Re: Chapter 3: Bloody Roads
Glaring daggers at him, Penny declined his hand and stood up on her own. She didn't need his help. She also declined the invitation to sit, preferring to stand for now and have the opportunity to leave, if she needed. As it was, she stalked about the room like a caged tiger, and avoided setting eyes on Simon.
She was puzzled as he spoke of his faith — Orthodox, isn't that more common in eastern Europe and Russia? Then he got to the point and Penny was shocked, stopped in her tracks. Physically attracted? To me? Mate, not wife, he said. He was talking about lust, about sex, she realised, horrified. She felt with flushed with embarrassment and her skin crawled in discomfort. She was more embarrassed now than when Castiel had visited her in the shower; at least the angel had no desire. Turning around, she quickly buttoned up her jacket, covering the t-shirt. Why should a scrap of cloth be such an issue? Blast the fellow for bringing it up. Well, at least he was being forthcoming now and not insulting her.
It was a long time before she answered, breathing out her anger and frustration. 'So, you put a vase on an unstable pedestal, and when it falls off you blame the vase rather than the pedestal?' she tried. She spoke sharply, trying to control her feelings and keep them out of her voice. 'First, let us be clear: I am not here to be your mate, your wife, your romantic interest, your muse or inspiration, nor anything else. I am your fellow hunter, a fellow human being, and that is all. Whatever feelings you have are your own affair — I do not share them.' Maybe that was a twinge of regret.
Finally, she sighed, admitting to herself her recklessness recently. She had to explain herself, if only to settle this feud with Simon Cole. 'Self-centred, perhaps, yes, I am. It is how I was raised, but I have always tried to think and act with regard to others. I would not be in this business if I did not. You have your failings, priest, and I have mine. It makes us human, not angels. Are you disappointed I am not an angel like Mr Castiel?'
'Now, my note was rushed, but honest. I did want to see the world of the future, and who could say they wouldn't? But I also genuinely felt Miss Piper was walking into danger. I could not have persuaded myself to do what I did had I not. As it was, no sooner had we arrived than we were accosted and pursued by demons. Thus, now, I do not regret it. Even if I had never been able to come home.'