Rig stared at that message for a long time as he hid in the engine room.
quote:
Sorry if I made you uncomfortable
It was hard to imagine how much those words gutted him. A very large part of him wanted to run back there and explain himself, to throw himself at Sister Maribel's feet and beg forgiveness but the other part of him would just repeat the same words over and over again: what next.
If he won Maribel back, what next? If they enjoyed themselves for the rest of the trip, what next? If she decided to stay onboard, what next?
For a second he entertained the idea of bringing her onboard fulltime but all he had to do was glance at their cobbled together low berth rig to realize that it wasn't something to enter in lightly. He knew in his heart of hearts that he wasn't going to leave the
Tia. He already had the wreckage of one marriage in his past from attempting a "normal" life. His place was in the stars, in the engine rooms, between the hulls, in the conduits. He would continue until he physically couldn't and only
then would he consider retirement. Or a spacewalk without an oxygen tank.
He continued to work on the ship. He had no idea what to do about Maribel but there was
always critical work that needed his full attention and would make him forget about all those complications. The real world fell away as he worked on the ship like a man possessed. Eventually he would have to stop to rest and that was when his thoughts would drift to Maribel and he would toss and turn in his makeshift cot in the engineering bay.
Even still no matter what it was impossible to completely avoid thinking about her, especially whenever he had to pass through the garden...