd still like to converse with her. She have a means of writing so we can talk with her?"

The guard nods. "Yes."

Avery/Harriot hops up onto the desk and dips a talon into some ink before scratching away on a piece of paper. It reads:

"I can't talk, so teaching your friend would be very hard. I would rather just be helpful where I can. So I help people who are not being helped."

Rocky would frown if his face could when he hears why the harpy doesn't speak... and he knows that while healing magic could restore her voice, such regenerative power is still beyond his ability.

Rocky glances to the others and ponders the next course of action since Avery/Harriot wishes to stay since it is hard to teach when you can't speak and not everyone would be patient enough to read her words. Rocky's eyes then dim for a moment before going wide as he realizes something and then speaks up, "While healing your throat with regenerative magic is currently beyond my capabilities, I have heard of a minor enchantment that can be placed on items which could help. It is an enchantment that lets the wearer speak a single language... And since it works even on creatures that normally cannot speak as the enchanted item is the source of the sound, such an item could be of use to you, at least until you can find a way to recover your own voice. The trick is to find someone who can enchant such an item. I am aware of that enchantment since it would also be something of use to me when I wild shape into an animal form."

  Joe provides at least a solid 8.5 out of 10 handholding.  "Well, I can hardly blame you for wanting to stay around friendly faces.  Even if it's to kick less than friendly ones."  The joys of group roleplay means holding off the horrors of 'I WILL obtain 100% completion' can inflict upon the world in a solo run.

  "While knowing their options is always good Rocky, I think their main question is being able to afford one, and finding somebody to even make it." Well, okay. Harriot having completed quests recently might actually be able to afford a 100 gold item, and his party has just earned 200 each.  But bringing that up means having to ask if the people sheltering her are cheapskates.

  Why isn't Joe mentioning the fact they literally just helped a wizard the next town over? So somebody else can feel smart bringing it up, duh... Joe, you're not doing the Secret Lesson thing right.  Everybody knows you have to act like an asshole who threatens to stop teaching unless your student asspulls a win displaying the fact they have zero need to be taught in the first place!
This message was last edited by the player at 05:53, Fri 15 Nov 2019.

Mittens envisions a future where she helps the harpy get her voice back only for the harpy to then use her voice weapon to destroy the ears of adventurers, good or bad.  So she's deciding to not fall over herself to take up a quest to restore the poor girl's voice.  Wasn't asked to, after all.

"'Will pay handsomely.'  Mittens did say this.  Just a moment ago.  And presumably well enough for to pay for a regeneration spell to be cast to heal the voice.  Or get the magic item, whatever Avery prefers.  And presumably, helping people will be more streamlined when one has a voice.  Win win.

"To be honest, Mittens is wondering why nobody's yet asked, 'What's to say Lord Henry isn't an evil mastermind, or under the control of an evil mastermind, and the real purpose of this quest is to gather together heroes for the purpose of encasing them in crystal around a massive magic circle as fuel for a dark ritual that will re-summon the colossal abomination of ruin that was sealed away 1,000 years ago?'  To which Mittens' only answer is, 'We talked with him and didn't notice any tell-tale signs of evil mastermindery going on.'"

Avery looks excited when Rocky mentions regenerative magic or magic items able to give a voice.

Avery and the guard both sweatdrop at Mittens.

Timothius wonders the same thing Mittens is wondering out loud. But he's paranoid for different reasons. Mittens thinks up that stuff because it's more dramatic and/or sound just like a storybook. Timothius thinks up that stuff because he is naturally paranoid and imagines worst case scenarios.

Tam gives Mittens a weird look. "And I'm wondering why you're wondering that. Nobody even thinks that stuff."

Timothius says, "Hi. My name's Nobody and this is my sister Nobody."

Liberty says, "If you two think like that all the time, how is it you trust anyone?"

Timthius says, "Getting to know someone is usually enough to tell someone is trustworthy."

Avery scribbles, "If Lord Henry can fix my voice, I will be happy to teach what I can."

The narrator would write more on the topic, but what he has to write is completely outside the knowledge of the narrator-controlled characters present. We have three children, a normal town guard, and a harpy who only recently started hanging out with humans.

Rocky wonders if Mittens is trying to get people to disregard her and drop their guard around her just so she could then turn out to ambush someone with a nasty surprise when it is revealed that she is a villain that was playing along with the adventurers out of boredom before crushing everything they believe in. And then dismisses the thought as he realizes he's possibly been around Mittens and Joe too long if his train of thought is heading down such strange avenues.

Rocky looks to Avery and says, "With Lord Henry's resources he should be able to procure a way to fix your voice." Rocky also makes a mental note remember to see if Lord Henry can get an item the Warforged an item he can wear when wild shaped to be able to speak common while in the form of an animal.

  Joe WOULD refer to 'huge nerd' for why Henry probably isn't evil, but honestly that's no help.  Just look at liches, for one example there.

  "Well, that's a lot more convenient than our last stop...  There ARE no lingering problems you'd be stuck with after Avery leaves, right?"

(( This made me LOL!  XD ))

Mittens pulls her Floop puppet and sings along with it,
♪ "It's a cruel cruel world
All you little boys and girls
With some mean, nasty nasty people
NastyNastyNasty people.

But there's a way
You can make your day!
You can laugh!
You can smile!
You can come and stay awhile!
You can dream my dream.
You can have it all with me!
You can dream my dream!" ♫

She nods.  "Nobody agrees with her brother Nobody.  You'd have noticed if Henry was all, 'It's important that the heroes be young.  The younger the better.  Because... young heroes are more vigorous teachers.  Yesyes.  Large is good, too.  The larger the hero, the better.  Don't work too hard on getting me any golem or undead type heroes.  No blood in... I mean... they're just creepy.'"

The guard answers Joe's question. "Nope. Not that we are aware of. But I weould ask that, now that you bring up the possibility Henry might be evil, you do some checking up on him with Avery at your side."

Timothius says, "That sounds reasonable."

Tam asks, "You mean you guys didn't check up on Henry? After all that talk about being surprise people don't think to check up on people?"

Rocky glances at Mittens and wonders why she is saying no 'golem types' since a Warforged is technically a golem-like living creature and chalks it up to Mittens just making a joke that he doesn't comprehend since Lord Henry did have him on the list along with everyone else.

Rocky glances to Tam and says, "Not all villains advertise themselves as such and are revealed by simply investigations. Some don't even see what they are doing as evil and truly have good intentions from their own viewpoint as they commit acts of evil for the 'greater good'. We are mostly saying that just because we haven't discovered anything nefarious about Lord Henry's known actions, does not prevent a nefarious action from existing that we do not know about. Besides, there are greater odds that if there is a villain in Lord Henry's court, and we have no proof that there is one, then it isn't him but someone else who is good at covering their tracks. It never hurts to be cautious so long as you don't let it devolve into paranoia that hampers you and those around you."

  "Double checking probably wouldn't hurt, unless people were aware of some time sensitive problems already hassling our next destinations?  Half the reason the Imp didn't get away with it on our last stop was because we didn't go Full Paranoid, after all, but things might not have gone so well if it went on much longer first."  Ah, the distinctions of world based timeframes vs party based timeframes. Always a tricky thing.

"Nya.  Side-tracking to do some pointless sleuthing on Lord Henry was not what Mittens was aiming for.  Though she cannot deny that it makes sense to be more thorough when something as unusual as Lord Henry pops up, what Mittens was trying to point out is that while we were satisfied with Lord Henry's intentions because we were able to talk with him face-to-face and noted that he wasn't suspicious at all, everyone else has taken Lord Henry's stated intentions at face value without having met him face-to-face.  Mittens also wanted to both point out that we can be trusted because what sort of villain warns you of potential danger you failed to notice, and to arm Avery with enough caution that she would be watching for tell-tell signs of something amiss when she arrives.  Hero-face number one being nowhere to be found, for example.  Then she can hunt us down and warn us that we need to gather all the heroes to ourselves and then rescue H.F.1.

"I'm not aware of any urgent matters, but all the clues so far point to that it would be a waste of our time to go back and investigate when we've still plenty more heroes to go find.  Why didn't Mittens warn H.F.1?  He wasn't paranoid of adventurers, so she didn't think she needed to.  Sheesh.  Mittens is so un-used to being taken seriously, she tends not to think about having to keep her fantastical musings to herself."

A puppet appears on her hand and declares, "Tell them about the one where you're all actually puppets being controlled by beings from the beyond for their own amusement!"

Avery flappa-flaps and scratches more words, "Even if Lord Henry can be trusted, few else can. I won't be safe traveling there without protection. Humans don't like me and this town needs what few guards it has."

Tam says, "The trail wasn't terribly dangerous. A few people here from town would be enough to show the city guards that you aren't a threat."

Timothius says, "She has a point about being a harpy. But Mitts and I are considered a "monster race" and weren't given any trouble."

Liberty says, "Could always have her come with us to the next hero and then she can travel with whoever that is."

Rocky glances at Avery's message and speaks up, "At worst, after we pick up the next individual we escort them both to Lord Henry. It depends on how well the next person gets along with Avery and a number of other factors. Lord Henry might have an updated list anyway, so it wouldn't be a waste of our time to head back sooner or later."

As a Warforged, Rocky knows that some people can be wary of him and suspects it would be even worse for a Harpy so he'll make sure things go smoothly, even if he has to use wild shape to take a faster form to make the traveling easier... and wishes he was strong enough to wild shape into a bird which would make things a lot easier as then he and Avery could just fly there and then he flies back.

  "Honestly, taking advantage of the buddy system is probably the best idea to go with, yeah."

  Joe can sympathize with 'wait, someone took my warnings seriously?', except Joe's normally meaning it with his oddly specific warnings rather than hoping for what would be more exciting.

Mittens' pigtails flappa-flap and she leans over to Timothius to mutter, "Ermergersh she's so kyooot!"

She grins at Lib and gives an enthusiastic thumbs-up!  "Fantastic idea!  YES!  Let's do that!"

Mits smiles eagerly at Avery and tail-wags.  "I presume you're ok with joining us fellow 'monster' adventurers on the next recruitment run?"

Timothius blushes and holds onto Mitts' arm when she comments on Avery's cuteness.

Avery nodnods at Mittens when she asks her question.

Liberty beams proudly that she came up with a suggestion nobody else did that the grown ups considered a good idea.

Tam looks at the list. "The list says the next closest is somewhere in the forest. Since that's where the hero was last seen, either this very town or the next one, Charlton, is where we'll hear from people about an elf hero from the forest."

The guard says, "I heard about an elf hero, but... I heard about it from a guy who had come here from Charlton. So you should try there."

(Taken from the List:)

Last Reported Location: The Great Forest
Name: Unknown
Race: Elf
Gender: Unknown
Known For: Protecting travelers from beast and bandit alike.

Last Reported Location: Charlton
Name: Honey
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Known For: Eccentric. Solves local disputes. Knocked out a guard and got away with it.

Last Reported Location: Charlton
Name: Morthos
Race: Tiefling
Gender: Male
Known For: Took down the local gang.

Rocky nods and says, "So it looks like Charlton is our next destination where we could end up meeting up with as many as three others to recruit... along with Avery that would be a decent group to head to Lord Henry's safely...."

Buzz glances around and speaks up, "The one named Honey though might be a problem... not sure how she got away with attacking a guard but that might be a sign that she dislikes authority..."

Adrian responds with, "Depends on the situation, that guard might have been drunk and was making a fool of himself, or worse." as the awakened shrub seems to shrug, well as much as a shrub can shrug.

Doc shakes his head and then asks, "Well if we are heading to Charlton next, is there any supplies we need before we head out? Or possibly anything anyone would want us to deliver to Charlton since we are already heading there?"

  Joe was thinking more along the lines of 'wait here then go back with the next hero we send back'.  But he's going to be the one to suggest 'actually, let's NOT travel with a cute harpy' either.

  "It is usually easier to find people in a town than the middle of a forest." Well, unless The Plot or the people in said forest go looking for you.  But that is where Charlton still comes out ahead in 'Two heroes are better than one hero, right?' logic.

"Honey sounds like my kinda girl!  Takes guts to stand up to tha man.  We may not have the details, but it's easy enough to figure she was in the right if she wound up on a hero list instead of a menace to society list.

"I'm hoping the Elf hero doesn't turn out to be some zillion-year-old.  Will probably look down on us and Henry's offer if so.  'I still remember the day when his great grandfather insulted my race.  Not interested in doing any of his descendants any favors, nor their hired help.'

"But speaking of stereotypes, I gotta say I'm glad no one's saying anything against the Tiefling just for his race."

A puppet begins to tease Mittens for her age discrimination, and she tries to defend her position with silly logic about having the right to discriminating against the old because she was discriminated against because of her youth.

Liberty looks up at Mittens. "You looked at our team lately?"

Avery shrugs and smiles.

Tam says, "Honey might be a folk hero then. Surprised she didn't wind up with a price on her head and wanted posters like Mitts pointed out..."

Either way, there is nothing more to do in this town and no reason to return. The group is soon able to be on their way to Charlton. The group is, however, given a wagon drawn by two horses to make their travel easier/smoother/faster. Avery mostly stays seated and loves the children, wrapping her wings around them and snuggling them.

Upon the group being given the wagon and two horses, Rocky checks to make sure that the horses are comfortable in their harnesses before the group leaves for Charlton.  While Rocky, Buzz, and Adrian can all fit into the wagon, as a Deer, Doc can't ride in the wagon but Doc is fast enough to keep up with the horses pulling the wagon so Doc has no issue with walking beside the wagon, or behind it when the path is too narrow to walk beside the wagon and horses.

Rocky uses his time while traveling as an opportunity to keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary or plants and other materials that could be useful in medicine, herbalism, or alchemy since such components might be useful in the days to come. While Rocky notices how Avery acts around the children, the Warforged Druid doesn't comment on it since he suspects it is just her motherly instinct.

  It is a sign of Nerd Lord Henry's attention to detail, that they wrote down reasons to not be too concerned about snooty elf stereotypes.  "Well Mittens, the list mentions they were defending travelers from beasts.  So we probably won't have to worry about bad sterotypes chiding people for having the nerve to be attacked by wildlife."  Don't you know Elk are herbivores? How dare you disrupt their traditional diet by being devoured by them!

  Meanwhile, Joe's player is getting Skyrim hoarding flashbacks from Rocky's narrative.

"Silly prejudices laugh at your expectations of common sense.  Mittens will remain encouraged by the good company she's keeping."

And skeptical of future company.  But speaking of common sense, snuggling children you love is a most sensible thing to do, so Mittens doesn't even think to comment.  Instead...

"So Avery.  I'm presuming that you can, in fact, fly.  What is your max carrying capacity?  Could you safely land if you were to leap off a cliff with me piggybacking?  Could you take off with Liberty holding on to you?  Would you be able to perform aerobatics?"

Mits is sure to pause between questions so that Avery can reply with nods or headshakes.

Rocky is not wrong. Sometimes, when a druid thinks people acting on nature is the reason for their actions, it turns out to be true.

Avery does, in fact answer the questions with gestures:
Nod. Shrug. Shrug. Nod. Nod.

She also uses her talons to curiously fidget with Mittens'/Timothius' tails or fidget with Adrian's vines.

Tam, as usual, is sure to pet and feed Adrian, Buzz and Doc. Liberty, being a girl, wants to pet Doc too and occasionally the horses.

The travel is uneventful and the team is able to see Charlton coming into view. It appears to be a walled city, if still on the smallish side for a city.

When they arrive, the guards in front of town ask the group to halt and ask them their business. Assuming Mittens is her usual forward self, the guards still give her a look of curiosity. One guard asks, "I've always wanted to see a catfolk for myself... and always wanted to know; do your kind like catnip?"

Rocky remains silent when the group reaches the walled city and frowns at the attempt at isolating itself from nature, although he recognizes the need to protect oneself from outside threats...

Rocky sighs when Mittens is asked about catnip as he wonders how long it would be before someone asks him a similar question regarding his digestive system, or if he has a heart...

Adrian, Doc, and Buzz remain silent at the moment although Buzz is tempted to ask a similarly stupid question to the guard like 'Why do humans like to get drunk from fermented fruits, grains, and/or honey? Why not fermented cheeses or mushrooms?' However, Buzz knows better than to taunt or otherwise annoy a guard when doing so would make it more difficult to complete the task at hand.

  Joe is going to let the actual hairy lady confirm or deny the love of easily obtainable cat drugs.

  "Hello, anything interesting happen lately? Or has it been one of those rare stretches of safe normalcy?  We could do with less imps cursing wizard dogs this week."

Mittens smiles to hear Rocky sigh on her behalf.  Still...

"Is it true that Humans roll on the floor laughing when you bring up how many advantages they have over the other races?"

+2 to a stat of your choice.  Extra feat.  Extra at-will.  +1 to all NADs.  Most populous race in the world.  Etc.

"Judge not Catfolk based on Mittens.  Meow.  She is most certainly not very catfolk-like, whom are apparently hard-wired to be in love with the idea of living the most boring life possible.  Hence not visiting Human settlements very often.  You people are far too fun and interesting for most Catfolk's tastes.

That said, Mittens is standard Catfolk on the topic of catnip.  The scent of which is about as likable to a Catfolk as a fragrant rose."

To Joe she reminds, "We've had a distinct lack of any cursed wizard dogs this week, remember?  The imp acted entirely on it's own."

Probably just as well Buzz held off there. He would have gotten a stupid answer like "Who wouldn't?" or "Why not?"

The guard looks confused by Mitts' question and shrugs. "I hadn't heard of such a thing. Most humans assume all the other races are better at stuff. Elves are better at bows, dwarves are better at digging... uh... catfolk have better reflexes and hearing. Stuff like that. Sure we have a racial pride of our own, but we take what advantages we have for granted for the most part."

Then he looks surprised by Mitts' answer. "....boring? You sure could fool me. I heard catfolk are super curious and in some cases quite vicious."

He then looks at Joe. "Normal as a city can be. We had a problem with a gang rising to power for a bit there, but a tiefling named Morthos took them down. You bunch seem like the type he'd like. If you wanna meet the local hero, he usually hangs out at the Grill Delight Tavern."

The guard looks the group over. "But given your appearances, if you start having trouble, please just go straight to him. He's an established hero here, so if he likes you and vouches for you, people will warm up to you. If you are trouble-makers, well... he'll figure it out and you'll have him and the city to deal with."

The guards let the group in!

Rocky keeps his opinions on the guards' antics to himself as he feels the whole racial stereotyping is something to be avoided as exceptions always exist and ignoring that can get you killed.

Instead, after the group is let in, Rocky speaks up, "So from here, it seems like we head to the Grill Delight Tavern to meet up with Morthos. Although we will also need to deal with where to store the wagon and stable the horses pulling it while we are in town. Perhaps someone at the tavern will be able to suggest a place."

  "Thanks, that sounds like a good idea.  Hopefully the tavern lives up to it's name"

  He looks over to Mittens and Rocky, commenting "Humans are good at boring advantages, like declaring 'Not It for finding parking'"

♪ ♫ "I am a Dwarf and I'm digging a hole,
Diggy diggy hole
diggy diggy hole." ♩ ♬ ♭

"That would be Tabaxi and Razorclaw Shifters respectively.  If what I was taught is true.  Never met any members of either race personally.  Gotta love how a Tiefling Hero qualifies as 'normal' for a city."

Mits chuckles at Joe's taking a boring advantage.  "Try though you may to pretend to be boring, Mittens knows better.

Joe: Hangs out with robot, cats, child heroes, harpy, etc.  Resolves diabolical mysteries.  Travels.  Badass Warrior.  The list goes on.

Actually boring person: Stays home and does chores."

Approaching the Tavern, she has her usual neon sign floating over her head.  This time, the message reads, "Itinerate Regional Heroes."

Parking was easily had. This city conveniently has a stables near the entrance.

Avery timidly follows the group as they approach the tavern. The clinking of armor can be heard before a teenage male tiefling wearing black armor with spikes comes out of the front entrance of the tavern, wagging his tail behind him with a challenging grin on his face.



He stands confident and calls out to the group (who are currently only 20 feet away), "Hail, heroes! My name's Morthos! Local hero! Love the sign, miss!"

He looks the group over with a smile and says, "Wow! The kid who told me about you all wasn't kidding! You really are a motley crew! You hungry?"
This message was last updated by the GM at 07:10, Thu 06 Feb 2020.

Rocky looks at Morthos and can't help but think that Morthos reminds him of Mittens' personality... given the reaction to 'the sign'...as neither one seems to do subtle...but wonders why he suddenly feels as if this tiefling is comparing the group to a crew of musicians.

The Warforged Druid glances at the sign and says, "Well signs like that are great when being subtle isn't necessary..and drawing attention is the goal."

Buzz, Doc, and Adrian remain slightly behind the group not far from Avery.

  "Mittens, 'And then we told the bad guy we already stopped him, and it worked' sounds too stupid for even the most gullible people to believe, even if it's true."

  The Morthos notices the obvious, and also the sign.  "Food that I don't have to cook myself is almost always a good option, but only if you let Mittens hear about the cool things you did while we eat."
This message was lightly edited by the player at 23:26, Fri 07 Feb 2020.

"Heart!"

Mits gives a sweeping bow to Morthos' compliment and grins at her allies.

"Yes.  Mittens decided to hold off on noms when she heard where to find you, figuring 'Grill Delight' has got to be better than trail rations.  (Though Joe makes it so Mittens rarely ever has to nom trail rations, the previous statement remains accurate.)

"And yes!  Would love to hear of your adventures!"

When the appropriate time allows for it, Mits'll give introductions, making each member of the team sound epic.  Even Adrian, Doc, and Buzz get introduction.

Morthos invites the group in and says, "I've got tales of all kinds! I have believable tales and unbelievable tales. Tales to astonish and tales... not so astonishing, but that you can probably empathize with."

He puts a couple tables together to allow for the group to all sit together. They do number 10, not including Morthos. The people of the Grill Delight look, well, delighted to see such odd company being welcomed by the young tiefling.

While he's still standing, Morthos turns to the waitress and says, "That special was just so gosh-darn good and I know the chef loves making large portions of it. These people say they're famished, so just tell Gregor to make up three big pots full of the stuff and we'll start with that."

The waitress beams and nods.

Morthos twirls a chair to be at the head of the tables and sits on it with the backrest facing his chest, then leans his arms on the top of the backrest. "Alright. So." he rolls a d20 onto the table.

22:07, Today: Morthos rolled 11 using 1d20 with rolls of 11.  Morthos deciding what story to tell.

Morthos says, "Eleven! Great! That's the story of the time I met this adorable little red-haired goblin gal named Flert! She comes from a tribe called "The Handreach Clan", you see, who believe that emulating humans is a good idea since humans dominate most areas of the known world. The tribe lives in a forest north of here called Old Hollow and they deal with about three settlements in the area as well as traveling merchants! Now as to how I met 'er..."

He proceeds to tell a tale about how he had just finished defeating three bandits that had wandered too far from their camp. But he was wounded and out of healing potions. The goblin, as it turned out, was a shaman and healed him up. The two of them were fast friends, but then they got ambushed by more bandits who had found the bodies of their fallen comrades. Six bandits this time. But apparently the healer shaman could hold her own and not only summoned spirits to deal with the enemy, but had some kind of shadow magics as well is some psychic powers. The two equaled more than their sum and defeated the six bandits with ease. "She showed me around her home, but alas, she was still too young to be allowed to go out adventuring just yet. So we parted ways. But I told her to look me up soon as she's allowed. Your turn! Tell me one of your tales!"
This message was last edited by the player at 03:30, Sun 09 Feb 2020.

Rocky ponders if this goblin shaman would be someone that would one day be interested in working with the others that Lord Henry is recruiting... then again Rocky wonders if Flert is even on the list, and if she isn't... should she be added to it.

Rocky decides to speak his thoughts, "A Goblin shaman... I wonder if she will look you up when the time comes. Maybe the spirits will lead her to you. It would be kind of ironic if she walked in the door in the next few minutes. Although depending on how long ago your tale involving Flert took place, and the rate at which a goblin reaches maturity... it might be possible or it might take another year or two before she'd be ready to be an adventurer and thus seek you out."

  "I suppose it also depends on how stir crazy they get hanging around their home, but crushing bandits on your doorstep tends to take up more time than wishing your life was less boring."  Though that might be too boring for Mittens to want to have stuck around her own home.

  "Also, most of my own stories end up with 'And then I shot them with arrows' so they tend to blur together."

"Morthos must be part Bard.  Because Mittens is fascinated!"*

* If the joke wasn't clear, Fascinate is a Bardic ability in many fictions.  https://www.d20pfsrd.com/class...RD/#TOC-Fascinate-Su-

Mits is grinning.  "Wow.  Another case of monster race person being awesome.  Did Mittens suddenly wake up in 'Abundance of Monster Race Heroes World?'  So much for being raised on, 'You'll be the only Monster Race adventurer in the entire world.  No one will believe that you ever did anything good and all your efforts toward building a good reputation will be dismissed as impossible myth.'

"As for age-ism, I think that saving someone's life and taking out half a dozen bandits should qualify as proof that one is old enough to be an adventurer."

There goes Joe again, pretending like he wants to be boring.  Mits just rolls her eyes, not wanting to repeat what she's already said on the topic.

To Morthos she answers, "I'll tell you the tail of how we became a team."

Puppet show ensues!  Though Mittens' description is quite accurate, it's hard to believe just how horrifying the Antler Horror was given the silly puppet she uses to represent it...  https://www.deviantart.com/meg...kle-puppet-656116611

Morthos pays close attention to Mittens' story. "Well that's amazing.. as is your puppetshow! That's about the most signature thing I've seen for anyone!"

To Rocky, Morthos nods and says, "I'm sure she will. Flert came from a family of adventuring sorts. Heck most of her TRIBE are capable of being adventuring sorts, but hey that's goblins for ya." he looks at Mittens and shrugs. "Everyone has their own rules, but she didn't seem bothered by it. When the time is right, she'll strike out on her own."

He then looks the group over. "Now... what's the real reason you're here? I'm sure I am very interesting to you guys and all, but I'm guessing you were here for a different reason. And maybe I can help."

Rocky nods to Morthos upon hearing about Flert and her tribe. The Warforged Druid wonders if Lord Henry has heard of that tribe or not.

Rocky then explains to Morthos the nature of Lord Henry's objectives along with the papers that Lord Henry provided as the Warforged Druid wonders what Morthos' decision will be.

  "Like Rocky says. It turns out it was, in fact, you being very interesting that was a reason we were here.  Though we have been picking up other goals on the side, like getting Avery here some magical assistance for old wounds."

"Thanks for the flawless expo, Rocky.  Why, one could say that you have a steel trap mind!"

A cherub puppet reprimands Mittens, "You realize now that you've made that joke that it's open season on joking about your organic nature."

Mits slouches.  "I apologize if my joke was in poor taste."

To Joe's point, Mittens adds, "Speaking of Avery.  We were thinking maybe the two of you could team up should you choose to accept Lord Henry's offer.  Two are safer on the road than one."

Morthos grins! "I'm really all that, huh? Gee.. and to think just a couple years back, people mocked me. Well sure! I can travel with Avery."

Liberty says, "There's also someone named Honey from this town, and a rumored elf in the nearby woods protecting travelers from beast and bandit?"

Morthos says, "Oh! Yeah! Honey's my kind of gal! Which tells me she's Mittens' kind of gal! She lives here. Dunno if she'll be interested in Lord Henry's offer, but I know where to find her. The elf, well... I think he lives in the woods? I don't ever see him in town. Just find some trouble in the woods and pretend like you're trying and failing to handle it. Should draw him out like a moth to flame because he can't help it. When people need help, he shows up. He might be too shy for the direct approach of calling out for him."

Liberty asks, "You know his name?"

Morthos says, "Yeah. Arowyn. Haven't met him personally yet, but would love to so I can shake his hand."

Rocky nods in response to Joe's and Mittens' comments but frowns, as much as his face can, at Morthos' suggestion on how to find Arowyn. "Let's find and talk to Honey before we try to find Arowyn, she might know a better way to find Arowyn than through deception, which might put Arowyn off to Lord Henry's offer."

  "Thanks Morthos, the buddy system is a time honored tradition for a reason."

  He nods to Rocky "It tends to be a lot faster talking to people everyone knows the whereabouts of than the terminally shy, yeah.  Plus it's not like we're forcing anyone to take on the job.  But yeah, we're a bit... much, to have any problems where we would have to pretend we need help from one more person.  Though it would just figure such a thing happened to us if we did."

"Nuts.  If only his name were 'flies.'  We'd catch him with Honey for sure!"

Mits smiles to Morthos.  "Thanks a mil for being so helpful!  Come with!  Better chances at elf handshakes that way.  Which way to Honey?"

Unless Morthos has more spring in his step, Mits will likely wind up taking the front again with her magical neon sign.

Morthos says, "This way!" and begins walking towards center square. "This time of day, she's most likely to be entertaining the crowds at center square."

Timothius asks, "Entertaining? What does she do?"

Morthos says, "She's a sorceress, so she uses magic to entertain. But she also likes to dance."

Liberty says, "Oh! I like dancing!"

Tam looks up at Mittens. "You like entertaining people with your magic too, though you have kind of a you-specific thing with the puppets. Wonder what Honey's thing is."

Morthos says, "Well... being zany really. But I'll leave the rest as a surprise."

Up ahead, the group can see the busy center square with many a merchant selling their wares. But it is also a wide open area with a center stage where Honey is in the middle of performing a magic show for the crowd. She does the classic pulling bunny out of a tophat trick!

Rocky keeps quiet as he follows along while listening to the others.

When the group gets close enough to see the 'magic show' going on, Adrian, Buzz, and Doc head forward to watch the show while Rocky hangs back with the group and mutters somewhat sarcastically, "She seems content to use her magical abilities to entertain others. Are you sure she's a sorceress and not a bard?"

Mits isn't one to upstage a performer and dismisses her neon sign.

"I can assure you that bards do not hold a monopoly on being entertaining."

She claps and cheers for the trick.

"The vast majority of sleight-of-hand magic tricks still baffle me.  Love 'em!"

Mits unconsciously dances in place now that the thought's been implanted into her brain.

  Cantrip access means MOST arcane classes are able to casually entertain things more easily than any puppet show. And also make it easier to make a puppet show.

  Which does lead to a certain extra appeal of legitimate showmanship.  Anyone can do magic with the right bloodline or eldritch sugar daddy.  It takes practice to get a real bunny to behave itself in a real hat.

  "While Mittens may have an extreme way of showing it, good PR is very important for any person or group that can set people on fire with their mind, Rocky."

Tam giggles a little from Rocky's comment. But Mittens explains for the team what is "obvious" to most people.

Soon as it seems Honey is done an act, Morthos calls out, "Honey! Got some new people you should meet! C'mon down!"

Honey ohs and says, "OK!" she sits at the edge of the stage before hopping down to the ground and trotting over to the others. Morthos looks at Mittens. "I'd introduce you, but I feel you'd be better at that, Mittens."

Honey turns to face Mittens with a bright smile. She claps her hands and then spreads them to create jingling sparkles. "Hi! I'm Honey!"

Once introductions and reasons for being here are done, Honey agrees to helping with finding Arowyn. So far, she just seems energetic like Mittens.
This message was last edited by the player at 03:38, Sun 23 Feb 2020.

Rocky nods to Mittens and Joe in response to their statements.

Upon learning that Honey acts like Mittens, Rocky relies on the Warforge's limited facial expressions to keep a stone face upon realizing that with Honey and Morthos the party almost has three Mittens in close proximity. The druid wonders if such chaos that could ensue be enough to summon Arowyn.

Instead of voicing his curiosity, Rocky asks, "So anyone have any suggestions on how to find Arowyn?" while Doc, Adrian, and Buzz remain silent spectators.

Mits smiles at the sparkles.  "Nice!  While Mittens now feels obligated to do a complete maraca dance with exploding sparkles at the end to live up to Morthos' hype, she thinks maybe this not the time or place for such.  So she'll have to settle for something more subdued."

A puppet appears on her hand and says, "This is Mittens."

Mits smiles and nods to Rocky.  "We form a marching band!  Then, with giant banners flying that read, 'We can do this all day, Arowyn.  Come talk to the nice heroes," we march around in the tranquil forest, music blaring.  If nothing else, it'll be super fun!"

Poof!  Mits now has a full one-man-band ensemble comprised of inflatable instruments.  While she pretends to play music, the instruments don't make much sound besides the inflatable drum's soft "fwump."  (( https://youtu.be/9cxkxCNpr44?t=29 ))

  "I either don't have any better ideas right now, or do but vastly prefer this one." Hint, it is the first thing.

  "Still, we should probably keep the noise down to a low novelty rather than invite the wrath of suddenly appearing cranky old men telling you kids to keep that dang noise down... Yes, like that"
This message was last edited by the player at 03:55, Fri 28 Feb 2020.

Rocky is not wrong. Three Mittenses is quite a bit. If you got five of them, they could gestalt-merge into sockpuppetron, who would have twin pigtail cannons attached to her head.

Morthos and Honey march along. Soon, so do the children, because, well, children.

Honey pretends to play a flute and a flute slowly materializes in her hands as she follows along with Mittens. "I like you, kitten. Not only are you wonderful and creative in and of yourself, but you keep splendiferously exotic company."

The strange performance of Mittens does get the attention of a deer. The deer trots over to the bunch and begins marching with them.

Rocky shakes his head, "Mittens... that is a terrible idea unless you are wanting to annoy Arowyn enough that even when we meet, odds are Arowyn wouldn't want to listen to us, just have the noise stop." The Warforged Druid figures that is Arowyn is as intune to nature as he is, then trying to get his attention by disturbing the forest and those who live within it is a bad idea.

When the deer shows up, Rocky looks over to Doc who speaks up, "Don't look at me. That deer is probably used to people enough that the deer expects to find food or something."

Buzz and Adrian snicker but do not voice their opinions on the matter.

"Mittens was expecting more opposition to her idea.  Yay pleasant surprises!"

"Splendif...  Splen... Splendid.  Iferous... ly.  Yeah, that!  Thanks!"

Mits grins proudly when the "wild deer" joins the group.  "The Silent Marching Band succeeds!

"Greetings, Arowyn.  Clever disguise.  As you can see, we, Adventure's Allies, are a band of fun-loving heroes.  We're on a quest to offer a quest to the heroes of the region..."

She explains the story to the deer, assuming that if this isn't Arowyn, he's somewhere in earshot.

  Expecting the Deer to be spying on them for the druid is just paranoia.  Because clearly the correct thing to expect is for the deer to be spying on them IS the druid-

  Mittens already beat him to it.  Curse you, smart kitty cat.

  "Well if she is wrong, I'm sure 'we accidentally found a deer that started beating up bandits on it's own time' would also be just fine with Henry"
This message was last edited by the player at 08:27, Fri 06 Mar 2020.

The deer turns into a male elf? half-elf? wearing moss, vines and butterflies as clothing.

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs7...c67b2894-d2rm3ab.jpg

The elf-like boy says, "Was the marching what gave it away?" thus identifying he is Arowyn.

Morthos says, "Woah cool... I wish I could shapeshift like that."

Honey says, "Now we know he's a deer."

Arowyn chuckles. "Well if your quest involves leaving this forest, it will have to be quite important."

Rocky shrugs and glances back to Arowyn and answers, "Yes, since if you were an Awakened Deer like Doc then you probably would have spoken up, if only in response to Doc saying something. Normal Deer aren't likely to march, even if coming to people for free handouts of food."

Rocky doesn't comment on Arowyn's 'clothing' as his own 'integrated protection' as a Warforged might make Mittens think that druids won't wear normal clothing. Although if someone did make that claim, Rocky will be quick to point out that his own mentor wore 'normal' elven clothing.

Mits chuckles from Joe's comment and grins at Honey's.

She nods to Rocky's explanation then shrugs to Arowyn, "What qualifies as 'quite important' is up to you.  How badly does the sharp-dressed druid need the money?  Maybe not as much as the mute harpy who'd like to buy her voice back.  How badly does he want to help Henry become a hero?  Maybe not as much as he likes staying in his woods.  But maaaybe the money and helping of a noble could go a long way toward you reaching your dreams of securing your woods from the threat of inevitable invasion.  Mittens cannot say!  What she can say is that she succeeded in relaying the offer!"

  Pattern recognition gave it away.  But also all those other things which are much less meta.

  "Well, honestly we're giving the sales pitch out of professional courtesy at this point.  Not everyone is going to have a pressing reason to take up the offer, or a free enough schedule to do so even if they wanted to."

Liberty says, "Actually, we have very good reason to try to get people to go to Henry. Did you all forget we get paid for every hero he gets coming to him? Sure, you don't HAVE to persuade people, but for every person that doesn't get convinced, that's 100 less gold we earn."

Avery, Morthos, Honey and Arowyn all look at Liberty.

Liberty says, "What? We get paid to do a service. If we don't do our job, our pay gets docked. And expenses add up; for every bit we fail to earn, we run the risk of not having the funds to continue doing our job."

Arowyn says, "I would be happy to help if people are in need of help. I don't know how going will help a mute harpy get her voice back, but that is a thing I would do if the harpy deserved such."

Avery scratch-scratches into a parchment, "I want voice. But don't wanna leave nice people." She hugs Mittens' arm to emphasize her point.

Arowyn looks Rocky over. Then Tam. Then Buzz, Doc, and Adrian. He is happy to see a fellow lover of nature, but is confused by Rocky's appearance (the others at least make perfect sense to Arowyn). "Aside from seeking me, what were your plans?"

Honey says, "I was just performing a magic show when these magnificently eccentric people came and asked me if I wanted to play find the elf druid with them!"

Morthos says, "I'm their recruit for the Lord Henry thing. Or something. Honestly, more traveling with them because they're cool. And wild. Yeah."

Timothius giggles.
This message was last edited by the player at 20:19, Tue 24 Mar 2020.

Rocky notices Arowyn's confusion with regards to him as he's dealt with it numerous times in the past so it's easy for him to recognize the 'what the heck is that guy' look. "I doubt you've seen a member of my race before. My race isn't that common in these parts, and I was found and raised by a druid when I first awoke, so I have a greater affinity towards nature than most of my race."

Rocky doesn't feel like mentioning the name of his race since Warforged doesn't sound that friendly. Instead, he addresses why he is traveling with the group,"I joined up with the others since there is safety in numbers and there is still much about the natural world I have yet to learn and would be unable to learn if I remain secluded in the woods where I was trained."

"Mittens is surprised that Liberty is worried about finances, especially in light of the fact that we've already earned enough to last a very long time.  Nevertheless she has a point.  The more we earn, the more we'll we'll have to generously give to the needy or some other heroic cause."

Mits smiles at Arowyn.  "How noble!  Then that settles it.  'cause your going will help, and she is worthy.

"Mittens' simple plan is to travel about and help folks in need as she finds them.  Meeting awesome people is icing on the cake!"

  "I mean, yeah it makes sense Liberty.  Adventuring is insanely expensive and most of your assets end up tied up in your gear keeping you from not dying.  But if you come out and say 'Hey, I'd like to actually get paid' somehow you are worse than the bandits feeding people to their pet monster."

  He shrugs, "Still, there is a difference between not convincing somebody to help people in spot A compared to Spot B, and people crying 'But saying how could I ever thank you was a figure of speech!' after all the hard work is over."

  Plus it doesn't sound good to admit out loud that pretending you don't care about getting paid is one of the top ways to get unpaid help from those who actually don't care about not getting paid.

Arowyn ohs at Rocky and nods to him.

Liberty gets angry. "If people wanna think that bad of you guys for getting paid, then they deserve the bad stuff happening to them!"

Timothius says, "Just a reminder, but people don't all think the same. Some might think bad of us, but those who don't might simply be timid and their voices not heard, yet they are innocent and being hurt. We shouldn't let those who are bad be the voice for the quiet innocent."

Morthos says, "It's usually the villains who have the loudest voice. That's why I like roaring louder in the face of villainy and shutting them up with a smack to the face!"

Avery smiles brightly and nodnods.

Arowyn says, "Very well then. I will travel with the harpy to ensure she gets her voice back. And I will credit you bunch for sending us to Lord Henry."

He looks back to Rocky. "Some day, I would love to explore nature with you. For the near future, however, it seems I must travel on a different path."

Rocky remains quiet while listing to the discussion about if it is wrong to ask to be paid for one's services but since no one is asking him about his opinion on the matter, he remains silent since he honestly doesn't have an opinion on the matter.

When Arowyn mentions how he'd like to explore nature at some point in time with him, Rocky nods and replies, "I look forward to such a journey. But I do understand why our paths must diverge for now, but they should eventually meet up again."

As one of those who's in it for the adventure and not the gold, Mits smiles and rolls her eyes at the severe arg over people who don't pay their tabs.

"My friends!  Think of it as a game of whack-a-mole.  Whenever a mole pops out of the ground to say, 'I shan't pay!  Begone!'  Then you can bop 'em on the head!  Super fun!

"And as Morthos suggested, there's other fun options too.  When she was a child, Mittens was promised a pie for dealing with the rats at the mill.  All day she toiled, but eventually the sack o' rats was so big, Mittens' little hands could barely drag it to the mean ole' Miller's bakery as proof of her deed.

"'I made no such promise, you dishonest child!  Begone!' Mr. Miller said.  Mittens answered, 'Oh?  Then you can have your rats back!'  And there, with his customers witnessing, she dumped the sack, and the rats scattered, causing such an uproar as has never before been witnessed there!  He snatched up a staff and chased Mittens, but she was too fast!  Dad saw this and knocked him out!  From then on, his new name was Ratface Bentnose in town.  Mittens so enjoys whack-a-mole!  The price to play is worth it."

Mits smiles at Arowyn.  "Thankies!  And perhaps you shall the reason that the new noble hero, Henry, learned such respect for nature that when the Greatwyrm Malignus threatened to light the forest on fire, the hero offered up his entire fortune to gather together such an army of dragon-slayers as has never been assembled before to defend the woods!"
This message was last edited by the GM at 03:11, Tue 07 Apr 2020.

  Wow, you have to be extra petty to not want to pay for Ye Olde Catch Some Rats Quest.  Usually the worst is some twist like it turning out those rats were needed alive for science, or there is one large size category rat, or whatever.

  "One of the most important things about Spite is learning when it's the best time to use it, yeah.  Though normally people use more acceptable terms, like the power of friendship."

And with that, three more are crossed off the list (Morthos, Honey and Arowyn). The new group head out with Avery to go for Lord Henry's place and wave goodbye to the heroes.

The sun sets, though. The group has the option of camping in the woods they just found Arowyn at. Or they can go back to Charlton (a whopping five to ten minute walk) and stay at the inn.

As both a Druid who loves nature and a Warforged that doesn't truly sleep, Rocky doesn't care which option the group decides upon although he'd probably stay outside with his animal and plant companions to keep them company. "It doesn't matter which option we use, since if we went to the inn, Doc would have to stay in the stables, most likely along with Buzz and Adrian. I'd probably remain with them since I don't need to sleep in the way others do when resting."

Mits chuckles about the Power of Friendship being substituted for Spite.  She can think of quite a few stories from her childhood.  When she left home to strike out for Adventure, many in town rejoiced while others wept.

Avery and the others are given a smiley sendoff.

"Comfy beds are comfy, but camping is fun.  Enjoying the great outdoors with awesome Druid friends is perfectly fine with Mittens.  Some day Mittens will learn the 'summon comfy cottage' spell and get the best of both worlds.  Or maybe a mobile cottage that walks on chicken legs?"
This message was last edited by the GM at 16:31, Fri 01 May 2020.

  "Look, Mittens. I get the reference but contrary to more popular children's tales, she probably can't be swayed by exotic desserts."  Baba Yaga, Never as cool as in Quest For Glory.

  "That said? We should take advantage of inn stays because we don't even get a choice while traveling.  I like Rocky and his pals, but the inconvenience of a less fancy roof over their head is still a step up compared to no choice at all."

It is unsurprising the druid in training Tam is perfectly fine with outdoors like Rocky.

However, ironically, Timothius prefers having a roof for the reasons Joe just gave, but Liberty prefers camping for the reasons Mittens just gave.

None of the children speak up about it, though, since all of them feel Joe's point is likely too good a point to ignore.

Timothius giggles from Mittens' comment about Baba Yaga's hut, though.

Liberty asks, "Why chicken legs? I never understood that. Why not dog legs or cat legs?"

Rocky glances at Liberty and says, "If we ever meet Baba Yaga, you can ask her. Although I am not sure you'd be happy if the answer turned out to be 'why not' or 'because I could' or 'because it amuses me'."

Rocky doesn't feel like arguing about where to stay since it doesn't really matter to him.

"Inn it is, then!"

Mits grins at Lib.  "She tried dog legs.  Her hut kept chasing it's own back door.  She tried cat legs, and her hut got stuck up in a tree.  Why did she settle on chicken legs?  To get to the other side of the road."

  "I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up finding the lost doglegged toolshed of Baba Yaga.  Famous practitioners of magic leave their stuff laying around all the time, it wouldn't be the stupidest sounding thing to be true"

  One more night in civilization it is... Granted, a commonly used road counts more like civilization being invaded by wildlife regardless of being made of dirt or stone.

The comments from Mittens and Joe make the children giggle. To Mittens, Timothius says between laughter, "That makes so much sense!"

Liberty nods to Rocky. "You're right. I wouldn't be happy if that was her answer."

Back in town, the group is easily able to secure a room / rooms. Tam follows Rocky wherever he goes, though, so if he does in fact join Adrian, Buzz and Doc in the stables, so will Tam.

Liberty, of course, follows Joe. And Timothius sticks with Mittens.

Liberty makes the point that the group could ask if Rocky, Adrian, Buzz, Doc and Tam could get a room. And if it is asked, the innkeeper doesn't care as long as the group has coin.

Night approaches as the team gets fed an evening meal. The fireplace of the inn is lit.

A few approach the team for a couple reasons. Some are curious about Rocky's companions. Others are curious about Rocky. Others still are curious about Mittens and Timothius. All of them are just curious, really.
This message was last edited by the GM at 04:05, Sat 09 May 2020.

When the innkeeper offers to rent a room for Buzz, Doc, Adrian, Tam, and himself Rocky glances at the others and Rocky can Buzz and Doc both state that while unexpected, it is a nice change of pace, so Rocky provides the money for the room with Doc and Buzz curling up on the floor in the warmest part of the room while Adrian stays closer to the window while Rocky sits in a chair simply resting and observing since he doesn't need to actually sleep.

Mits smiles to have made the kids laugh.

"Mordenkaiden is more than welcome to leave a wand or three of magic mansion laying around for me to find," Mits answers Joe, "And I can't say I'd be very surprised if entering a Tomb of Doom that I find an annihilation skull or three.  'Those were meant to kill sticky-fingered intruders!'  'Well they figured out you can use mage hand to move them around and have weaponized them against the giant ancient evil it took us a lifetime to awaken, you moron!'"

Later at bed time, Mits comments to Timothius, "Having a warforged in the team sure is handy for all those kobold ninja ambushes that happen at inns where everyone assumes it fine to not have a rotating watch."

  Joe doesn't think his luck would allow 'A sphere of annihilation has NO weight, therefore falls under the five point limit!' to work, but would not be surprised if someone else got away with it either.

  "The reason nobody worries about the mythical kobold ninja ambushes is because they cheat so much it doesn't matter what you do, Mittens.  Now, REGULAR ninjas? Reasonable precaution."

Timothius smiles and nods to Mittens, then looks at Joe curiously, perking his kitty ears. "Oh.. gosh. Well I guess we should learn how they cheat and add that to our bag of tricks."

He yawns, kisses Mitts' cheek, and curls up to sleep.

Liberty says, "Even if the ninja kobolds cheat... we'll hit 'em so hard, it won't matter. But I like the idea of stealing enemy tricks and using it against 'em..."

She yawns, but is fighting sleep a little. However, she does eventually conk out.

Tam is curling up next to Doc and Buzz. She puts a bed roll down to make the floor softer and smiles at them, giving both of them gentle pets.

The night is uneventful for the most part. Rocky is able to hear the people who walk about at night. The bar does close at midnight, though, so the tavern itself is quiet for five hours before the barkeep gets up and gets things ready. But between midnight and 5 A.M., Rocky does hear people outside. A drunk yelling at his wife and kid. A couple people having a conversation, but it is too distant to make out what is being said. But all of it dies out and gives way to the morning bustle without any screams or cries for help.

In the morning, when the group gathers for breakfast, the waitress seems preoccupied with something and has a bruise on her left cheek. She snaps out of it whenever it is time to take orders and persists in trying to smile for the group.
This message was last edited by the GM at 19:35, Tue 26 May 2020.

As Rocky listens to the sounds around the tavern/bar throughout the night, he quietly sighs as he prefers the sounds of nature and almost wishes for rain since the sound of rainfall is soothing to him, despite how ironic that might seem to some people given how some people think that a Warforged would rust or something.

When the waitress comes to the room, Rocky turns to look at her and quickly notices the bruise on her left cheek and asks somewhat bluntly due to his concern, "I have some herbalist supplies that could help with that bruise on your cheek. What, or more likely, who caused it and why?"

When orders are requested for breakfast, Buzz, Doc, and Rocky request a fruit-based dish, while Adrian is content with just freshwater since she's already sitting in the sunlight coming in through the window.

Mits was satisfied with the kids' answers.  She has yet to find evidence that this world hates her so much that she can't use the same tricks monsters do.  Outside obviously off-limits stuff like using infernal magic to mind-control teleporting doggies to randomly bite people.  Note to self: learn how to use intimidate to force captured enemies to work for self.

Mittens sleeps with the window closed and locked, so she didn't wake up to mage hand slap the drunk.

At breakfast, in a matter-of-fact tone, Mittens rants, "Mittens is puzzled by the bruised cheek, but figures the lass has every right to pretend it doesn't exist.  After all, if this is a simple case of spouse abuse, that's the responsibility of locals to handle.  They rarely do, so when Mittens was younger she'd involve herself in such things.  Learned really quick that giving the abuser a taste of his own medicine does absolutely no good at all in the long run since nobody's willing to follow through with keeping the nasty behavior in check.  At best you get reprimanded by the victim and family members for 'making matters worse.'  But more likely you get a mob chasing you for, 'assaulting innocent folk for no reason, you little brat.'

"And if she's being mysteriously slapped in the night by some poltergeist, she's got every opportunity to complain to the obvious adventurers right under her nose."

"Pancakes and/or waffles with a side of cheesy eggs and bacon.  Mittens likes having luxurious noms while in town."

  Joe is also incredibly proud of the kids wanting to chase that futile dream of telling the universe 'But I learned it from youuuuuu'. Not the most responsible life path, but sometimes it gets the job done... Or sometimes the universe gives a desperate shrug.

  Speaking of desperate shrugs, Joe refrains from doing so physically, merely metaphorically.  "Still makes more sense than people complaining they were not eaten alive by a sixty foot long monster."

Tam eats off the table, but after a few bits, joins Buzz on the floor and pets him. Then checks on Doc, also petting him... then waters Adrian with a soft smile on her face. It isn't that Buzz, Doc and Adrian can't feed themselves. It is just that Tam loves tending to them and giving them a little love now and then. She briefly notices the bruise people are pointing out, then gives Mittens a weirded out look when she hears what Mittens has to say. Weirded out like.. no longer wants to have anything to do with bruised lady. So she keeps to Buzz/Doc/Adrian.

Timothius blushes from what Mittens says, but also gets a touch angry. Because he remembers some of what she is talking about and how angry it made him. "The people are what make matters worse... not you, Mittens. I get not helping people who don't want to be helped, but now that you are an adventurer with an adventuring team, townsfolk are not going to chase you anymore unless they have a death wish."

Liberty double-takes at Timothius, not used to the gentle catboy talking so... aggressive. She then looks at Joe. "What's that called again? Stockholm syndrome?"

The waitress says to Rocky, "Thank you for the kind offer, sir. It was my husband as your cat friend indicated, since you asked. I'll get your orders and if you have those herbs for me when I get back, I'll be happy to have you apply them."

She walks away.

Rocky nods to the waitress before she walks off and starts sifting through his herbal supplies so that by the time she returns he'll have the herbal poultice ready for her to apply on her bruise. "While I wish there was more I could do for her, given the situation I doubt there is much we can do, wouldn't be surprised if her husband turned out to be a local sheriff or something giving how our luck can go. But Mittens is right, this is something for the locals to deal with unless the situation changes into one we have to deal with. Like if her abusive husband turned out to be a crime lord or something we have to take out to save the town... which I doubt is the case. After all, why would a crime lord have his abused wife working as a waitress."

Rocky glances over to Joe and realizes something as he adds, "That was more of a rhetorical question since I don't actually need a contrived situation for why that would occur." While Rocky does not claim to be an expert on people he has figured out that some people would come up with a contrived example for the same reason canines and felines lick themselves... because they can...and often find such contrived examples amusing... but this isn't the time since it might jinx something for all Rocky knows.
This message was last edited by the player at 23:40, Thu 10 Dec 2020.

Mittens assumes Joe is talking about cultists.  She remains quiet until the waitress has left.  "Thank you for being the actually helpful one, Rocky."

She considers Timothius' point.  "You tempt me, Timothius.  My first thought is to put on a puppet show to publicly humiliate the guy, but then I remember just how much kids laugh at the Punch and Judy show.  So that idea could backfire and make the guy a folk hero...

"My other thought is to tell the townsfolk that we examined him with our magics and found out that he's been possessed by an imp.  The imp is the kind that will return over and over.  You can tell it has returned by when the man gets violent.  The only way to get rid of the imp each time is to spank him 12 times with a paddle made of cedar.  The longer the imp is allowed to remain inside, the more likely it is to force him eat children."

  "Stockholm syndrome is when you sympathize with your captor.  This is more like 'Well I can't be made at my captor anymore so I'll be mad at you instead!' lashing out like a frightened baby. Which would be more sympathetic if they would never have been in any danger if they had that angry mob energy in the first place."

  He understands Mitten's temptation to use needlessly fearful townsfolk logic against them, but says "They would just let them do whatever they want in that case, and then start beating people who they didn't like claiming they were possessed by an imp.  Unlike your dramatic stories where people curse how they underestimated someone, turns out a lot of problems are caused by overestimating people."

Liberty holds up the list. "Next locations are Bright Wood, Newville, and Newerville. Brightwood has a mysterious unknown person helping them. Newville has a... kender? named Chestnut who sings exaggerated, unbelievable stories. Newerville has a kobold named May who slew... a dragon? Geez, if that story is believable, I wonder what this Chestnut guy sings about. We decided on where we are going next?"

Timothius and Tam are silent on that since that's more for grownups to decide.

Rocky's eyes dim slightly for a moment which is the closest the warforged comes to 'blinking' like normal people as he thinks 'Newville and Newerville.... so what next a Newestville? Someone really stinks at naming things...'

Rocky speaks up as his eyes shift back to their normal intensity, "I may be slightly biased as a Druid, but Bright Wood sounds more interesting to me. As for the Kobold, there are many things that are technically a dragon that could be killed and then claimed to have killed a dragon. Fairy Dragons, Lantern Dragons, and Psuedodragons are three examples of small creatures that are still technically dragons."

"While Joe may be right, Mittens still wishes she knew the flesh to puppet spell.  Transform abusive face's right hand and forearm into a big silly floppy puppet, with the solemn warning, 'When we return, if you've been using your left arm for abuse, that one too will become a silly puppet.'  Even if this means he starts resorting to kicks, Mittens would at least have the satisfaction of seeing a mean guy reduced to having two silly puppet arms."

Mits opens up the map of the area and points at the nearest looking place.  "I vote for there.  We should hit every location eventually, so order should be based on maximum convenience."
This message was last edited by the GM at 07:38, Mon 04 Jan 2021.

  "Brightwood does seem like it wins the 'it is closer' lazy shrug award, and as much as anything it would be more informative than the places where we actually know what people are about already." Even if Joe's player is very for who he thinks is the dragon slaying kobold. Alas, in character logic.

Liberty and Timothius both giggle from the Flesh to Puppet comment.

Tam blinks in shock at the thought and seems to be trying to process the idea. She is thankful that the group votes for Bright Wood.

Timothius looks up at Rocky. "Fair points about the dragon. But don't be worried about being biased for the forest... we did recently do things in a city, didn't we?"

Soon, the group is underway to Bright Wood!
(Fast Forward)

As the group approaches Bright Wood, there is a vast empty space where a forest should be. Even the dirt seems to be missing to where there is a slope all along the edges that lead down about 45 feet down.

Rocky looks at the area where the forest should be and asks, "What happened here? I know people can misplace things but an entire forest? We are in the right location for a forest and not a strip mine quarry. It almost looks as if the forest was shunted someplace else... but what magic could do that?"

Rocky really has no clue how the forest and the ground it was growing out of has vanished. Buzz, Adrian, and Doc remain silent as they don't even know what to say as they are literally speechless at seeing a 'forest gone missing'.

Mittens stares in awe.

"I've heard of missing persons, but missing place is a new one.  Let's see what happens when ye olde pebble is tossed in there."

She tosses a pebble into the empty place.

The pebble falls and bounces off the slope a few times before finally coming to a natural stop at the bottom. In other words, the pebble acted normal. As did the empty space.

  Joe's feelings about this are going to be skewed by if the fate of the forest (and... really everything in the general area) was taken for practical use, or something as lazy as they are powerful deciding it was simply convenient.

  "I think the more nitpicky question is 'what could do this quickly'.  Because even a bunch of peasants with shovels could have done this eventually, but I somehow doubt mass haste on a labor gang is how this went down"

  ...Joe double checks for any out of place tracks anyways.

The children are as slackjawed as Mittens. Tam is... horrified and cuddles Doc.

Joe is unable to see any tracks in the immediate area aside from the normal tracks one would expect to be on the road.

The group can see a person off in the distance who is on the road and headed towards the group in a jog. He looks human.

When he gets within hearing distance, he calls out, "Hail! Hail! I am Jordon! Who goes there?!"

Rocky turns to Jordan after the human introduces himself. The warforged druid then replies with quick introductions for himself and the group before asking, "Do you know what happened to the forest that should be here?"

Jordan answers, "...sort of? It was the darndest thing you ever saw. The whole forest began to glow brightly and then it vanished! Then a strong wind blew towards where the forest once was! After that, well... I saw the crater you now see, but there was a young lady in the middle of it. She was human, had white hair, and some kind of cyan-blue clothes. I wasn't about to go greet her, given what happened, but I saw her head east." he points eastward.

Okay, so Joe's assumptions right now are a coinflip for if some kind of nature princess got missed in an elaborate kidnapping attempt, or very violently declared they were going on vacation.

"Right, given you were close enough to see it happen at the time. How many people and towns around here relied on this forest for their livelihoods?"

Jordan says, "Rely on it? None. The woods were protected by the elves or some such, so the woods was mostly just used as a vacation resort on occasion? But I know there is a settlement on the other side of the crater..."

Rocky looks at Jordan and then at the crater and says, "I suspect we'll have to travel to the settlement Jordan spoke of to try to get more information, assuming someone there knows something about what has transpired." Rocky doesn't bother to voice the two crazy theories he has since neither seems plausible to him. These two theories are one, that the elves who guard this forest moved it to another location to protect it from something... And the second is that someone else moved the forest to displace the elves for some reason. Possibly to banish them, or imprison them. But neither situation makes any sense to the warforged druid. For the first, what could threaten a forest to the point that beings powerful enough to move the forest would, instead of dealing with the threat. And for the second, why move the entire forest just to get at some of its inhabitants if your strong enough to do that then you could just displace the people and not let them roam around that forest since they would likely be content in there so that wouldn't make for much of a prison.

"Sounds like the incarnation of a star," Mittens muses, "Only, it went East instead of directly to the nearest settlement to wreak indiscriminate destruction, so...  Maybe not.  Maybe more like the arrival of an Archfey.  You saw it happen?  What date did it happen on?  What time of night was it?  Clear skies?  No moon?  Any soothsayers grumbling about ill omens or weird stuff happening with the fauna in the area like sheep randomly attacking dogs?"

Jordan says, "Woah... one question at a time! I'm sure you adventuring folk are sharp enough to remember a dozen questions thrown at you and then answer them all somehow, but I'm not. I saw it happen a couple days ago. Mid-day. I don't remember anything about clouds, skies, or... sheep attacking dogs? What?"

"Priorities over what seems important at the time often gets skewed the longer you are out adventuring, this is true. That said, what brings you back to this big hole days later, Jodran? Hoping you'll figure out something new, or just that hard to avoid walking past a hole the size of a forest when you live around here."

Jordan says, "...there is still a very viable vacation spot over that way. So my folks and I are camping there." he points at some other nearby woods.

Rocky asks, "Is there anyone else staying at this vacation spot other than your folks and yourself? We might need to talk with them to learn what they saw, or if they have heard anything about what happened, or why it happened."

Rocky tries to ignore Mittens' 'ramblings and rapid questions' since while the druid suspects she is trying to help and gather information quickly, now is not really the time for such antics since they seem to be overwhelming Jordan.

"Mits is stumped.  Mid day?  Hrm.  Starting to think that maybe this was some sort of magical accident.  All the forest related cataclysms happen at night with clear omens in the stars or moon."

An elf puppet appears on her hand.  "I'm the elf archmage's apprentice and I want to impress her with how smart I am!  Knock spell!  Oh lookie!  It opened the door to the forbidden ritual chamber.  Wow.  What a neat looking ritual circle!  Looks nearly complete.  Teacher will be super proud of me when I simply connect these lines to finish the ritual for her...  Summonentireforestintochamber!"

"Come to think of it, this may be why archmages like to locate their magical towers in remote places."

  Even though he is traveling with several people a lot more excited about rolling around in nature than he ever was, Joe is somehow surprised anyone would consider camping out in the woods in medieval fantasy land a vacation instead of work.

  "Well, as long as you are sure your family is safe." There, now Joe doesn't have to feel guilty if the SECOND forest gets sucked into the sky... Okay so he'd still feel bad about it.

Jordan says to Joe, "Well the person I described went the opposite direction, so... I'd rather not go back to town for now anyway, since that is the direction she went."

He points in the eastern direction he indicated earlier. "You are welcome to question my family if you like, but you'll only get the same answers."

Rocky figures the group has two options now, track down the female human with white hair and cyan-colored clothes to the east, or question Jordan's family and get the same answers over again by traveling to the west... "It is probably better if we head east after the female human that Jordan described, as she might have headed to the nearby town. If she isn't there then we could search for more clues, but it seems that she is our only lead on what happened to the forest right now."

Mits gazes in the direction of the town.  "No sign of the town burning down.  Or people fleeing.  So, here's hoping that's a good sign and not an indicator that we'll arrive on a scene of an empty town populated by empty sets of clothes.  Here's hoping she's not something that slurps up people like drinks.  Thanks for the info, sir!"

She begins heading in the direction that the mystery girl went.  "Onward to adventure!"

  "We should probably not bother your family with questions too, unless you wanted us to I guess." Jordan is not the first, and will not be the last to have to put up with a wandering horde of eccentric people.

  Joe follows after adventure kitty.

With that, the group is able to get to the town to the East. The people there don't seem to be in a panic and are going about their daily business. But there is a small crowd gathered at the front of the constabulary.

Timothius asks a nearby kid, "What's going on over there?"

The kid answers, "The constable is talking with the white-haired lady and those people wanna watch."

Rocky observes what is occurring and says, "I just hope the talking remains peaceful. We have our own questions we'd like to ask, and perhaps the constable is asking the same questions so we should head over to listen. Also if violence starts to break out we can try to aid the constable in preventing escalation, assuming the constable isn't the one resorting to violence... in which case we would need to remind him that it would be a poor example to the community for law enforcement to break the law." Rocky then 'blinks' and wonders if hanging around Joe is rubbing off on him.

"Eep!" Mits exclaims, immediately assuming that the town guard will be stupid enough to provoke the Archfey into destroying the town.

She runs over to the constable and mystery lady, silly puppet at the ready to try and disarm the tense situation.

 Joe really hopes this lady does not end up one of those 'lots of naive questions phrased in the most menacing way possible' sorts. That is always so much worse than doing it on purpose, and Joe's bad habits are in no way biasing that opinion.

  "...We really should talk to Mittens about making sure to not open up with the frog puppets. Someone might mistake it for a snake and assume she is a Yuan-ti trying to bite them with snake arms."

Upon getting over to the Constable, the group is able to see this girl:
https://www.deviantart.com/tim...nbow-dress-623406820

(Image of the constable:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals...0b302e9120a7122b.jpg )

Bethany says, "..and so I thought I'd come over here!"

The constable notices the adventurers and says, "Oh! Adventurers!" and waves them over. "You wouldn't by chance happen to be looking for this girl, would you...?"

As a result, Bethany turns her attention to the group. She smiles brightly and waves. "You were looking for me?! Yay!"

The constable sweatdrops.

Rocky looks at Bethany and upon hearing her seem happy that adventurers may be looking for her he responds with, "It would be more accurate to say we are looking to have the 'missing forest' restored from where ever it has been moved to. You may have already told the Constable the answer to this question, but since we just arrived here it is worth repeating. Do you know what happened to the forest and how to restore it?" Given how Rocky is a druid, it shouldn't be surprising that right now he's focused on trying to restore the 'damage' to the environment.

Bethany says, "Oh! Don't worry, the forest is quite alright. Although I am currently going by the name of Bethany Bright, I am in fact that forest you are looking for. See; I am an enchanted forest. And a while back I thought: I'd really like to try out being human! So... that's what I'm doing now!"

Mits and her puppet both jaw-drop.  "'I am the forest you're looking for,' is not the answer Mittens was expecting.  Is...  Is there some way to verify that?"

"Use your skills in magic, Mittens!" the puppet suggests.

"Oh!  Right.  Yeah.  I can...  blind myself with a simple spell that looks at magical things...  Sounds like an awesome idea!"

Mits uses detect magic.  This is part of why it's not always certain when she's being sarcastic.

Although Mittens isn't blinded, the concentration of magic in Bethany is immense. Like someone took an enchanted forest and condensed it to the size of a human.

Even while Mittens is doing that, Bethany summons a treant puppet and has it talk to her in a deep voice (but still sounds like a girl making a deep voice), "How can Bethany prove she is a forest? Well... becoming a forest would do it, sure, but then all these people would lose their town. And condensing into a person again would make them vanish into Bethany. Sprouting tree limbs would just prove that you have the power to sprout tree limbs..."

The treant puppet looks at the others. "...suggestions?"

Rocky looks at Bethany and her antics and wonders if she is related to Mittens somehow. Rocky then says, "Why not return to the center of the crater that was the forest's original location...Turn back into a forest there as it wouldn't displace anything else. Also would doing so release anyone who was trapped within you when you turned into a person? After all, you said if you did the transformation here people would vanish into you... has this previously happened and can such people be restored?"

Rocky isn't sure if he will believe Bethany but he figures this is an easy way to verify her claims, and possibly rescue anyone who vanished when the forest 'disappeared'.

As Bethany talks, her words appear above her in a speak bubble as she says, "I could do that, as long as people promise not to enter me so I can change right back. Though.. changing back and forth isn't exactly easy. And don't worry... I made sure nobody besides the flora and fauna were inside me when I changed into a human. And they don't mind."

She reaches up to draw an underline under the promise part of her speech and smiles. "OK? So when we're done that, and you all see I really am an enchanted forest made human... will you let me travel with you so I can get the human experience?"

  Actual concern for collateral damage already puts this situation so far above the normally low bar it has entered the celestial plane.

  "Right, gotta say I'm inclined to skip straight to that second part. If she is the forest she's changing right back, and if she isn't actually a forest then basically the same end result." The fact it means not being in the same fantasy zip code as being telefragged might have something to do with that, nevermind that Bethany would have a more long term chance to do that to them if she hung out with the party even Joe's cynicism needs time to reach point F on the 'horrible things' list.

Mits gazes in wonder at Bethany.  "Although Mittens isn't blinded, the concentration of magic in Bethany is immense.  Like someone took an enchanted forest and condensed it to the size of a human.  I believe you!  Would love to have you join us!  Also, I think it cute you spoke in third person and through a puppet and made speak bubbles appear!  Also, it very good you're concerned for people's safety!  Mittens would love to some day explore the magical Bethany woods.  But will promise not to do so during your transformation demonstration.  If that kinda wild-shaping isn't too much trouble for you."

It takes the magical equivalent of an oil tanker to wild shape an entire forest into a person.  And just as much to change back.  Four oil tankers of mana will have been burned through in this day, contributing a million tonns of emissions to fantasy climate change.

"So what is it about the human experience that intrigues you?  Why not saaaay, the catfolk experience, half-elf experience, or maybe warforged experience?"

Rocky knows how the rest of the group has decided to act in this situation, but as a druid, Rocky isn't sure how a forest uprooting itself magically and turning itself into a humanoid will affect the area as surrounding lands do impact each other and with the forest 'vanishing' the surrounding lands are now unable to get what they previously acquired from the forest, and likewise what the forest took from them will no longer be taken. While mostly this will deal with animals migrating or feeding, but it also applies to insects pollinating flowers and similar dependencies.
However, it would also be wrong to try and force Bethany to give up her existence as a humanoid for what might be... although the situation can and would change if problems with the lands start to occur and are traced back to the disappearance of the forest.

Bethany claps her hands cheerfully at the decision of the party to let her stay human. "Thanks! I'm glad you like my mystical worrrrrds! Why human? The birds told me they are the most common folk in the lands, so if I wanted the most out of my travels, I should be human. And you can explore me any time you want. But now that you mention the catfolk experience, how would you say it differs from the human experience?"

  "There is seemingly a lot more third person narration if you are a cat person, but that could just be a Mittens thing." Answering the most important questions first as always, Joe.

"Yer welcome!  And I guess the birdies have a good point.  Mittens has never been human that she's aware of to give a personal example, but judging from what she's observed in humans, I'd say overall they're more adaptable, skilled, durable, ambitious...  Hmm.  I guess if you were to sum up all the benefits of all the races, take the average, then add 1 to the result, you'd get the average human.  But then the average human is anything but average.  Rather, they're perfectly suited to the thing they specialize in.

"Speaking in third person is a Mittens thing.  Being nimble is a catfolk thing.  Though 'meow' vs. 'nyan' is kindofa thing you're born with like eye color from what I've seen.  Mittens says both like those born with heterochromia."
This message was last edited by the GM at 05:21, Sun 08 Aug 2021.

Rocky listens to the discussion going on and says, "At least that is their opinion on the human experience. Ask someone else and you'll get a different answer. There are those who view humans like cockroaches as they are all over the place and can be undesirable. And others would view humans as a plague due to how they spread and can be harmful to the land if they aren't careful. Often a human population can grow to an unsustainable size and is forced to move elsewhere, split apart, or find other means of sustaining itself. I've seen that the average person is often short-sighted when it comes to plans and rarely thinks of long-term or wide-scale ramifications. But on the flipside, there are others who always play the long game and do consider what unintended side effects can occur. Humanity is as diverse as the views about it."

Rocky then asks the others and wonders what the group will do next.

Bethany says to the group, "On all your commentary on humanity, thanks! It all sounds so nifty and exciting!"

Bethany then answers Rocky, "I'd like to get to exploring the world and learning what it means to be a person!"

The others present are watching to see what the adventurers will do. Though it is clear some are offended by what Rocky said even if he wasn't saying those things were *his* opinion.
This message was last edited by the player at 23:34, Thu 28 Apr 2022.

  Normally this would be the part where Joe points out most nature themed beings are far more parasitic to the natural environment and determined to twist it to their will on a whim than Humans, dwarves, and assorted 'mere mortals'.

  Except they are (seemingly) standing right next to a very large example of that, so it will probably take a bit more lead up for Joe to default back to that particular category of sass. And hey, maybe they actually mean it about the whole 'learn to be a person' thing and are not just using it as a pretense to judge mortals for acting like mortals instead of immortal cosmic beings who can just flex a mariachi band into existence.

  So instead of any of that inner monologue exposition, the party gets a cheap throwaway comment. "Have you considered 'Meyan', Mittens?"

(reminder for Mittens to post)

Mits chuckles from Joe's suggestion.  "Meyes!  Meyittens has imdyeed... OK that's enough of that."

She smiles at Rocky.  "What you described sounds like an slime colony infused with chaotic eldrich intelligence!  Makes me wish I were human."

Mits nods to Beth.  "Let's get going, so these actual humans can get back to their inscrutable plans!"

Rocky replies to Bethany, "I wouldn't be surprised if an actual eldritch intelligence would claim that they created humans or some other race by doing that, simply to see what reaction they would get."

Rocky then turns to Mittens and asks, "And what inscrutable plan would that be this time?"