Re: Episode 1: Gateway
Time seemed to fly and yet move very slowly, the previous few days had passed in what seemed at once a matter of minutes and several months.
As they were eating their daily meal, Zhorr looked at his companions to see who had a story for the day, and realized it was once again his turn.
"Well, well, well. Let's see.
"Alright, so remember Lia? Cutest half-elf you've ever seen? Well, it's been a year since Max up and left - and by the way, what kind of Paladin does that? You don't just leave your group in the middle of a forest! We never heard from him again, by the way, for all I know he was eaten by the worg's mate. Serves him right...
"Anyway, a year has gone by, and we are definitely not as green as we used to be.
"Actually, Lia is greener than she used to be, in that she's started dying her hair green. Don't ask why, I kinda thought it was a Druid thing, bur most Druids I met afterwards didn't really do that, so go figure. Maybe I am just a weirdness magnet?
"Anyway! Somehow I have been promoted to front line fighter, me and my shiny chainmail, and Lia is in charge of keeping me alive and healthy, plus all the other Druidy things that I won't claim to understand, but that really work.
"We make quite a team, Lia and I... She still loves forest a bit more than I would like, tough: she would be happy as can be if we just settled down in a little lair in the woods and lived like rabbits or something.
"Now, it's not that I don't like the idea of living like rabbits... Or some aspects of it at least... But as I said I am really not the outdoorsy type, and we both know that, and we try to make allowances for one another's faults.
"So we just travel, spending half of our time in cities and half in the wilderness. Overall, it works out pretty well.
"One day, we find about these catacombs, chock full of undead, and what little information we have swears upon a pile of holy books that there is a sizable treasure at the bottom... Or the center... Somewhere deep down, anyway.
"Thing is, at this point, my spells have spread over more than one spellbook, and I am starting to understand why the blessed book got that name: I can never find the right damned one.'
"So, long story short, I want a blessed book, and I wouldn't mind a ring of wizardry either, and Lia has more than a few things she would love as well, so we are thinking this tomb or whatnot might be what we are looking for.
"But. One Magus and one Druid against an unknown number of undead, plus probably several traps? We really don't like our odds there. So we begin inquiring discreetly in the nearest town, trying to figure out if there is somebody who would be suited to accompany us.
"One evening, while we are having dinner, this guy approaches our table. He's dressed in a black robe. And I'm already thinking: 'This is not a good sign.'
"And then he opens his mouth... And he's whispering. A really low whisper, as in, we only get about half of his words, and now I am thinking: 'This is really not a good sign'
"Because I can actually see under his hood, you see, and this kid is probably not even sixteen. No way he's the powerful necromancer he pretends to be.
"Now, just on general principles, I cast a detect magic, and I fully expect that he will smirk at me... Instead, he gives me a confused look and asks me if I could repeat that, like he didn't quite get I was casting a spell and not talking to him...
"Anyway, now I see Lia, shining like the pretty star she is, and I notice that there's a guy in the back of the tavern that I taken for a peasant but who has to be at least an adept, because he might not dress up but he has a pretty flashy aura...
"And our supposed necromancer, you ask? Blank. Totally blank. Like he hasn't prepared a spell in weeks.
"So either this guy is a really powerful spellcaster who can mask his aura like nobody's business, and has decided to disguise as a teenage kid for some reason, and he's so good that he'll even pretend not to know the words to a detect magic, or I just found a teenage kid in serious need of some attitude readjustment.
"At this point, I am just giving him more and more rope, to see how he has decided to hang himself, and I notice how he's not actually looking at me when I talk to him... So I start to connect the dots.
"I may have failed to mention a couple of things about my green-haired half-elf companion... One is that her human ancestor, her father, was a merchant from the Far East, from a proud warrior race. They call themselves the 'nime. Not neemeh, mind you, though it does sound almost exactly the same and it took me a while to learn how to pronounce it in a way that wouldn't make Lia cringe...
"Anyway, she has green hair and exotic features, and she's as cute as any half elf you've ever seen. She also likes to wear some pretty short tunics, and not much else. Put that all together, and she really, really, really catches your eye.
"And I am looking at the scene, and I'm thinking that when this kid is looking at her green hair he really, really, really wants to see if the magic carpet matches the veil of veils - if you'll forgive the expression.
"So we tell him that we are going to need somebody to take care of traps and locks, and he starts expounding the virtues of this friend of his, the best locksmith in town - wink wink... No, really, he's winking at us. Twice. that's when I start thinking I'm gonna put so much fear of the gods in this kid he's gonna pee his pants, so help me.
"Yeah, I decide I am going to readjust this kid's attitude myself, and we agree to meet the following morning near a cave not far from the town. He'll bring his friend so that we can meet him.
"The following morning, we meet at the cave, and of course he and his friend are all over Lia. I could catch on fire there and then and they wouldn't notice. While they are otherwise occupied, I cast a cantrip I don't actually prepare very often: ghost sound.
"The oblivious duo continues to try to impress Lia, who is feigning interest, and a few seconds later the biggest roar these two kids have ever heard comes from deep inside the cave.
"They immediately take on a nice shade of grey.
"So I go: 'I know this sound! It's the dreaded Skeletal Dragon! Good thing we have you, necromancer, or we would certainly be doomed: this monster is impervious to normal weapons, and highly resistant to magic!
"As my words sink in, I start to perceive a distinctive odor coming from our necromancer, and I'm thinking, mission accomplished, and then some... The next roar goes off, and he and his friend bolt. I shout something at them, along the lines of 'No! Please! Come back, or the dragon will certainly kill us both!', and then they are behind the hill and Lia and I burst into laughter.
"So I wipe my tears and dismiss the ghost sound.
"And then the third roar comes from the cave.
"See, we hadn't actually scouted the area, we'd just seen the cave as we were approaching the town, and somehow we had not considered the possibility that there might be other dwellers in the cave.
"So this big golden thing comes out, scampering on eight robust legs, clearly angry that we woke him up, and I honestly have no idea what it is, until Lia goes 'oh no, it's an aurumvorax!'
"I still don't know what that means, but I know that something with 'vorax' in its name is probably not vegetarian, and likely nothing I want to fight in close combat unless I dictate the terms of it.
"So I cast my latest and greatest spell.
"Unfortunately, what with all the excitement, I kinda forget that this particular spell has a relatively big area of effect... So I don't quite realize that casting it in front of the beast when said beast is only a couple of steps from us is not my best idea ever - as it will put the two of us well within range. Not until after I cast it, that is.
"Don't get me wrong, it works, really does, and next chance I get I cast a Fly on myself, so I can fight the monster on my terms, and we all live to tell the tale. However, after the fight, Lia has some words for me. Big ones. Really, big. I mean, I'm pretty sure I heard some hyphens in there!
"You see, there is this small detail that she never actually told me, but apparently just expected me to naturally know: as her father had made a point to inform her, way back when, girls of her lineage should never be in the area of effect of that kind spell, lest the magic go awry and behave unexpectedly.
"At this point I am really confused as to what kind of arcane knowledge she thinks I have, so finally I just look her straight in the eye and tell her:
"'Lia! How the heck was I supposed to know that 'nime girls and Black Tentacles are sworn enemies?'"
This message was last edited by the player at 10:35, Sat 01 Feb 2014.