Dan picked up the demon in a bridal style with a grunt.

"She's heavier than she looks," he said with a grunt, before losing balancing and slamming the demon's head into a wall/ "I think I broke her..."

He had big waterfall tears at this point.

Ehri examined the demon's head for damage.

"No, it's much stronger than that," she said.  "Honestly, don't try to do this single-handedly if you're going to be that clumsy about it.  I'll take the head, and you take the feet."

...and that would block his view of her feet as she backed her way up the stairs, floating slightly above them.

"Okay," Dan said as you both began carry the demon up and outside.

You notice there's some kind of port behind the demon's left ear.

"...interesting.  Put her down for a second, Dan," she instructed, and she tried to see if she could use or cobble together a compatible cable.  She'd done that kind of work before, adapting to the inefficient but omnipresent human technology.

Dan did as you asked and it was easy enough for you to do, given how skilled you are.

She discretely plugged in to the demon and attempted to run some kind of diagnostic.  Luckily, she was using a computer that would pass for a human cell phone.

You now have complete access to the demon's systems. No passwords at all. It seems to be powered down. No real damage.

"She's kind of cute," Dan said as he looked the demon over.

...that was a remarkably poor security.  Well.

Then she processed Dan's words.

"Seriously?" she said.  "You're hopeless, Dan Satan.  Sooner or later, someone is going to slap you hard enough to leave a permanent mark."

Well, no point in taking chances.  She set up a password on the demon's files, and tried to register herself as an authorized user.

And then she turned it on, because science works by testing things.

The demon's eyes blinked and looked at you and Dan.

"I suppose you want to use my as a servant. I will let you know that I will not kill for you."

She sat up and crossed her arms to emphasize the point.

Ehri blinked in surprise.

"...I didn't expect that," she said.  "Well.  Hello.  Are you fully sapient?  That's remarkable programming, if you're free-willed.  I'm surprised, honestly."

She would have thought that the Priest-King would want his mobile weapons to not have the option to disobey.  It's what her father would have done, after all, and the Priest-King didn't sound like much of an improvement on Emperor Garamel.

Then again, there was no security on the demon.  It was quite possible that the Priest-King was an idiot.

Umuru looked at Ehri.

"Yes? Do Earthlings normally ask their prisoners such odd questions?"

"Well, that's not actually an accurate description of your situation," Ehri said.  "Look around.  There's nothing stopping you from walking away, now that you're awake.  But I'm confused as to what you were doing, walled up in a church."

Dan was completely forgotten.  This was much more interesting.

"You lot drove me there and then I was sealed by your holy man, Satan," Umuru said. "And I feel you in my head, you could deactivate me again."

"Ah," said Ehri.  "Yes, I put that in because I know what you are, and how powerful you are.  I didn't know if you were going to be friendly, or would just start destroying things.  Which, incidentally, is something that no human could possibly know how to--"

Wait.  Holy man?  Satan?  As in Dan Satan?

...Who was over there, probably listening to them talk?  She turned to see how Dan was tking all this.

Dan was staring at the demon, eyes wide. He didn't even seem to register the name.

"...anyway, I don't intend to hold you prisoner," she continued.  "Why did they do that to you?  What were you doing at the time?"

Umuru blushed, but then tried to hide it.

"I-I had come to this planet to lay low for a bit with my, uh, haul."

"Ah," said Ehri.  "And this Satan bound you because you didn't get along with the locals, I'm guessing?  That was a long time ago, you know.  It's probably been two hundred years since you were walled up."

Dan suddenly clicked into motion.

"Wait! That long ago, holy man Satan? Holy crap!" Dan said. "this cute girl is that old?!"

"I wasn't conscious for most of that," Umuru said, puffing out her cheeks.

Ehri sighed.  Her father was a monster, and she knew it, but he often ranted about being surrounded by idiots, and she was beginning to sympathize with that sentiment.  But, after all, Dan was exceptional by most standards.

"She is very cute, yes," said Ehri, calmly.  "She's also an artificial life-form, and quite possibly immortal, if no one breaks her.  And yes, it's been that long.  What's your name?  I'm Ehri Garamel."

...if she'd been locked down that long, that should be all right.  No, wait.  Her father had been building an empire for a very long time before she was born.  Was it more than 200 years?  She wasn't sure.  He hadn't exactly taught the history of his empire to anybody, wanting everyone to think it was eternal.  The Gamri empire was probably at least 20 years old, but how old was it...?

"My name is Umuru," she said.

"It's a cute name," Dan said.

Thanks to your translation tech, you understand it means one hundred and seventy five. A serial number more than a name.

Ehri sighed at Dan.  Yes, Umu was cute, Ehri thought so too, but honestly, he just kept going on and on about it.  Like he'd done with her, and every other girl he talked to.

"Well, Umuru," she said, "I think you have a problem here.  You're probably wanted by the authorities still, but I imagine that your former master was captured or killed some time ago, which is why you were never rescued.  Do you know where you'd normally go from here?"

"I would not be rescued anyway. I am a defect with no where to go," Umuru said.

"Really?" said Ehri.  "I'd like to examine you.  I haven't seen the Priest-King's work before, but I don't see any obvious defects besides a complete lack of security in your ports.  I don't really have any place to go, either, but I've got a residence and a lab not far from here.  You could stay with me."

"I can't really say no to someone with administrative access, but yes," Umuru said.

"Oh man, Melanie is gonna flip when she finds out we found an alien!" Dan said.