OOC:
I would have you, because you're interested, and I'd be glad to see your RTJ.
Go ahead and send me a RTJ! I can almost gaurentee you a spot. Unless I'm swamped with outstanding chemistry, you'll have a spot. :) Besides, you've taken the time to tell me about yourself a little, and me you. I consider you an acquaintance that become a friend soon, if only we get to share more posts. :)
Read the rest if you want. I wrote this and previous paragraph after what's below. It's not necessary to read below, but it might help clear up some of the stigma that I've once had to grapple with. It's long, and I'm not exactly at my best when writing. So it's also more than a bit rambling and meandering. I also may have made typo, or zombified a your/you're they're/their/there. Even though I KNOW better, autopilot typing; it happens. And there I go waffling. :p. It's a good day, but it's been long. :)
I want to make something clear, at least from my perspective. I am a horrible GM by RPoL standards. With the exception of two games, I've barely nicked the surface of what players have put into my games. I learned, not as long ago as I'd wish I had, that GMing is a labor of love. When it's just labor, you need accountability you can;t avoid. I would never have finished face to face campaigns if not for breaks when Anne runs and I don't. We, as a group, my long time face to face group, share Anne and me STing; unless we're playing D&D, in which case it's largely Will and Anne; though that's beside the point. My point is we don't GM parallel, we take turns.
Bottom line, is it isn't a contract. While I'm disappointed you only became interested in this game when seeing the prospect to play; it makes total sense, I've been there! Also make no mistake. I'm a flake; because I have to be, but so do you for your own reasons. Most people who work do. GMing is hard work when you have create most props or at least import them.
So don't bear any guilt. Especially since you disappointed no one. Least of all me. I hope you won't kill this game, but if you do, that's okay. No offense, I expect no less of anyone. I've never, and I mean never, seen a GM deliver as promised. I don't know you. There are GMs I love (when I play D&D and PF, that I became friends over two decades) that can't deliver; and I expect no less. It's not my main diet for gaming. I also don't spend the time on RPoL I did a year ago and prior.
So by all means, divide this game and mine as far as effort goes. If there was any question of a tit for tat; it's not with GMing and playing. I have my rules as GM, and you yours. If I obey yours and you obey mine; the two relationships need not be equivalent or equal, as long as they're fair. That is, when, not if, I flake out; you just roll along with it; which I don't doubt you will. I've seen you in my games before. Or maybe not plural, but at least one. I don't remember. I used to keep logs, but those logs had to be weeded out, as it's just too much to organize.
I am GMing because I want to. I am playing because I want to. My desire to see you play is only affected by this game if you uncharacteristically act ina manner beyond "a bad day". That is, unless you just went on a tirade and it couldn't be resolved within a week, hopefully sooner, I'm not going to blacklist you. You're nowhere NEAR that point. :)
Sorry for writing so much, but I know it's an issue with GM and player relationships. It's also a dirty secret that GMs have to keep when they ad for games, when they're not posting in others. Trust me, it's rife on this site, and there those that I've avoiding that are petty to account for such activity.