Re: Sweet Apple Acres
DAY 2 - BEGINNING
Thunk.
The solid wood echoed for a moment as Rogue Heart nosed the last cabinet door closed. Emerald eyes glanced around the apartment as he took everything in: dressers devoid of all pictures he had put away, cloth draped over the furniture to keep the dust off, his saddlebags sitting by the door filled and ready to go. Everything in the small cottage he had been given was packed away. All that was left was to lock the door. Was he really doing this?
Shaking off the second thoughts that floated unbidden into his mind, the midnight stallion slowly approached the door. If I don't do this now, I never will. He needed to get out of Ponyville and see the world. Maybe that way he would be able to find himself. And possibly his Cutie Mark. Staying here wouldn't change anything. He was already mostly shunned by the rest of the ponies. There were a few people he could call friends, but he really didn't have much of a place in the town. He felt like the only pony without a purpose or calling. He led a simple existence, but it could also be said that he simply existed. There had to be more to life than this.
Bending down near the door, Rogue Heart stuck his head under the saddlebags and shrugged them onto his shoulders. He had packed and unpacked them several times to make sure they were just the right weight for long-term traveling. What little money he possessed had been stowed away safely in a smaller pocket on the side of one of the bags. He had no idea how long he would be gone. Maybe he could find some work on the road. As much as he disliked doing regular physical labor there would be a reason for it, and that made all the difference.
As he reached out for the doorknob with his mouth, an object on the bookshelf next to the door caught his eye. It sat nestled carefully in the corner of one of the shelves resting its back against the spines of some of his favorite works of literature. The stuffed ursa was one of his most valuable possessions, though he had never told anypony. Even though nopony really came into the cottage, he had decided it would be prudent not to place it anywhere that would be easily seen lest his embarrassment rise to the surface. Taking a couple steps, he examined it more closely.
It was the stuffed ursa Applejack had won for him at the fair when they were younger and in love. It was as close to pristine condition that the blank flank could manage. A small, wry smile crept across his face as he remembered panicking when some of his stitching had come undone. He had rushed all the way to Rarity's place and begged her to teach him how to stitch properly. Without the stuffed ursa, of course. He still had his pride. Arts and crafts weren't really his forte, and the plush toy had a scar on his side to show for that where he had attempted to fix it after several trial runs at Rarity's place. Well, maybe more than several. A lot more. Arts and crafts really weren't his thing. He and Rarity had agreed never to speak of it again. It made it easier since she had a few of those moments herself.
Reaching up, he took ahold of the stuffed ursa gently, making place for it in one of the saddlebags on his back. He just couldn't leave it here. What if someone came by and broke in and saw it? Or worse, stole it? He was just making sure that nothing happened to it while he was gone! Of course. Closing the flap carefully, he took once last look at the room over his shoulder before he walked out the door. With a metallic click, he padlocked the door to make sure nopony would wander in while he was gone. Starting off at a trot, he made his way up the short path to the crossroad that he knew he would have to see before he started his journey. To the right, Ponyville. To the left, the outskirts and beyond. Slowing his pace, he took a few steps into the road and turned to the right.
The sun had managed to rise just a bit over the horizon, bathing the small town in an early morning golden glow. Everypony was likely still asleep which was why he had chosen this time of day to leave. He had never really left town before, but he was pretty sure that he was the type that would hate long goodbyes. Everypony would ask where he was going and what he would be doing. It was a question he couldn't answer because he didn't know himself. With a small smile, he remembered the faces of his friends. Would Twilight miss their conversations on Starswirl the Bearded? He was probably one of the few ponies in town who even cared about ancient pony history. Well, Widget would keep her occupied for a while. With a small smile and a sigh he shook his head. His best friend would be upset that he hadn't come by and said anything before leaving. As odd as it sounded, he knew Pinkie Pie would miss him. The two of them had tons of fun every day. Shaking off the feeling that threatened to overwhelm him, the midnight stallion couldn't help smiling wistfully.
"Later, everypony," he spoke softly.
Taking a moment to let the feeling wash over him, he turned and trotted down the road. It wasn't long before he arrived before the one place that he knew would make or break his ability to leave Ponyville. His hooves had made this journey a number of times in his youth. Even the bumps in the dirt road felt familiar. And he slowed to a stop right in front of the place he knew they would lead. Sweet Apple Acres. Subconsciously, he could feel the weight of the stuffed ursa in its saddlebag. She was the only one really tying him here now. His eyes couldn't help but stare at the barn that he used to know so well. Was it alright to go now and just leave everything behind? Leave everything unresolved?
Applejack had gone to bed later than normal, but earlier than most ponies. Sometime in the night she had moved back to her own bed, but she had barely remembered doing so once she was up and about. She let Big Macintosh and Granny sleep, and the girls too. With the sun peeking over the Horizon, Applejack had made herself a slice of apple pie for breakfast, then stepped out of the house. There were things she had to do, this morning. She went about to the side of the barn, and dragged a solid log from an old tree over, and laid it down. She had work to do to make up for her little bit of calamity last night. Grabbing a cutting ax with her teeth, Applejack brought it down forcefully on the log, cutting it to length in several short strokes. She stepped around it, the sound of her blows resounding across the orchard.
That was how Rogue found her, sweating and working hard, not noticing her observer on the road.
The sound of the axe on wood brought his attention from the barn itself to Applejack. There she was. Before he could stop himself, he felt his mouth and voice move of their own accord.
"Hey. Would you like some help?"
Rogue Heart's voice carried from where he was standing a short distance away by the fence. What was he doing? Hadn't he not wanted to have a long farewell? This was the place he had wanted to avoid the most, yet somehow his hooves had carried him here unbidden. It was early morning, his saddlebags were packed for a long journey, and he never offered his help with menial labor. But, for all his insight, the stallion's keen perception failed him right at that moment. He did not realize that it was obvious from his appearance he was obviously going somewhere and was not likely to be back anytime soon.
Applejack brought the axe down again, but almost flinched at the voice, missing her chop and tearing a chip out of the side of the new tent frame bar she'd been cutting. Applejack tossed the Axe down and looked over her shoulder. She'd have to start again. "Ah' got this..." she paused, and fixed him with a stare. Rogue Heart. She turned and trotted toward the fence. "Errr... ain't ever seen ya' up this early before. Ever." she said, then paused... those saddlebags...
"Yer... travelin' heavy t'day, RH. What are ya' up to?"
"Leaving."
The word was said simply, devoid of Rogue Heart's usual humorous tone. Because of that, it seemed to have weight--gravity that held serious meaning. It was obvious that he wasn't just going down to the Everfree Forest to spend the day. This was something far more permanent. Turning his head to the side to gaze in the direction of Ponyville, the corner of the stallion's mouth quirked upward into a wry smile.
"I didn't want anypony to know, so I left early. I'm not very good with goodbyes. When I was starting off down the road, I saw you here. I couldn't not say something." He couldn't help but give a small laugh in self-deprecation as he faced Applejack once again. "I suppose I should've left before the rooster crowed if I wanted to get up earlier than you." He couldn't help but give the mare a rueful grin. "You'll have to forgive me. I'm not used to this whole waking up early thing." There was his usual deflecting feeling uncomfortable with humor. There was a chance he may never seen Applejack again after this. If anything, he wanted to see her smile once more before he left.
He only got a frown from the farmpony, though. Applejack stared him in the face, bt it was hard to tell if she was angry or just concerned. Finally, though, she turned her gaze away. "Uhhh... Are ya' now?" she started. "Ah bet yer' buddy Widget would have somethin' ta say about that..." she ventured. As he laughed, mocking his failure to get up before her, Applejack let out a sigh. "An' so yer gonna make me tell everypony that ya' left."
She paused and lowered her head, looking back to the tent pole she'd messed up. WHy did she feel sad, now? Had she driven him to this> Or was he finally getting up off his flank and doing something... "Uhhh... Ah know it ain't mah business where yer' goin' or why." She started, and raised a hoof to her lip, then turned, starting back toward the workspace - behind the stack of wood and in a closed container, she pulled out a small satchel weighted with apples. "But Ponyville's yer home, so... ya know you can always come back, right?" she said, and carried the satchel over to him. "Ya got room for these?"
Applejack sighed... He had been the one who'd driven her off, so long ago. It was only once she'd left that she'd realized where she belonged... maybe.. it'd be the same for him...
Seeing Applejack sigh, he felt his emotions get the better of him. "That wasn't my--!" he began with an outburst that he cut off as he got a handle on himself. Taking a breath, he started again, his voice calm and tinged with a bit of sadness. His humor seemed to have died outright just then. "That wasn't my intention, Applejack. I wasn't even going to stop by. You're right, though. I've put you in an awkward position. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come." How could he have been such an idiot? This is what he got for not thinking before he did something. It was because of fear of situations like this that he usually thought things through completely before taking an action. Why did something have to happen now? With her? A stray thought came to mind that caused his mind to stop dead in its tracks.
Celestia! Maybe I gave all my luck with mares to Widget when I helped him.
It took Rogue Heart a few seconds to recover from the ensuing mental panic. Taking a moment to breath, he shook his head. "Even I don't know where I'm going, Applejack. But, I'm not sure if I'm coming back or not. Or even when that'll be. Ponyville's been my home, but it hasn't felt like it for quite a long time. Not since I've been a colt." Those years were probably the best in his life. Back when having a Cutie Mark or not didn't mean anything. He was brilliant and respected. Now, what was he? Hay, he didn't even know himself anymore.
Gazing at the offered satchel for a moment, he looked from it to the saddlebags on his back. The only space in them was next to the stuffed ursa, and he would rather be struck dead by Nightmare Moon right on the spot rather than open that flap to let Applejack see it. Of all ponies, not her. Not now. Taking the satchel in his mouth, he swung it over his body alongside the saddlebags. It was a little awkwardly placed, but he would bear it if only to not expose the secret he was carrying.
Glancing over his shoulder up the path that led away from Ponyville, he couldn't help but ask her. "What's out there? I've never been out of Ponyville before. Must've been exciting for you back then," he said, unconsciously stepping very close to an exposed nerve between the two of them. "Wonder what's out there for me. Hay, I might end up a real Daring Do," he mused dryly with a chuckle. It seemed that even when the mood was somber, he still habitually added in a little humor.
Applejack watched him, saw him recognize what he'd done to her now. She shook her head. "Ah... Don't worry about it, RH." she said. "Jus' take care of yerself." As he went on about home, Applejack glanced back at the farm behind her, then looked back to him, speaking up. "Ya' know... We were always gonna' get out of Ponyville together. That's what ah always told myself, when we were foals." she said, and sat down on the ruined log. There was room beside her, if Rogue thought he could take it.
"What's out there?" She said, and shrugged her hooves. "Ah realized that ah had everything ah needed right here. Ah dunno what yer' lookin' for, RH. But ah hope you can find it. Not everywhere's as kind as Ponyville. If ya go to a city.. ya gotta be able to earn yer own way, but there is a lot more work, too..." She sighed, again. It was hard to... talk to him now, but she didn't want to stop, because then he'd go. Why didn't she want him to go?
The sunrise with him, the topic... it was a throwback to good childhood memories - even if they ended badly. Applejack looked back up at him with those bright green eyes, and bit her lip. "Uhh.. RH.... Are ya' sure yer' ready for this? Ah mean... uhh.." she blushed a hint, and glared off to the side. Why was she coming off like she was pining over him now? "I don't want ya' to get hurt... an.. uhh... I mean... Feel free t'write..." she said, finally.
It took everything he had not to ask her to come with him. To run with him wherever they wanted to go. That it wasn't too late for them to pick things up and run with them however they felt best. He dug one of his back hooves into the ground to push back his feelings once again. Why was it always so hard to control himself around her? It was too late to go back to where they had been now. Not without something having changed, and right now nothing had. She had her Cutie Mark and was a respected member of Ponyville society--a hero to everypony. Saying he wasn't was an understatement. They were like Celestia and Nightmare Moon by comparison. He needed to leave. To change. To find out who he was and be a better pony. He didn't feel like he was good enough to apologize and fix things. Not yet.
Taking a seat on the log next to her, Rogue Heart breathed out a sigh. "Back then, huh?" he mused, gazing out over the rising sun. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of the past. "Yeah, you and me were going to take Equestria by storm." Things were different then. At that time he had been the pony respected by his peers and thought to be the up and coming member of Ponyville. Now, their roles were reversed. He had to admire the humor of it all.
Glancing down at the ground, the dark stallion sighed and shook his head. "No, Applejack. I'm honestly not sure if I'm ready for this. I'm worried. I know I'm smart, but I haven't ever been outside of Ponyville that I can remember. I don't know what's out there waiting for me," he stated, honestly expressing his concerns. He shifted position to sit up and faced her, his emerald eyes hardening with a bit of determination. "But, I do know that if I don't go now, I might not ever." That thought scared him more than anything. Never being able to find his purpose. And never being able to come back and tell her how he really felt. How sorry he was for what happened back then. How much he wished that he could make her happy.
"I should...go," he said after a few moments of silence. If he didn't leave now, he felt like his words would come true. Already he felt like he wanted nothing more than to attach himself to this log and sit with her just to feel her presence beside him. If he succumbed to that, he really never would leave. Getting off the ruined wood, he adjusted the satchel with the saddlebags on his back then took a few steps away. The rhythm of his hooves was steady for a few moments until he slowed to a stop and glanced over his shoulder. He needed to say something. He couldn't just leave it like this. His glanced over his shoulder at her form, and a wistful smile managed its way to his lips. Some mares looked their best in evening gowns. She looked the best here, smiling at the farm. She was beautiful. The words sprang unbidden to his lips. Words that he should have said to her back then when they were younger.
"I'll miss you, Jacks."
The pet name for her that held so much meaning for them. The name he had avoided calling her since she came back from Manehatten. In that moment, part of him was revealed if only a glimpse. It was fleeting just like his retreating form as he passed the fence and began his journey down the dirt road. While his body was headed off for parts unknown, he had left his heart in Sweet Apple Acres.
Applejack didn't say anything... She kicked her hooves a bit, feeling as awkward as she ever had, her heart thumping in her chest. Why was she getting so worked up now? What was wrong with her? She was past this,over it, and they were long since done. But she couldn't deny, as much as he irritated her, that she hated to see him leave.
Applejack looked up at him as he started to rise, and walk away, and her heart sunk. That name, those words...
Applejack stood up, and stepped after him. Just one step, her hoof poised for another. But no. She could not stop him now. He needed this, she saw. It was only when she had left Ponyville that she came to understand what she really wanted in life. And maybe he knew what he wanted here? But, maybe he was all wrong... facing the world would be the only way to know how you measured up. "Rogue... you better write. Widget'll be sad if you don't..."
Applejack let him go, with those words... As he disappeared around the corner of the trail and beyond the trees, the Farmpony sat down on the log again, trying to sort it all out. It felt like a blur, now, and she quickly set back to work, a fresh log, cutting a piece of pole for the tent she broke... but the whole thing happened as if she weren't really doing it herself. Before long, though, she was done and chopping apart the ruined pole into firewood chunks, when the schoolfillies were set out by Granny Smith to find Applejack, sweating and hard at work...
She did need to walk them up to the schoolhouse, she remembered. As her day began again, she felt the daze she'd fallen into lift. Everything would be alright...
This message was last edited by the player at 15:27, Thu 24 May 2012.