Lance stands; so does Ballad. This is a bit of a dance: He’s determined to leave, cheeks burning; Ballad is determined to block him, and as he likes Shakespeare and they've recently been speaking of A Midsummer Night's Dream, though she be but little she is fierce.

"No. You have already troubled me, it's too late in the evening, and you do not get to walk away from me." Too late in the evening is clearly some poetic slang of Ballad's. She will put both hands on his chest to stop him. "I want an answer to my questions. They are not rhetorical. And answer this one, too: Do you care what I want from you, or do you only care that you aren't getting what you want from me?"

  Lance stops.  "As you wish.  I would have died because of my own weakness, and it was you that saved me.  I can't imagine that you want to hear it, for I cannot imagine that you feel the same about me.  I don't think that you NEED anything from me, because you are wonderful and amazing, and you LIVE more in the moment than anyone I have ever met.  I do not think that you are cruel to me, we are just not in the same place in our lives.  It is MY issue that I have a difficulty accepting that, my weakness, and the Pattern highlighted that to me so very clearly.  I tell you what I feel because you are <b><b>important </b></b>to me, quite possibly more important than I am to myself.  Perhaps that is wrong of me, and something that makes me seem abhorrent, but I want you to know that which is in my heart.  Right now, I hate myself for upsetting you."

  He pauses a moment.

  "I do care what you want from me, but I am afraid that I will always fail you because my heart wants that which it cannot have, and I don't want to fail you."

Ballad’s patience gently, stealthily lets itself out of the library, the virtue having remembered an urgent appointment it has elsewhere—perhaps the same place the book Laurence is looking for happens to be. Without patience around, her temper is lost.

“I don't want you to fail either, Lance. But why won't you even attempt to scrounge up some inner strength and cease wallowing? Which is what I want you to do, along with never, ever going on your knees while your mother looks on to tell me how I would’ve caused your death but also I saved you."

Her eyes flash. "If you mope off into Shadow forever, or try to get yourself killed through reckless acts of foolishness, it won’t just be that you’ve ‘failed me’—it will be that you never tried. I don’t like it. Listen to me: I don’t like it. Just stop it. I posit you don't give a golden fig about me, really, Lance, just like you apparently don't give a silver fig for anybody else. It’s hard to have one’s heart broken, I know. I don’t want to lecture you; I want to be glad for you, that you’ve walked the Pattern, that you’re going to go on adventures! I want to look forward to hearing about those adventures! I want you to tell them to me, but without this side dish of ‘you consume me.’"

"Yet here we are. Listen. I’ll give you a quest of the sort they give out in my homeland. Are you ready? Here—go out into the world and return with self-assurance, but if you can't find that, see those drums? Find one like the largest, but make it the color of the night sky before daybreak—fill it with your tears. Once it’s full, water a tree with those tears. When the tree flowers, pluck a flower and bring it to me so I can wear it in my hair.”

A pause. Ballad's eyes flicker. "In the meantime, I cede you to the library. Laurence, please send the books I was reading to my room." Very dramatically, she gracefully twitches her skirt and prepares to sail out of the library. She pauses to curtsy to Flora. "Aunt, I am so sorry," she says, very earnestly.

The best thing about wearing a gown if you can't have a cloak is that it's just the thng for a dramatic exit. Exit Ballad.
This message was last edited by the player at 02:33, Fri 08 Jan 2021.

  Lance stands unmoving as if carved from stone.  Ballads words strike him like shards of ice, and the chill of them runs through his body.  He feels the tendrils of permafrost attempting to wrap themselves around his heart, and then in a flash of skirts she is gone.  He is left standing, staring numbly at the place where she had been standing.

  "And that's that.  I’ve never been fishing, you know." he says with a shake of his head.  He walks over and picks up one of the books, flipping through it.  He had intended to learn all he could about his destination before going there, but he was no longer interested in becoming a Sonovashi scholar, now all he wanted was a picture for reference and a quick exit from Amber.  He didn't want to face Ballad, was too mortified to ask Flora for advice, he just wanted to go and get his task for Random done.  He didn't know what he would do after that, but he had a feeling it was going to be one helluva flower.
This message was last edited by the player at 07:21, Fri 08 Jan 2021.

Lance finds a painting of a landscape in Sonavashi featuring two large windmills in front of a small mountain. He should at least be able to find the mountain using the techniques Flora explained to him.

  He shows the picture to Flora and asks, “is that a good likeness?  Will that give me a suitable frame of reference to get there?”  If she says it is, he begins staring at it, trying to burn the image into his memory.

  He would be leaving as soon as he could manage.  No doubt Flora was disappointed in him, and Ballad was furious.  He certainly didn’t want to hear any lectures from Jade, nor any backhanded pep talks from Jon, nor any disgusted looks from Ariadne.  Lance was pretty sure that any of the three of hem had more luck with women than Lance did.  Among the cousins he was the odd man out and he knew it, felt it.  Lord, did he feel it!  Like being that little kid in the orphanage watching the other kids around him being adopted out and he was left behind until he was old enough to get emancipated minor status, get a job, and move out.  His first apartment hadn’t been an apartment, it had been a beater 72 Ford Station wagon that he got for nine hundred bucks.  Privacy had been courtesy of pizza boxes taped to the windows.  It had been home for six months, and he showered at the school gym locker room.

  Lance had worked two jobs around going to school.  One at the ren-fair, one as a construction laborer.  The first he did for the sword fighting, the second actually paid decently.  The pop-up trailer he had bought six months later.  Huge upgrade.  By senior year he had some savings, and he was stating to make real money from the fair gigs, and the construction became part time.  He had earned his way.  He had done the chivalrous prom thing for the girl in high school, and then soon after gone on the road, his skills with a blade in demand.  He had made his way alone before.  He could do it again.

  At least Ballad hadn’t inquired further about Sonovashi.  Maybe she was angry enough at him to have forgotten the name of it.  Even if she hadn’t, he was sure she was pissed off enough that she would never follow him there.  She didn’t need him, and he was damned sure she didn’t want him.  She had Jon, and everyone else she ever met.  He had been a fool to think he was anything special to her, just a passing curiosity, a brief diversion, no more.
This message was last edited by the player at 18:29, Fri 08 Jan 2021.

"Yes, I'd say so. The city of the same name is just beyond that rise on the right, actually," says Flora.

"Milord may take the book with him, if he wishes," says Laurence...

  Lance shakes his head at Laurence’s offer.  “I’d rather not take it from the castle.  It’s more to carry, and I don’t want to risk anything happening to it.”

  He closes the book and hands it back to the librarian.  “Sorry about the ruckus.”

  Turning again to Flora he asks, “So, any other cautions, words of advice, or anything else before I go?   I’m not sure which route I’ll take, maybe I’ll even take the shortcut in the basement.”

"Lance. Do NOT walk the Pattern just to travel in Shadow for a non-emergency reason. You haven't even rested. Go to the stables-- when you're ready-- and get a horse." She pauses. "...Or am I presuming wrongly that you have experience riding?"

  "No, I can ride fairly well.  I've even jousted...although the lances were scored so as to break.  They didn't always, but still, I've got the general gist of that, at least." 

  Lance shrugs. "Can't dance worth a damn, and my singing is atrocious but that doesn't matter anyway.  I'll get some rest out in the forest, do a little camping, back to nature and all that.  I'll be off before lunch and I'll call you with your card each night if you want."

  He starts for the door and pauses. "I'm sorry if I've caused you any embarrassment.  I'll try to not do so in the future."

Flora's general expression suggests that she's more embarrassed for Lance than by him. "...I'm not ashamed of you, Lance," she says quietly.

  Lance gives Flora a hug with a whispered, “Thanks mom, you may be the only one.  I gotta go.”

  He releases the hug and makes a beeline for his room.

Flora sighs after Lance leaves the room. "...Well, that was dramatic." She glances around. "Anyone still here need me for anything...?"

Random leads Jade and Jon into the library. "Hm, Laurence isn't here. He must be at lunch break or something. Can't stay in here all the time..."

He turns to Jon and Jade. "So. Weirmonken..."

"Yes, we plan on making a trip there and if you need the pact checked we can do that for you."

*nods* "Rian told me that Redringer is somehow connected to a mystery/quest in Weirmonken, that my father never completed.  My intent is to complete that quest and see what I can do to help Weirmonken.  My hope is to convince them to be a friend and stronger ally to Amber."

(Psst-- it's Redring, the Knellsinger. But Random doesn't know that name.)

"I'm sorry, what? What's Redring?"

When Jon and Jade blink at him, Random looks a little sheepish. "I'm sorry, but I think you need to catch me up a little more. Imagine if you had 14 brothers and sisters, and each of you ran your own business. Then imagine, some time after one of your brothers died, a nephew and a niece came to you and said 'Hey uncle, if it's all right with you, I'm going to go and take Dad's Texor project his company was working on over to Earth and show it to Rami, as long as you don't mind.' Your first response would be 'The what now?' because you didn't really pay any attention to any details of what your brother was up to back in the day. It's like that."

"Oh Redring the Knellsinger is the Late King Eric's large blade. It's history is tied up with Weirmonkin. It might be how he handled the cursed people there. I do know it is very magical."

"Oh, that big sword on the wall in Eric's chambers? I remember seeing that once or twice... And... now that you mention it, I do recall it was supposed to be enchanted or something... But I didn't know it had a name... And I... don't... remember if I heard it was connected to Weirmonken or not, but of course Eric was always going there back in the day... Ah, Flora and I are the comparative babies of the family, so you have to understand that a lot of things were simply before our time... But I'll take your word for it what the sword's name is, and that there's a connection between it and Weirmonken..."

Random frowns. "Weirmonken is a member of the Golden Circle these days, so I normally don't go a year without hearing from them... But now that I think about it, it does feel like it's been a while since I heard from... Ye-es, perhaps someone'd better go check on... Especially considering that, um... Yes... How soon do you want to go? I want to talk to Julian about who should go with you..."

"Well, Prince Jon was thinking of walking the Pattern first. Which is probably best before we head there. I can be ready as soon as he is."

"Well, yes. So you're saying... you weren't planning to head to Weirmonken in the next 24 hours. Good."

*smiles* "Well, unless there was an emergency of some type.  Then I would head out a fast as possible.  Probably depending on someone to lead me through the Shadows or worse case a speed run of the pattern.  Neither is something I would look forward to, but I won't abandon my friends and family just because I can't get there on my own just now." he says with a determined and earnest air to words.

OOC: Yeah, but Redringer the Knellsinger rhymes! which is why I messed up the name :) LOL

Jade looked to Jon, "I was able to convince Lance to stay for your and Ariadne's Pattern Walk. It should be something we all get to celebrate together." She ended it with a bright smile.

"If there's an emergency of any type, make sure I know about it immediately. And if there's no emergency that comes up... promise me that you won't just pop over to Weirmonken or anywhere else weird when you get to the center of the Pattern..."

*Nods* "Yes, your Majesty." *smiles* "I have no place weird in mind, currently, to travel to.  So I can commit that my intention is indeed not to go anyplace weird."

Shifting in his seat. "So, Jade, why don't you explain what you've found and I will fill in with anything from Rian."