TNC - Notes of Noah
January, ??, 1891 the Next day the Second dream
The day went on with all the expected normality of such a strange and bizarre world such that exist only with in the Circus. I still have not been able to fully explain to anyone about the dream I had, I still have not been able to understand it. As I turned in after another successful day of work my mind fell back to thinking about what the dream could have meant, I was lost though, it lacked reason, but it did not feel empty.
I turned the lights out of the dimly lit train car Audrie quickly fell asleep, the pace of the Circus at times proving to be a physical strain and our bodies call for rest. I stay up for a time in the dark staring at the ceiling, I was tired but my mind wondered in its own thought, I see things no one else sees, I do not understand why I see the way I do, it seams all I touch is consumed by something or another. I reflect for a moment how I read a book a remember the words and never again delve in to its pages again, the book is empty to me, it can never change, I guess in a way I am like the book I never change, people always look at me like I am the empty person, maybe I am.
My mind runs its circles and eventually my eyes close, I think I eventually fell asleep. I began to shift though my eyes open and the first rays of the sun enter the train car, my eyes are blurry they take so long to get use to the sun, I hide most of my body under the sheet of my bed, I lay still until my morning hiding is broken by a whisper, I do not understand the words but the voice is familiar, it is Seth yet again, but with in my private quarters, my eyes scan the room, perhaps Audrie let him in but she is still fast asleep, the door was never opens yet there he was.
He made his way to me, as he did I could feel radiating heat from him, I became tense as my blood began to boil with every approach. He came to be beside me somehow Audrie remains asleep as I feel the heat coming from him, burning against my skin, I must have cooled him some as he pressed more to me I could feel the dancing fires again the heat all around us yet no flames to behold. I again looked to Audrie who I see only toss slightly but otherwise remain undisturbed.
The heat grew to the temperature of an inferno, my skin burning with but a glance from him, I could not see him but I could feel his eyes affixed upon me, we burned together, eventually passing his only words to me.
“Noah do you want this every night”
He said that but the sensation of the flame was to great for me to conjure any kind of response to his words, I just succumbed to the fire he brought to me. The moment vanished suddenly as again my eyes shot open, everything was a blur, I was near blind.
Audrie awoke me, apparently I slept in, something I never do, she grew concerned when I began to toss and turn in my sleep and making much more noise then normal. I could not bring myself to explain my dream, I did not even know how to, she seemed frightened I am not sure why. I could hardly believe I was in bed for as long as I was, it was near noon when I awoke, it took about an hour for my eyes to adapt, that is when I began writing a letter to him.
“I want to show you I am not a freak, or strange, I can be normal like you. I am not empty”
It was plain and simple enough, I do not even know what compelled me to write it, perhaps I still could not escape his words from our first encounter. I think those are the source of these dreams.
I left my letter with one of the attendants to the Fire Arts tent, I sealed the letter and addressed it to Seth. I could hardly work up the understanding to give such a letter directly to him, this was the next best choice. I am anxious, I am confused, Audrie likely suspects something is wrong with me, what if they are all right, what is something is wrong.