Re: Chapter 4: Abyss
"You... took my..." William pressed a hand to his mouth, fighting a wave of nausea. The emotions slammed through him so powerfully and so fast he could barely identify them; anger, horror, fear, love...
He quickly put up his walls, and the storm eased. His walls against torture. Horrific things had been done to him over the years he had lived here. Horrors and violations he could barely make himself remember, didn't think about, didn't talk about, for his own sanity. He had many coping mechanisms.
He didn't want Susan to have to go through this. To have to carve up her own psyche just to survive what was happening to her body. But if he couldn't stop that, at least she wasn't alone. He tried to remember, to throw his mind back to when this had all been new, so he could try and help her, understand what she was going through...
After a few moments of silence as he struggled not to vomit, William let his hand fall away from his face. He hiccuped a small laugh. "I would have done the same thing," he said thickly. "Susan... I would have done the same thing for you. But... please, we... we can't give them what they want. They'll take it anyway, but... we can't just give it to them. That he... threatened your..." Rage fought for a place in his expression as he struggled to keep his voice even. "Your virginity... I understand, it was too frightening and... disgusting. But..." He searched for the words, idly reaching up to touch his scabbed lips. "We have to... call every bluff, even if its not a bluff. They expect things to go a certain way, and I've always tried to... well, to mess it up. To be as uncooperative as possible. It's the only way I could fight." But then he frowned. "Though I always paid for it. I thought it was worth it, but..." He looked at her, the agony she felt reflected in his eyes. "Maybe it's not the best way for you to fight."