Re: Character Conversations
OOC: Joint post between Penny, Simon, and briefly Castiel, with some responses interleaved.
Penny sat herself on a pew to relax her posture. 'You excused yourself so quickly after that breakfast. I went looking for you, but you'd already left with Mr Browne. I had no choice but to leave a note under your door, hoping you might return in time to find it, or else deal with my suspicions.'
'At the time, I still suspected Miss Green of being an enemy agent, for her mesmeric powers. I suspected the timing of her spell, that Kate would be sent into a trap. So I resolved to accompany her. Of course, I could say nothing while she was present, and had to hide my own thoughts most thoroughly to conceal them from Miss Green's mind. To act on instinct is the only way. As it was, she was not the spy, but rather our demon infiltrators, but there was a trap prepared for Kate nonetheless.'
'And, yes, I confess, to Castiel here, that I desperately wanted to see the future as well. I cannot deny that. And it was reckless; as much as I feel myself to be a level-headed person, recklessness has long been a fault of mine. My motives may be mixed, good and bad, selfish and unselfish. I feel that is quite natural. I am a woman born ahead of my time, the future draws me to it, I feel. With us soon returning to the time of my birth, that may even be the case.'
'So, you see, the contents of my note were genuine and honest. If I did not make it back, I wished my wealth in America to go your charity. I trusted you. But you refused it, sent it back, postmarked barely a day later. All that, hurled back in my teeth across the century. I felt so very betrayed.' Penny revealed, her voice tight with emotion and hands clasped.
'No, I should not have tried to strike you, at least not with a fist. I sincerely apologise for that. The future is a very daring time. And, well, men's clothing has an effect on one.'
That was it. She felt good to get it off her chest. She'd told the full truth, before an angel no less. She hoped Simon could understand, and reveal the source of his own anger, to resolve their dispute. Perhaps it had just been simple misunderstandings and emotions, brewing up in a witch's cauldron into something terrible. 'That is it. Please, tell me your account. Let us clear this up.'
Simon thought for a very long time. The most difficult part was making sure he did not say something that would reignite the turmoil. He broached the subject as tenderly as he knew how. "Have you ever played Dominoes, Penny? Not the card game, the game where you line up the tiles standing and then tip last in line so that it knocks all the others over and eventually they form a pattern?"
'Yes, as a child.' Penny answered on the question of dominoes, wondering where this odd topic was leading.
He nodded, "I am sure you have, The Detective showed it to me to help me visualize patterns being revealed. Keep that image in mind, please."
He went on, adding hand motions as appropriate. "Ancient Hebrews believed history was circular, that it repeated itself over and over without end. Then Christ was born. Of course the Temple was destroyed and the Jewish people scattered. Most Jewish people now await the return of Isaiah, and the cyclic view of history has long since fallen by the wayside. History has a beginning and an ending, and the Bible is kind enough to give us the ending. We do not know the day or the hour, and neither does Satan so he must raise up an Anti-Christ in each generation just in case."
He paused, "May I borrow your note book and pencil, please?" Assuming she allows this he takes it and begins drawing while he speaks. "Now think of time as a river, it has a source, God and an ending, but only The Father knows when this will occur. However, like any river, time can be diverted." He handed her back her pad with two drawing, one was a straight river and the other was a winding slough river. "I believe this second river is the river of time. It flows toward the ending but we humans can divert it, and push it into long slow curves that wind and meander. Satan wants the opposite, he wishes to speed up, to hasten the end of days because regardless of God's power he believes he will prevail and so do his followers. What we are caught up in right now is a war among Satan's generals, a via for Satan's attentions and favor because they all believe they will win and whomever has Satan's favor will have a greater share of the spoils."
She passed over the notebook and pencil, listening curiously to Simon's Christian view of time and history. She might have debated it further with what science had uncovered and her own experiences, but now was not the time for a discussion of science, philosophy, and faith, a discussion fraught with the potential for fresh argument.
He looked distant for a moment, "When you left, you crossed a bridge between the curving flow of time and in essence it is possible that you hastened the End of Days. This was bad, for me as I thought you callus to the plight of those in the gulf between here and there." He looked carefully at her, "I do not believe that now. Regardless, had you not left Lily and I would not have been able to connect and I would likely still be...pining...for you without hope of return on my affections." He smiled so that she understood he was not angry about this either. "Your attempt at punching me, while a bit aggressive, was within your temperament and it is that, your personality that I felt most compelling. Certainly I felt a carnal attraction for you and when I used the term mate it was an attempt on my part to soften the gender issues of marriage which you seem to have. Seem I say because I cannot know your mind unless you speak it. It was indeed your reaction to my revelation that I was infatuated with you that hurt more than your attempted attack or even your leaving for the future. You dismissed me as if I were beneath you."
He held up a hand, knowing she would want to respond but wanting to finish his point first, "It was an immediate reaction, visceral, to your immediate reaction. I did not feel we could mend fences at that point because too much hurt had passed between us. It was Lily who gently reminded me that to err is human. I am glad that you reached out with a gift," a look passed across his face as if he had just been reminded of something important, "and I am glad that you and I have been able to get to this point, where a grave has been dug for our hatchet. Now all that remains is to toss it in and cover it over." He extended his hand as if this small gesture could do that very thing.
She took back the notepad, staring at the sketch as Simon went on, growing uncomfortable and flushed with embarrassment as Simon professed again his former feelings for her. When he finished, she remained quiet for some time, turning over her thoughts and considering her response. She spoke at last, her words cool and measured. 'Everyone says more than they intend in a heated moment, and extremes of emotion provoke extremes of view. My words were borne of anger, though I stand by them in their context... Romantic interests make me uncomfortable. I never knew my mother, so I have had no one to guide me as a woman. I have never been a débutante; I have little knowledge or experience in courtship. I have heard conservative views from men that have made me wary and keen to maintain my independence. I have faced monsters that prey on women— my experiences have made me fearful... And, in any case, the life of a hunter, with its secrecy and danger, makes it quite difficult to pursue any romantic relationship. Yours was the first expression of interest I have received that I consider genuine and of honest motivation, and in my inexperience I was utterly shocked. Perhaps in my anger that turned to worse feelings... But, please, do not think me unable to return affection – not even yours. I am as able as anyone, and I am as whole a woman as any.' She looked up to Simon, blue eyes saddened by lost possibility, saying 'I believe I could have been open to the possibility, before. Now we shall not know what could have been.'
She stretched out her arms, feeling so wearied by these admissions and intense feelings kept restrained. 'As for the river of time, it is not for me to know God's plan. I feel I can only endeavour to preserve and improve my own small section of it. That may be all God intends us to do... Regardless, my leaving was not where the interference arose. It was when Belial lured Kate Piper back in time. With her able assistance, we were victorious against the Bentlys and their minions, and Emma was brutally punished for her disobedience.' Penny looked up to Castiel, her face tight with feeling. 'But Castiel informed me in 2013 that, without Kate, the fight should have gone much worse against us, that both Ian Shaw and myself would have been slain.' she revealed, her words cold and mournful for her lost, other self. 'He assured me it is true. Belial's wicked plans for me would have been ruined, and Emma Bently would have been free to cover up her crime and enact her plot against him.'
'In hindsight, I should always regret flipping a large dining table, soup tureen, and complete dinner service over the Bentlys.' she added with a dry chuckle.
'So, you see, the lost history is one that depends on my death. I cannot accept that, nor can I accept that God's plan requires that I die, though I assure you I would sacrifice myself to guarantee a greater good. But it is Hell's plans there were upset, not Heaven's. Fortuitously, I believe my leap into the future saved Kate in turn and has helped to undo Belial's schemes and restore the flow of time.'
He nodded, "I think, perhaps, God intended you to go with Kate. I do not know why. I accept it on faith. Something else is going on here, and I have decided that on faith I will accept that."
He smiled at Penny, "I think if I was suppose to stop you I would have gotten your note before you left. So you see, you were suppose to go. I would like for us to both be able to put this behind us and move on. We are allies. I hope we might be friends. In any case I trust you to act according to your conscience and in that vein you will do as God bids you."
Penny placed her hand against Simon's, so each could hold the other as equals. 'Then the hatchet is buried and the matter is settled. I forgive you, Father. I am glad we could resolve this with clear heads. Now, let us put the worst of this behind us, and keep the best of this with us.'
He let her hand go, grateful for resolving conflict between them. "Remember the dominoes? We you and I, even Castiel I think, are all Dominoes in God's grand design. We cannot know the design until we see it from above, but we can all do our part. I agree that God has other intention for you than to die then. I accept on faith that you will fulfill His plan for you," He leaned in and spoke quietly, even though he was rather certain Castiel could hear him, "and perhaps it is here in this room with you? Don't let another opportunity slip by for fear Penny. Fear is good, it keeps us from making mistakes, but if over wrought it is as wrong as lust or any other base emotion. I implore you to at least be brave as I know you are and take this opportunity I leave you with."
Leaning back he coughed loudly, "Yes well I had better go and be sure that dear Lily is not missing me too badly." He gave formal and polite bow to Penny and a grin and nod to Castiel.
Penny nodded in agreement as Simon suggested it had all been God's plan. She sincerely hoped so. She had a wry smile. 'Dominoes we may be, but I should not want to be toppled over.'
But she blushed as Simon made his suggestion, easily getting the hint this time. 'I was speaking hypothetically,' she reminded him with emphasis on her earlier words, 'And leading into the topic of the nephilim.' Circuitously, she had perhaps evaded the specifics of her personal issue, and dealt out half-truths and hypotheticals, whilst getting the advice she needed and steering the conversation toward the matter of Lily. Oh, she found Castiel handsome, and good and gentle as an angel might be expected. He was a marvellous fancy for many women. But he was also too cool and remote to be a friend, he could not be pictured as a husband or father. And knowing the curse of the nephilim, she could not pass that on. No, it was the devilishly charming bit of rough that was Ian Shaw who intrigued and inflamed a sheltered noblewoman like Penny. But even he did not seem marriageable material. Penny wished affairs of the heart could as free as they were in 2013.
Or perhaps she was just furiously backpedalling and still too shy for that sort of thing today.
'Be careful. Do not give the nephilim a hint that you are aware of Lily's secret, else there will be trouble. Wait until she arises naturally, then speak with her if you can.' she warned Simon, not wanting him to be too carefree with Lily.
Penny looked around the chapel. 'I will stay and pray a while. I have much to think about before we set off.'
Castiel listens to the exchange somewhat awkwardly. Well...that was all quite personal he notes flatly. Perhaps it is best that I meet you in the past after all if there isn't anything else? Perhaps less based on attraction and women's roles in the Victorian era? His question is not sarcastic but genuine and you notice he is amusingly stiff at social interactions though he is polite and kind. The art of conversation is something he hasn't quite learned yet and your personal exchange seems to have thrown him a bit.
'Yes, well, I'd rather not have revealed so much...' Penny answered stiffly. 'But thank you for standing by as a...' Mediator, chaperon? Neutral third-party? The angel hadn't said or done anything, though she felt his calm presence had helped both of them settle their differences with cooler, clearer heads and open hearts. 'A friend.' She touched Castiel's forearm in thanks, lingering a moment in wonderment at earlier admissions. 'Yes, we shall see you, ah, then.'
This message was last edited by the player at 05:55, Mon 28 Sept 2015.