It seems to be a pleasant atmosphere, save for the creeps that are there. Well... it WAS, until the scary dude gets up and starts towards someone he has spotted. Joe succeeds his perception check and sees a shorty with a hood. Based on the head-to-body ratio and the size of the person, it is either a kid who doesn't belong in a place like this, or someone who happens to be shaped like a kid. The kid seems to be where scary dude is heading.

Ryan looks at Joe, looks where he's looking, then looks back at him. "What's up?"

Ignore your conscience... Ignore your conscience...  For your birthday you will be ignoring your conscience.

"You may want to cover our tabs now, or pretend you don't know me in a minute." Joe says as he picks up his drink and starts wandering over towards the scracy dude.

Damnit conscience.
This message was last edited by the player at 00:13, Wed 17 Oct 2012.

Ryan isn't sure what Joe is up to, but he pays and heads after Joe. "What are you up to, Joe?"

Scary dude grabs child and leans over to whisper something to said child. Seems like the kid just nods and follows the scary dude towards a back room.

  "Probably something stupid.  What comes to your mind when you see 'Grim man leading child to the back of a strip club' Ryan?" Joe answers as he continues along.

Ryan doesn't answer, but follows. Soon, the two are in the back room and the scary man faces the kid. "So I finally found you... shall we fight here? Or outside?" the man's eyes glow a sickly yellow-green. He disrobes, revealing a mechanical body that begins unfolding into... for lack of better description, what looks like a spidery-humanoid with a long neck.

(Try around 3:43 in this video for a general concept: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...w&feature=relmfu )

  Joe thinks, that just maybe this is a problem CANoMACE™ isn't quite up to dealing with.  It's not like he has access to hand grenades either.  "Running would be a good idea, Ryan."

  He does have access to a glass full of high proof booze and a light switch however, *click*  Glowing eyes just might mean nightvision, but they also mean a visible target to fastball a fistfull of glass and alcohol at with the lights out.

Ryan runs. Later, he'll ask Joe where HIS sanity went. But the glass shatters on scary dude, who growls at Joe.

Child dispenses of the cloak she was wearing and is, as it turns out, another escapee from science fiction. Katy charges at scary dude and seems to tackle him. Then glances at Joe. "There's a back way out of here! Ta-"

Scary dude grabs Katy by the throat and throws her aside, making her slam against a wall. Leaving him nice and distant from Katy so Joe can do the possibly set-dude-on-fire plan that was insinuated.

  Joe was kind of hoping there would be enough original eyeballs left for bits of glass and alcohol to the face in a dark room (so a bit harder to tell Katy's fuzzball status at the moment) to be counterproductive to seeing.  Guess not, oh dear.

  "Note to self, follow my mother's advice more often...  Her other advice."   Joe had aimed for the eyes after all, if not with a gun.

  On that note, he might as well turn the lights back on *click*.  Maybe if he was really lucky, the guy would threaten him before maiming him?  He checks a box on the off chance for something useful...  Dance Pole sanitizer...  Both sanitary and Eew at the same time.

Joe finds the sanitizer. The robot-insect-dude begins creeping towards Joe in the standard "villains like to take their time for cinematic drama" style.

Katy seems to be coming to, pretty fast as Joe can spot the girl getting up.

  Yes, the revelation of sanitizer was more for the 'well, that's useless' inevitability.  "I suppose your face being broken glass proof means you're probably punch proof." Why bother with his CanOMace when eye injury has already proven to not be an option, after all.

  "Though honestly, I think the most crazy part of all this is something like you is picking fights with children...  Or are they just short?"  He eyes another box...  Stupid box of bathroom soap dispenser soap, accursed quality packaging that wont bust open just by kicking the thing over.

The robo-monster dude seems pretty distracted with Joe's rambling. "This is no ordinary child, in case you didn't notice." As he slowly approaches Joe, all cliche villain style, Katy gets up and runs up behind the monster. She jumps on his back and starts wrestling with the guy's deranged neck.

The bad guy charges a wall and the two exit through the wall with a loud crash.

  A strip club probably needed the extra ventilation anyways.  On the bright side, now Joe could run...  Okay, Joe, maybe we should have specified direction.  Following through the hole is the wrong way to run.

  Joe comments, as he grabs a fire extinguisher in passing, wondering whatever happened to fire axes "But that's the direction the plot is."   Damnit Joe, you're usually not that obvious.

There is some writhing and such among the pile of wreckage, but the monster seems to stop moving after a loud metallic rip sound followed by a rather disturbing gurgle-scream. Then the movement stops. "....if you're still there, mister, I'm hurting bad..." the child's voice says weakly.

  That's the second fastest offscreen kill Joe has ever seen!...  Wait, how would he ever see an offscreen kill?  This joke makes no sense in hindsight.

  "My better judgment is taking a break, I'm still here.  I'll try to help you instead of stand there like an idiot this time." Joe walks over, to see how bad it is.  Even if at best he's just got some first ad knowledge, which even his Player is lacking on.

The girl is impaled through the side by some of the wall's steel reinforcement. She is holding the bad guy's now-disembodied head. What looks like blood and... other fluids... are dripping from the head. Katy, thankfully, only bleeds blood.

The raccoon-girl looks up at Joe. "...thanks for the help, mister..." before she goes unconscious.

  You know, if somebody had told him he'd be helping someone holding a still bleeding severed head, he'd have said 'I wish I could argue this point'.

  Step one, ditch the severed head.  Step two, say goodbye to his jacket.  Step three, rationalize 'didn't something say moving impalement victims is bad' with the fact things could get awkward as hell at best if She was found half stapled to the wall next to a dead spider thing.

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to carefully unimpale somebody?  Well, Joe has a rough idea of that now.  As he does the best with what he has available to dress the wounds, at least there's one bright side.

  Joe can carry someone Katy's size easy enough...  Which is great because a fireman's carry would probably suck for a girl in her condition.  He glances around for exits aside from going back through the big hole.

  Rolen could have worse problems, the rest of the party could fit old movie stereotypes of how to react when somebody turns into a wolf and starts biting people.  But then pitchfork mob could be preferable at times to certain annoyances.

 Terdisas makes his will save against asking what a mage looks like to the... Duergars (Hey he got shot by bread quills, that's memorable even if the species name was less so)?  If Mittens and Himself did not look the part.  But then that was an easily answered question.  Mittens was a Wizard and Terdisas was a Sorcerer, completely different!

  "The used armor business may pick up if we had something to bring several hundred pounds of armor back with us every fight, instead of just leaving it there on the ground."

When Joe manages to un-impale Katy, the hole in the girl seems to not gush as much blood as would be expected. But then, how often does one come across impaled victims?

Aside from the hole in the wall, there is a fire exit.

  Despite implications of various narrative comments, Katy would be the first.  Lucky her.  Okay, fire exit is the plan.  From there is the question because carrying a hairy bleeding blonde down the street is the sort of thing you only hear about in bad terms when it comes to people fleeing strip joints.

  He's come this far along doing idiot things though, so he'll figure a direction from there after leaving the building instead of just standing there while Katy bleeds.  Out the exit he goes.

Joe knows football where the hospital is and is able to make haste for it. Even better is when he spots a taxi on the way there.

  Well, that's convenient.  (don't field goal Katy).  Joe flags down the Taxi, will say "You're faster than waiting on an Ambulance"  because hey at least that's true, if they bother to stop and let him in.  At least the only thing Katy will bleed on is himself and his it-was-already-red-anyways Jacket, so score one for taxi back seats.

The taxi driver took one look at Katy and freaked out, but didn't drive away from Joe. Once Joe's in, though, the driver starts driving and asks, "What gives?!"

  "Apparently big spiders hate hairy children, or something.  My stupid conscience has this thing against leaving kids bleeding on the floor.  On the bright side, your tip's going to be as big as the fair, provided we actually get to the hospital fast."

  Okay, mental preparations now.  You will not deck a doctor who suggests you go to a vet.

"Big spiders? Hairy children? Do you even realize what you are saying?"

He IS still driving and paying attention to the road. Progress?

  At least Joe didn't mention the served heads.  "Yeah, at least now I know not to automatically assume all horror stories of 'what happened when I went to a strip club' I hear people tell are exaggerations."