Re: Thesk Region: OOC II
Sweet Jeesus! [spelling intentionally incorrect :P]
Last night I sat at my computer for the third time that day, just as I had twice on thursday and three times the previous sunday, and the wednesday before that and so on for the past three weeks. My computer problems were pretty much a thing of the past after four or five weeks, but since then I've found myself literally paralyzed with apprehension bordering fear at returning to any of my games on RPOL.
This feeling is amplified when I see how many of the games in which I am involved have purple numbers awaiting my return. Obviously this means private messages are pending, and for those in which I am a player it no doubt means that my absence, despite being announced prior to its occurrence, has probably outlasted its allowance. Twice this year I've been in games that I felt were outstanding and worth every ounce of my effort, only to have the GM of one unceremoniously pull the plug and the other ditch me and move the other players to another thread group. On top of this my brother, now facing fatherhood with his second child, has dropped out of two games with me, which is kind of the end of an era between us, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me.
Worse than that, though, are the games where I am the GM. My mind imagines that I'll return to most to find that several people have abandoned them, probably almost immediately after my [anticipated temporary] departure in june. I fully understand the transient nature of RPOL, but do you know that I've got one game that I've been running for five years, I've had 58 people come and go; over 50 of those people quit in the first month, and the majority of those did so before they even made a single post as a player? Do you know how many times I've had someone quit my game because they didn't have time and were paring back their game-loads, only to have them send and RTJ to me in another game I run? Embarassing for them, frustrating for me.
I liken my situation to the standard joke running around the GM circuit wherein an energetic GM spends countless hours crafting a realm or adventure only to have the party solve the riddle or defeat the bad guy on the first night of gaming by doing something totally unexpected that the GM did not forsee. For me, it is less that the party is completing or sidestepping the adventure - they are losing players so quickly that I have to remold the plot or recast the villains or tweak the CR of the encounters, only to have to change them again a couple months later. It is both infuriating and depressing.
Today, though, I find words of kindness and support from the adventurers in this group, which encourages me to run through all of the games tonight and post OOC to all. For obvious reasons, I would prefer to 'fast forward' through the combat we most recently began and simply give a narrative account of the results. It will take some time to write it, so please give me two days to post it.
You've renewed my faith, to some extent, in the presence of decent people behind the players of RPOL. Thank you. :)