"No!" Yehudit sniffed. "I'm going where you're going!"

"I'm just worried about you and thinking you could have used more rest," Sileas pointed out softly. "Try to relax."

"I AM RELAXED!" Yehudit shouted.

Sileas sighed and fell silent. She was tired too. And she was sick and tired of being the strong one. She was tired of everyone thinking they could talk to her any way they wanted and she would just continue to take it. The village was coming in to sight and Sileas found herself wondering if she could simply just disappear while searching. Unless of course she found her mother.

Yehudit closed her eyes and began to doze off.

Quiet tears streaked down Sileas's cheeks. Her one hand still free, she brushed at them but they refused to stop.

Quietly, Wulfsen offered Sileas a handkerchief.

"Thank you," Sileas said as she accepted the handkerchief. She dabbed at the tears but they kept flowing. Sileas had apparently reached her breaking point.

"It'll be all right." Wulfsen said, knowing he sounded lame, especially since they were going to find her mother's body. He patted Sileas's arm.

"Nothing is all right. It will never be all right again,"  Sileas whispered. "Everything has changed. Everything."

"You still have... your father, and your cousin when she's awake and... happier." Wulfsen offered. "And you always have me."

In reply to Wulfsen Thornblade (msg # 122):

"I know and I'm grateful for that. Olivia too. But it's still...different, and going to be different. Even if we find Mama, Papa has to deal with having lost three of his children. He waited so long for us. So many cousins lost. My..." she let her voice trail off. Then finally, "My future."

Wulfsen took Sileas's hand and gently squeezed it. "I wish this didn't happen."

"I wish it hadn't either," Sileas whispered. "So many children seem to be lost. Once they were in my class I loved them like they were my own. I would have done anything for them. I should have protected them instead of running like a coward." She was silent for a moment. "I should have protected Mama and my sisters instead of running like a coward."

"There were too many." Wulfsen said firmly. "If you had not run you would have been killed."

Sileas sighed. "I know but the knowledge doesn't make me feel any less like I failed them. It doesn't make me feel any less a coward."

"Those you have left need you." Wulfsen said. "If you hadn't survived the attack on the village, well I'd have..."
This message was last edited by the player at 05:47, Tue 18 Aug 2015.

"I know. I just can't help how I feel. If I'd have been more alert, I'd have had the chance to get my sisters and the children to safety. Larrigan and I built a safe place out in the forest for just such an event." Sileas eyed him curiously. "You'd have what?"

"I would have... Been very upset." It was an understatement, but Wulfsen couldn't tell her he would be heartbroken while she was still heartbroken over losing Larrigan.

"Thankfully we both escaped the fate of me not having survived," Sileas said. "I am glad you are here."

"Yes." Wulfsen impulsively kissed her hand. Realizing he had just overstepped his bounds he blushed. "My lady." Wulfsen stammered and looked about. "We're almost to the village. We did not find your mother at your home, though looking there seems the logical place to begin... Where do you want to look first?"

"We should start there and then spread out toward the inn. Though if she had been heading there, the babes would have been with her. She always took the girls with her," Sileas said. Then she frowned. "Unless Larrigan had been watching them. From time to time she left them with him because the girls adored him."

Wulfsen was worried about how Sileas would react to the fresh graves, but he agreed to start with the Spenser's home.

Truthfully, Sileas was beginning to feel nervous and frightened but what she might see or find. She fell silent as they headed for the forge, or what was left of it. Her eyes teared up just at the sight of the destruction, the homes and businesses that were destroyed. When Sileas thought she spotted the body of a child near an overturned market stall, she closed her eyes and pressed her head against Yehudit's back.

Yehudit woke to see what Sileas saw. She resumed weeping.