10b - Into the Dusk
The Vicar tucks his housekeeper's face against his body as though comforting a frightened child, for too much of the flesh is gone to work out how to close her eyes without a disrespectful poking, flensed to the bone in some places. It must have happened fast, but he cannot bring himself to contemplate if she had time to think, to know she would never cross the little distance to her own home again, never see sunlight again, never taste what she meant to set up in the pot; never do any of the simple things the living did, forever.
He'd seen her in church that morning, smiling, alive: Cecil is pierced through with the grief of a voice gone into the void of never, along with little gestures, a gentle and always-respectful sense of fun, and yes, her cooking. He'd miss the care she put into making a pie pleasing to the eye, the way she 'just happened' to make enough cake 'extra' when baking for herself that he should have some at breakfast or afternoon tea, her criticism of her crusts and her pride in chicken soup. The thing he holds is just flesh, gone pale and colder than his skin.
He realises how much he loved her, in the way of good, familiar things; how much he loves all his flock, maybe even to the worst of them. The pain receeds a little, though his body sobs.
Memory clasps hands again with a little Irish boy dying of red measles - Michael, really Michael, though so many of them were Michael he had to force himself to remember it was true - quiet and wise in the particular way of children who have come to terms with their oldest age being less than ten. It's as though the lad's determined, lisping lilt has been running through his head for a while, and only with the calming of Cecil's breath does the repetition of Psalm 23 surface into audibility to his mind's ear:
...I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters...
...He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake...
[[Aye, I think it's time for a SAN check to see what's going on mechanically, now he's had some time to process.]]