Terdisas gives the short lady a gentle embrace, even though she's the one who could break him if she squeezed too hard and not the other way around.

  Then the kitty lady doggy pats him on the head. "Yes. Thank you, Mittens. Really." He deadpans.

  Morning comes along, and while that is often taken as good news he hopes this means the Mayor still will have enough to work with to pay the guards and such...  Though considering who ran things before, half taxes could very well mean wine and hot meals six times a day and holes in the road filled with hammered down coins.

Callie gives her group an endearing look before eating. But once food is served, she goes right to stuffing her face like her fellow halfling Dido.

Dido looks up at Rendil from his chair with puffy cheeks from a stuffed face and ohs? He swallows and asks, "What were the tax rates before?"

Callie glances curiously at Rendil, listening for the answer.

Mits writes with one hand while eating with the other, seemingly not paying attention.

Rendil answers, "However much wasn't nailed down, and sometimes stuff that was nailed down, whenever Brugg was in the mood to toss my place.  Which was a lot.  Sooo... close to 100% of my net."

Mits snorts, dangerously close to spitting her food.  She then conjures a Brugg hand puppet wearing reading spectacles and a tax collector's outfit.  "This is a tax audit.  Our records indicate that in box 32a you were assessed 99.96% but you have only paid 99.95%  Due to this discrepancy, the Mages of Saruun have issued me a warrant for the seizure of three bar stools, a bookcase, and a front door to make up the difference plus penalties and interest."

Puppet versions of the heroes armed with puppet sized greatclubs appear and beat down Tax Brugg!  Rendil giggles.

  "Tweet, completely unrealistic.  Bossman's arms are WAY skinnier than that puppets."

 Tired failpost is failpost.

Callie and Dido giggle from the puppet show also. Callie checks to make sure Kitau is OK.

Dido says, "Well I'm glad things will be liveable soon."

Callie gives Rendil a half-lidded smile with her head leaned on her fist. "It's good to see you never gave up on your business. Any other plans for the future? Or just plan to enjoy being able to turn a profit at all?"

Kitau looks to be doing fine and is having breakfast in silence.

Mits snorts at Superbird's tease and counters with a Superbird puppet with extremely muscular wings.

"Yeah!" the puppet cheers, flexing.

Rendil blushes and rubs behind his head.  "Uh... heh.  Does 'Marry a beautiful blonde and spoil her with delicious food,' count?"

Mits facepalms.  "Good luck with finding a girl willing to live in an abandoned minotaur laberynth."
This message was last edited by the GM at 08:53, Fri 23 Jan 2015.

  Terdisas considers Rendil's chances on a vast sliding scale depending on just which blonde they had in mind.

Callie giggles. That's exactly what she wanted to hear from Rendil. "Spoiling the girl you marry with good food totally counts for a plan. But be careful; don't want her becoming fat or wind up expecting you to break your back for her every craving."

Dido says, "We all have dreams. I'd like to get married too. But as long as evil is out there ruining others' lives, my chance of making that dream come true is slim."

Callie says, "Unless you have a Cleric of Sehanine around. I know one. Would you like to meet her? I'm sure she could help you out."

Dido chuckles. "OK, OK... point taken."

Callie offers some of what's on her plate to Kitau. Then looks around at the team. "So where to next? Do we have any clue where to pursue the rest of the slaves if there are any? Or can we go home for now and relax?"

Rendil nod-nods to Callie's suggestion.

"What's wrong with marrying a redhead?" Kitau asks, tugging on her bangs.

Rendil blushes and sputters.  "N-nothing wrongwithit.  Nothing at all!  I just... I just..."

Kitau smirks.  Deepgem steps in carrying a lumpy sack with him and answers Callie's question.  "The former slaves will be arriving at their homes soon, escorted by some of my men and two adventurers who said they helped you rescue them."

He drops the sack.  "This is everything that may of be value to you that we recovered from the mages.  Magical robes and whatnot."

Mits starts digging through the bag.  "Only clue for adventure I have is a note I found in Paldimar's spellbook and the weird, seemingly related, dream I had last night."
This message was last edited by the GM at 03:39, Sat 24 Jan 2015.

  Despite his charisma score, Terdisas opts out of the romance qualifiers chat for now.  He can always blame shock on hearing Kitau speak more than four words in a row that have nothing to do with violence, if needed.

  "Well, considering how things tend to occur, a 'weird, seemingly related dream' is most likely relevant."  He does examine the robes, as he is using Generic Magic Robes for budgetary and laziness reasons.

Callie nearly jaw-drops at Kitau pulling a tease like that. Dido starts chuckling and Callie joins in, giggling.

The two halflings start sorting through the stuff also. With one hand. The other hand being used to hold food. The occasional sight of Callie or Dido having a muffin hang out their mouth in order to use both hands occurs.

Dido looks at Mittens. "Well don't keep us in suspense. Tell us your dream."

Within Paldimar's book is a map that shows a glowing pyramid within a lush forest, about a week’s travel north of Nentir Vale. Notes scribbled on the side of the page read: “Place of power.” “Vast magic for the taking.” And “Seek Karavakos.”

Kitau smirks slyly.  She doesn't look interested in the loot, though.

"Good point," Mits agrees with Terdisas, using mage hand to assist in the looting, "There was a note about vast magical power for the taking up north.  I then have a vague dream promising much the same, along with directions to head north."

"Hmm," Deepgem ponders, "I recall one of the mages trying to bribe his way out of his sentence with vague talk of knowing where a vast treasure is hidden, but nobody believed him since his excuse for not having scarfed it up already was because he only learned about it recently."

"Sounds like the dream might be a telepathic lure to wizards leading them to a trap," Mits concludes.

  "Chirp, don't Pyramids go in deserts?"  "Maybe they desired a change of scenery.  Though I do agree with the 'too good to be true' feeling of such things."

Callie asks, "So if it's a trap, why go there?"

Dido answers, "Because other people less inclined to the reality of its trappitude will go get themselves killed for nothing."

Callie asks, "OK, so how do we disarm the trap?"

Dido shrugs. "Smash it to pieces? Seems to be the answer for every problem we have encountered."

Mits is beaming.  "I'm sooo happy that you're willing to look into this!  I didn't want to admit how eager I was to go on this adventure 'cause I was expecting everyone to be pining for a vacation and reluctant to chase down the oh-so tempting to me clue.

"What irony if an evil mage or three was led to their doom by this trap.  Though, if my hunch is correct, we'll be smashing through throngs of evil vampire wizards collected over the centuries by the master of the pyramid to some day conquer the land and plunge the world into eternal darkness through some huge blood ritual."

Kitau frowns, gets up, and heads for the door.  "Let's go."

OOC:  Some reason was reminded of this: ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_BvDSTJFwU )

  "That is... unfortunately specific."   "Well obviously we can't have a sunny beachside vacation if the sun is destroyed, tweet."

Dido drops a generous tip and grabs up the food hastily while heading for the door with Kitau. Dido says, "I doubt Mittens is serious about her hunch, Kitau, but all the same, I'll help you prepare the wagon..."

Callie gazes at Kitau, looking hesitant before getting what food she can also and giving Rendil a quick hug. "Hate to hug and go, but duty calls."

She looks up at Mittens on her way out and says, "Travel can take time, ya know. That will have to do as our vacation. But did you have to make Kitau so tense just when she was learning to relax?"

"Thanks!" Rendil says with a smile and blush, "Come back and visit!"

Kitau opens the door for Dido and the others and gives him a nod.  Mits follows the group, rubbing behind her head with a sheepish grin.

"My hunch is based off years of reading hundreds of novels and history books.  A pyramid is usually crammed full of mummies that usually don't pose a threat to the world until some foolish researcher reads the releasing incantation out loud.  I only figured vampire lord because luring folks with dreams is more their schtick.  But why target wizards specifically unless you have some huge ritual in mind that requires lots of slave wizards to perform?  And such rituals are never for anything less than making the world a better place for monsters to dwell.  So...  maybe more of an educated guess than a mere hunch."

Kitau head-tilts at Callie and shrugs.

 "Oh, well then as long as we are going by what is most annoying, I expect that demon we have blown up several times to make an appearance."

  "Tweet, one does not normally associate recurring villains with 'Oh, that guy I blew up'"

Callie asks, "So how accurate are the novels you spent all those years reading?"

Dido says, "Probably hilariously accurate, considering we literally stopped a wannabe god from entering our plane and causing the zombie apocalypse."
This message was last edited by the player at 08:38, Sun 15 Feb 2015.

Kitau smirks at Terdisas, pulls out an old belt, and shows it to him.  Dozens of notches have been cut into it, to the point where its doubtful the belt is even usable anymore.  Mits clears her throat, and with an academic air, quotes what the books say about the recurring villain.

"'Barlgura are driven by a savage bloodlust that can be slaked only in combat, where they can tear apart their foes with bare claws.  Favored by the demon prince
Demogorgon, who enjoys their primitive, bestial savagery, their presence in the world is often a sign of a hidden cult.'

"To think that a demon known to be capable of single-handedly slaughtering an entire town watch and inhabitants in one night has become for us merely 'annoying.'  I'll have to remember to point this out the next time someone doubts how powerful we are.

"But that ties into my answer about the books.  Some are clearly fiction, others clearly historical records.  Most, however, fall somewhere in between where they might be embellished history or realistic fiction.  Scholarly experts debate over which is which.  What usually distinguishes those works deemed most likely historically accurate is a dry writing style that can make even the epic struggle between the gods and primordials sound dull.

"So it's the exciting, more fictional seeming works that more accurately reflect the reality we've been living.  But then, that's because we are the heroes of this story.  Give my notes to an academic and he'll likely reject it as a work of fantasy until half a dozen other books back what I wrote.

"In short, very.  But good luck getting folks to believe that."
This message was last edited by the GM at 03:56, Wed 18 Feb 2015.

  "I never really got the point of that phrase, far to self destructive upon the wardrobe.  Maybe somebody with no count to speak of was really proud of his three notches?"  Silly Ter, that's Kitau's 19 trillionth belt.

  "Most wildlife is capable of killing an entire town, a Demon will just find it entertaining as they do so."  Look, just because you only pay attention to the kind of animals that are monster manual entries doesn't mean there is a shortage of squirrels and chipmunks.

Dido looks at Terdisas weird. "Most wildlife is capable of destroying an entire town? Maybe if you mean most wildlife ganging up together. I haven't even heard of a stampede destroying a town."

Callie says, "He's not being literal, Dido. If he were, there would be no towns." she then looks up at Mittens. "To be fair, I wouldn't believe people telling me they stopped a demigod from beginning a zombie apocalypse. But it does still seem unfair for someone to save the world and then nobody believes or cares after all that effort."

Kitau seems to be giving Ter's comment about demons some serious thought.

"Important difference," she concludes.

Mits also considers it.  "The wildlife I've encountered that can destroy a town includes a young ice dragon and...  Huh.  Maybe that tentacle thing might count.  But probably counts more as an aberration.  On second thought, I suppose any old critter can tip over a lantern that sets a town ablaze.

"Yes.  Important difference."

To Callie she answers, "I intend to ensure that folks do believe and do care.  Long after we pass to the next life, I want mommies singing to their daughters 'The Lullaby of Saint Callie, who, with sword and faith, healed the hurting and repelled the zombie god.  'And the best part is, is that this is a true story!  To this day, she smiles down at us from heaven.'  'I wunna grow up to be just like her, mommy!'  'You make me so proud, sweetheart!'"

Pyrus pretends to suck his thumb and gives Callie the Bambie Eyes look.

  "Well, the demon brought up was a Balugra as all that is needed to destroy a town.  I suppose we have been fortunate in not meeting the sort of wildlife on par with that quite so often."

  "Tweet, Purple Wyrms, dire Bears, OWLbears, bugs that spit lightning, bugs that wear people's skin"  "I think that last one is a Lamia, so probably doesn't count."  "Oh but the bear with a bird for a face does, huh? chirp."

  Look, if towns had to roll for random encounters they'd be pretty doomed.  Cats and lizards pillaging together, angry elk in the streets, mass hysteria.

  "Well, hopefully if I am not merely forgotten, at least something favorable is thought of me after the fact."