Re: TO DO LIST
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Proverbs 4:23
Life is like a walk on the beech. If the beech was riddled with traps and landmines and the water full of sharks. But you can see the bodies lying around the "keep away" signs, the blood in the water, and the fins peeking through the waves. And I wonder to myself, "how could they be so stupid?" Just before stepping on an obvious bear trap.
When I was just starting middle school I was living in Germany. The military housing was all painted the same color, the apartments all the same size and shape. The skies were almost always grey. There was only one English channel, and most of the shows were boring soap operas. Fun was sometimes hard to come by. I was playing a game with Tim where I was pretending to be a villain planting a bomb in the basement. There was a fuse box in the basement and I found a pair of bush trimmers. I pretended that they were my bomb setting tool and pointed them at the open fuse box. Tim warned me, "You shouldn't do that, it's dangerous!" I didn't listen and touched them to the fuse box. There was an explosion and I went blind from the flash. Tim screamed. I was still conscious, but it was hard to pick my way through the dark basement hallway toward the stairwell when I couldn't even see that the flesh had been burned off the back of both my hands. I arrived at the hospital and they put my hands in a whirlpool basin. My blindness wore off in time for me to watch as it washed away the black flesh exposing the bloody remains underneath.
After that, they put a creme on them and wrapped them up in gauze an that's when the pain began. It was unbearable. I remember asking God why it hurt so bad. I had no idea how badly I had hurt my family. They were suffering along with me. I would have relief whenever ice was put on my hands which made it very hard to sleep. But nothing could relieve the shame of doing something so stupid. So reckless. Having been warned. Knowing better even without the warning. I could have lost my hands, my eyes, my brother, my life.
The skin eventually healed and the scars are barely visible, but the scars on the heart will only go away in Heaven. But that's not the stupidest, most shameful, painful thing I've ever done. So stupid and painful and shameful I'm not going to say what it was. When I was young I used to worry about whether I was really going to go to Heaven, and would even ask Jesus into my heart again and again just in case it didn't work the last several times. These days I know I don't deserve it. But it's not up to me whether I go or not. It's only up to me what I have to show for the time given me.
Some time after I healed, I got my hands on a pornographic video. I knew it was something I shouldn't watch, so I found a time when I could be alone and I watched it anyway. What has been seen cannot be unseen. I'd rather have my teeth drilled than continue to have those filthy pictures in my head. It didn't blind me or burn my skin, but those images stuck in my head, and they'll only ever go away in Heaven.
I was a straight-A student, but as time went on, I found new ways to be stupid. For example, I thought it would be funny to light milk cartons from my school lunch on fire and put them into empty lockers. God kept me from burning the school down, but when I was caught I wasn't the only one who got in trouble. My dad got chewed out by his commanding officer for his son putting the whole school in danger. But even then I continued to be stupid and took lighters to paint cans.
I cheated, slacked off, lied, betrayed, cursed, etc. When I learned to drive, I had a new way to be stupid and sure enough I wrecked a few cars and wound up in trouble with the law. I ended up sentenced to hard labor at the dump. Not fun. But even after that I kept driving dangerously. It took a very long time to break that stupid habit. Even smoked pot. Once. Never doing that again. It was nasty and wasn't even enjoyable. One guy got drunk and puked in the car. A movie is fun and won't get you in prison.
What's worse is that I've found out I'm not alone. People I respected I've learned some of their dirty secrets and the stupid things they've done. Even worse yet is when someone tries to excuse it. When I was in college, I insisted that in the name of freedom, a person should be free to have porno if they want to. But that was just an excuse for something I knew was wrong. When I confronted with the question of, "How would you feel about someone looking at naked pictures of someone you care about?" I had to admit that I was wrong. My heroes let me down, but I'm no better. The only person I've ever respected who hasn't let me down is Jesus.
How to avoid landmines. Reading the warning signs is almost automatic. Someone offers a cigarette and it doesn't take a genius to realize "Dad probably wouldn't want me to smoke this." Or even to realize "I wouldn't want Shanti smoking this." So to not be a hypocrite, I have to tell myself what I would say to someone I care about. "You know better, Chris. You shouldn't do that."
An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.
I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.
But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.
But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.
Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."
The best food for the good wolf is scripture and prayer. I've made it a habit to listen to an audio Bible on the way to work and back rather than listen to the radio, and it helps. What does the bad wolf feed off of? "Small" stuff like profanity. There's a few things that almost every convict has in common. Foul language, smoking, drinking, porn, shabby clothes, and tatoos. They step on landmines like it's a competition. They'll tell you they don't regret stepping on landmines or jumping into the mouth of a shark. They'll tell you that only sissies avoid shabby clothes, cursing, and tattoos. But the manliest man of history, Jesus, who went through hell so others wouldn't have to - didn't curse or smoke or get drunk. Will wearing shabby clothes turn you into a criminal? No, but it's feeding the wolf that will.
Fake macho guys are wussies who are just lying to themselves about their supposed manliness, trying to cover up that they're afraid of what the other fake macho guys will say if they don't curse or smoke or get tatoos. Just being around them makes the bad wolf salivate. They'll try and manipulate weak willed people into doing the things they do with threats and ridicule. It's a mild form of mind control, but it works. People give in and do the stupid stuff the people around them do just to fit in. A real man does what he knows is right even in the face of torture, let alone a few jeers.
Richard Wurmbrand.
How does one become the person they want to be? Act like them, talk like them, dress like they would, copy their habits. Simple, but works so well that even secular "get rich" self-help gurus will tell you the same. WWJD is a good question to ask every day.
Avoid the landmines. Avoid the sharks. Avoid people who tell you stepping on landmines is fun or only wussies avoid sharks.
Ammo: Daily devotion. Prayer. Silence is golden. Most won't listen anyway.
If asked stupid questions, be prepared with verbal kung-fu.
"Why don't you ask that cussing, smoking, tatood girl on a date? Are you gay or something?" "Nope. She's not my type. Why, are you wanting to ask her out?"
"Why don't you get a tatoo?" "Because it won't wash off if I change my mind."
"Why not wear something more stylish?" "Because I happen to like how this looks."
"It's fun. You should try it." "No thanks. Not my thing."
Be ready with a testimony. Know what you believe in and why. Don't just believe what your told, test it. (Story about asking Christian professors about why God allows evil and their weak answers.)
Gossip is a trap. Don't listen, don't believe.
This message was last edited by the GM at 13:47, Fri 29 Mar 2013.
