Re: Out of Character Discussion
Okay, so this was not an easy post for me to write, but here goes my best attempt...
Over the past few months, maybe even the last year or so if I am being honest, I have found it increasingly difficult to maintain the enthusiasm or creativity required to run play-by-post games. I have thought long and hard about this issue for some time, trying to figure out how to bring back the same excitement, joy, and wonder, that used to come naturally to me from this play format, but nothing has seemed to work.
I think a combination of issues are at play, but perhaps the main issue is I have been running play-by-post games for the past 10 years and I am probably just burned-out. In fact, in total, I have run 12 different games over those 10 years, 8 of which I brought to, what I feel was a satisfying conclusion, and 4 of which I am currently running.
Another issue is that I first came to PbP after I moved to New Mexico and did not know any local players to continue playing face-to-face games with. PbP was a convenient way to play RPGs, without the hassle of trying to find like-minded players and then work through the various scheduling issues that come up with face-to-face games when dealing with adult gamers with other responsibilities. When I moved to Hawaii, 3 years later, I met other gamers and started playing face-to-face games again. Then, when I moved to South Carolina, I linked up with a growing local community of tabletop gamers and now have more gaming options than I have ever had in my entire life.
Now back to PbP. These past 10 years have been incredibly rewarding. I have played with an immensely talented group of individuals over that time, yourself included, and have grown as a writer, gamemaster, and person as a result. A few of you have played with me from my very first PbP game--The Beast Inside. Several of you played with me in multiple long-running games spanning back almost a decade. It's crazy to think about in hindsight, and it's definitely been a lot of fun.
But, it hasn't been as fun for me over the past year or so and some of you may have even noticed as much from the quality of my posts. From my standpoint, my posts have been formulaic, rote, and without the passion that I used to be able to devote to this craft. And to me, this is a craft. I have always tried to hold myself to very high standards when it comes to running games (really anything I do) and lately, I haven't been meeting that mark in my PbP games.
Again, I think this primarily boils down to burn-out on my part. I have toyed with new game forms as a way to generate sparks of creativity. For example, my DDAL game was an effort to to leverage smaller, episodic published adventures to see if that would help. Gaxmoor was exactly the opposite--urban sandbox dungeoncrawl. Unfortunately, neither of these efforts remedied the underlying problem. If anything, it made it even worse.
Now, this isn't to say those games haven't been fun. I have enjoyed running all my games, but not so much for the games themselves, but for the interactions I have had with you, the players. That has honestly been what has kept me coming back to my PbPs and trying to muster what is necessary to keep them going--my relationship with all of you.
This relationship is why I am communicating with you now about this issue. I respect you, value your friendship, and am continually impressed by the creativity you bring to the game. I think it's the right thing to do. Hell, I even state as much in my posting guidelines in all my games--Communication is Key.
All this to say, after long consideration (and I have been thinking about this for months trying to figure out how to articulate my feelings on the subject), I think I need to scale back/take a break from PbP.
Since I have four games, I have tried to figure out ways to bring each to somewhat of a satisfying conclusion...but unfortunately, for some of the games, there really is no good way to do it. What follows are my plans for each of our games:
Heroes of the Haunted Highlands: Since the party just defeated the Mummy Lord beneath the Ruins of Adrik and gained a considerable treasure hoard in the process, I think this is a pretty natural stopping point. We can assume the adventurers will go off on further adventures, etc. but those will either remain in our imaginations, or be accounted for by a different Storyteller. The Heroes of the Haunted Highlands have had an impressive adventuring career and I am happy to have been along for the ride.
Realms of High Adventure: This group is currently in the midst of the Battle for Brindol. This will be the penultimate battle of the campaign. The future of the vale will rest on the party's performance in these upcoming battles. I am committed to running the Battle for Brindol to completion and suspect it will take, at most, a couple more months to get to a conclusion. The campaign will either end as the adventurers victorious or the vale conquered. We'll find out which it will be...
The Lost City of Gaxmoor: Unfortunately, there is no good way to end this game, as it is an open sandbox and it is still pretty early in its development. I apologize to all the players in this game, but I think I need to pull the plug on this one. Outside of a TPK, I can't envision any natural ending for this game that doesn't involve a huge time commitment. This makes me feel terrible, as I have never abandoned a game and have always prided myself on my ability to run games to a conclusion. But it just can't be avoided. Sorry, guys :(
Uninvited Guests: We are actually really close to completing this adventure and will wrap-up this game very soon. The good news about this game is since we used Adventurers League format, you will all be able to use these same characters in other Adventurers League games...either online (via Discord, Roll20, PbP, etc.) or face-to-face.
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I want to re-iterate that I did not come to this decision easily. I have spent a lot of time thinking about it and trying to figure out how to communicate these thoughts in a coherent way. Hopefully, I succeeded and you understand where I am coming from. I have thoroughly enjoyed my interactions with each of you, both IC and especially OOC, and don't want there to be any hard feelings.
Thanks again for your friendship and all the fun times over the past months (for some of you) and years (for most of you). It has been a hell of a ride and will look back fondly on the many great memories and stories you helped create. You guys are awesome!
Shane