"I wish I knew, my patients are sleeping on the floor." Difyr said. "Your father is well." Difyt spotted a crate of wine and helped herself to three bottles. "These are for medicinal use." Difyr explained when she got strange looks.

"Where the kettle?" Yehudit mumbled in her sleep.

"I can't explore while watching Olivia, or I would go search. Do you mind if I sleep in the room with Papa?" Sileas figured she could use his shoulder for a pillow. And she didn't really like having him out of her sight right now. "The kettle's on the stove, Yehudit."

"Sure, but it will be crowded. More patients have come in." Difyr said. "Well I had best be off, a healer's work is never done. Take care."

Difyr headed back up the stairs.

"Too hot there." Yehudit complained sleepily.

Sileas elbowed her. "Wake up. Olivia and I are going to go upstairs and sleep next to Papa. It should be cooler upstairs too."

Grumbling about being woken up just when she finally started to sleep properly, Yehudit used Sileas's shoulder to pull herself to her feet. Yehudit had left her walking stick upstairs somewhere so she was obliged to lean on her cousin.

Sileas hoped she could hold up Yehudit while holding Olivia and somehow manage not to throw the three of them down the stairs. She didn't wish to do anything to cause her father any more pain. Halfway up the stairs she paused, squeezing her eyes against the tears that wanted to stream out. No one would ever understand, she was always looked to to be the strong one, which meant she needed to be alone when she wanted to fall apart. Sileas gathered herself and made her way up the rest of the stairs.

Yehudit tried to not limp, but her ankle really hurt. She clenched her fist.

"Slow and steady," Sileas said softly. "Where's your walking stick?"

"I think I left it in the big hall." Yehudit said. She recalled Questa calling her Sileas's millstone. Yehudit felt like a millstone around her cousin's neck.

"You should always remember to take it with you," she chided gently, but Sileas' voice was filled with love for her cousin.

"I know. I'm stupid." Yehudit said glumly. "I'm a burden to you."

In reply to Yehudit Buckley (msg # 93):

"I told Questa and I'm telling you, you are not a burden. You are not stupid either. We are all very upset right now and it's easy to forget things when one's mind is going in a million directions."

"But I can hardly walk without it so you practically have to carry me, while you're already holding Olivia." Yehudit wiped her eyes.

"That doesn't mean you are a burden to me. It might be a little awkward but nothing I can't handle. You're my best friend and cousin. My sister. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"I'm a millstone around your neck." Yehudit said stubbornly.

"You are not and stop saying it. Don't take anything Questa says to heart. She has mired herself in negativity and a refusal to grow or change."

"But you're carrying me and not her." Yehudit said.

"So? You need me, she doesn't."

"She's more useful than I am." Yehudit said.

"Ha! No she's not. All she does is argue and put everything down." They finally reached the top of the stairs and Sileas stepped into the hall, pulling Yehudit along with her. "The only thing Questa wants to do is push me back into a life of crime and being on the streets."

Yehudit thought about what Sileas had lost and hoped she was not tempted to run off and go back to that life. "She knows how to survive."

"I know but I wanted...I want more than that. I never wanted to be a street kid when I was little. I did it to survive. And I'm glad I had to because that helped me learn to fight and to get away from Jeremy. I always wanted a family and to be loved. And I have that now. Had. Thankfully I still have Papa and Olivia." She didn't mention her now completely broken dream of a husband and family. No other man was going to take on a barren woman.

"You have the rest of the family too." Yehudit pointed out. "My family, Aunt Ais, and the twins."