[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)   Posted by Aeternitas.Group: 0
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 273 posts
 Unbreakable
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 02:07
[Side] Counseling time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Good," 聲gel says as he takes his seat. "I hate breaking furniture. And stairs. And ladders.

"So, how do these sessions normally go?"

Calvin Logger
 NPC, 21 posts
 Counselor
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 02:15
[Side] Counseling time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Well, normally, when a student wants to talk to me, they have something on their mind. And then we usually end up talking about everything else that's bothering them, as well," Calvin says with a friendly smile.
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 277 posts
 Unbreakable
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 02:38
[Side] Counseling time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Fine, I'm angry. I'm always angry. Sometimes I can feel my control slipping and I usually take a run or something, but that doesn't work anymore. I nearly downed myself last time, that worked," he says bluntly, "The jolt of fear balanced out the anger for a bit."

He pauses but obviously has more to say. "Then the gym. Why did Dennis put me up against Jeremiah? I thought everyone knew we didn't get along. He threw me harder than anything I've felt since the change. My heart jumped into gear and anger sent me at him. I wanted him down, he threatened me. I tackled him.

"Then he threw Tammy aside like she was nothing to him. At that moment, I wanted him dead. I hit him as hard as I can and it didn't faze him. In that instant I knew, he would beat me. Here I am so proud of being Unbreakable, and he was going to break me."


He looks past Dr. Logger into nothing. "Blake's roar called up my fear. It locked me up, I couldn't act. So I did something new, I embraced my anger. I used it like a club to control my fear. And in that moment, I was calm. All that mattered to me was that Tammy was hurt and needed me. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't angry. I wanted to help her."

He focuses on Calvin. "Am I normal? Even now, I can feel the anger. It simmers and churns in my gut. Am I insane? Am I a danger to everyone around me? Am I a monster?" His voice breaks as he asks the questions. Anger and desperation come out clearly in his tone.
Calvin Logger
 NPC, 22 posts
 Counselor
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 03:09
[Side] Counseling time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
Calvin takes his time to process everything 聲gel is saying, and when he does speak, it's in a gentle voice.

"Do you feel it is accurate to say that you're in love with Tamera?"
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 281 posts
 Unbreakable
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 18:30
[Side] Counseling time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
聲gel looks confused and derailed. "Do I? What does that? No? Maybe? How am I supposed to answer that?" he asks but continues without giving Calvin a chance to speak. "I like her. I like her more than anyone else around here. I don't know her that well yet. I find her incredibly attractive. I'm happy when she's around. I can usually ignore my anger around her."

He stops talking and focuses again on Calvin. "I don't know. We haven't really known each other that long. I might love her. But Calvin, I'm seventeen. I've only ever loved two people before; my mother who died when I was nine and my abuelo. He kept me at home for two years before sending me here.

"My feelings for Tammy are different than my feelings for either my mother or abuelo. I enjoy being around her and my world is darker when she isn't around. She supports me and she's kind to me. In turn I get to support her and wouldn't give that up for the world. She makes me want to be a better person, someone who deserves the time she spends with me.

"So, you tell me, do I love her?"

Calvin Logger
 NPC, 23 posts
 Counselor
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 18:38
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
Calvin chuckles softly, "Don't get mad now, I'm not laughing at you. But if you can say all that, doesn't it run counter to you being a monster? You have remarkable emotional maturity for your age, Angel, so I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that just maybe your problem has a more physical foundation. We'll know more once the Professor finishes testing your blood sample from the physical. At the very least, we can cross off a bunch of things on the list of possible explanations. In the mean time, let's talk about managing the situation actively instead of reacting to it. Have you ever tried meditation before?"

This message was last updated by the player at 18:39, Thu 06 Oct 2016.

Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 287 posts
 Unbreakable
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 20:05
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Meditation? Not really my kind of thing. I used to find the speed bag relaxing, but that's got problems now," he says. "You want me to try sitting cross legged and chanting 'Omm' now?

He pauses and considers something before asking, "Wait, physical foundation? You mean my change might be responsible for my anger? But I was angry even before my change. When I first moved in with my abuelo, I was angry and he suffered through it. It's one of the reasons he got me into boxing and soccer."
Calvin Logger
 NPC, 24 posts
 Counselor
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 22:47
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"But those things no longer work for you, right? And I get the impression from you that you didn't used to be quite as angry as you are now," Calvin suggests, "Of course, if I'm off base, say so, but think back to before your change, then after your change, then after you came here. Try to recall if there were any differences."
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 289 posts
 Unbreakable
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 23:30
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"After my mom was killed, I was angry. At the world. At the gangs. At the police. At my abuelo. But mostly at myself. I should have saved her. All I did was stand frozen in fear as she fell. I still remember the screams around me as I stood like a statue.

"But you're right. Over the years, I got better. My anger faded and was even gone some days. I still hated the gangs. And sometimes when I thought about my mom, my anger would rise up again. But it was better."


He thinks for a bit. "A couple of weeks before I got hit by my change, my anger came back. Maybe I was already changing and just didn't know it. After my change, my anger was back and stronger than ever. I stopped going out and hid from the world. No school, no friends, no boxing, no soccer, not even running.

"What my abuelo didn't know was I had started going out and messing with the gangs. That's how I learned knives don't hurt me. Then I hit a gang member and seriously hurt him. I stopped going out after that and a couple of days later I was on my way here.

"And here? My anger isn't going away. But I'm normally able to control it. The fight with Jeremiah is the only time I completely lost it. Even when I was sparring with Blake, it wasn't a problem."

Calvin Logger
 NPC, 25 posts
 Counselor
Thu 6 Oct 2016
at 23:38
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
Calvin nods, "I'm very interested in seeing the blood test results now. I'm not a medical doctor or anything, but there are some things I know about. Testosterone is a helluva substance, for example. I can't even count the number of kids I've spoken to that started being angry a lot of the time when they hit puberty, though of course, you've got it the hardest out of all of them."

He pauses for a moment and adjusts the way he is sitting then continues, "That said, in no way does it diminish the righteousness of the anger you feel about your mother's murder. Would you tell me more about how you processed your grief?"

This message had punctuation tweaked by the player at 01:37, Fri 07 Oct 2016.

Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 295 posts
 Unbreakable
Fri 7 Oct 2016
at 22:23
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
聲gel is silent for a minute or so while staring into the distance. He seems lost in thought or memory. When he begins talking, his voice is soft at first but grows stronger. His eyes remain focused on something far beyond the walls of Calvin's office.

"I remember crying and yelling a lot. I threw something at my abuelo once, I don't remember what it was. That's when he started making me run and teaching me boxing. I went to church twice a week and eventually joined the choir. Church was something my mom and I shared. Going was a way for me to connect with her still.

"It took time for the pain and anger to fade. I did talk to a priest, that seemed to help a bit. Is that what you mean by process my grief?"

Calvin Logger
 NPC, 26 posts
 Counselor
Fri 7 Oct 2016
at 22:26
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
Calvin nods.

"Do you still go to church? I have information on the ones around here if you need it.
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 296 posts
 Unbreakable
Fri 7 Oct 2016
at 22:36
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Tammy and I went with Larry Slate last Sunday," he says. "He offered to take us with him every Sunday. Father Marcus was nice enough; a bit skittish dealing with a couple of mutants at first but he got over it quickly."

He focuses on Calvin for a moment. "How are you handling your experiences with mutants? I know what happened in the gym had to freak you out a bit. Between my fight with Jeremiah, Tammy's recovery, and Blake's visceral fear inducing roar, I wouldn't blame you if you were uneasy around us."
Calvin Logger
 NPC, 27 posts
 Counselor
Fri 7 Oct 2016
at 22:46
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
Calvin chuckles wryly, "It was a bit disturbing. But one of the things I learned really quickly after becoming a counselor, is that everyone needs a confidante. My therapist was a bit distressed to hear about it, but she'll manage. What I ultimately took away from it is a firmer resolve to help the students here as much as I can."

He takes a deep breath and thinks about what he says next very carefully as he says it, "You were pretty dismissive of the idea of meditation, which is fine, but I suggest you reconsider how you feel about after looking into it a bit more. In the short term, though, perhaps you should explore other outlets, since physical exercise doesn't work any more. Have you tried something artistic, perhaps?"
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 297 posts
 Unbreakable
Fri 7 Oct 2016
at 23:05
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Well, I want to join the church choir once I've built up a relationship there. Other than that, do you have a car that needs body work done? I used to help my abuelo in his garage. I handled rough body work and basic maintenance - oil changes, tune-ups, brake pads, tires, and the like."

He sighs, "I suppose I could try sculpture. I could work in bronze or brass easily enough. Steel would require tools and maybe a forge. I still wish they had let me help repair the gym. A good chunk of the damage was caused by me.

"Seriously Calvin, do I look like someone who meditates?"
he asks with a chuckle. "But if you seriously think it would help me control my anger, I'd be willing to try."
Calvin Logger
 NPC, 28 posts
 Counselor
Fri 7 Oct 2016
at 23:13
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Honestly, you look a lot like Dennis. Short fuzz on your head and biceps bigger than my head. And I know for a fact that Dennis meditates. I don't mean to generalize or stereotype, but Tamera also looks like the sort of hippy who would know a thing or two about it, as well," Calvin says, starting to talk with hands a bit.

"And you'd be surprised how therapuetic painting can be, as well, even though I am quite frankly horrible at it. Writing is another good outlet, and if you're concerned about breaking your pen or keyboard, we can get you some voice dictation software."
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 298 posts
 Unbreakable
Fri 7 Oct 2016
at 23:32
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"I could talk to Tammy about it. And I do want to talk to Dennis about something else, I could ask him about meditation as well. Do you know if he teaches judo? I'm pretty good at boxing, I was highly ranked as a Silver Gloves competitor, sadly I never got to compete in the Golden Gloves.

"But judo would give me a way to fight without hurting someone as much. I punch someone and they break."
He shudders at a memory. "I never want to hear that sound again."

He focuses on the present again. "As for painting? Have you seen Tammy's artwork? I'd look like a five year old in comparison. And I know that's stupid pride talking, but, you know. I could try the voice dictation software. At least it would let me use my computer for some things right?"
Calvin Logger
 NPC, 29 posts
 Counselor
Fri 7 Oct 2016
at 23:45
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"I don't know much about it, but Dennis practices... Oh, what did he call it? 'Cope area,' something that sounds like that. If he also knows judo, it wouldn't surprise me. I can't say that I blame him for not getting between you and Jeremiah, but if I was a gambling man, I'd bet on him over you in a serious one on one fight, even with your mutation. I saw that man, sweet and goofy as he is, get serious for about one second when he had to save Doctor Henningsen from a small riot. Three men fell over in the blink of an eye."

He shrugs and changes the subject, "I was looking at Tamera's art on the internet just yesterday. I know quite a few professionals that look like amatuers in comparison, so that's not even close to a fair contest. I'll find my disc for a dictation program I bought and don't really use and give it to you."
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 302 posts
 Unbreakable
Sat 8 Oct 2016
at 01:09
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Speaking of Tammy," he says changing the subject once more. "We've got a lunch date for tomorrow. Unfortunately I don't know the local restaurants. Is there a good authentic Mexican place in town? I tried looking on-line last night but everything I found was too commercial American. I would shame myself and my entire family if I took Tammy to a place like that and called it food.

"Oh, by the way, I can use a keyboard without breaking it. But for some reason, my fingers don't work on touch screens since my change. I can control my strength, now anyway. That took some time to master. And I suck at typing which is why I'd like to use the software if I'm going to try writing."

Calvin Logger
 NPC, 30 posts
 Counselor
Sat 8 Oct 2016
at 01:17
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Hrmmm... You'll probably have to go to Durango for that. It's about an hour from here at a reasonable driving speed, so it's not too far, but it's farther than Dennis normally drives. I'll email later tonight, if you'd like? There was a place my wife loved, but I haven't gone there in years."
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 303 posts
 Unbreakable
Sat 8 Oct 2016
at 01:20
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"I'd appreciate that," 聲gel says. "Would Dennis be willing to drive that far? If not, is it possible for me to use the car? I have a driver's license."
Calvin Logger
 NPC, 31 posts
 Counselor
Sat 8 Oct 2016
at 01:25
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"You'll have to ask him about that. He might make an exception for you two, since he feels bad about the whole fiasco in the gym," Calvin says, then he checks the time on his cell phone.

"We're running out of time today. Would you like to arrange another talk in say, one week? Two weeks?"
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 304 posts
 Unbreakable
Sat 8 Oct 2016
at 01:28
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"Why don't we say two weeks unless something comes up," he answers. "I'm not really comfortable talking to you about this stuff. But I guess it's good for me."
Calvin Logger
 NPC, 32 posts
 Counselor
Sat 8 Oct 2016
at 01:38
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
Calvin chuckles, "It gets easier. And I won't be offended if you stop talking to me, just so long as you're talking to someone. Take care, Angel."
Angel Quinones Castellano
 Student, 307 posts
 Unbreakable
Sat 8 Oct 2016
at 02:49
[Side] Counseling Time for 聲gel (Friday 9-4-15 Morning)
"See you around counselor," 聲gel says as he steps out of the office.

And I suspect that wraps up this side thread.