Seraphina Martel
That's a very.....vivid.....image. =p
I've only had heartburn a few times, but I know what to do. Tums, wait a little bit, Alka-Seltzer. I content myself with a breakfast of mild cereal, kept around for these occasions.
Some day, when I am empress, it will be a crime to mandate that I wake up before 10:30. Other people might like mornings, but I don't. I engage in my usual practice of exiting linear time to sleep another four hours.
It's only slightly creepy now that I know it's really some kind of border of the afterlife. Or an afterlife. Or something before reincarnation. That's a lot of big questions. I turn on the lights just in case.
Anyway, having had my daily requisite 14 hours of sleep, I kip up, nice and chipper, and head down to the sidewalk to meet my parents.
"I'm not sure what you mean by 'issues,' exactly, Mrs. Oltham. There were the various problems I've had to deal with, of course, like the twins or the life-force-draining plants. There have also been things I don't understand or have complaints about."