(LANCE AND JADE'S (public-visible) THREAD)

Jade will ask the guard that are with them, if they could ride with them back to the castle since the carriage had already gone back.

"A short wait, milady..."

The guard gives orders. Two horsemen ride off. They return very quickly with a taxi-carriage to take passengers to the castle...

  Lance holds the door for Jade, unless the guard or coachman beats him to it.  Once she is in, he takes the seat opposite.  Once the clip clop of hooves has seen them safely off he sighs.

  "I don't know, cousin, it's been a bad day for me.  I just....well, I've got a lot of issues and now I've gone and ruined everyone's good time.  I'm so sorry."

"Lance, you surprise me. This earth must have been very hard on you."
She regards him for a short while.

"When I was little I used to apologize for everything, many things were not even my fault. In this we seem similar and while I still do it from time to time I try not too. People will assume I have no confidence or a weak will. This was drilled into me by Queen Moire. I think in her own way she was looking out for me knowing my lineage more then I."

She glanced out the window as the Bar faded from view.

"Tonight was not your fault, and what happened in Princess Deirdre's room was not your fault. The first was that loud mouths choice to pin his fears and anger on me. Chances are his crew polluted the ocean if my people even had anything to do with it. My green hair, I try to hide most of the time because it makes me different. I stand out and sometimes it's not the best, as you saw. The second was caused by some kind of magical reaction. The Ax and my magic mixing to go bad for all of us.  Look though, we all said crazy things after that occurred even though you said them, Ballad still joined us tonight and read with you. You have not burned any bridges but beware you don't build walls."

"Now I don't know what this worthy is, but trust me worthy is often something people strive for, most aren't born worthy but we don't need that kind of validation. When you walk the pattern, something I will not let you do till you have confidence back. You will face the greatest test you ever have, and passing that is something that will make you worthy of nearly everything.  When I spoke with your mother I asked her advice, I wanted to be the perfect princess and she to her credit did not try to mold me into a mirror image. She told me to be the perfect Princess to just be myself and not cause any diplomatic incidents. I am sure she would give you the same advice except your a Prince."

She gave a smile, "Don't try to be worthy of someone, be yourself and let that shine through. Besides do you know how many maidens of noble or royal status throughout the golden circle would just swoon for you ? So chin up ! Who did this Thor have to be worthy of ?"
This message was last edited by the player at 20:44, Thu 10 Dec 2020.

  Lance listens.  His cousin has wisdom, and he listens attentively.  when she finishes he waits a moment before replying.

  "Earth was not so very difficult.  I mean, growing up in an orphanage, only imagining why I was left there with the nuns, I.."  he sees her puzzlement, "A holy order of old women ceremonially married to a God that I'm pretty sure didn't exist, but they believed in it, so good for them.  Anyway, I watched as other children were adopted and I was left behind, and that was very difficult.  I was different, and people seemed to sense it.  The nuns told me to hide my differences, never show off, always be the lesser so as not to have the devil in me.  I eventually grew up and went out on my own, tried to put it behind me."

  He rubs his temples.  "I went about my life, always feeling that difference.  Always thinking I wasn't wanted, even by my parents.  I never connected with anyone, just sort of floated around like a piece of flotsam and jetsom.  Then I was attacked, and my whole world got turned upside down and my mother brought me here.  I met someone, and for the first time ever, I truly fell in love.  I thought there was something mutual, and I made a fool of myself.  Oh Jade, your spell didn't make me say anything that wasn't already there."

  Lance covers his face in his hands.

  "If I was worthy she'd feel the same, and I can see that she does not.  I don't want just anyone, Jade, I want someone who doesn't want me back and it hurts so much.  I can't even blame her, because she has other better options."

Jade let Lance say his piece.

"I can't speak for these nuns but they might have had the same fears as me with my green hair. That is, that you might stand out. Perhaps they were afraid since you were most likely stronger, faster or better in some way then those around you. So if others would be afraid as well they probably suggested holding back so you would be adopted."

She then thought how best to handle his other words.

"Ah the crux, Lance not everyone will respond in kind to you, or me, or really anybody. We are full of our own problems, emotional baggage, and Ballad is not devoid of that. You think that someone who hides behind a sunshine smile and the brash and flashy royal title doesn't have problems ? She might like you, she might not. Her parent might have arranged a marriage, or she might have been burned by someone and doesn't want anyone to get close. You will be near immortal, there is no need to rush things for her, or for you. Also don't discount you have three other cousins who want the best for you too. You might have fallen for Ballad but you have Ariadne as a friend and your both from the same world ! Think what a one in a huge number chance that had to be. I like you and can be a friend and Jon just want's everyone to survive, thrive and stay alive. He likes you too."

"Also, you now have your mother back in your life. Don't think that is a little thing lest you build a wall between you and her. If you need to feel worthy, come up with a goal. Do not have it be about Ballad but something else. The only one you have to be worthy of Lance is yourself. If you can't find the good in you, then let the rest of us do so till you see it yourself shining though."

“You may be waiting a long time then, because I’m just a huge mess right now.  All my life I mostly kept to myself, never fit in.  Then I’m here, and I finally meet someone that I fall  for, a cousin no less, and I turn it into a disaster by actually putting myself out there even though I know I shouldn’t have.  I don’t have anything to offer anyone, especially when there’s guys like Jon around.  He always says the right thing and he knows so much more than me and how could I ever compare?   He’s stronger, smarter, cooler, more charming.  It’s no wonder she likes him,”

  He lets out a laugh dripping with sorrow.

    “I’m surrounded by beautiful, wonderful, talented extraordinary relatives and I’m just plain old me.”

"Does she ? I didn't know that." Her brows drew closer.

"Even if she does, it is no reason for you to beat yourself up. There are plenty of grey men that would be willing to do that for you. You need to have a talk and I know just the person to give you that talk but be warned ! They will probably only let you babble self defeating attitude once most likely."

  Lance shrugs.  “She must.  I mean, she was insistent to spend time out riding with him, and the way he flirts with her right in front of everyone and then gives me those damned cheer up old chap pep talks because everyone can see that he’s better.  Ugh!!”

  He shakes his head.  “It’s wrong of me to be jealous of him, and it makes me base for thinking so.  He’s been nothing but nice to me.  You all have.  Nice, and tolerant, and caring and supportive and I’ve been miserable, and drunk and a spectacle.  I feel like I truly don’t belong, that I’m just getting in everyone’s way.”

"So just don't be miserable and cheer up. I thought Jon liked me but perhaps your right. Of course you could be wrong too. You just met us all and granted right now your not at your best, but I am not going to let that effect me for the rest of near eternity. Though I might just try and knock you out, if you keep feeling sorry for yourself." She smiled to soften it.

"You I think, must be your worse enemy. You want to do good and be worthy ? Then help us face the Grey Men. Not just to impress Ballad, or even Ariadne or me. Do it because by doing so you will be keeping us safe. This here, this feeling of rejection, that is just a tiny bump trust me, in this family there is a lot worse that could happen. Try not to pressure Ballad by feeling bad for yourself. It is or at least could be seen as manipulative. Right now she is your friend and you convinced her to be in your play. Don't ruin it Lance, for your own sake." She lifts his chin.

"Also realize you might have people pining for you in the castle right now. Your a prince and son of the most lovely Princess Florimel. You are handsome and this !"

She pokes his muscles, "That isn't fat, or weak, you put time and effort to have your physique right ? Just realize all things take time. Your first love may reject you, indeed your hundredth might. If you ever let it stop you, you will not be there for the one who would jump at the chance at a loving relationship with you."

"I don't know how else I might help you, but for a story I read. A tale of the man who is now King of Amber. You know he probably went through a lot of what you did. He was the shortest of his brothers and youngest. He probably had an inferiority complex. Yet who is King now ? Not Eric or Corwin, not even Benedict or Gerard. It took a long time but he had his day in the sun.  Take heed of that little lesson. We are all people, maybe we all are pretty people and powerful people but before any of that we are people. That includes me, you, Ariadne, Ballad and yes even Jon."
This message was last edited by the player at 03:09, Fri 11 Dec 2020.

  Lance sits up and looks at Jade for a long moment.  “I don’t think you are wrong in thinking that Jon likes you very much as well.  You’re very beautiful, and talented and the word exotic comes to mind in a good way, and any man would be blind to not see it.  When we all first met I thought you were a couple.”

  “Jade, you’re probably right.  I know I’m not thinking clearly and I need to just let it go, but it hurts so damn much.  I didn’t sleep last night because I had nightmares about the grey men, and also about Jon and Ballad riding off together to ride more than horses and laughing at me.  That’s why breakfast started out so badly for me.  Then there was the thing in Ari’s room.  Then I talked to Ballad, and then three pitchers later here we are.”
This message was last edited by the player at 14:57, Fri 11 Dec 2020.

Jade nodded, "I had nightmares about those Gray men also. I fought my way free of them but not without taking some wounds. So I can sympathize. I would love to say I stood unwounded over the bodies of my attackers but..." She smiled.

She tilted her head, "Im fairly certain no one has laughed about you, that is the demons of self doubt and you being hard on yourself. As for Jon and myself, we have the same colors and we planned to coordinate, so I can understand people thinking we are a couple. I do love the pageantry of court." her smile becomes a bit dreamy for a moment.

"Don't worry about the past Lance, we can't change that, at least I don't think so. We can though plot the course of our future. You have allies in your cousins. Your living in better times. As I understand it in the past, family would be all to quick to tear you down."

  Lance sighs. "Getting past my own self-doubts is a big hurdle, as is trying to deal with my feelings for Ballad.  It'll take time, but we've got lots of that, right?  Thousands and thousands of years.  That's so much to wrap my head around."

  "Back home we had a movie...sort of like a play, called Highlander.  It was about a bunch of immortal beings on Earth who could only die by having their heads chopped off.  Anyway, now faced with practical immortality it makes me think about the sadness of the subplot of the play, which is how the characters lived on while their mortal loves aged, grew sick, and died while they didn't change at all.  How could we ever we ever dare love someone other than another immortal, knowing that that heartbreak awaits us every time?  And should we fall for one of our own kind who does not feel it in return, eternity seems a long time to deal with that pain too.  It's enough to make one want to close that emotion off entirely."

"Near immortality is something we all have to deal with. In a hundred years just think you will say, ughh Jade is so annoying trying to cheer me up again." She smirked.

Jade tsssked, "Never shut yourself off from love, yes it can hurt but it can keep you supported through hard times. Ignoring it is ignoring part of yourself. An eternity suppressing yourself would be sad indeed."

  Lance smiles.  "I'm sure you're right.  I just need to get my head out of my ass long enough to see it."

  He looks out the window to see the castle looming near.

  "Looks like we're just about home.  Thank you, Jade, for being so understanding and letting me babble on and for babysitting your drunk-ass cousin.  You're wonderful, and I do believe I now officially owe you a favor.  If you want, we can get you one of those copies of the play from my room on the way in."

"We all need friends sometimes Lance. I was happy to help."

Nodding, "Yes, I would like to see the play, especially since I would be trying out for a part. I will try to do my very best though Ariadne and yourself are the experts. So I may need your tips and advice."

Jade will join Lance in getting a copy of the play from his room.

  Lance gives Jade a copy of the Complete Works of William Shakespeare, bookmarking the place where Midsummer begins.

  "I think you'd be marvelous as one of the star-crossed lovers.  There are two of those female lead roles, but the choice is yours.  There are a number of other parts if you prefer.  Titania the Fae Queen, but it's a bit part, various Fae, but I do think that either Helena or Hermia would be best."

Jade nods, "I will read up on each, thank you Lance. Try and have a good night." Jade will start to head back to her room but make a side trip to find Odile.

Half reading the book while walking at the place marked.

Knock knock knock knock

On Lance's door



This message was last edited by the player at 16:12, Sat 12 Dec 2020.

The door swings open at the knock, having been unlocked and not even properly latched.  A moment later Lance emerges from the bedroom into the sitting room, knuckling his eyes and saying, “One moment, I’m coming.”  He is dressed in red sweatpants and a yellow t-shirt.

Halfway to the door he sees who it is.

  “Oh, hello Jade!  What time is it?”

She will stride in unless stopped.

She has the letter in her hand.

"We need to talk. It's about an hour after we arrived."

  Lance pauses, seeing the letter.  He looks confused.

  “Of course, please come in.” He gestures to the couch.  “Do you want to sit down?  Did everyone else come back already?  They must have, if Ballad showed you the letter. “

"Your lucky for mistakes, Lance. No this letter was left in my room whoever you had deliver it must have confused Ballad and myself."

Jade looked around as if she might sit but doesn't.

"The others are not back yet, but this !" She pushed the letter to his chest.

"You need to think about and rewrite. I thought it was for me. I didn't read the whole thing but I saw the beginning and read the bottom to see who it was from. I pretty much thought it was you." Her eyes narrow.

"You are SO lucky, you get the chance to rewrite this if you even write another one." long glare.

"Lance, I told you not to act sorry for yourself, the way you did tonight. I told you that it comes across as manipulative. You saying you will exile yourself ! That is the height of manipulation. Only you saying you would kill yourself would be worse."

Jade paces a bit, "Think about how much weight you put on Ballad ? It's not fair to put that weight on her shoulders. No one wants you to exile yourself, but if I am mad reading just a little bit of this letter, can you imagine how Ballad would feel ?"

Jade sighs, "I know your smitten, I can see your hurting and this... I don't want to get in the middle of this because it is between you and Ballad. Do yourself a favor though think before you rewrite this. Think how you would feel if someone said they would exile themselves if you didn't see things the same way."

  Lance takes the letter and plops down onto the couch.  He rubs his face with his hands, then balls up the letter and throws it into the embers of the fire.  A long sigh.

  "I wrote it after my outburst this morning, and delivered it before I spoke with Ballad earlier.  One of the maids must have directed me to the wrong door...I thought it was hers.  There was nothing in the letter that I haven't already said to her.  She must be furious with me as well, and was merely hiding it.  I suppose I've really messed things up with her.  If she had even the slightest interest before, I've probably destroyed it then."

  "I promised her that I wouldn't speak to her again of my feelings towards her.  I won't write another.  I just don't know what the right thing to do is."