I agree with all that, Guardian. We didn't achieve what we intended in getting Sereth exiled, but this turned out to be a rather good story because of it. Everyone was true to their ideals, and we had a good, honest outcome, and a more hopeful one. (And we avoided the contrived drama that plagues modern TV,
Doctor Who included, which the exile idea could have been.) Except it ends in Sereth's departure, though it was a very well done companion departure. But it's so sad! :(
What I had figured was that Smoke would be alone in the palace, increasingly desperate and confused, and would do something rash like attack the Emperor. Maybe I should have put her more in harm's way to push Sereth harder; I was picturing a fall off the tower or Lestasel threatening her life. I was even expecting serious injury or death, as I was so low on Story Points. But given the choice of saving the Emperor or saving the girl, she had to save the girl. :)
quote:
It was pretty clear where Smoke Alarm's mission was going, but I admit I was surprised that she named Zevid: as observed, that makes the fallout much worse than the whole thing being prompted by one treasonous minister who could safely be dealt with through the normal course of justice.
Well, Lestasel was happy to be blamed for it, provided Zevid's role stayed secret. Exposing Zevid should completely eliminate anything Lestasel could have hoped to achieve. Smoke reasoned he'd have to give up then, obviously not expecting he'd wasn't going to be reasonably.
Ishkavaarr appeared briefly in the NA novel
Love and War. I thought immediately of Sereth, that he would be a good past example of the kind of Draconian Sereth is. So I was going to have Smoke steal an artwork and give it to Sereth to console him in his exile. I altered that idea for his departure here. I think it works better this way. :)
Final ideas for this story:
* Stanley sees to all Smoke's injuries.
* Smoke Alarm does the how-you-do to the Emperor, and he does it back.
* Smoke and Sereth have that chase they talked about earlier.
Sereth:
Actually Trav; that was part of my reasonings for having Sereth do as he did. I felt Trav was starting to lean on Sereth (and this is not a bad thing BTW), as 'he'll know what's right'. My next character won't be any kind of anti-hero; but he'll be more like Leela or Ace, someone who does 'what needs to be done'.
You probably won't want to be too much like Leela or Ace, as that would get very close to Smoke Alarm. Not that that's a bad thing or that you should feel restricted. The more Kangs, the merrier, really. :D
This message was last edited by the player at 03:41, Mon 16 May 2016.