Alyeda draws a deep breath and spends several seconds holding it in silence, eyes closed.  It comes out quickly when it does and lets her shoulders round even further.  She doesn't open her eyes to respond, at first.  "As someone who cares for your well-being, and who spent three years helping the new girls adapt, I was trying to be encouraging.  I apologize; it was too familiar of me.  I need to remember we aren't friends."  One more shake of her head, and she finally raises it again.  A flicker of terrible weariness enters her eyes when she looks at Alvatter.

  An instant later, the polite emptiness of the underling washes everything else away and there are only questions to answer.  "When I saw this garden with Iesha's eyes, it was an emerald in a sea of gold, a private oasis created and maintained by sorcery, but in the midst of a desert, not endless chaos.  I lived here once, entertaining the Pasha and his guests."  She pauses for breath, and to collect her thoughts, and to glance up at Rahim before she moves on.  "Rahim was the unfairly handsome head of harem security.  It was hardly the simple duty the Comedies poke so much fun at, but it did include what you'd expect: keeping any threats to our chastity at bay.  We tried to avoid each other for a time.  It didn't work."

  She tells the story as though deposing herself before a court, every detail offered as though it were just an item on a mental checklist, and her demeanor carefully Certain.  "I was executed for adultery.  Burned alive, on a pallet of used hay to make the point clearer.  Rahim broke free of the men holding him and leapt into the fire with me.  The last words I remember from that life were his promise to protect me.  I cannot say what happened in the meantime—why La arrived in a clearing full of dying sacrifices, how long Iesha was a bound spirit. But..."  And there, she finally loses her grip on the calm act.  Actual vulnerability slips out, and she doesn't rush to cover it up.

  "Please do not ask me to choose between my people and my heart."

Etu went utterly still.

"The Restless toil still?"

There was a pause, an intake of breath, the singular moment of calm before the storm broke. Then with a sigh she released the tension, her muscles uncoiling and her grip on her staff unclenching.

"No, have we not just born witness to the terrible price of haste and desperation?  I will not walk the same path trod within that Garden by Rahim, uncaring for the purity of his will and the selflessness of his intent.  What choices you make are your own, Alyeda who was La, and I will have no say in them.  A stone at rest can be shaped and molded, but as the sun sets it can only be made smaller. That which has been carved cannot be replaced. Much has changed in only two days, and while my need for justice is pressing, I will not act in reckless haste.  Too much damage already has been done."

She turned to encompass them all within her gaze.

"Speak to me of what shape the world holds. I hear you utter intent of molding and shaping, and yet the old laws seems to hold place. The Restless are still chained, despite my passing between worlds? They must be freed, they must be liberated. Share with me that which I need to know, so that in my duty I do not cause yet more suffering and death."
This message was last edited by the player at 03:00, Mon 04 Jan 2021.

With Alyeda's eyes off of her, Alvatter addressing Rashim, and much of the direct conversation shifting away from her, the blonde slinked back into the treeline slightly, slipping herself out of sight behind the trees. As Alyeda spoke again, she froze for a moment.

"I apologize; it was too familiar of me. I need to remember we aren't friends."

It felt like an icy stab to her heart. Unseen behind the tree, Rashana's hand came up to stifle over her lower jaw, covering her mouth as painful feelings surged under the burden... Like Alyeda expected her to be perfectly okay with what had happened, that nothing was wrong. Expecting that they would already be friends without any context or... ?

Rashana's breath was tense, and she felt a trembling in her frame as her eyes blinked tears, but her hand kept her muffled and silent, out of view. Etu spoke, elaborating on her own situation, and try as she might, Rashana found it so hard to pull her focus from the internal to what she had to say, at the least, to process it in the moment. It was overwhelming and stressful, and the maker felt her pulse pounding as the moment grew heavier.

Her barely contained tears started flowing, but she muffled herself, keeping silent. She breathed deeply, heavy, slow breaths as her sense of the world tipped off-kilter. She began to move, stepping through the undergrowth, the crunch of leaves muted by divine discretion in service to her anxious impulses, hiding her as she made her retreat a stride at a time.

She didn't know this realm. Where she went, she really didn't care, in the moment. Dizzied and fighting her strain, she made a quick and quiet retreat into the woods, moving away from the gathering along that wall. Once she was a few paces away, she ran instead, ran for several minutes, until she dropped to her knees in the forest.

It was just too much. She was wrong, she shouldn't care. One loss, found again, but another loss, except replaced, and she didn't understand how or why. It wasn't only the moment, but weeks of worry and struggle and strain, obligation and trying and failing to meet it, layers  weight her down and it had finally broken her to collapse. Her hands shook, as she brought them up to cover her face and muffle her tears, as she let herself just cry under the pressure.

Rahim sighs heavily. "Let me elaborate, then. After the war, after the world broke, the Garden was left isolated. The theurges of the Nexus were our only contact with the outside world. We were left alone, confused, and largely left to ourselves."

"I had the power of a god, and I used it to preserve the people here. What else was I to do? They were my friends, my companions. And so I protected them, guarded them, from the monsters of Uncreated Night and the occasional intrusion from another realm that found its way here. And for a time, all was well. Their prayers and my power were enough to sustain the spirit of Iesha."

He sighs heavily. "But then the doorway to the Nexus closed. I don't know why, but the theurges stopped coming, and the door was closed, and we were alone. Without enough food, only fruits and flowers, the people turned on each other. Infighting was consuming them. The people I loved were killing each other for a scrap of meat or simple frustration. Can you imagine how much that hurt? To watch as the delicate system I had created, and the people I had sacrificed to protect, were killed by each other?"

He begins to pace in a tight circle. "At that point, I realized there was a pattern. Every time there was an intrusion from the Night, the people put their differences aside until it was resolved. An enemy made them close ranks, you see? And so I was left with a choice. I could remain their god, their friend, their guardian - and watch them kill each other. Or I could...become the enemy that made them work together for protection. I could kill some few, retreat to the forest, and become a monster, so that they always had something to make them see the value in cooperation and working together rather than abandoning each other."

He pauses, and then says, "I wasn't sure at first what to do. But then I saw a man murder someone and eat her because he wanted something of more substance than fruit. He was the first I took. It all flowed from there. May the One have mercy, I know every step I took that led me here, and yet I still feel so lost."

Alvatter listened attentively as Bire Alyeda spoke of what she had gained during her fusion with the spirit of Iesha. His face was placid as he took in the details and when she was finished he gave her a single nod of his head. Then Etu spoke and after processing her words more than a few times in his own head he gave her a nod as well but did not comment further. There were many conversations swirling about and he had to keep focus on the topic he needed to know most.

Then Rahim spoke and his understanding began to solidify, although not without some holes in his understanding.

"I see."

He paused, considering his next words carefully as the foreign power worked its effect upon his mind to smooth his normally lackluster social graces.

"I can appreciate, if not understand, the difficulty of the decisions you made and the perceived necessity of them. Especially in light of the circumstances surrounding your relationship with the late or perhaps transfigured Iesha. I cannot say what I would have done in your position, trapped in a garden set adrift in the Uncreated Night with a devout group of people looking to you for guidance."

"You may well have saved the sum of their society even if it cost many people their lives. Unfortunately we do not have the luxury of diving futures that did not come to pass. I can only maintain, at least to myself, that there was another way."

He quickly held up a staying hand, hopefully stifling whatever interjections or comments might arise.

"That, however, is neither here nor there. What I would like to know now is how you achieved apotheosis. From Bire Alyeda's account you were a guard who threw himself upon a pyre. How did you awaken to the powers of a divinity and what exactly are these powers that you possess."
This message was last edited by the player at 17:08, Wed 06 Jan 2021.

Etu had attempted to keep each of these strange creatures in sight as they had spoken, but somehow she had lost the one that had named herself Rashana.  Her hooded gaze panned back and forth, trying to discern where the woman had gone, but she could not pierce the veil of subterfuge that had been woven.  She shook her head as if to clear it, listening to the others and trying to make sense of their words. She had been trapped since the Calamity, and yet Rahim's actions had been well after. How long then had she been bound? She did not know, could not know. Time had not existed, within her crystalline prison. She had just felt that wave of darkness roil, and Anaya's presence vanish like a dream.  Understanding had come to her then, of what she had done in her name. It had been too much, and she had collapsed into unconsciousness.  When she awoke, it was to her crystalline prison, and her own laments.

"For how long was I imprisoned?"

She said at last, looking between Rahim and the others.

"For how long has the world been broken, and how many survive?"

Would she even be able to understand this new existence? Rahim had spoken of having the power of a god.  Is that what she was now too? Was her new understanding born of that same place?  She could not say. She could feel that wellspring of power within her, observe its effects upon the world. She had assumed that was just a side effect of her wielding Anaya's Breath, but it seemed that it was more than that.

Laila had been silent for some time, barely even a presence amidst the rising tensions.

It had all begun with La’s re-emergence. What might have been a welcome surprise, an innocent mistake put right, had failed to draw either of relief or joy from her. Laila’s realisation had taken the form of a subdued and wary stillness rather than abject shock, and her brief flicker of wide-eyed realisation was swiftly smothered by an unyielding stony expression. If she felt anything at La-in-Alyeda’s admission of guilt then it was shuttered, buried deep. What was that though but a tacit admission that she felt something.

That was the last of it. From then she had been closed off, diminished, easily ignored. A light gone dim.

Rashana had been the one to begin to chip away at that shell, because of course it would be her. Her words, her pleas, her sheer emotional exhaustion couldn’t help but stir up a restless energy in Laila, a stiff knot of emotion, but even then she was still left watching from the sidelines. It was all so overwhelming – so much – and in the light of things she had half a mind to quit the scene herself. She couldn’t though, whether for responsibility, propriety or simple cowardice. Her mind wouldn't let her make that choice; it would be worse than staying.

Still something broke within her as she watched Rashana turn in tears and flee. It was the worst kind of wake-up call, one which had only reached her after things had long passed boiling point. A sharp and painful admission that things had gone too far, and a stark realisation that she had done nothing but stand by and let this happen. Another all-too-preventable failure marked against her name.

She could have acted – should have – but instead failed to take a stand, consumed by indecision. Perhaps there was something to what Rahim had said. Perhaps deep down she really was a coward too afraid of the consequences.

That had to change. She had to make a choice, for what use was the Sun if too ashamed to show its light.

---

With new revelations, with the truth finally given voice, a way forward finally began to form within her mind. Laila found herself looking on the strangers anew, and even as the firestorm their words had raised within her turned to ice she found it thawing under that fresh lens. Alyeda’s desperate plea had her composure on the edge of slipping and she clung to herself tightly, her fingers tangled up in the hem of her cloak. Even that softened though as Rahim offered his past and perspective. Her throat bobbed in sympathy.

It felt as though she finally understood them, like something had finally cut through all the noise.

Laila stirred at last, her mind made up. She gave one last look towards Rashana’s path of flight, affirmed her own course with a nod, and then finally forced herself to move. Her stiff steps carried her not towards her fellow Inheritors but the one who still stood apart from them. Towards Kayla al-Saif.

She settled in alongside her friend but only had eyes for the debate before them. For a while Laila was content to listen and absorb all she could, letting the dead air between them draw out. It was only when Alvatter sought to push his questioning further that she inclined her head towards Kayla and spoke in a tone wistful and tired. “I’m sorry, Kayla. None of this has gone as I had hoped.”

Half-heartedly she cast her hand towards the others, palm open. “When they found their way here I thought that we would finally have our answers. I hoped that your people might finally know peace.” A bitter sigh as her arm dropped. “Perhaps we have some of those answers now, but it feels like we’ve only brought you new conflicts rather than ending them.”

“I know that we can be better than this.  Everything I told you about Alvatter and Rashana is true, and that woman …” -her eyes marked out Alyeda- “… even if she’s a stranger to me now, I trusted who she was before. They’re people I was willing to die for, and it hurts seeing them like this. Seeing us fall apart and feeling powerless to stop it.”

Laila turned to look Kayla head on at last. While far from how dejected she had looked at her lowest, there was still a downward cast to her features. She spoke earnestly and with contrition. “All of this happened because your voices were ignored, and I’m truly sorry for that. But I’m here now, and I’m listening.” The ghost of a smirk caught her lips. A welcome flash of confidence. "And I think I can end this."

“But for that I need to you be honest with me: what justice would satisfy your people, Kayla? How do you want this to end?”

  "Anaya's presence scattered into Their Inheritors on eleventh— Uh, eleventh Phaio... Oh! Finally!" Alyeda leaps at Etu's question with a librarian's eagerness to synthesize. La had delivered the month's repair orders (and a forecast of the See's upcoming maintenance needs, and usually a report on tomorrow's weather and a personalized horoscope) in the same tone, back home. But she barely begins before her attention drifts after Laila, eventually breaking away from the conversation entirely.

  Alyeda, likewise, slips away. But she reconvenes a moment later, just close enough to Kayla to mark all the rest as outside her attention. It puts her half a pace back from Laila, just beyond arm's reach to the right.  The flowers are larger near her, their colors more saturated. Faint eddies of jasmine breeze tug her hair back and wind it into a complex braid right in front of them. As high as she's keeping her head, it shows a lot of neck.

  "I apologize for my distraction earlier. I am—" Alyeda's eyes lower, and a shift in her weight settles it firmly on her heels. "And for that, I am in my nieces' and nephews' most terrible debt."
This message was last edited by the player at 19:31, Sun 10 Jan 2021.

"My name is of the sword. But I...there has been too much death here. Too much blood soaks this dirt already." Kayla's voice is choked by emotion. "Go. Just...just go."

Alvatter was perturbed by the seeming lack of cohesion in the group, conversations being carried out entirely separate of what he felt was the true objective of their meeting at current. He considered, albeit briefly, trying to reassert control over the situation but when Laila spoke to Kayla and was asked to leave he simply sighed.

"Yes..yes perhaps that's best for the moment. Let us return to the Nexus. There we might resolve this matter further. We can return to the Garden when we have answers and a plan."

Assuming no one stopped him, Alvatter was the first through the portal back to Nexus. His hand massaged his forehead as a headache began to mount.

  "No one should have to make such decisions so quickly," Alyeda responds, oblique as ever. Her tone is gentle, but the glance she shoots Laila in the process of turning around is pointed. She searches for Etu's eye.

  "Thirty-seven days since Anaya was divided. Thirty-four since the Remnant departed. We could wait no longer. Likewise, we should all be going now." A pile of yellow dust, just paler than clover pollen, lies in her palm. A breath turns it into a cloud. She extends a hand toward the Lampkeeper and a wry smile to the rest of them.

  "Darling. The rest of you will have to breathe deep to follow, I'm afraid." Then she mimes opening a door against the palisade and leads him through the wall. Both vanish completely. Seconds later, in Nexus, the darkness ripples again and disgorges the inhabitants of the Garden together. There are already several busy-looking people with clipboards approaching by the time Alyeda is three paces into the plaza.

Etu had nothing to say to that.

Thirty seven days then, for what had seemed an eternity of years. She wondered, as she had a thousand times within that prison, if that what those she had inflicted undying servitude upon had experienced. Trapped forever within a cage of her making. She would have her answers soon enough, and then her great work could begin. Gathering both her badge of office and the mantle that came with it, she moved to follow Alyeda towards the plaza.

Her attention having been on Alyeda over her shoulder, Laila’s head whipped back around at Kayla’s strangled request. She found herself reeling, eyes darting between the others as they accepted in turn without complaint. Even without thinking she found the words slipping free, a tinge of desperation to them. “What? But I ...”

And then she caught herself. Stopped dead.

Laila forced herself to stand by as the others went their own ways. Maybe there was a look in her eyes that bordered on pleading, small gasps escaping her like stillborn words, but she made no move to act on what was racing through her head. If they could simply turn and walk away then it was hardly her place to stop them – to tell them what was right and what they should think. Perhaps … perhaps she had been wrong in assuming that she knew the best course in the first place.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

She regarded Kayla with a stiff formality so different from her approach mere moments earlier. A forced front fraying at the edges. Even with her mind set it still took Laila a second to find her words, her mouth left hanging awkwardly mid-thought. “Our doors will will always be open to you, and if we learn anything that could help - I understand if you don't want our help, but just ...” She did her best to give a watery smile. “Please think about it. Please?”

With a parting nod she turned and made for the treeline and the absent Rashana.

Only then did she finally release her power and leave Kayla to ponder things with a mind entirely her own.

---

Back set against a tree, Laila allowed herself to breathe. Breaths came shaky and tense but still they helped. She pulled the armour back in around her heart, set the clasps tight and forced herself to move forward, in mind if not entirely literally.

During her time in the Garden she had made more than a few patrols of the world beyond the walls, whether to learn the lay of the land, provide an escort to foragers or assist in the relighting and replacement of the warding lanterns. She didn’t truly know this place but that hardly mattered. All that mattered was that she had known it – that the light knew it. She whispered a small prayer of thanks to Anaya – force of habit – that Rashana had not been more subtle in her flight.

Laila went down on one knee, placing a hand upon the trail of disturbed foliage, and reached out with her senses. The sun became her eyes, tracking those small signs of a forced passage from one patch of daylight to the next. Some of it was little more than guesswork between literal blind spots and those she had never walked, but eventually ... there.

It took all her self-control to not simply drop everything and run.

She made her approach with a conscious effort not to catch Rashana unawares. The last thing Laila wanted was to be another shock, another welcome surprise, so she closed the gap between them cautiously but calmly and from within Rashana’s field of view. She announced herself while still a good few meters away.

“Shana …?” Laila’s own uncertainty bled through, and she raised her hand in a placating gesture – desperate not to seem a threat. Her voice was soft, reassuring if not entirely sure. “It’s alright. I’m here for you.”

A few steps closer, slower now. She reached out tentatively, reluctant to make contact however much she wanted to.

“Are you …? Can you look at me?”

OOC:
Ending Heart of the Lion and using some narrative time Effort commitment to track Rashana through Sunlit Sight.

One way or another, Rashana was not hard for someone of Laila's talents to pursue.  While she had been fairly stealthy simply from her desire to slip away unseen, that didn't really hide the traces she left behind, or the emotional residue of her withdrawal into the trees. She had run into the woods for some ten minutes before she had stopped, and so Laila could trail her easily, finding her by the sound of shaky breathing and upset sobs, the sort that puttered out of someone who had managed to pour themselves out to the first point of fatigue.

The sound of footsteps in the brush and leaves perked her attention, and as she twisted to look, the soft voice seemed to soften her expression. For a moment, the girl down on her knees just stared, then she reached up and wiped her arm over her eyes, audibly drawing in her breath. Her head nodded, as the arm came clear of it, and lowered. She was red in the cheeks and her bright eyes seemed stormy instead, as the cloud hung around her. "H-hey. You came." Her softened expression shifted into a slightly wistful slant, before it became a faint smile, and her eyes lowered. Her posture softened, arms uncrossing as she took a heavier breath. She was still shaking a little, especially her hands.  At the very least, she didn't feel closed, as she had with Laila's approach.

Of course it would be her. The day didn't like being subtle about things. When Laila asked her to look, she twisted about, angling her legs into a curl beneath her as she spun about a third of the way, so she was facing her at an angle, now. Seeing the hand outstretched, Rashana's eyes lowered briefly. Her hands squeezed each other atop her skirt in her lap, before she pulled one free to reach up to the one hand offered to her. She hesitated for a moment, then gently touched. She exhaled a breath, and Laila could feel a sense of relief wash back up through the flood again, obvious even without her keen sense for emotion; with it, it was as obvious as a flare in the night. Just as quickly, the tide of that emotion ebbed to mingle with a more tense and timid feeling. "I.... I'm sorry about just... just running off like this. It was just getting to be... too much." She still had that shakiness to her, looking up to meet Laila's eyes directly, now.

She did still have that shaky instability to her emotions, heightened emotion that seemed prone to swinging wildly from one to the next, a tempest stirred up by just the right conditions. Her fingers grabbed on to Laila's, squeezing them gently.

  At five paces, her leg buckles under her. No surprise registers on her face, and her fall is controlled, but that only means she hits her knees hard to spare her wrists. The clerks, nearly upon her, lose speed. It isn't enough; the Intercessor's lunch escapes her before her weight has even settled, and none of them fully escape the splash. Alyeda's sleeves take the worst of it, at least. At a glance from her, they scatter, one returning quickly with water while others start assembling teams or moving purposefully off into the city. Even the Restless were not so easily directed, though she'd always delegated with the clipped efficiency of triage. When someone begins heading her way with a mop, Alyeda backs away toward an unused alley.

In the Garden, Kayla nods to Laila. "I will. We will. You are still a friend, you are still...but we need time. Time for the wounds to heal. And I cannot promise that we will ever be at ease with him, after this has all...I cannot promise welcome for him."

---

In the Nexus, Rahim moves almost instantly to catch Alyeda, but doesn't quite finish the movement. He is standing at wary attention, eyes everywhere and nowhere all at once. "This is...a far cry from the Garden, this city-world," he murmurs.

Alvatter is not quick enough to say Alyeda from her fall and he doesn't follow her when she moves off into the alleyway alone. Instead he looks to Rahim.

"Yes it is and we will see to your familiarization. In the meantime however please see to Bire Alyeda. I fear she may be overwhelmed at the moment and her changes could prove taxing, possibly even unstable."

Laila squeezed back, soft and tender. “It’s okay. Really. I understand.”

She shuffled a little closer. There was a certain awkwardness to the movement, her mind still undecided on the right balance between contact and space. It left Laila eyeing the gap between them as if warring within over whether she should bridge it or not. In the end she settled against and raised her eyes with a nervous smile, suddenly self-conscious. She huffed out what just might have been a laugh. “I felt the same, I mean. It was too much – nothing like I had hoped. I might not have ran, but if I wasn’t so familiar with keeping those feelings locked away I think I might have.” Laila’s thumb gently stroked up and down Rashana’s fingers. “I think you were the braver of us, truth be told. You weren’t afraid to speak your mind and show what was in your heart.”

Her eyes turned down to look at their clasped hands. Despite Laila’s best efforts there was a faint air of melancholy about her, those words as much a barb turned inward as an outward compliment. When she spoke again her tone was slow and thoughtful. She didn’t look up.

“Anaya may have chosen us, but none of us was made to bear this weight. Despite our power we’re only human and inevitably will make mistakes, argue … fail. That’s just the way of things.” She gave Rashana’s hand another soft squeeze. “That’s why this is important. We pick each other back up; we make sure no-one has to carry more than they can manage.” A flick of the head towards her absent left arm. She rolled the shoulder for emphasis. “Nothing good happens when we push ourselves too far.”

Laila inched a little closer, her jaw working as if feeling out her words. She was in no rush to force something out for its own sake and chose to let the quiet draw on, still but for the slight motions of her head. Eventually even that came to an end. She stirred. “What I’m trying to say is … of course I came back for you, Shana.” Laila looked up, and her eyes were soft and warm and honest. “I’ll always come back for you. I promise."

"Anaya lied to me."

Etu said with finality, staring hard at those who had stepped through into Nexus from within the darkness of her cowl. There was iron in her voice, so unlike the woman she had been. Her form had always been twisted by the mantle of her office, but none who had known her had ever heard he speak with such unconcealed rage. The fury was directed not at all at her new companions, it had not even been aimed at Rahim upon the revelation that he had been her captor. It had been aimed purely at herself, and at their creator. Her voice was bitter and corroded by whatever revelations she had experienced during her enforced solitude.

"Everything that has come before was tainted with that deception, and the power spoken of within the Garden that suffuses us is similarly twisted. Are all who have survived the collapse transformed such, or are some infused with divine purpose and others spared such power and responsibility?"

She paused, simmering but contained within herself.

"What of Nexus, what of the other survivors? I have seen some of the dynamics between each of you, some of you known to me and others not. I see that you are changed in the ways that I sense I am changed. I see that it has altered things between you, and that you are still adjusting to what that means for each. I am an outsider here, and thus likely I have only seen the surface. I have no insight to offer there, it is not my place to interfere. What of the world upon which you manifest such power? You have spoken of shaping the perceptions and beliefs of others, not as Anaya did. Are all not suffused with Anaya's cursed divinity then? Are some still as they were, untainted and untouched by the fall?"
This message was last edited by the player at 02:35, Tue 19 Jan 2021.

Rashana was still trembling, caught in a storm as Laila approached and as she began to offer her supportive words. At the very least, she agreed with how intense the whole situation had become. Her heart pounding, she drew comfort from what Laila had to say, and her breath drew in, exhaled more slowly as she sat upright a bit more, and brought her arm up to wipe her face lightly, once more. The brush of Laila's fingers over her own softened the blonde's grasp, but didn't break it.

"I don't know about brave. I just felt like it was getting out of hand. I... really still don't know what to make of this. I..." She paused, then trailed off entirely for a moment, making a thoughtfully quiet sound as her lips closed and her head lowered again. She bit her lower lip slightly as the words lingered, before Laila went on, reassuring her that despite all their power they were still human, still fallible, still able to make such a mess of things.  "Yeah..." She looked back to Laila as  she agreed, in time to catch the nod toward her missing arm. Her eyes followed the indication, lingering on what was left of it, there. Rashana twisted where she sat, and turned to face Laila a little more directly, her free hand patting the ground beside her and the other gently pulling her a little bit nearer. The storm had steadily calmed, just hearing her talk, and Rashana let out a breath, managing to echo that faint laugh from earlier.

Laila's words then, a promise that she'd always come back for her, made the maker pause with a brief fluster. Her cheeks warmed to a visible shade of pink as her head angled lower and her eyes lifted, looking Laila in the eye with her head slightly at an angle. Her lips faltered from the subtle frown to a slanted smile. "Okay, that makes me feel a lot better, if I'm honest..." It made her feel... a few things, if Laila was bothering to pry with her keen sense for emotion.

There was a moment of hesitation as her eyes went to their clasped hands, and she gave another little tug - though whether she was aiming to draw Laila to her or to help herself up really depended upon how much firmness Laila put into her hand in the moment - either way, it was a smooth effort to either rise to her feet or pull Laila down to sit beside her - whichever the other woman instinctively leaned into, Rashana herself mirrored with grace, as if it had been the plan all along.

"I admit, though... I don't know what to do about Alyeda. I... I really cared about La. I was starting to figure her out, I think. Slowly. I'd realized she had some special powers, though I didn't know what exactly... Now... I don't know. I feel like I'm just being expected to transfer all that over to Alyeda, despite her being someone completely different, whether La is in there or not. What she said, about not being friends - it was like she expected me to just... be okay with La being gone. Honestly, I'm not a fan of Rahim or anything, but... it's what's happened to La that's bothering me more than anything." She looked up, seeming relieved to just have the words off her chest in what felt like a much safer place. "... Does that make sense?"

In reply to Etu (msg # 134):

Alvatter took stook of Etu, really for the first time since her mysterious appearance. She seemed to have a more personal history with the now absentee, likely deceased goddess, than he did and while he was curious as to how and why he decided that now, especially now, was not the opportune time. Instead he simply listened to her words and did his best to respond to the questions she raised.

"I'm afraid I can't speak much to Anaya's motives or actions. I am an Archivist for the Order of Triumphant Wisdom, a scholarly order dedicated to transcendence through arcane knowledge. Our interactions with Anaya was distant at best. I hope that we can find out the answers in time, together."

He then thought more on her next questions while gesturing for the pair of them to have a seat near the fountain. Alvatter wasn't exactly weak but he wasn't built for the high-stress of what he had just been through. Calming down now had robbed him of a great deal of his strength or perhaps just his desire to do much more than what was necessary.

"As for the Nexus I've been considering it a world between worlds, a hub where some ancient society coordinated movement between various realms or perhaps fragments of realms given the size of the Garden. From what I pieced together from Rahim this place was ruled by theurges for a time and they seemed to be using the realm-gates for resource gathering or some such thing."

He gestured expansively.

"They are gone now, along with nearly all of the evidence of what they were doing here. The people you see are the one we brought from Irohn or as the portal called it 'The Land of Twilight Skies'. It's gone now and these people, and us, are all that remains. That portal is sealed now and I wouldn't recommend opening it."

He pointed to the now sealed portal but quickly moved to her last point.

"Then there is this cursed divinity you speak of. I'm afraid I can't speak to how many people inherited Anaya's power, cursed or otherwise. Those of us you've already meet are all what we've been calling Inheritors. It seems that Rahim is one as well although we weren't created at the same time so it's entirely possible that his power isn't Anaya's but another dead gods. I don't know. I wish I did."

Then he waited, a tiredness gradually seizing him and showing on his face.

Laila made no effort to shift Rashana, instead happily accepting the invitation to join her. She did however excuse herself on the way down with a slightly embarrassed “A moment,” to adjust the angle of her sword and smooth out the lie of her cloak beneath her. Only then, after one last check to make sure everything was in order, did she reach for Rashana’s hand again, a sheepish shrug her only explanation. She just couldn’t help herself.

They were closer now and Laila couldn’t help but feel that bit more confident for it. Where before she had been keen to give Rashana space and control, now she found herself shuffling in until they sat shoulder to shoulder with their hands nestled in the space between them. It didn’t matter that Rashana looked away as she spoke. Laila felt the distance between them falling away, eroding piece by piece as Rashana unburdened herself. She gave her hand small squeezes of encouragement as she went on, stumbling then catching herself, in the hope that such a small thing might carry even if Rashana couldn’t see her face. It didn’t matter if Rashana didn’t think herself brave, Laila needed her to know that she thought it – was there for her through every word.

“It does,” Laila nodded, soft and sympathetic. “This hasn’t been easy for you.”

Despite that affirmation she was slow to speak again. Laila seemed unhurried, content to let this moment of calm stretch or not wanting to set ripples on the water. She couldn’t keep it from her eyes though. Even if her lip still wore the hint of a smile as she sat there calm and warm and steady, Rashana would be able to see a sort of distance to her if she only looked close enough, a mind at work behind her mask.

Eventually she stirred and lightly shook out the cobwebs. Still she didn’t speak immediately. It took a moment of looking into Rashana’s face, idly chewing her own lip, before Laila managed to find her words.

“Being chosen changed us, Shana. You’re worth an army of workers now, and on a good day … maybe I’m worth an army too. But we’re both the same people underneath all that. You’re still you and I’m still me. No amount of power is going to change that.”

“I don’t think other people saw it that way. To them we were divine: the last remnants of Anaya. They weren’t wrong to think that, but that was all that they could see. It didn’t matter that we were normal people just a day ago. Suddenly we had to have all the answers. We just had to.” She sighed and gave a tired little smile, rubbing their fingers together. “But you were still you and I was still me. We still had our memories, flaws, fears. And we made a lot of mistakes Anaya wouldn’t have.”

“And when I think of it like that I start to see a little of myself in Alyeda.”

The words hung in the air, and while Laila headed off any questions with a pointed look she was in rush to explain further. She chewed her lip again. Only after a long beat did she continue, her timbre vulnerable. Soft.

“I was a quieter person before. All this power gave me the confidence to make myself heard … but the things I've found myself saying haven't always been helpful or right, not even when I was sure and speaking from the heart. I changed a lot very quickly, and that must have been hard for the people around me. I felt more comfortable in my own skin than I ever had before, but to them it must have seemed like a stranger wearing my face. Maybe they didn't even recognise me at all.”

“I’m not trying to say this is the same because it isn’t” - quick to make the point -  “but to me it feels similar. Both of us have only known a change like from one side and now we’re seeing it from the other.” Laila shrugged and their shoulders ran against one another, not for indifference but uncertainty. She was picking her words carefully, speaking slowly enough that she seemed afraid of stumbling. No room for misunderstandings. “Maybe Alyeda is different from La, but you and I are also different from who we were before. We don’t know how much she’s changed deep down or if these  ‘changes’ are just pieces of herself that she chose not to let us see.”

“Shana … you’re not wrong to be uncertain. You’re not wrong to feel hurt. But today was bad. We haven’t even begun to know her yet.”

Rashana was quiet and thoughtful as Laila joined her, her thoughts busy in her own head as they settled together, and her eyes lowered to their hands, clasped between them as the sat side by side. "... It's not been easy for any of us, I think..." Rashana agreed with her initial sentiment, and turned back toward her for that lingering moment of quiet, meeting her eyes.

Laila spoke of how they were still so very flawed, and Rashana couldn't help but agree. It made sense, and while she certainly had power now, she didn't really feel like much more than herself. In truth, the reverence had been something she hadn't actively encouraged toward herself, and so...  So, the point about Alyeda made at least some sense.

During the brief lull, Rashana turned to focus on Laila, seeing the hesitation as the other nipped at her lower lip. Then she seemed to open up and talk about herself. Rashana listened, lowering her head in quiet contemplation as Laila shared with her.

"I was always... good at this sort of thing. With my hands. Horrible with dealing with people, though. Which... was never great, given my family or their expectations. And then my talents just brought on a whole other set of people who were interested in what I could do, and I just... didn't want any of it. I wanted to learn, to create, to understand... but..." She shook her head a little. "And I got so much of that, but people are still a mess, and people with all the power we have are so much harder to figure out..." She said quietly, and lightly squeezed Laila's hand in turn.

"But I think I see what you're saying, at least. It's not easy for her, either. I can at least try to understand her for her. I just... in the middle of all of this, all at once, all just... happening. It was a lot to figure out and I just... didn't have any answers." She exhaled a heavy breath, and let her weight shift, slightly inclined against Laila's shoulder, before she turned and wrapped her other arm across her frame, gently up past her severed arm with a feather-light touch as she leaned into a brief embrace.

"I wouldn't say today has been bad... It's been... hard. Very hard. It's been a relief, too, Laila. I'm... I'm really glad you're back..." There was a brief pause, and she looked up to her, a moment of hesitation on her face. "... So, when exactly did you start thinking of me as 'Shana'? I kind of like it... At least, when you say it."

A flush of colour crept its way up Laila’s neck. She swallowed hard. “A while ago. When I realised I missed you most of all.”

“Zara had been trying to teach me how they make the lanterns. I was awful at it, but she did her best to help me. And as she did … all I could think about was your workshop and watching you turn broken things into something beautiful.” Laila sighed long and low and deliberate. “And I needed that. I needed something to remind me that not everything we did ended in loss and failure.”

“It was a small thing but it meant so much to know that. To remember a time when I felt completely happy and sure that we were doing the right thing.”

A shine caught her eyes but Laila was quick to blink it away. Nonetheless her voice still came a little thicker. “I’m really glad to have you back too. I know we haven’t known each other long, but you've grown so dear to me, Shana.”

The maker was quiet, leaned slightly into Laila's good shoulder to listen as she told her story. "... I'm... I'm glad that I was able to be there for you, in a way...  Dealing with all that on your own... When you turned back to hold them off, I...." She exhaled quietly. "I had to remove the mechanism for that gate, to stop myself for going back to find you." She trailed off quietly, letting a moment of silence linger in the air, before she angled her legs, feet away and knees toward Laila, shifting slightly in her position.

"I felt from the start that you understood me in a way I don't think the others... can?  We have a lot in common, heavy expectations, demanding families, people who wanted to make all our choices for us, even Anaya. And there's a lot we need to do, even now." Rashana exhaled quietly, her eyes lowering for a moment. She quietly chuckled a little to herself, as she continued. "But nobody else can really decide for us, anymore, Laila." Rashana glanced back up to Laila, and formed a bit of a grin, one hand brushing away the last of her tears from her eye.

She exhaled, and sat a little more upright, hand settling back in Laila's gently. "I really think... neither of us wants to do this alone... yeah?"