OOC: Keep in mind that Nylaria is stilled grappled by the stirge and therefore suffers -4 to her dex. This means her AC is -2, I.e. 21.

OOC: Too confusing to post? Let me know if you need more clarification on what the situation is. ALohan, Celene, Blind Logan and Kassius still to play in this round.

Logan strikes out at Nylaria with both his weapons, coming within inches of hitting her, but even grappled, she manages to evade the blows.

Despite his new blindness, Logan could tell the attack was unsuccessful, and scowled.

---

Standard: Attack Nylaria.  Miss
Move:
Free:
HP: 33/33 AC: 21/16/17 F2 R9 W4
Abilities: Invisibility, Resiliency
Current Buffs: Shield of Faith (+2 AC)
Current Debuffs: Blinded

---

08:12, Today: Logan rolled 16 using 1d20+7.  Short Sword.
08:12, Today: Logan rolled 15 using 1d20+8.  Rapier.
08:12, Today: Logan rolled 74 using 1d100.  1-20 Miss.

OOC: I must say that he is taking his new disability very calmly.

To be fair, Logan has no reason to believe that it's permanent and not a round/level type thing

Kassius glances back at the conflict in the other room, and curses under his breath. Their allies seemed to be losing, and their group needed to take out Nylaria fast. Hopefully her death would stop the obscene golems. Kassius grimly keeps firing, but Nylaria is still too fast for him to land a shot.

The unattached stirge continues to be unable to find a purchase, but the first one continues sucking more blood, beginning to cause visible weakness.


Stirges actually start draining con at the end of any turn in which they are grappled, so started last round. Nylaria has now lost 2 con, so loses HP equal to her HD


Kibeti continues to attack and draws blood, although the demon's speed and resistance makes it hard to land a truly solid blow.

---

Kassius
09:35, Today: Kassius rolled 20,14,11,7 using 1d20+6,1d20+6,2d6+4,2d6+4.  Rapid shot attack, damage.
09:36, Today: Kassius rolled 9 using 1d20+7.  stirge attach.
Full Round Action: Rapid Shot

---

HP: 21/33  AC 19(21), Saves+7/+10/+5
Spells Slots: 1st: 4/5; 2nd: 0/3;  Animal Focus Minutes Left: 3/5, Door Sight 6/6
Current Buffs: Gravity Bow, Barkskin, animal focus (Bull)

---

Kibeti09:38,
Today: Kibeti rolled 25,19,23,16,14,15 using 1d20+5,1d20+5,1d20+5,1d6+10,1d6+10,1d6+10.  Full attack (bite/claw/claw), damage.
09:38, Today: Kibeti rolled 14,11 using 1d20+5,1d6+10.  crit confirm.
09:39, Today: Kibeti rolled 10,14 using 1d20+5,1d6+10.  crit confirm reroll.
(I count 11 damage)
Free Action
Full Round Action:Full attack Nylaria

---

HP: 36/36AC 23, Saves+6/+8/+5
Current Animal Focus: bull(+2 str)
Current Buffs: Mage Armor, Barkskin, Smite Evil on Nylaria (+5 damage)

It was rare that his enemies would be able to slip out of his grip -it did not happen all too often. When the demon succubus lurched out, Alohan was caught staring at her naked glory. Unfortunately, he paused in his tracks and suffered the catastrophic loss of his eyesight. Panicking, Alohan sloshed about in the acidic pool unable to locate both friend or foe. It was troublesome and even in his crazed condition, began to recognize the coming doom. Still, if he could just get a hand on her, he would be able to pull her down with him.

---

15:49, Today: Alohan Nuari rolled 8,32,67 using 2d6,1d100,1d100 ((4,4,32,67)), Acid, 50% blind, 20% miss (becomes 50% miss chance cause I am blinded [should be a success])
15:50, Today: Alohan Nuari rolled 13 using 1d20+8 ((5)), Fort vs them Boobies.
15:57, Today: Alohan Nuari rolled 8,7 using 1d20+7,1d6+4 ((1,3)), Grapple Check Raging grapple damage.

---

Standard Action: Grapple Nylaria
Move Action: Keep close to Nylaria
Free/Swift Action:

---

HP:  28/55(RGE)  AC: 11(-2 RGE -6 blind)  CMD: 15(-6)  | 17(-6) vs grapple Saves: +8/+6/+1(+2 RAGE)
Rage: 8  |  10  Stunning Fist: 0  |  1  Note: Well this is going south

Logan misses, Kassius misses, Kibeti hits - and indeed most of his damage is deflected by Nylaria's magical skin (11 hp damage). Alohan misses...



OOC: Heh. Indeed not much damage being done. Only Celene left to play this round. Come on, time to do some 'insta-damage' with your wand.

Things looked grim at any moment that statue would lumber into the room and start killing her friends. Celene wanted to launch a bolt of fire at Nylaria but didn't want to get too close and her aim wasn't the greatest anyways. She pointed her wand and fire again. Hoping the others could mount a more successful attack.

---

Free :  | Swft :  | Move : 20’ away (M:11) | Stnd : Fire Wand | Full :

07:21, Today: Celene rolled 2 using 1d4+1.  Force Damage. Nice knowing you.

---

HP:  16/25 |  AC: 14/14/14  | CMD : 15 | Saves: +4/+2/+9

Special Notes:

  (De)Buffs :
 Conditions :
  L0 Spells :
   - Unlim. : Detect poison, Dancing Lights, Daze (DC15), Flame Burst,
              Mage Hand, Message,
              Guidance, Read Magic, [empty slot])
   - 1/day  : Detect Magic, Light , Prestidigitation
  L1 Spells :
   - 4/8    : Burning Disarm (DC 16), Burning Hands (DC 16), Cause Fear,
              Charm person (DC 17), Sleep (DC 17), Summon Monster I
   - 1/day  : Bless, Command (DC 14), [empty slot], (Cure Light Wounds)
  L2 Spells :
   1 1/5    : Glitterdust (DC 19)
  Abilities : Flame lance (6/7), Divine Vessel (5/5), Copycat (5/5),
              Channeling (7/7, DC14), Blessing Faithful (-),
              Wand of Magic Missile (41), Wand of Mage Armor (46),

OOC: <DM checks the rules> Agreed. 8 damage to her.

The tiny mote of energy hits Nylaria in her stomach - she barely feels it.

OOC: And the DM pauses to count up the damage she's taken.

-13 -10 -8 -2 -8 -11 -8 -2 = 64...

Oh...

Nylaria raises her hand, ignoring the stirge chewing on her head so she can call down another bolt of lightning onto Celene. The ghostly succubus continues to stalk the luckless sorceress, ready to strike the killing blow.

The diva looks down at her midriff at the spot where Celene hit with her tiny force bolt, observing how a flood of crimson ready is spreading beneath her skin. "Oh you have got to be kidding me..." she mutters. She coughs and her lips splatter with red blood.

"I will see you in the Abyss... <coughs up blood> you <wobbles unsteadily on her feet> fat <bubbles of foaming blood form on her mouth> cow <pitches face force into the pool of caustic almost landing on Alohan who jumps back in shock>"
This message was lightly edited by the player at 18:50, Mon 28 Nov 2016.

Celene watches the Nylaria pitch forward and some kind of grim satisfaction make her want to watch the women dissolve into nothingness. Instead she turns and runs for the corridor leading to the room with the statue and the Whirling Furies. She looks out hoping to see the cocksure golem standing motionless now that its master has died. Her mind does wonder if she'd need to try and take control of the temple, as Nylaria did from Eseriel, in order to call the golem off.

Celene arrives in time to see the huge purple golem advances on the three remaining Whirling Furies - having expended their most powerful magics they are defenceless against it.

"I look forward to meeting you both in the Court of Stars in Arborea," says Lady Silvermane. Her voice is sombre, almost a chant. "We will feast together and boast of this battle."

"I want to go home!" whimpers the Halfling druid Master Flin.

"Ahhh! I didn't spend fifty years planning and then successfully carrying out revenge against a cabal of evil weapons just to be squished by a golem's baby-maker the week after!" screams Vorsh. "Cover me you frak-heads!"

The holly avenger charges into the free, the startled druid and cleric struggling to respond to his instructions. The man once known to Sasserine as Sire Larcos Dengrin yells a battle cry and rolls under the creatures guard, swoops up and connects with a massive two handed swing with his mithral rapier on the base of the porphyry statue's penis. The blow connects exactly with a tiny structural weakness deep in the middle of the stone and with a loud *crack* the creature's manhood woobles... and then falls off.

The golem stares in disbelief its missing appendage, its soundless mouth mouthing the words "Oh fraaaac..."

"Heh. Yeah. That's got-ta sting, huh buddy?" chuckles Vorsh.

The golem shudders, the centre of all its power gone, then with a violent shake the creature rips apart from the inside and falls to the ground into pile of shattered purple fragments.

Congrats! You have triumphed over the final boss. I will post your performance review and treasure award tomorrow. Anything else you want to say or do?

Logan whirls around, frantically listening to the sounds of combat ebb.  "Wait...was that...did she just die?"  The rogue blinks a few times, and shakes his head again.  "Frak it, why can't I see then!"  He stabs his rapier in front of him, trying several times until it pierces the flesh of the fallen quasi-succubus.  "Ah!  That one glance wasn't worth giving up my eyesight for, you fracking witch!"

His anger spent, Logan listens as someone goes dashing off to the north, realizing he isn't hearing the bass-like booms that accompany the fall of the massive golem's member anymore.  "Will someone tell me what's fracking happening?  Did we win?  Are any of the Whirling Furies still alive?  I need them to tell me what happened to my dad!"

Cracks start to appear along the walls of the underground complex - it appears that the massive structural damage that was done by the meteor strike has weakened more than just the room where it hit. The party's time in this area is now limited by how long the roof stays up and also by the fact that they'd better gone by the time the authorities arrive.

Lady Silvermane and Vorsh walk back with Celene to the room with the caustic pools. Nylaria' body is slowly bubbling away as it drifts around the pool into which she fell. Alohan has gotten out of the pool and is wandering around with his hands outstretched, Logan has just realized that he is permanently blind and is mouthing off about it.

The cleric of Gwynharwyf heals all of the party members of their normal wounds, but says she doesn't have the proper spells to fix the barbarian and rogue right now. She does offer to pray for the appropriate spells tomorrow.

Vorsh pokes at Nylaria's body with his boot to make sure she is dead, then spits on her. "Good frakken riddence," he mutters.

OOC: The party's performance has been assessed and the appraisal result is:

Underperformance/Further Training Required

I have also sat down and calculated the treasure award. This hinges on the "Dick Joke Modifier" (DJM) which players scored points on during the game. These are the results:

PLAYER    BASE        DJM         RESULT       NOTES
Celene    1,000 gp    4           4,000 gp     Good quality and quantity
Kassius   1,000 gp    3           3,000 gp     Only one joke but pretty funny
Logan     1,000 gp    2           2,000 gp     Can't remember
Angati    1,000 gp    1           1,000 gp     Well at least he tried
Alohan    1,000 gp    0           0 gp         Antagonized the DM

As the party runs out of the dungeon they grab whatever freestanding items that look like they might be valuable. The totals above reflect the value of what they randomly grab.

OOC: Don't worry Alohan, he is just a dickhead, maybe he can retroactively squeeze that in. :-)

KA-BOOM! And he lands a killer combo!

But unfortunately the scoring period is closed and this has no effect on your DJM.

But seriously, I am just going to pool the treasure and then stick it into the loot thread - you can't spend it yet though as we need to resolve the other thread which is actually in the past.

Is there actually an assessment built into that module?, or was that just something you added in?

I think that was his creativity at the best... I would be really surprised to find a module that works on dick and twat jokes... although at this stage I can believe almost anything.

Not the joke modifier. Just the performance rating.

I know there are modules that use a points system and that you achieve higher results the more points you accrue. Shackled City had them.

Celene had mixed emotions. Everything she had worked for had just come crumbling down around her in a couple weeks’ time. Her mentor had been revealed as a villain then subsequently died by her own hand. Celene still feared that she and Alohan would be blamed for her death. She no longer belonged in the temple; her only recourse would be to live with Angati in the caves that once house the Lotus Dragons. What she needed something to occupy her mind; she made a decision on the spot to find Urol and attempt to learn about alchemy. If nothing else, it would distract her.

Celene approached Logan ”Three of them survived. Vorsh a woman and a Halfling.” she said as she drew the rogue’s arm around her shoulders to help him along. The rubble from the statue and the general state of the room after the meteor strike would make navigating it difficult without help. She looked to the others ”Let’s grab what we can and get clear of this place.” she said with scorn.

"Dis is a pain in de ass..." Alohan muttered as he groped for someone to aid him. "Angati, ya be helping me?" he asked hoping she was able to drag him back to the Lotus Lair in good order. Everything on him had hurt -the acid did a number to his legs and Nylaria's breasts still hovered in his mind's eye. The last thing he would see, a pair of demon tits. Still, they had done the city a service, even if it cost the lives of many whirling furies.

"Doin' de right ding is too much work. How are de dancers? De alright?" he asked as he was lead out of the temple.

---

For one, your triple double cross had me fooled WHICH I take part credit setting that up. So I get DM assist points. I am tired of getting the shaft.

Umm, well... I sort of made that bit up.

Actually, as I mentioned, the module had some very serious adult content in it that I didn't feel comfortable with so I ran the 'Benny Hill' version of it. Having a 'shlung measuring contest' at the end of at all seemed very appropriate.



The module was pretty far out there Beni. Actually, it was that Dungeon issue plus the 'Book of Vile Darkness' that made Tracy Hickman declare that 'they've killed D&D'. There were a lot of people pretty upset about it. But no twat jokes, no, it took itself much more seriously than that.



Oh, you were actually serious! Heh. Okay, no, there wasn't a grading system at all.



Seriously guys, the competition is over. We can go back to normal now!

Angati healed Alohan and Celene as much as she could before moving out of the building, and helping everyone out.

OOC: Oh, damn, I totally forgot about them!

Thanks to Celene's cunning use of a sleep spell and Karthack's gentle use of his sap, 11 out of the 12 dancers are groggy but unharmed. Only the one that Angati punched in the face with her spiritual gauntlet (in round one) is seriously hurt, but she will live. The party wakes them up and helps them to the surface.

The townsfolk of Sasserine are already gathering from the surrounding area, coming to see if they can help or maybe just to find out what happened. They are distraught to see the damage that has been done to their beautiful city - until they figure out that it is just the opera house that has been destroyed and then most of them are just... meh.

It is a simple enough matter to climb up the huge crater that the meteor hit created. Fingers are pointed and hushed whispers begin as the party and the remaining whirling furies arrive on the surface. Perhaps the stern visage of Vorsh is even recognized since he is technically still on Sasserine's most wanted list.

The party disappears into the night - Logan and Alohan still being led by the others - and they return to the Dragon Lotus lair to rest.

At dawn the next day they head over to the Church of the Whirling Fury and Lady Silvermane has prayed for the appropriate spells to return their sight to them. The 'church' is now a very forlorn place. Without any barbarians left it is quiet and lifeless - even the halfling druid 'Master Flin' left in the night meaning that Vorsh and the cleric are alone there. But the two lads get their sight back, so that is the main thing.

Celene learns that she is now a wanted woman - there is a 5,000 gp price on her head. Perhaps she would be able to clear up matters, but the instructions are 'kill on sight' due to the level of Celene's 'crimes', namely the murder of Magnus Eseriel, unauthorised spellcasting within the temple, summoning a meteor inside the city limits, and lying to the High Magus.

OOC: Yeah, 5,000 gp. Exactly the amount that you wrangled out of your DM when you robbed your old mentor. Karma is a bitch, huh? :D :P

Unable to go back to the temple, the young sorceress has a choice between shacking up with Angati and Logan in the old Dragon Lotus den or perhaps asking for refuge with the Whirling Furies - they certainly have enough space now.

The one piece of good news is that she does manage to track down Urol. The old gnome naturalist is more than happy to teach her the ins and outs of alchemy so she can begin to incorporate its powers into her spell casting. Celene is soon off to a flying, or rather, explosive start, and quickly learns the basics. It is actually less difficult than she imagined and the major problem she has is avoiding Urol's wandering hands...