What happened in Mendocino, California? (IC Thread)
In reply to Bernard Hathaway (msg # 65):
Akari pulls over to the side and then after Bernard gets out she hops over to the passenger seat. "IVAN be nice ok?" she says before Bernard can come back around. As Bernard goes to the door, the car rolls forward. Akari is clearly in the passenger seat now getting some coffee. It continues to roll forward just out of reach.
Running after the car, he yells "You didn't put the brakes on!"
The car reverses suddenly and Bernard narrowly misses the open door. It then starts creeping forward and back, toying with the former detective.
"Not this time!" Bernard hops in and slams the door shut before slamming the brakes. Akari looks up startled from the sudden maneuver. "Bad car!" he looked to Akari, "How did you forget to put it in park?!" he exclaims while wiping his forehead and shaking the rain out of his hair.
"He's messing with you." She said simply.
"What?! He?!"
"IVAN is."
Bernard looks flabbergasted, "The car, IVAN?!"
"Hai." She looks at the dash again. "He thinks he's funny..." She looks mad but there is a glimmer of mirth there.
Bernard looks at her as though she's a little crazy, "Heh, yeah, the car thinks it's funny!" IVAN honks the horn indignantly, "Fine, IVAN thinks he's funny!...Wait, what?!"
"You could tell him he's a handsome vehicle. He likes flattery." She says.
Bernard slowly looks down at the steering wheel, rubbing his thumb against the high end leather. "Whaaaaaaaaat?" he said in a low, gasping breathe.
The vehicle is still creeping backwards.
"No, no, no no no!" He tries holding down the brakes, but they refused to cooperate. Fortunately there are no other cars on the road at this crazy hour and weather.
"Bad car! That's a baaaad car! ...Wait, no! Who's a pretty car?! You are, you are! You are one of the raddest, most badass looking cars around! A Lambo would look at you and wish it was more like you! Please, please work with me!"
The car finally stops and waits.
Bernard lets out a shuttered breathe before leaning his head against the steering wheel. "The car IS alive. IVAN is alive. Someone could have WARNED ME!" He then glares hard at the dashboard, "Just so you know, I was already all sweet on you before your little stunt."
Akari looks at Bernard "I did warn you." She looks back at the console, which lights up in a subdued, shifting fractal pattern because its dark.
"You could have acted a little more serious about telling me the car is sentient, instead of being so casual about it." Bernard's right eye twitched for a moment. His right eye twitched again before rounding back on the rest of the passengers. "You all knew, did you?! ...Ashley, you okay there? You're actually looking a little shell shocked over there." Bernard asked genuinely worried. Ashley was still seated in the middle with her eyes cracked open to their fullest, and her hand leaving a noticeable dent in her cup.
Akari spoke to the vehicle, "IVAN its okay to talk now."
The fractal pattern undulates as IVAN speaks. "First you want me to be placid, then you mute me out, then you want me to be silent once more. You must make up that vivified cortex of yours. And Bernard Hathaway, I assure you, I am QUITE sentient. "
"And you talk too?!"
Akari, with a look of slight annoyance, begins "You're also quite a--" as the horn begins to honk and drowns her words out.
"...well, she's technically not wrong either" Bernard comments.
"Yes, I am articulate" IVAN stated smugly.
"Seriously better than some people I know. Just another one of the many failures this county lets continue on...wait, why am I talking about ethics and American education with a car?!"
"Are you done with the tantrum IVAN?" Akari asked.
"Quite. And I enjoy ethical discourse. I find it enlightening."
"As do I...I'm still doing it!"
Akari giggled at him.
Bernard held his head up before resigning himself to facts. "You know what. I'm in Knight Rider. I shouldn't be freaking out. This should practically be the best day of my life...Nope, still freaking out."
"At least he didn't burn your butt off like Kyle. Or light someones trash on fire with his spotlights like with Robert" Akari admitted IVAN's prior stunts.
Bernard looks down at the dashboard before raising an eyebrow, "...God damn IVAN, you're kind of an awesome badass, aren't you?"
"Kind of." IVAN held back no modest, and anyone could get the feeling he's pleased.