"Well, that and scrolls to question them after they die aren't cheap." for their level range.

Timothius looks over at Joe.... and doesn't know how to respond. He looks back at Lucky and nods.

Hazel says, "It's all here..." he then looks at Mittens. "I was always interested in exploring, but one day I found some really neat trinkets and decided ever since then that I should hunt for treasure. Ancient ruins are dangerous, but they tend to have some of the best kinds of treasure..."

"Mittens never put much faith in that ritual.  How honest can you trust a corpse to be?  What do you threaten it with as a consequence for lies?  'I'll dress you in a tutu and hook you up with marionette strings to dance you through the streets of humiliation!'?

"Mittens is loving what she's hearing from Hazel!  Dangerous ancient ruins!  Yay!  I'm all about adventures like that!"

Lucky sweatdrops.  "Well.  Glad to hear it's all here."

He returns Hazel's belongings to him.
This message was last edited by the GM at 18:28, Sun 06 Mar 2016.

  Joe shrugs, "Well not like magic, or even nature, tend to make much sense half the time."

  He looks back over to Hazel.  "Dangerous seems to be inevitable with most of these trips, though I'd be surprised if anything that happens to be close to here hasn't already been stripped of everything but the still functioning traps."

Hazel asks, "Do you always talk in third person?"

Timothius asks, "How would the traps still function if the places were stripped of everything?"

Hazel says, "Most traps in places you will find treasure in reset."

Timothius says, "Well sure, but why not just disable the trap instead of getting killed by it on your way out?"

Mits nods.  "Fair 'nuff.  Admittedly, I would be far less enamored with them if they did make sense all the time."

She smirks at Hazel and answers, "Ever since she was little, Mittens has aspired to be a storybook hero.  So she sometimes considers it fun to narrate rather than talk normal."

Lucky ohs.  "So that's the reason?  I had figured it was a tribal quirk."

Mits eye-rolls and answers Timothius, "Some traps are much easier to simply avoid rather than spend the time and effort to dismantle 'em.  Also: spite.  Why make life easier for the next group of cutthroats who will inevitably use this ruins as their hideout?"

"Because the next group of heroes will have to deal with the bandits and the traps."

Mits shrugs.  "Spite and avoiding work don't imply the most considerate of adventurers."

  "Even when people do disarm traps, they seem to always be ready again for the next batch of adventurers to head through.  Also, you can combine spite with consideration for others quite easily.  At least, that seems to be the impression I get some days."  People can get so bent out of shape when you tell them you won't abandon them in a pool of their own blood.

Timothius says, "Then let's make sure we are considerate when we explore places."

Hazel chats with the group and gets caught up on the goings on, such as why Timothius has wings and what adventures the group have had together.

Eventually, the group makes it to the city Mittens recommended.

"Spiteful to villains and considerate of the rest sounds good to me," Mits agrees.

Her recounting of the past few days would give Hazel the impression that the Mayor was an obese Slaad with a speech pattern that suggests severe mental retardation.

Word must get around.  The town is awash in adventurers looking to qualify for the quest.  A pre-teen boy spots the new arrivals, blinks in surprise, and bolts for the church at full speed!  Most others react much less dramatically.

  "Yes, I try to keep it down to just sarcasm to people I'm traveling with."

  As they arrive, Joe thinks maybe the kid was disturbed by the uneven cat/dog ratio in the party.

Mittens' description gets giggles from Hazel. Apparently, he realizes an obese slaad wouldn't be the mayor of a town.

Upon seeing the child run off, Timothius says, "He's heading for the church. We should go there also."

Hazel says, "I... guess so? Unless we would be in trouble with the church and the whole town for going that way."

Timothius says, "I am a cleric. If the church has a problem with me, then it is either a church of an evil god, or a church run by evil people. In either case, we will be clear to destroy them."

Hazel says, "Won't that make the town convinced we are evil?"

Timothius says, "Well yes. But no matter who gets convinced of what, I can not suffer to let a corrupt church to stand. But I somehow doubt your worry is the case. Let's go." He heads towards the church.

Mits follows along, looking a tad surprised.  "No 'Let's try and preserve life' this time?  And here I was thinking our less lethal policy was going to be what sets us apart from the other adventurers...  Aside from the 'shifters with wings' bit."

Lucky shrugs.  "One could easily make the argument that diminishing an evil god's influence in this world is proof of a love for life."

Mits shrugs as well.  "We'll see if it even comes up."

No one stops the group till they get to the church - which looks more like a barracks than anything.  If not for the symbols of the good gods on the banners, one would never know it was a church.  Two guards outside the closed doors raise hands to indicate the group should come no closer than 10 yards.

"Blessings, visitors," one says, sounding weirded out, "What are you and why are you here?"

  Joe is surprised that he's not the first person in the group to suggest burning down a church full of Evil, but then casual arson was a bit more of a socially acceptable problem solver in Luskan.

  "Hello, I know it's a rare sight to see but I am a Human.  I heard this was a popular spot for Adventuring, and it does look like you are in need of more help than the average church." They probably don't even have any rubies on their candlesticks.

Timothius holds up his holy symbol to the guards. "Blessings. Our reason for being here in this town is exactly as Joe just said. For being here at this church, is because we saw one person immediately run this direction. Seeing as it is a church and I am a cleric, I was going to come this direction anyway, but seeing the child run caused some curiosity. As for what, I am a half-angel."

Hazel says, "I'm a shifter. These folk rescued me from bandits."

"Half-angel," Lucky answers with a polite bow.

"Hero!" Mits answers, fists on her hips.

The guard chuckles lightly at Joe's response.  Seeing Timothius' holy symbol gives the guard a look of relief.  He knocks a code on the door and the guards inside unbar and begin to open it.

The guard outside bows.  "Please forgive the less than cordial welcome, your holiness.  As I'm sure you know, the enemy's angels can appear as you do.  Please, come in.  The abbot would like to speak with you."

"That explains the kid's sprint earlier, at least," Mits comments.

She heads in.  One of the inside guards leads the way.

  "I would be very surprised if they chose that particular look, but I see your point." Evil Angels! Now in fluffy snuggles kitty cat variety! Real Xtreme Fire Beetle mourning action with HIGH PRESSURE TEARS! Ages3andupadultcultistsupervisionsuggested.

Timothius follows along, looking relieved. Soon, he speaks up again. "Were we... expected?"

Hazel looks around curiously as he follows the others. Which isn't to say Timothius isn't also distracted by the usual religious decorations.

The tapestries, carvings, and whatnot are rather old looking for the most part.  Almost all of them depict scenes of violent conflict between angels, devils, and people.

The guard half-chuckles from Kyle's comment.  "I would be too.  When a devil wants to deceive you, they usually take the guise of something mundane and harmless.  A humble weaver or an obese cook for example."

To Timothius he nods with a smile.  "Yes, in a sense.  We've been praying that a set of trustworthy adventurers be sent our way."

"Doesn't get much better than this group," Mits asserts, "I've never seen another group willing to put the lives of goblin criminals ahead of their own profit.  Much less invest time and risk their reputations to help them reform and learn honest work."

The guard is impressed and smiles all the more.  "Be sure to mention that."

At the next closed door, he knocks a code and the door is un-barred and opened.  Inside is a small office lit with torches.  A humble desk is manned by a grizzeled old human man wearing beat-up dwarven style scale armor.  The guard introduces him as Abbot Rimmel.  The Abbot motions to some chairs opposite him with a tired smile.  "Welcome, guests.  Please, make yourselves comfortable."

The Abbot's page who opened the door is wearing chain armor.  He eyes the half-angels in silent awe.

  Joe hopes these people will accept 'close enough' on the trustworthy front.  But that's probably his wildly fluctuating sense of self depreciation vs sense of pride acting up again.

  "Food and money from hunting does benefit pretty much everyone involved, yeah."

  Joe is meanwhile, silently moderately pleased at the Abbot and Page, if also a touch paranoid about what they are heading into.  A taste for practical equipment on the church officials, good.  Their feeling the need to wear it behing locked doors in middle of their church, bad.

Timothius blushes when Mittens gives shining accolades of the group. But he also smiles proudly at the others in the group, happy to have met others who think that way.

Timothius and Hazel sit as indicated. Timothius gives a proper greeting before sitting, of course. "Timothius, Cleric of Pelor. Pleased to meet you. This is Hazel, Joe, and Mittens."

The Abbot smiles.  "Allow me to catch you up on some history so you'll better understand the quest.  Long ago, there was a rift to Hell about seven miles from here in the nearby wilderness.  Angels were sent by the gods to defend the people under the cruel tyranny of the devils that came through the rift.  At great cost, the rift was sealed and the devils defeated.  This church was founded to keep constant vigil over this area.  Occasionally, a new, smaller rift opens near the original and must be sealed.

"We've noticed signs that a new one is about to open, but all of our best men were recently drafted into the king's service and will be away for who knows how long.  What's left are pages, acolytes, and retirees past their prime.  We'd be hard pressed to make the journey under normal circumstances even if we could risk leaving the church un-guarded, let alone during a time when dark influences are making even deer in the area hostile.  I'm reluctant to give this job to standard adventurers because they might fall under those same dark influences and turn against one another."

"Sounds like the voice of experience," Mits comments, "Exactly how much willpower does one need to resist this taint?"

The Abbot sighs.  "As best as we can tell from experience and records, not much.  If you can leave be a delicious smelling pie that was left to cool on a towns-person's window sill, you should be fine.  Sadly, many adventuring groups have at least one member who cannot pass so simple a test of self-control."

Mits facepalms.

  Archer rangers are WIS secondary but then so are Paladins and those succumb to the powers of Evil like, all the time? Apparently?  Unless it's only /CHA Paladins in which case he should be fine.

  "I'm assuming you we given a brushoff along the lines of 'Oh, what are the odds the ancient portal to hell will open this week'?  Also wow, I constantly forget my standards are not the lowest."

Hazel glances at Joe. "Considering the money involved with adventuring, it should come as no surprise that the profession draws just as many selfish people as it does heroes... if not more."

Timothius says, "The point is this group can resist the cooling pie."

Hazel chuckles. "I dunno. If it's Ol' Auntie's, I don't think I could resist. But then the devils would be too distracted from those pies and wind up with food coma, unable to fight." Should he get any serious looks, he says, "What? Just trying to lighten the mood. Of course I can resist."

Timothius says, "If you will give us a time table, what we need to get this problem dealt with, and point us the way, then I will be happy to take care of this."

"Our track record aside, we'd rather not be working for free," Mits adds.

The Abbot's page looks frustrated and the Abbot nods to Joe's question.  "Yeah, pretty much.  I've sent word of the situation to the commander, but haven't gotten any reply.  Fortunately my divination tells me that so long as the problem is dealt with soon enough, it shouldn't require but a small group of trustworthy adventurers such as yourselves."

The page looks upset with Hazel's answer, but the Abbot chuckles.  "Sounds tasty."

To answer Timothius, he says, "I'm estimating at least two weeks and at most two months before the tear gets big enough to allow anything more than imp-level devils through.  We have ritual scrolls for sealing the rift.  I'll give you spares just in case.  You'll be able to feel when the rift is closed as plainly as a weight lifting off your shoulders.

"As for payment, I will give you each supplies and magic armor and amulets up front to help you in your mission.  Those who return will be given 1,000 gold apiece.  Please be discreet about the magic items.  You don't need unscrupulous adventurers ambushing you along the way to take them."

Lucky nods, "Makes sense."
This message was last edited by the GM at 03:37, Tue 26 Apr 2016.

  "We should be fine so long as the common misconception that payment for services is the same thing as greed does not count against us.  Though honestly it's the spare scrolls for getting the job done I'm more glad for right now."