Tales and Songs of Valarez.   Posted by DM.Group: 0
 GM, 2266 posts
Sat 19 Aug 2017
at 17:37
Tales and Songs of Valarez
Feel free to post any and all tales and songs that are created during the course of the game.  We have had a few at this point so I wanted a place to keep them from getting lost when I'm haphazardly deleting old threads.
Antonio de la Vega
 player, 141 posts
 Dashing Swordsman
Sat 19 Aug 2017
at 19:50
Tales and Songs of Valarez
Defeat of the Doom Lord at Asper Bay

"Well friends let me tell you that you are currently looking at one of the few men in all of Valarez who has looked the Doom Lord in the eye and lived to tell the tale. You might think to yourselves: 'no one encounters the Doom Lord on the high seas and lives to tell the tale'. But if so, then you must tell me my friends, where do the stories come from? You might then think to yourselves: 'perhaps he's just a lout who has come in here to tell us tales.' Well, my friends as it so often proves, the truth is stranger than fiction. The tale that I am about to tell you is so incredible, that you will not dare disbelieve it!"

"I have just returned from a voyage across the Amicus Ocean and Asper Bay to the small town of Tolero. The vessel on which I had booked passage was returning to Valarez when, in the rough waters of Asper Bay, we sighted a ship. One glance through the spyglass was enough to confirm our fears, it was Ferrignian pirates. Our captain made a valiant effort to escape but they had the wind and there was nothing to be done. As the vessel drew closer we realized that our lot was even worse than we had suspected. The pirate vessel was none other than that of the Doom Lord Geron. Now I am no coward and neither were my companions, but even the stoutest heart would have wavered in such a situation. We were pinned against the shore and shortly to be forced into a fight with one of the most feared pirate crews in the known world."

As he takes his drink he casts a glance around the room to ensure that he has everyone's rapt attention. He continues his tale from this point, describing in eloquent detail every aspect of the battle from the initial pirate broadside, to his own counter-boarding of the enemy vessel in order to face enemy mages, and volleys of crossbow bolts fired against the pirates. He does not neglect to mention the contributions of his companions, one of whom mowed down pirates with his gunpowder weapons and the other who transformed into a monstrous lizard. Just as this story reaches a fever pitch, he suddenly gets quiet.

"... and that is when he came on deck. The Doom Lord himself, clad in black plate mail and wielding a massive battleaxe. He was truly a terrifying sight. The entire battle seemed to slow to watch as he emerged. I naturally moved to engage him in the hopes of at least delaying him long enough that my companions could move to my aid. Sadly even I, a swordsman of no small skill, was little match for the Doom Lord. He gave me this to remember him by." Here Antonio lifts one of his pant legs to reveal a tightly wrapped bandage. "As each of my companions joined in the fight against him, we each came to a solemn realization: even together we were no match for this foe. It was then, when all hope seemed lost, that our salvation appeared. It was not another ship, nor a lucky blow which saved us. No, it was a little girl. Another passenger on our vessel who, with more courage than many men I have known, had boarded to Doom Lord's vessel and now smote him at point blank range with a gunpowder pistol."
"The Doom Lord fell to his knees there before me. Bleeding from a wound delivered by a child. The mighty Doom Lord used magic to flee from the battle lest he be killed because of the actions of a brave little girl!"
Wyn Roth
 player, 711 posts
 Undertaker Extraordinaire
 Adoptive Dragonkin
Sat 19 Aug 2017
at 19:54
Tales and Songs of Valarez
The Human and the Grasshopper

Through the wonders of evolution

A grasshopper learned to speak.

So excited by his revelation

The grasshopper rushed off

To tell the first human

He could find

About his amazing discovery.

But when the first human

Happened along

He did not see

The little grasshopper

Standing in the path

Waving his tiny arms...

And the careless human

Lost in his thoughts

Stepped on the poor little grasshopper.

And all he

Could manage to say to the human

Was "ouch"

Please note: This was stolen from the internet.

This message was last edited by the player at 20:09, Sat 19 Aug 2017.

 NPC, 43 posts
 The White Dragon
Sat 19 Aug 2017
at 19:59
Tales and Songs of Valarez
Local Drinking Song

"And you can't find your waitress with a divination
And she hates you and your friends and you just can't get served without her
And the city-office is drooling, and the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling, and the ash-trays have retired
'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me"

 GM, 2276 posts
Tue 22 Aug 2017
at 15:04
Tales and Songs of Valarez
Styx's Faerie Tale

"Once upon a time, in a forest where fairies, nymphs, druids, and fey dwelled, there was a knight who found himself lost one night. As he stumbled through the darkness, he suddenly heard the sweetest song drifting on the breeze. He followed the lullaby and suddenly broke through the trees. The song stopped suddenly as he stumbled into the clearing that was bathed moonlight. The knight caught his feet and when he looked up, he was met by the sight of a druid girl. Her hair was black as the night and her eyes shone of a brilliant green. She did not wear armor but a light, white gown. The druid got to her feet and gave a gentle smile. "Welcome, lost one." her voice was the origin of the song that called to the knight as was light as bells. "My name is Draíochta." The druid said as she took a few steps towards him. The knight seemed scared, as this was the first time he had ever encountered a druid."

"The druid, sensing the knights unease ceased her advance and told him, "Please, do not be afraid. I mean you no harm. I wish to know what brings you into the depths of the forest at this late hour." The knight relaxed a bit at her words and approached her but kept his distance. His hand rested on the hilt of his sword, his trust not won over just yet. "I am Sir Marc of the king's guard. I was paroling with my comrades and we were separated. Could you please point me in the way of the town?" Draíochta smiled at his speaking, liking the sound of his strong voice. "You are very far from any town. This area is quite dangerous, especially on eves with a full moon watching. I ask that you find shelter for the night and try to find your way come morning." she answered him. Sir Marc took in her reply and thought it over. "Where am I to go? If we are as deep in the forest as you say, there are no people for me to ask a bed from." he said, dismayed. A mischievous smile turned the corners of the druid's lips up as she spoke, "Well, you could always ask me for shelter." This comment took Sir Marc aback and he wondered if the druid's previous warning could be about herself. 'Why would she help me?' he thought, 'I have nothing to offer her and she has no reason to show me kindness.' His musing was soon interrupted by Draíochta saying, "If you refuse then please take care with traipsing through the forest, it would not do you well to wake the fairies." This certainly made Sir Marc uneasy."

"Fairies?" Sir Marc said, making a disbelieving face. "They don't exist! Nothing more than old wives tales. I think you should come with me back to civilization if you believe such trivial things." A frown curled Draíochta's lips downwards at his words. "So, you do not believe in, what your people call, fairy tales? If that is the case, then by all means, carry on your way. A strong knight such as yourself should have nothing to fear of nonexistent beings." the druid said, in a very serious voice. "But be warned," as she spoke her voice lost the sweet sound of bells and became very serious, like the wind, "Even if you yourself do not believe in something, it does not mean it does not exist. I can not leave this forest for I am its life force, yet even the fairies do not obey my commands. It is likely that they have already heard what you have to say in this grove and are displeased." Draíochta flicked her hand as she turned her back to the knight and started for the treeline. "Begone, lost soul. You are no longer welcome in my forest." Sir Marc could do nothing but watch the druid's fleeting form as the weight of what had just transpired sank in. When the druid was gone, clouds covered the moon and the grove fell into darkness. "What have I done?" he breathed as he looked about. "If she was truly a spirit of the forest then I am doomed." With despair heavy on his mind, Sir Marc set back out into the forest. As he moved through the thick trees, a pale blue light appeared in front of him. It moved back and forth in gentle motion before dashing away. 'This may be my only chance.' he though and began to run after it. He paid no mind to what was under his feet or where he was going. Sir Marc became hopeful as he began to gain on it and reached out his hand to grab it. Just before his fingertips touched the light, his foot found no ground and he was sent downward. The mischievous spirit had lead him off the path and to the edge of a cliff. Sir Marc rolled and tumbled down the edge of the cliff to the ground below. He could not see or tell what happened only that when he landed it was not as hard as he had expected it to be. As he slowly opened his eyes, he saw moonlight and the face of Draíochta peering down at him. A soft smile touched her lips as she spoke, "See? Fairies are real and they are quite dangerous. That little one just tried to bring you to your demise." Sir Marc quickly scrambled to his feet and looked down at what he had landed on. He found that there was a soft patch of moss that had grown solely where he had landed and his face showed his astonishment. Draíochta smiled at his expression, her eyes showing a gentle and kind light to them. "Neither I nor the forest wishes to harm you, just trust us and we will show you the way home." she said as she held her hand out to the knight. Sir Marc hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and taking the druid's hand. Draíochta grinned and suddenly disappeared. When she did though, the moonlight moved to show a path that formed as the trees bent to clear. "Go, follow the call of the wild and you will be safe." Draíochta's voice whispered in Sir Marc's ear. Sir Marc wasted no time and hastily began following the path. He followed the light and trees closely as they turned. It seemed like only a few short minutes that he was going when suddenly he broke through the treeline. In front of him was his town, sleepy lanterns lit in the windows and on taverns. He looked to see the sun rising with the dawn and it brought him hope. Sir Marc turned around back to the forest from where he just came and saw Draíochta standing at the treeline. "The wild forests are not your enemy, you need only to ask for their help and they will answer." she said with a smile before turning and vanishing into the darkened trees. Sir Marc would never forget what happened that night. He would forever remember the druid and her words. An deireadh."

This message was last edited by the GM at 15:58, Tue 22 Aug 2017.

Folfast Balhon
 NPC, 8 posts
 Author, poet & playwright
 Guest at the Dragon's Den
Tue 22 Aug 2017
at 15:58
Tales and Songs of Valarez

Oh, a man loved a maid
And the maid did smile
And her smile was a look of pure delight
And her smile was ray of pure sunlight
And she smiled at the man
And the man grew bold
So bold, so bold, so I have been told
And he offered his hand
To the maid with the smile
And they danced and they danced and they danced a while
And the music soared
As the band played on
And the board did tap and roll and strum
And the fiddle did drone and pluck and hum
And the pipes did rise to the beat of the drum
And the maid loved the man
So they went to the church
And they danced and they danced right down the aisle
And the priest said the words
As they stood hand in hand
The happiest pair in all the land
And they smiled and they danced
Their whole lives long ...
And the Poacher's flowed all around, all around
And the Poacher's flowed all around !
Poppy Pleasance
 NPC, 20 posts
Tue 22 Aug 2017
at 16:02
Tales and Songs of Valarez
Mama's Soup Surprise

Oh, when I was a little kid I never liked to eat,
Mama'd put things on my plate, I'd dump them on her feet,
But then one day she made this soup, I ate it all in bed,
I asked her what she put in it, and this is what she said:

“Chicken lips and lizard hips and alligator eyes.
Monkey legs and buzzard eggs and salamander thighs.
Rabbit ears and camel rears and tasty toe-nail pies.
Stir them all together, it's Mama's Soup Surprise!"

I went into the bathroom and stood beside the sink,
I said, "I'm feeling slightly ill, I think I'd like a drink.”
 Mama said "I've just the thing, I'll get it in a wink,
It's full of dirty water, and other things that stink.”

With all due respect to The Boss.

This message was last edited by the player at 16:39, Tue 22 Aug 2017.

Folfast Balhon
 NPC, 13 posts
 Author, poet & playwright
 Guest at the Dragon's Den
Mon 18 Sep 2017
at 23:57
Tales and Songs of Valarez
"Gentles !  Ladies !  And those of lower birth and worse repute !  Raise your cups and hearken to the tale of the fearsome Dragon that dwelled beneath the streets of our fair city and how she and her offspring found favour in the deeds of those in whose tavern you now sup !!"

Folfast counts in Winnie and Poppy ... two, three ...

Oh, I'll tell ye a tale that's not so old
A tale of the brave, the proud and the bold.
The tale of the dragon who eyes bright glowed,
The Dragon who lived in the sewers-O.

Yes, the Dragon who lived in the sewers-O.
Fol-de-rol-de rolo-o

Oh, once the zoo kept beasts that thought
With no concern for if they ought
Until the queen with sympathy
Did speak the words that set them free
Their keepers groaned and grumbled loud
But swore an oath they’d not be cowed

So the Dragon who lived in the sewers-O.
Fol-de-rol-de rolo-o

The unbowed keepers went neath ground
With dragon’s egg that they had found
They raised the young, til mother came
And put an end to their mad game
She raised her young, in filth and grime
And hunted in the woods, part-time

Did the Dragon who lived in the sewers-O.
Fol-de-rol-de rolo-o

Poor Wilric rode the dragon’s mouth,
Toward the city, flying south
With Roths and Jackson giving chase
Were hot of foot and red of face
As Claire sends warning to the gate
In hope the troopers won’t be late.

For the Dragon who lived in the sewers-O.
Fol-de-rol-de rolo-o

Thence deep beneath the city fair
Where few remember, fewer dare.
Did Kezra, Heath and Jackson face
The mother dragon in her base.
The Dragon’s winning, Kezra falls
But Gedd the Ranger’s standing tall

By the Dragon who lived in the sewers-O.
Fol-de-rol-de rolo-o

His sword at ready, primed to strike,
He saved the youngling from the spike.
Then speaking freely with the dam
Negotiated cunning plan.
The dragons leave the city free
Took wing to forests by the sea

Flew the Dragon who lived in the sewers-O.
Fol-de-rol-de rolo-o

Youngling did come of age that day
As he beheld the bloody fray.
He chose his name to honour Gedd
T'was Roth, he chose – that thoroughbred,
Gedd and his siblings did respond,
And with tattoos they sealed the bond.

T'was young Roth who lived in the sewers-O.
Fol-de-rol-de rolo-o
T'was the Dragon who lived in the sewers-O.
Fol-de-rol-de rolo-o!
Poppy Pleasance
 NPC, 27 posts
Mon 18 Sep 2017
at 23:58
Tales and Songs of Valarez

"Tea, Tea, marvelous tea,
theres nothing quite like it
in good company.
So please take a biscuit,
the waistline can risk it,
So please take a biscuit
to have with your tea."

Folfast Balhon
 NPC, 15 posts
 Author, poet & playwright
 Guest at the Dragon's Den
Tue 19 Sep 2017
at 06:00
Tales and Songs of Valarez

I cast my eyes to stone walls high
And spied a fearsome sight
For high above a creature lurked
In shadows dark as night

I looked again and held my breath
As it looked back at me
For carved of the living stone
This evil fiend did be

Foul wings erupted from its side
And beat in steady pace
And slowly did the beast descend
And fast my blood did race

I feared then to face this foe
And spurred my poor horse on
And when I turned to look again
The evil thing had gone

But as I rode away from there
I chanced a last look round
And saw it settle down once more
Till easier prey be found