After the situation at the beach settles down, things are relatively quiet for a few days. The team keeps getting calls from various local talk shows to come on air and introduce yourselves to the city. "Get up, Chuck in the Morning" a local shock jock radio show is quite persistent, especially with SG and Moondragon. Moony easily detects lewd thoughts from the guy even over the phone.

With nowhere else to go, Bova hangs around the group's base. She happily does housework to earn her stay, and she's an excellent cook. Immigration and Naturalization shows up once, asking about your harboring of several undocumented immigrants, but a quick little mental whammy by Moondragon convinces them everything is in order.

The team gets a few calls about Conan sightings, but they turn out to just be weightlifters and fantasy movie extras.

Finally, a meaningful couple knocks on the group's door.

https://retconpunchdotcom.file...es-you-this-look.jpg

It's none other than Medusa and Black Bolt of the Inhumans. They are wearing Earth clothing, and Medusa is carrying a dog crate with her hair, well out to the side of both of them.

"Good day. This is Black Bolt, and I am Medusa, king and queen of the Inhumans. We have seen the reports of your group on the terran television, and we would ask the Avengers for a favor."

Iceman opens the door, holding a half-eaten bowl of Cheerios. He nods slightly as he listens to the Royal Couple's greeting, an icy hand reaching to scratch an itch somewhere under his blue bathrobe-- where exactly, it's best not to say. After they finish, he turns slightly to call down the hallway:

"Yo, Moondragon!" Or should it have been Squirrel Girl? Who was supposed to be the leader again? "Uh, Prince Harry and his girlfriend are here to ask a little favor. Come to the door, will ya?"

He takes a bite of cereal, a little bit of milk spilling down his chin as he stands there awkwardly, not inviting his guests inside.

"She'll be a sec," he offers helpfully.

The silent grandeur of space stretched before the eye of Moondragon’s mind. Billions of stars glittered like diamonds in bright contrast against an expansive sheet of black velvet. A few hundred thousand feet away, a comet sped past Jupiter. Moondragon appreciated the vastness of the realm beyond Earth. She’d traveled this and other galaxies in her lifetime, and mused that she would have seen more of what many Terran people still naively called “Creation” than what the average human would in a full lifetime.

Meditation afforded her the serenity which could seem elusive when associating with the more ordinary of her peers. Despite their own extraordinary gifts and experiences, they too often still managed to be so...mundane. Following the Shao-Lom meditative practice afforded Heather the opportunity to escape the mundanity of her present life. The more shallow people of California (and there was no shortage of such minds in Los Angeles) would liken the experience to instantly losing two hundred pounds. Freeing the mind to travel the cosmos would undoubtedly frighten most, but to Moondragon, the experience felt liberating. She always exulted in freeing herself from the incessant and inane prattle of Earth minds.

How ironic that she sought out the company of another mind. That of Phyla-Vell, her beloved life mate. A sense of anticipation flitted through Moondragon’s astral self, as she looked forward to once again touching her lover’s mind...   

An anticipation abruptly broken when Bobby interrupted her meditation with his shouts. Moondragon opened her eyes with a disgusted grunt. Clad in a dark green Gi, she floated down from the second floor of the Spanish-style house. When her bare feet touched the hardwood floor, she arched an eyebrow. “Queen Medusa. King Blackbolt. What sort of favor would the Royal Couple of the Inhumans ask of us?”

"Puppies? Did someone say puppies?" Doreen called out from the other room. She quickly dashed her way to the front door, but stopped mid-stride (on all fours, no less) on seeing the royalty. She slowly and carefully moved back exactly the way she'd come, only this time staring like a squirrel in the headlights at Medusa and Black Bolt.

A moment later, Squirrel Girl walked with some additional dignity back to the conversation, this time wearing her squirrel ears on her head and her squirrel friend on her shoulder. She did a curtsy before speaking.

"Greetings, your majesties. I see Moondragon is attending to your needs. Might I inquire? Tippy-Toe says that Alphonso says that Samsam says that Olive says that Pinkie says that there was a puppy nearby?"

Like Iceman, Armadillo had been eating breakfast when Tangled and Teller arrived.

His lucky break was that 1) 'Dillo doesn't really do bathrobes* and 2) The bit of response-time Bobby gave everyone lent enough time for Tony to wing the toast he was nibbling into the trash, stand up, 'pat himself down' for crumbs, and Get Formal.

"Your majesties..." He began, putting on an extremely fancy accent... then saw that SG and the MD were already doing the talking. He listened.


*that's right, kids, Tony's au naturel. Almost all the time. Just his shell. This comic went up a rating.
This message was last edited by the player at 06:07, Tue 21 July 2020.

The corner of Medusa's mouth curl up ever so slightly in a proto-smile, belying her pleasure at the team's attempt to put on a formal greeting. "Our faithful dog, and means of transportation, has had a rather... ridiculous... accident. There's some inconsequential technical mumbo-jumbo that Richards, Doom, or even that fool Wittman could explain." she waves her hand at that dismissively.

"What's important is that he's been devolved to a puppy, and it has made his teleportation abilities unreliable. His Majesty and I were attempting to travel to New York to engage Richards' help with this problem, and we ended up... here." That last word is said with a note of disgust. Moondragon FULLY understands the sentiment.

"Ah, but we play the hand we're dealt. His Majesty and I have decided to take the opportunity to travel across the country the slow way and use the time to get reacquainted with each other." Moondragon immediately senses a montage of lewd thoughts from both of them at that. "I'm afraid the dog will just get in the way. We were at a loss as to what to do when we saw the news reports of your team stopping that buffoon on the beach. Clearly, your group is good with animals, and you're local . We'd ask you to watch the dog for a few weeks until we return with some sort of treatment from Richards.

"We can, of course, make the job well worth your trouble. Karnak is amazing at acquiring Terran money through various gambling activities, including the American Stock Market. We have quite an extensive and valuable portfolio."

"Hey! Hey!" comes a voice down the driveway.

Up jogs the U.S.Agent, notably missing since the incident on the beach (if anyone noticed). "I found you!" His costume is moist with sweat, clearly from wearing a costume in the California heat. "I couldn't find you when you helped me take care for Kraven. Thanks for the assist, by the way. You did a fairly good job." He doubles-over, hands on knees, catching his breath. "I've been running around L.A. looking for you." Even more to the point, he smells as if he has spent the last few days literally running around L.A. "And here you are! What luck!" He stands back up and gives a toothy grin. "The team is complete again!"

He turns to Black Bolt and Medusa. "Oh, hiya. Sorry to keep you waiting." He leans forward, extending his hand to the man first, winding up the other hand to clap him on the back. "You found the U.S.Agent. Hero. Leader. Avenger."

“Imbecile,” added Moondragon with a roll of her eyes. She turned toward Medusa with an attempt at pleasant smile that ended up more strained. “Lockjaw...devolved, you say, while in your care. I hope there wasn’t a mishap with your Terrigen Mists?” The genuineness of her smile as she said the last part hinted at a possibility of perhaps hoping otherwise.

“Dog-sitting a puppy capable of teleporting to the moon may demand considerably more company resources, so of course, we will need to discuss the appropriate fees.” Moondragon intended to see exactly how the Inhumans “made it worth their trouble”. “We accept all major credit cards, Venmo, or cash.” Heather’s smile widened as she added for Medusa’s benefit, “Terran credit cards only, I’m afraid. I’m sure you understand, most realtors in Los Angeles are not quite as...well-traveled as you or I.”

Armadillo winced a little at the mention of "that fool Wittman"*, suppressed the memory and hoped that Moon Dragon lady didn't pick up on it. (This life just didn't let up sometimes, you know?)

However, Antonio was a complete Inhumans newbie. He didn't move in that "Richards" circle, either.

(Armadillo fought the Thing, of course, but who *didn't* fight The Thing? It barely counted. When villains played 'Degrees of Kevin Bacon' with eachother, Thing was banned as 'too easy'.)

So he knew about as much as anyone in the public: this was powerful,  rich, famous royalty from the Moon showing up at their doorstep to ask them to watch their... dog?

Teleporting dog.

Well, it wasn't the weirdest thing 'Dillo would ever be asked to do, so he wasn't against it. It wouldn't do, digging him a pit and throwing him in there, though. (That trick really only works once, he found.)

So, nodding his head in what he assumed was a respectful-enough gesture, Antonio briefly interrupted the rates-negotiation to see if he could actually do the job.

"Begging everyone's pardon- just one sec, your graciousnesses. Es.-"

His next gesture looked like he was doing a full-on courtier's arms-wide bow, but it ended up with him squatting into a position to greet the dog. He gently extended a clawed hand.

He'd know, in a second, if he could do this or not.

Shifting gears completely, he greeted Lockjaw in the friendliest way possible- calm and slow, minimal eye contact, hand out but not petting him until Lockjaw responded. " S'up, moondoggie! Who's a good booy?"


[OOC: Do I need to roll anything?]

*( Yep. https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki...ers_Vol_1_13_001.jpg That's him, upper left.)

"Indeed." Medusa replies with arched eyebrows to Moondragon's epithet of US Agent. Black Bolt executes a series of sign language after giving US Agent a diagnostic look. Medusa turns to him, "No dear. Just an imitator." He nods in return.

She turns back to Moondragon, "No not the Terrigen Mists, at least not directly. We had a run-in with Immortus. He de-aged Lockjaw to the time just after he received Terrigenesis. Why he didn't go further is anyone's guess."

A few strands of hair reach into a designer purse and pull out a bulging manila envelop and hand them over to Moondragon. "There is twenty thousand in American cash here and a debit card loaded with another thirty thousand. That should be enough to cover any expenses for a couple of weeks. We'll give you another fifty thousand when we return. There are also care and feeding instructions."

The hair-tentacles reach back inside the purse and pull out something that looks kind of like a high tech sunglasses case. She opens it up and reveals ten neatly arranged discs, each about the size of a quarter. "More importantly, are these. We can't suppress his teleportation ability, but we do have a microchip implanted in him. These devices will let you stay tethered to him if he happens to teleport uncommanded. A sort of electronic leash, if you will. You should keep these on your persons at all times so he does not get lost."

She offers them out to Moondragon. "Any other questions?" Her tone and body language are regal - closer to commanding than asking; certainly not expressing any doubt that the group will take the job.

The U.S.Agent puts his hand to the opposite side of his face, (poorly) shielding his words to Moondragon from the Inhumans. "It might be a good idea not to call our guests imbeciles," he says, almost pronouncing the last word correctly. "They may not understand what that means."

Then, after Medusa says her piece, he puts his other hand to the other side of his face, to (poorly) shield his words to the Inhumans from Moondragon. "It might be a good idea not to call her a imitator," he says, also getting that word wrong. "She's kinda a..." Quieter, "B-word."

“Ha! This from the...I believe Twitter called him...’The Dollar Store Captain America’.” Moondragon brushed past U.S.Agent with a visible look of disgust at his stench and general foolishness. “Yes, Your Majesty, that sounds more than sufficient for the job.”

She accepted the discs, taking one for herself. She handed them rest to Squirrel Girl. “Here, Doreen. Can you give John his once he’s properly housebroken? Thank you—and thank you for your business. May you enjoy your travels through rustic America.”

Squirrel Girl and Tippy-Toe had been standing just behind Tony, hands up at her mouth to hide her wide smile as she watched her friend reach out a claw to a real-life teleporting space puppy! The slow bounce was much more visible in her tail, and indicated she was having a difficult time not bursting out with excited energy in the presence of royalty, because of the presence of puppy. It was a difficult thing to contain herself, but Doreen was managing for the sake of getting the job. The bounce slowed to a stop at the numbers being thrown around as payment, and her stare turned toward the power couple. Still, she managed to keep quiet (this time because she was utterly stunned) until Moondragon handed her the discs. She took them and immediately slipped one into a vest pocket.

"Can do! Tippy-Toe, keep an eye on that and don't let it fall out. We're gonna be attached to a cute space puppy. This is gonna be the best couple weeks ever." SG then passed one down around Armadillo's shoulder towards his free claw. "One for you. Have you done this before?" The rest got held away from the US Agent with a frown. "None for you until you get cleaned up and behave yourself. You can't go around being mean to our teammates. It's impolite."

Claw still out, letting Lockjaw get the scent, Armadillo calmly accepts the item with his free hand and answers Doreen with " Sorta?"

Off SG's comment about not being mean, he adds, agreeably "Goes for calling people 'dollar store', too, Drogon. in the same dog-friendly tone.

“Don’t let the dog urinate on you,” Moondragon said oh-so-innocently. She stood over Squirrel Girl’s shoulder making soft “Pss-pss-pss” noises and smiling at Tippy Toe. If anyone looked at Heather, she immediately resumed her “Resting Bitch Face”.

Iceman had been heading back to his room to resume playing video games, but after sensing this is a "team" kind of thing, he reluctantly shuffles back to the door. True, he had been hoping for a chance to perform some more heroics, but pet-sitting isn't exactly what he had in mind. He thinks back to Lockheed, his fellow X-Man Shadowcat's pet alien dragon who could fly and breathe fire. He and the dragon hadn't gotten along very well, thanks mostly to that second part. Come to think of it, hadn't it also turned out Lockheed could talk and was some kind of secret agent? Yes, there was always more to these "super-pets" than met the eye. Iceman stares at Lockjaw, his expression making it clear that he neither trusts the dog, nor respects him.

"Teleporting, huh? He do any other tricks?" he asks, probing Medusa and Black Bolt's expressions for any sign they're being less than honest. The silent Inhuman King is especially hard to read...

“My cursory scan of Medusa revealed an array of his considerable powers. The dog—there is some debate that he may actually be more—can trace any ‘scent’ across dimensions. His diet encompasses inorganic as well as organic matter.”

Moondragon glanced over at Armadillo. “Watch your hands around him. If you ever talked to Benjamin Grimm, you would know that he lives up to his name.”

Iceman nods appreciatively to Moondragon. It was always handy having a mind-reader on the team. And the more he knew about Lockjaw, the easier it would be to ignore him. He gives a satisfied shrug.

"Sounds like easy money," he says, heading back toward his room. "He just better not eat my PlayStation."

“Again, keep whatever items or limbs you value out of reach of his mouth.” Her smooth forehead furrowed in a thoughtful frown. “Although I cannot imagine that a locked door will bar a puppy that teleports. Hmm.”

"There is nothing more American than a store that sells dollars, ma'am," the U.S.Agent announces, standing just a little straighter. He always seems just on the verge of saluting something, and this moment is just a little more. "It would be my great honor to represent such a place in this great land."

It doesn't take a telepath to tell Medusa is ready to leave, so she shuts down further conversation as quickly as she can and leaves the considerably hefty dog crate on the proverbial doorstep of the team's low rent office in East LA. She and Black Bolt beat a hasty retreat over the proverbial horizon.

The crate is the size of a washing machine, and the dog inside while perhaps chronologically now a "puppy" is as large as a full grown golden retriever and weighs in at well over a hundred pounds. His stubby little tail wags rapidly when Armadillo extends a claw and he gives the big, deformed guy an enthusiastic lick. This is only interrupted by his notice of Squirrel Girl, which instantly grabs his attention and earns a bark that would turn into a charge if Armadillo didn't quickly react and grab his collar.

Tippy Toes chitters agitatedly on SG's shoulder.

---

The group spends the rest of the day and night settling into a new routine with the puppy. Everyone is quite thankful to learn that he's housebroken. He likes Armadillo, tries to chase Squirrel Girl, and is pretty indifferent to Moondragon. Iceman figures out how to entertain him with giant ice-bones, that don't last more than a few minutes to his powerful jaws, and he keeps eyeing US Agent's shield like it's a big frisbee.

---

The next day during a walk, Lockjaw puts his nose up to the wind and catches some unknown scent. He picks up his pace, going this way, then that, trying to follow the invisible scent. Within a couple of minutes, this turns into a trot, then a run that includes barking. The tuning fork on his head starts glowing and emitting a cloud of purple, blue, and black kirby-esque energy until he (and whoever is currently walking him) finally disappears in a loud "WHUMP!" A minute later, the disks activate, showering their wearers in the same energy cloud and they too WHUMP!

---

Lockjaw and his walker appear a second later in the middle of a street in the middle of a rural town. The temperature is at least 30 degrees cooler than it was in LA, and the morning sun is not quite as bright. The rest of the group appear on a sidewalk next to a mural of a camel, in whatever clothes they were in at 8 in the morning.

https://imgur.com/zeGiMVi

Before anyone can do much more than look around, a convertible, metallic green cadillac rounds a corner and comes driving down the road. The driver doesn't seem to see the large dog and walker in the middle of the road until the last minute. Slamming on the brakes, it comes to a skidding stop, bumper just inches away from Lockjaw. The driver jumps out of the car and starts hollering in a southern accent something about "Of all the craziest moose I've ever seen... whot the hail are you..." He's wearing a leather bomber jacket with an American flag on the shoulder and dark blue baseball cap with NASA written in yellow letters across the front.

https://imgur.com/Bkqvex6

He cuts his tirade short and his angry face instantly transforms into a wide, open-mouth smile when he sees the rest of the group standing by the mural. "... people look like you're from out of town. Well, let me be the first to welcome you to Cicely, gateway to the Riviera of Alaska!" He comes over to the group on the sidewalk and gives everyone a thoughtful look before offering a handshake to US Agent, "Maurice Minnifield. Might I ask you what happens to be your business here in Cicely?" he asks enthusiastically.