Luskan. The cesspool of the Faerûn continent. Currently winter, the homeless have been especially violent in competition for the warmest place to sleep. Bodies are becoming too tough even for starving dogs. This is a standard winter for Luskan and currently, the place is ruled by sea pirates who raided the place and killed the last leader of Luskan just 2 weeks ago.

  Luskan, the sort of place where a 'Weather Stained Cloak' involves light scorching from the occasional acid dripping down courtesy of the floating island above.  Joe wondered what this latest batch of pirate's stances were on urban zombie occupation?  Probably the same old 'eh, not where WE live' outlook.

  Though, the fact such horrors and hardship were becoming samey was a sign that it was probably soon time for Joe to leave.  After all, it wouldn't be much survival practice when it could all be done drunk and half asleep if need be.

A shrouded, bulky but somewhat short figure is walking through the streets, wearing that classic chinese bamboo hat, but with a hood and veil as well. Too thin to be a dwarf as most of the bulk is likely the massive winter clothes, though definitely the right height for one at 4' 6", the figure is holding a staff in one hand as the stranger seems to walk silently. Whoever they are, they don't look like a local.

The figure is headed straight for the local bar, where the pirate's first mate and a bunch of the crew happen to be hanging out.

  Despite prior claims, Joe is not yet drunk or half asleep.  He is however, a cliche.  Cloaked Man Sitting In Dark Tavern Corner™.  Continuing what is slowly growing to be a running gag, he wonders if a Halfling had a Kid with a Dwarf (Or, just a tall Halfling. Average height goes up to 4' 2" after all)

Dido could totally seduce a dwarf lady because he'd be manly enough. But this isn't Dido's love child.

The stranger gets a few glances and glares from the people in the bar. The bartender says, "Passing through?" to which the stranger nods. Then the bartender responds. "Good. This place isn't healthy. Now whatchya wanna order, stranger?"

A soft, feminine and oddly accented voice (most people in this setting have never even HEARD of chinese, much less heard someone speak it or speak common with the chinese accent), "Some of your finest ale, please."

The girly voice has gotten a LOT more attention than the "I'm just a cloaked figure, minding my own business, please leave me alone" look.

  If only the height of immature reasons for such staring was 'a Girl wants to get MAN'S' BOOZE!?'

  Speaking of, Joe is currently desperately trying to figure out if he's had enough that his Conscience may start acting up.  His starting out 'too young to take seriously as a threat' grace period in Luskan had long since passed by for that sort of thing to be practical and get away with it.

The bartender, at least, seems immensely amused by the girly-voice asking for ale. "Heh... sure thing." he has also learned not to address people as "sir" or "ma'am" based solely on voice. Even a beard can't tell you too much if they are a dwarf. He serves the ale, the stranger pays and pours the ale into a container. Then hands the mug back to the bartender and bows slightly. "Thank you."

The stranger then turns to leave and some pirates decide to follow. Yup. One of those days where Joe gets to be inconvenienced by his conscience.

  If Joe is lucky, all those eyepatches will make the pirate's perception checks lower as he follows the followers following Fan... Pan, out of the Bar.  All pirates have eyepatches right?

  Keeping a reasonable distance is practical.  Not only are people slightly less likely to notice you, but bows work better than knives at a distance, duh.

Once outside the bar, the pirates surround Pan and and chuckle. "So... let's see that face yer hidin', shall we?" "As you wish." Pan answers. She tilts her hat back then opens the veil to reveal her panda face. The pirates are a bit shocked.

Pan is holding her staff with both hands, though more to lean on the staff in appearance, she is ready to fight. "Now that you have seen me, may I go?"

The pirates might have actually let her go due to A: Shock and B: She actually showed respect and obedience. But the problem was C: The pirates are currently drunk. "Sorry, madam... we insist you stay." they proceed to tease each other about which one is going to kiss the bear. After all, she's unusual enough, it's kind of a dare in the same sense as petting a skunk.

One pirate says, "I say we play (Russian) Rulette."

Disclaimer: There is no Russia in Forgotten Realms, so Russian is in parenthesis for this reason.

  Joe guesses these pirates aren't particularly popular on the Shifter dating scene.

  Although a cartoonish plan that of all things doesn't involve violence comes to mind.  Joe pulls out a roll of parchment and in large block letters common writes 'Pretending Pirate. Pretend Kiss' (hopefully is she speaks it, she can read it?) and holds it up.  After all, even it the pirates have the girl surrounded, they are looking more towards the ground than across the street.

  A long enough moment of that to hopefully get it across, Joe wanders over then develops stumble Mc Slur as he gets close.  "Yer all a bunch a babysh. Especially you Rob." he says wavering pointing a hand across like half of them.  "I'm goin for it."

  It hurts our brain to try and figure out the numbers involved in Slight Of Hand; Pretend to Kiss vs Perception; Drunken Pirates.  Good thing it's freeform.

The panda girl seems rather surprised by the comical "rescue" attempt, but figures it's worth a shot. Her uncertainty is clear, though, as she doesn't immediately allow him to get that close. The pirates cheer him on, but when he does grab her, Pan does the classic girly struggle. No special moves.

Half-drunk pirates? Their perception takes a hit. Even the ones without eye patches. So the "not a rogue, honest" thievery check for slight of hand succeeds. He even has a convenient bamboo hat to hide him enough to make the kiss look real.

The pirates cheer and hoot and holler.

  Joe didn't get punched in the face, awesome!  That's always a plus in any given day.

  Joe straightens back up.  Now let's hope it stays that way despite implied insults to her personal hygine.  "Now I know why she wanted the best brew, shprobably cant stand the tassht of her own mouth."

The pirates laugh again. "Well ye don't have t' taste anymore. Ye said you were passin' through. So pass through!" They move aside and Pan runs off, staff in hand. She doesn't look back.

The pirates go back towards the tavern, probably assuming Joe will go back in with them, but they don't twist his arm.

  Joe tosses two silver after them and says "grab me a drink, ill de right there after I leave my old drinks in the alley." Sure sign of being completly smashed, trusting anyone one anywhere in Luskan or around it with any money.  Probably no faster way to get them to rush back to the bar without him in the world of course.

  Joe will stumble towards the bar's obligatory back alley until the pirates are out of sight, then resume proper wandering in the direction of Pandas.  Can't say it isn't curious.

This is the part where the author of a cartoon introduces something stupid like "thank you for rescuing me. Now I have to fight you because you injured my honor" for plot so the viewers can see the new character vs the old.

Or it's just the part where Pan was apparently wandering out of Luskan, where Joe was fixing to go originally anyway. Unless Joe goes stealthy, she'll likely notice him.

  In the old cartoons sense, technically Joe wouldn't hit a girl.  Because his Melee basic sucks to much to land a hit on Pan *rimshot*

  Joe isn't particularly stealthy for the moment.  Though he figures he'd save any actual calling out to the short fuzzy lady for until they are well out of town if the distance doesn't close by then.

Pan slows her pace some so Joe can close distance quicker, but they both are well away from the pirated bar by now. "I convincing display you did back there." Pan comments to break the silence, still with the gentle and accented voice.

  Joe shrugs, "Thanks for not kicking me in a sensitive area for added authenticity.  As good a thing to do before finally leaving town as any."  Something else is supposed to go here... oh, right. actually introducing yourself. (so much time spent avoiding giving out your name, bad habits).  "I'm Joe, and it's always nice when someone actually manages to come and go from Luskan safely."

"My name is Pan. A pleasure to meet you... you didn't really mean what you said about my mouth, did you?" Sure, he didn't actually taste Pan's lips, but there is always smelling bad breath. Which she doesn't have. She breathes on her hand as if testing to make sure.

  Joe shakes his head, "Just trying to discourage any follow up performances.  I'm sure you're mouth is perfectly kissable.  I'd offer mints if you were that worried, but I think it's best we don't go into candy from strangers territory just yet."

Pan nods. "...I do not know what this... "mint" is. But I thank you for offering it. I am not from Faerûn, so please forgive my limited understanding of the things and culture from your continent. Are you also passing through Luskan?"

  Joe manages to refrain from asking if where she's from didn't have cesspits of crime and necromancy.  "At least you have an excuse.  As for my time in Luskan... Well, I'll just leave it at a family request I've recently completed."

"So you've... lived here?" she asks in an almost "you poor thing" tone.

  Joe shrugs, "If you can come out of that place without ending up dead or an amoral headcase, something has to have gone right somewhere.  Besides, if places like this weren't around you might get the locals going to more respectable cities.  Then all the complaints about Luskan would dry up fast."

  sir, Jabba The Hutt has taken to lording over our local antiques show. Help?

Pan is a little confused, head tilted back while her eyes stay on Joe, she nods slowly like "uuhhhh huuuuh..." but then goes back to a normal expression. "But if you lived here, clearly there are others not so bad who live here. I should help..." She stops in her tracks, turning to look back at Luskan.

  "Most people who live in Luskan want to be there.  The ones who don't leave, or are too scared to go out into the world instead." a street scavenger's living is easier to pick up on than wilderness survival or leaving town to find a job somewhere else.

  "It's a nice thought, but how many people are you going to help before you stop?  Unless you are somehow able to find every single one of them, there will always be someone left behind when you are done."
This message was lightly edited by the player at 02:31, Wed 04 Apr 2012.

"An age-old question, Joe. The answer is simple: I will help who I can. But considering how deep the corruption, the approach is important. The best way to help everyone in Luskan would be to change Luskan for the better. I am not quite ready to do such a thing, but I will be some day. After I have gotten a number of good friends and allies. ....may I call you friend?"

  "If you think I deserve it, you can consider me a Friend Pan.  Crimes only half the problem anyways in Luskan.  Most of the organized crime wouldn't mind if the arcane and undead horrors lurking around were gone.  But like you said, they aren't quite ready to do such a thing."  Joe glances up at the floating Fang Island, "Even if any of them could reach some of the problems."

  When not spending weekends playing serial killer hunter, organized arson to dispatch structures completely lost to the undead had been another way to pass the time.

"Well then, my friend... we have a quest; Find heroes and rescue Luskan."

  Well that figures, first quest you pick up is to go back to where you just left later on.  BACKTRACKING.

  "I suppose it's obvious to say that the first part is the easy part."

"If I continue to be as lucky as I was just minutes ago, then the first part will indeed be easy. But most heroes can not be truly tested without danger involved." She comments. "But I am new here... perhaps you would know where to go next?"

    Joe says "Well, basically anywhere.  I don't know what things are like where you're from, but almost any place you travel to has some issue."  After all, you go to a quiet town and SHADOWFELL THREATENS TO EAT THE WORLD, and that's at low levels.

  "Worst case scenario, nobody's lives are threatened. Oh no."

"In that case, we follow this road." the road that leads south to Neverwinter. She continues onward. "So what is it you do, Joe?"

  Joe follows along, "Well, when acting like an idiot isn't a viable solution, I tend to default towards arrows.  Not being close enough to get stabbed in the first place is easier than dodging, and you remind other people thinking that nowhere is really safe."

  Bonus points when you're taking shots from outside standard issue spell range.

Pan ohs, not having expected that answer. "I see... so... do you do that for a living?"

  Joe shrugs, "It's hard to make maps of other places when you're in one city the whole time.  Same for hunting food that isn't a stray dog or something.  You happen to have any particulars when you're not looking to pick up heroes?"

Pan nods. "I'm a chef and wish to be a housewife some day."

  Yeah, can't say Joe the character saw that quite coming (The player had some suspicions).  "Well, that's kind of  nice.  I'm impressed you've got intentions to save whole cities when that's what you've done so far."  Now, if she had been a Plumber or something, then it would make sense.

Pan nods to Joe. "Thank you. I am impressed you turned out nice in such a crime-filled city."

  "Oh, I have plenty of bad habits.  You just haven't done anything worth scathing sarcasm and a jaded worldview yet."  Well, maaaybe the 'let's save an entire city!' thing, but we'll call the first one free.

  "Though, thank you.  A guy does start to wonder about himself sometimes."

Pan smiles over and up at Joe. "Then you can wonder why you helped me and know you are good."

  Because as long as it something you consider annoying, you will never get rid of your conscience?  "The answer 'Because I can' doesn't really sound very noble in the end."

Pan giggles. "If that was your reason, you would have forced the kiss rather than fake it. After all... despite thinking me unattractive, those men wanted to kiss me because they could."

  "That's just it though, 'Because I can' is associated with being selfish.  If you're doing good things just because you can, not because 'It's the right thing to do' or 'Evil Must Die', something seems off to people."

  Thank you for saving the burning orphanage Super Captain Fabulous!  Eh, it was on the way to the taco stand... uh, Super Captain Fabulous everybody... yeah...
This message was last edited by the player at 04:02, Wed 04 Apr 2012.

Pan is curious now. "Did you *want* to kiss me?"

  Joe barely manages not to blush. "Well, you know.  I got this strange thing where kissing nice girls who don't want to be kissed isn't that appealing.  Not much point in that sort of thing if both people aren't enjoying it." Is that question dodge or a question answer?

Pan smiles coyly. "And what if I wanted to? Not saying I'm one to kiss someone I just met, but asking hypothetically?"

What? Pan's ALWAYS had a rascally side. Just doesn't come out to play often.

  "Well, wouldn't say no to kissing a nice girl in that case. If hypothetically a nice girl was interested."

  No Pan, Zahenshmin's name shouldn't be Zahdoeswhatever.

Pan smiles. "Glad you consider me nice... even after you've only known me for a short time."

  "Well, from what little you've given me to go on it's all been a good example so far.  Polite, good taste in your drinks." So far as 'finest' default ordering goes, "Willing to go with crazy harmless plans, reasonable life skills, and apparent grandiose noble intentions of city saving."

  She makes that last one sound mildly believable.

  "Where does that leave me in comparison, after all."

Pan teases, "A man who saved a damsel in distress?"

Hmms, "Oh yeah.  Good point. I'm going to have to get used to thinking in a way that compliments myself."

Pan holds pleasant conversation with Joe for a while until they make it to a spot they can camp. "This looks as good a place as any to camp."

  Joe nods, Nature Skill Man approves.  "Prefer with or without a tent for the night? Along with first or last watch?"

Pan looks up at the darkening sky. "I would like to take second watch. I'll stay up long enough to admire the stars with you, but I'm a morning person."

  "Works for me, having the option to sleep in safely for once is a welcome change of pace."  Well, provided no random encounters interrupt sleep, darn tables.

  "I don't suppose the stars are wildly off in location compared to the view you are used to?"

"I guess we'll find out soon..." Pan stays up and watches stars. "This is pretty much the same night sky I know. Very beautiful..."

  And just think, some of those stars are looking back.

  "It's always nice having something in the scenery that stays somewhat constant.  Even when you can't see it, you know it's there."

Pan nods and slowly seems to be closing her eyes. She's dozing off in her bedroll. No tent. :) The oversized teddy-bear falls asleep.

  Joe watches the night sky for a few moments longer, before paying more attention to his surroundings that a half blind idiot wouldn't be able to notice something approaching from (though Joe Zanehsmin did pull off his claim he could sneak up on Amy while wearing scuba gear Via skydiving, admittedly).

  Should there hopefully be nothing Pan needs to be woken up for before then, the Panda girl will get a good nights rest before Joe wakes her so she can take over.

Pan wakes for her shift. The night goes uneventfully before Joe is awakened by the smell of fish cooking.

  Joe didn't get eaten by bears in the night, score!...  Hmm, this outlook is mildly awkward sounding with his current company.  "Well, I guess the chef claims were true enough.  Did you happen to have some fish leftover, or did you run off to get some fresh ones?"  OMG party split off panel!?

Pan says, "I have special preservatives that allow me to keep fish fresh for a couple weeks."

  "That definitely sounds like it makes travel a lot more pleasant."   Hey look! Rations or Jerky! AGAIN! At least until we can afford magical food supplies.

  "How long have you been traveling around these parts anyways?"