"Woohoo!" Mits cheers as she runs past the big bad.

Out of reflex, he attacks her against Timothius' warnings.  He hits!  But ends up stunned, staring blankly.

Mits puts on a pair of sunglasses.  "Your evil lair is cool and all.  But a tad gloomy.  Let's brighten things up, shall we?"

She spreads her hands to the air and a disco ball descends from the ceiling.  Then she blasts the disco ball with a massive beam and it reflects the energy all over the place, knocking May's latest "weapon" senseless.

The priest hits May with the icy shark teeth attack!

May FLEXES and the ice falls off of her as she proceeds to act like no attacks mattered, drops the now-done suguagin, and hurries off to Xurgelmek, blocking his path again. "Oh nice. Tim did his "enemy can't do anything" power. Hey priest, may as well kiss your friend here goodbye!"

WHACK! Oh look! Her carrikal came out again! Xurgelmek is hit and doesn't even react. "See? He's a glorified pinata now." Oh look! She has her singing stick out again.

Timothius gladly translates for May. "Reminder: We're here for Chillreaver. Not the rest of you. Surrender and live."

---

Shield Feint v Xurgelmek. Hit(39)!
 dmg: 19

Xurgelmek HP: 292 - 19 = 273
This message was last edited by the player at 05:32, Wed 30 Dec 2015.

  Kyle hurls one of the Raider Javelins and strikes the tiny He-Man armor plate on Xurg.  Which would have probably not done much damage if not for the resulting splash of acid, and slight melting of said armor.

Raichel says, "OK where in the WORLD did you get this idea, Mittens?! ...it's pretty!" and shoots lightning at Xurgelmek! The lightning then bounces to the priest.

Raichel then trots up towards Xurgelmek.

---

Lightning Strike v Xurgelmek. Hit(36)!
 dmg: 32
 dmg to Priest: 6

Xurgelmek HP: 232 - 32 = 200
Priest HP: 57 - 6 = 51

Timothius says, "I like it, Mitts." and he walks over to Xurgelmek before placing a seal on him like a temp-tattoo / sticker. Then pats it a few times. "Have fun."

---

Minor: Peacemaker's Pronoouncement. Xurgelmek is stunned another round.
Move: To Xurgelmek.
Standard: Astral Seal v Xurgelmek. Crit fail (still would hit his will if not for auto-miss)
Assured Healing: An ally in 5 regains hp equal to your cha mod (5), Resist 5 choice
 Chose to heal Kyle because Kyle got hurt first.
Hits because prophetic Guidance means reroll. Hit(39)!
 -2 Xurgelmek's defences.
 Next ally to hit Xurgelmek gains 1d6+9 HP and Resist 5 choice

Mits smiles that she's getting complimented for her light display.

"Glad you like it!  Got the idea from some of the stained glass stuff I saw in Sayre."

She conjures a mirror and faces the priest.

"Eyebeams!"

One shoots the priest, the other gets reflected off the mirror to big bad!

"Surrender?  Ha!  Never!  It holy honor to die for Chillreaver!"

His ice-shark breaks it's teeth against Timothius, not even leaving a mark.

"-.-"

"There is a biiiig problem with your statement." May says, "We can knock you out instead of killing you. And then tell Chillreaver how you fled like a coward, which is why you are alive. And you will die seeing the sheer disappointment in his eyes."

CRUNCH! That didn't sound good at all.

---

Appalling Crunch v Xurgelmek. Hit(27)!
 dmg: 33

Xurgelmek HP: 165 - 33 = 132

 Kyle fires an alchemical bolt that falls short and lands between the ice boulder and wall the priest is hiding behind.

 <abyssal>"Hah, you missedaAGETITOFFARAGBHHLH"</abysal>  The bolt leaps onto the priest with spider legs made out of spring and sprays them in the face with acid.

Raichel shoots more lightning. "Six more seconds? Or twelve? This one will fall in that amount of time. Chillreaver will fall to us. I'd keep his priest alive to see him fall."

ZAAAP! And it bounces to hit the priest! "...spider legs? Kyle, your contraptions... I just love 'em."

---

Lightning Strike v Xurgelmek. Hit(32)!
 dmg: 28

Xurgelmek HP: 132 - 28 = 104
Priest HP: 23 - 6 = 17

Xurgelmek still stands there vacant for the whole onslaught. Finally, he blinks and comes to, having suffered Timothius' hell for 12 seconds. Timothius gives him a gentle smile and pat-pats the seal to refresh its "glue". "Don't worry. It'll be over soon."

---

Astral Seal v Xurgelmek. Hit(34)!
 -2 his defenses.
 Next person to hit him gains 1d6+9 hp and resist 5 choice

The big bad is infuriated by Timothius, but keeps a wary eye on May.

Mits bursts out laughing!  "Best spider ever!"

She conjures a big two-headed dragon plushie that falls on the head of the priest, knocking him out.

"Oh yeah.  On the topic of weak enemies.  I'm kinda with Kyle in that my expectations were a tad higher for, 'Denizens of the lair of a friggin' Exarch of Tiamat!'"

Tim's eyes go wide. "I want a Chillreaver plushy now!" He didn't even wait for his turn to say that.

May whacks Xurgelmek. "OK, I admit the plushy was SUPER funny. Promise me you will finish Chillreaver with a plushy, Mitts!" WHACK! Another axe to the face.

---

Weapon Mayster's Strike v Xurgelmek. Hit(33)!
 dmg: 21

Xurgelmek HP: 104 - 21 = 83

Thankfully, the player decided that since Timothius always takes ranks in taylor and craft clothing in other editions while 4e, I'm handwaving that he can and has been designing clothing for the team.

  Now that Tim's stun is over, Kyle continues the annoying status effects you'd only expect from NPCs train.

  Today's nonsensical aroma.  Hot chocolate.

Raichel twirls her staff, causing a low roar with it, and then stops it in an "uppercut" pose. WHAM! Xurgelmek gets an invisible uppercut! Rai and Tim twinsynch some nose-twitching as they sniff at Kyle's hot chocolate delight. "We're getting hot chocolate when we return to Nefelus."

---

Thunder Slam v Xurgelmek. Hit(26)!
 dmg: 34

Xurgelmek HP: 83 - 34 = 49

"What is this stuff!?  Get it off me!  Aaaargh!"

The big bad flails about.

Timothius says, "Well since Kyle has so kindly continued this guy's pinata volunteer status, mind letting May hit him first, Mitts? Rare we have after-combat healing for no cost."

---

Astral Seal v Xurgelmek. CRIT(40)!
 -2 defenses
 Next person to hit gains 1d6+9 hp and resist 5 blabla

May shrugs and WHACKS Xurgelmek, healing up. "Thanks, guys and gals! Thanks, whoever you are, for standing there for us to beat on you and use your health for our own instead of surrendering. Enemy stubbornness has become a boon for us lately."

---

Weapon Mayster's Strike v Xurgelmek. Hit(33)!
 dmg: 22

Maych-P: 106+5 + 10 = 116+5
Xurgelmek HP: 49 - 22 = 27

"Sure thing, bro."

Poof!  She now has a giant plushie weapon.  FWOOF!  She beats the enemy over the head with it.  The big bad passes out.  She then mage-hands the mouth to lick him and pretends to make it speak.

"Mmm.  Hot chocolate."

various looks:
http://g01.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB...ad-font-b-Dragon.jpg

http://www.bbtoystore.com/mm5/beanies/magic.jpg

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/i...2BhMPRML._SX355_.jpg

but i think mits would go with this one:  http://i.ebayimg.com/00/$%28KG...PG?set_id=880000500F
This message was last edited by the GM at 07:38, Wed 30 Dec 2015.

  Kyle maneuvers his crab bot closer to land, and gets out to finally join the others.

  "There was a time where I would not have expected dignity to be the most frequent enemy casualty.  But here we are."

May, Rai and Tim all giggle from the plushy antics.

When Kyle makes it to shore, Timothius looks at the apparatus. "Think you can repair it when we get ready to head back to Nefelus?"

May bites Xurgelmek's downed self and flops all over the floor to wrestle the body with her mouth, growling happily. Then hops to her feet and ties him up. This team is rather experienced with knots at this point.

Mits laughs some more from May's making a chew toy of the baddie.  She then poofs a monocle on him.

"There ya go, Kyle.  Dignity restored."

  "Oh good, it will come in handy for when it pops off his face in shock at his failure. Nice one Mittens."

  He looks over to Timothius, and says   "Should be simple enough, and it's still water tight. If we're really desperate we can shove them through the teleportation circle. Honestly the bigger question will be if we even have time to go back for them.  I'm half expecting this place to fall into the elemental chaos because of how often that happens."

And there was that mention of nonspecific issues with the Elemental Chaos long ago that made the Devas take their ball and go home from the rest of society.

May says, "I just got an idea. Let's rest up in the apparatuses and then drag the bodies behind us with said apparatuses, making it look like we used these lobster-bots to kick butt. And then we pop out and fight. And then we repeat the process. Then we will have the bots handy to walk them through the portal if the place starts collapsing."

Timothius shrugs. "That sounds good, but I think I'd rather walk them to an empty room after each combat. Having them one room away isn't bad and that split-second it takes to open the hatch means fewer injuries. That and if we convince people that the apparatuses are why we won, they will continue to damage them."

Raichel says, "Well what's up ahead? Since we had a runner go and then come back with a big bad, maybe we're done with the next room already?"

May says, "I'll scout ahead." and proceeds to stealth and scout.

May returns a few moments later and says, "Remember that lightning lizard we fought at that poor town? Well there is a Behir in the other room. Also, a giant, flying eyeball. Probably that 'beholder' the giants mentioned."

---

May stealth check: 39
Perception DC 16. Auto-success (May's perc bonus is +16)
This message was last edited by the player at 02:47, Thu 31 Dec 2015.

Mits hrms.  "So on top of cold attacks, they'll likely be flinging other elements as well.  Prolly worth it to pass around and gulp down some resistance potions.  Beholders are sentient.  About as egotistical as a dragon.  But they only speak Deep Speech.  Important question: Did it look like this?  Or this?"

She poofs an image of two kinds of beholder.  One clearly takes much better care of its teeth.

http://vignette1.wikia.nocooki...st?cb=20111004132045

"If it was this one with the crooked teeth, annoying monster.  But if it was this one with the good set of chompers... very dangerous monster we need careful planning for."

May can confirm it was one of the lesser kind.

  "Beholders are generally worse than dragons." Well, you know, aside from Dragons that have whole campaigns built around them.  Then May confirms it's a low tier tutorial beholder.  "Well, that's something at least."

  You know you're getting up there in the levels when you say 'oh, it's the lame beholders no problem'.

  "We will need to be careful with the Behir though.  They have a habit of swallowing people whole, and take longer to kill than... well, basically anything we've fought."  Has the party fought a HUGE creature yet? Probably not until now.

OOC: So a Normal Behir (I'm expecting we're getting the iceouched version) is one of the rare cases of built into the stat block lore.  It has 7 INT, but is considered (allcaps) SHREWD AND DEADLY, and then suggests trying to reason with or bribe the thing.

I doubt we will be able to, hah.