Has the Minnesota Monkey Returned?
by Harris Fordham

It seems that the Twin Cities has never gained much attention from the Cape, Cowl, and (thankfully) Hood set.  We are officially part of the territory defended by Green Bay’s GuardStar, we seldom see much of them.  Historically, both Minneapolis and Minnesota have had a low active-meta rate.

Known as the ‘Midwest Effect’, most metas who are born and raised in the mid-west tend to abandon any ideas of pursuing the life of a hero, or ‘Cape’ or meta-criminal a/k/a ‘Hood’.  Most meta-experts chalk this up to the general law abiding attitude most residents of our fair state seem to have.  Some say that’s just a lot of hooey.

But that doesn’t mean Minneapolis hasn’t seen it’s share of meta-violence over the years.  Between 1987 and 1996, a Cowl who called himself ‘The Monkey’ fought a street war with a gang of tech-backed Hoods known as CLAW.

Sounds like bad TV I know.  But it did happen.

No one really knows what occurred.  The Monkey (who was dubbed the ‘Minnesota Monkey’ to differentiate him from The Monkey operating at the time out of Miami) kept his vigilante MO.  What good Cowl wouldn’t, right?  But he was extremely successful at keeping his head down in a number of ways:  there are only four known and confirmed photos or videos of him.  Most accounts of him were eyewitness accounts.  Even less is known about CLAW.  Some have speculated that CLAW didn’t really exist.  And that The Monkey’s opponents were either unrelated or used the CLAW story as a cover.

But after a rather dramatic battle in 1996 on the Stone Arch Bridge with two female Hoods, the Monkey dropped out of sight.  Though the witness accounts confirm Monkey survived the battle and made an escape, he was never heard from again.

Or was he?

Recently, there have been reports during evening hours around the University of a meta with a long tail leaping from the tops of buildings to the tops of buildings.  Most are calling this a publicity stunt of some kind.  To date, no confirmed incidents of meta-violence have occurred.  Police have issued a statement that they are investigating the sightings but there is no reason to believe there is any activity, Cowl or Hood related.

Property owners in the area have expressed concern, as it is well known that appearances of Hoods, Capes, or Cowls cause a rise in insurance rates for the area affected.  We will continue to follow this story and notify our readers of any developments at once.
This message was last edited by the GM at 04:09, Tue 26 Nov 2019.

These responses came in the following days of Jack's original post.

To everyone who's made jokes, it's not funny.  My sister and BIL joined them.  It's like they're gone.  We don't hear from her and she won't see us.  Jim, my BIL, told us they are fine and we shouldn't worry. But he looks all glassy eyed and talks like he's on too much Prozac.  They stopped going to church too.  They were both big members of their church but it's like they've stopped believing.  We really want to know what's going on.  But the police say they can't do anything. So frustrating.

A direct response to the last What did you expect the cops to do?  If your sister is a grown adult I'm guessing she is since she's married then she has the right to do and live as she pleases.  You just upset she's a different type of jesus freak then you are.  Stupid bitch.

That comment brings up a lot of comments about religion in general.  The OP for this subthread retorts

No idea why so many of you went off on this tangent.  My sister can believe what she wants.  But there's no reason to cut off her family.  My BIL has done that too.  His Mom told me he won't talk to her.  Only my sister will and she says the same things to them that he has to us.  It's like we're not allowed to talk to our own now.

Comment in reply That's because you're not.  It's not atypical cult behavior.  Separation of members from their families.  Also, they set up someone else as the bad guy.  They want you to blame your brother in law for not being able to talk to your sister.  And it sounds like they want his family to blame your sister the same way.  Look up resources for how to deal with having a family member in a cult.

Two words:  Clyde Lewsdale.  Everything he's involved with is trouble.

Reports of a virus causing fever and odd behavior are coming in from various area hospitals.

Dr. Edward Hastings of the University Teaching Hospital said that there has been an increase of patients with high fevers coming into the hospital's emergency room.  "We are evaluating all the cases," he told Market News in a phone interview.  "But at this time, other than the high fever, we are not seeing a common factor in the cases thus far reviewed."

When asked if it was true all cases had come in after commission of violent acts, Dr. Hastings said he could not comment as he did not have all the facts.

Rumors have circulated that persons suffering from these fevers usually attempt violent or criminal actions.  One report making the rounds is of a 62 year old grandmother trying to drive her car through the front window of a jewelry store.  Police reports do confirm the incident but state the driver has a history indicative of dementia.

The CDC has issued a statement that they are aware of the incidents and are monitoring the situation closely.

An abandonded house already under police investigation as the possible scene of a former high output methlab in the Southeast 8th Avenue area was the scene of another unexplainable event yesterday.

Neighbors reported that around 4:15 PM, a loud shout, which could be heard for several blocks, rolled out from somewhere inside the house.  The shout, which sounded like a man's screaming in anger, was heard as far away as the Beltrami and St Anthony neighborhoods.  Several witnesses who heard the shout claim the voice said "I will find you".  The shout was heard further out, but the wording was not as distinct.

The Police Department's Metacrime unit has declined comment stating that the incident was part of an ongoing investigation

A source close to the investigation has confirmed that a third incident may have occured involving the 'Minneapolis Monkey' trespassing on the premises.  Details are sketchy as to this third incident which occured that evening.

We will follow this story as more develops.
This message was last edited by the GM at 21:21, Fri 14 Aug 2020.