The room that the dressmaker Millie shares with Pinja.

Pinja was trying to keep her mind occupied by reading one of the books brought back from Portside. But her mind kept wandering to the upcoming wedding of Sileas and Wulfsen, which reminded her of her own wedding.

Pinja fidgeted anxiously, turning back a page because she could not remember what she had just read. Then she dropped her book, caught up in a flashback.

She had just spent a month in a hell Pinja could never have imagined before. She felt ruined, that there was no getting away. Jack alone was able to overpower her with ease no matter how much she struggled- back when she used to struggle until Jack would strangle or beat her to unconsciousness. The presence of Jack's friends made escape impossible.
So even after Jack led her outside and put her on a horse Pinja did not try to escape. It had to be a trick, a test. Like the time she thought he had left and found the door unlocked, she waited hours without any sign of him before she decided to try to leave- he caught her as soon as she set a foot outside and beat her. After he punished her, Jack gave her flowers. Then did what he always did after he gave her flowers.
So Pinja did not try to grab the reins, she obediently sat on the horse and let Jack lead, riding with him and his friends through the woods. She noticed differences between this ride and her kidnapping. The most obvious was how it was daylight, it had been night when they kidnapped her. They were in no hurry. She also noticed that they were all dressed differently. During the kidnapping they were dressed in black head to foot, today they were dressed up, formal clothing under winter cloaks
The scenery became familiar and Pinja realized she was almost home- they were riding towards her home. Was Jack going to let her go home? The night he kidnapped her Pinja had promised to say nothing if he let her go, she was still willing to keep quiet if he let her go, despite all he had done to her. She just wanted to be away from him.
Pinja's parents were in a yard in front of the house. Surely Jack and his friends would not recapture her in front of her parents! Pinja leapt from the horse and fell into her mother's arms, crying. Instead of holding her, Pinja' mother drew back as if in disgust, Pinja looked at her mother's face and saw disappointment.
"You need not cry, Pinja." Pinja's father said. "I have giving my blessing."
"What?" Pinja was confused.
"You're marrying Jack today." Her father said coldly.
"I- I can't!" Pinja started but her mother took her by the arm.
"This way, to your room, Pinja."
Mama wouldn't let this happen, Mama would help her get out of this. Pinja followed her mother to her room. Neither Jack nor his friends tried to stop her.
Pinja was shocked at how much her room had changed, most of her personal possessions had been packed in crates. But there was still a mirror and the fanciest dress Pinja had ever seen hanging off the wardrobe door.
"Yes, it's beautiful, but we don't have time to admire it on a hanger. Put it on, if it needs any adjustments they'll need to be seen to right away."
Pinja hugged herself, most of the marks and bruises had faded away since it had been two weeks since Pinja had stopped bothering to fight Jack, but what marks remained, including a bite mark on her shoulder, were concealed by her clothing. Pinja burned with shame.
"What's the hold up?"
"Mama, I can't." Pinja said, tears running down her face. "He hurt me."
Her mother scoffed. "The midwife told me she told you to submit, any bruises are your own fault. Don't pretend to be so innocent. He wouldn't have taken you if you had not given him reason to."
"I never gave him reason to Mama!"
"At the last ball, you danced with him." Her mother said.
"I danced with a lot of-"
"You shouldn't have been so promiscuous. Fortunately Jack has taken a shine to you and wants to marry you."
"I can't marry Jack!" Pinja felt so betrayed, even her own mother! "He beat me, he strangled me, he..." Pinja could not say it. "He forced himself on me!"
"You were with him for a month." Pinja's mother said. "You are probably pregnant. If you do not marry him you are ruined, no man will want you. We are not going to raise a bastard or house a slut. If you do not marry him we will turn you out, the only place for you will be a whore house."
Pinja felt numb like she often felt when Jack gave her flowers. She could not go to a whore house, have done to her what is done there. She put on the dress. The only comment her mother made about the marks Jack left on her was that she was lucky the wedding dress would cover them."

Pinja came back to herself curled up on the floor next to the dropped book. She was shaking all over.

Pinja could not stop shaking, and the flashbacks of her marriage to Jack would not stop. She clutched her books until her knuckles turned white. She did not want to be alone, and at the same time did not want to be around a lot of people.

The healer's room. There were not many people there these days. Maybe there would only be the healers... Or one healer. Pinja imagined Difyr would be going to the dinner, Aalyssa would probably still be there. Pinja could imagine what Aalyssa had gone through before Wulfsen and his men rescued her, Aalyssa did not seem to want to be around a lot of people herself, which Pinja related to. The healing room would be a safe place.

If only Pinja could get there. The healing room felt miles away.

She slowly stood up, clutching her book. She was still shaking. She went to the door and listened. She did not hear anyone, but what is someone was in the hallway, quietly waiting for her to come up. She looked in the keyhole and did not see anyone, but that did not mean anything. Someone could just not be standing in front of the keyhole. She screwed up her courage and opened the door a crack. She peered out the crack, no one was on that side of the hall, but on the other side of the door. Pinja trembled, a tear leaked down her cheek. She was so scared! Why did she tell Millie that she would be okay alone? Traveling to the healing from scared her almost as much as being alone for hours with her flashbacks for company. Pinja felt like she would throw up, she forced herself to throw the door open.

The hallway was empty except for herself. Pinja breathed slowly. She closed the door. She leaned against the door, tempted to go back inside.

She screwed up her courage and headed towards the healing room.

Pinja nervously looked at her door, then to Aalyssa.

"Can you... Can you please wait until I check that no one else is here?" Pinja knew she was paranoid, but she had heard about men breaking into women's rooms when they were not home and attacking them when they returned. She did not want to be left alone even if there was no one hiding in her room, but did not want to impose any further on Aalyssa.

"Of course, Pinja," Aalyssa agreed. It wasn't like she had anything pressing to get back to."

Pinja trembled visibly as she opened the door. No one was inside the room. Pinja was glad that the room she shared with Millie was sparsely furnished, there was no where for an attacker to hide.

Pinja let out a slow breath and waited to stop shaking. She wished that party was not going on tonight so Millie would be there.

"Everything look all right?" Aalyssa inquired.

"Yes." Pinja said in a small, nervous voice.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it." Aalyssa noted the nervousness ad looked around. "Do you want me to stay until Millie returns?"

"If it's not a bother." Pinja's eyes brimmed with tears of relief. "I'm still afraid to be alone." She admitted.

"It's not a bother at all. I wouldn't have offered if it were."

"Thank you." Pinja said and offered Aalyssa the chair.

Aalyssa sat down and made herself comfortable.

Pinja sat on her cot and made herself as comfortable as she could. It was not easy in her condition. She tugged on the wool cap covering her scalp.

"Do you still call through the door so she knows it's you?" Difyr asked Millie.

"I do." Millie tapped lightly on the door. "Pinja? It's Millie and Difyr."

Pinja looked to the door.

"Hi." She said.

"Hi," Millie said as she stepped inside.