Crier's Cry New's Report
Theater Troupe Catastrophe! Are You A Vamp Too!
Ladies, gents, non-binaries and otherworldly beings from the fifth dimension, I will report to you our most recent news. The Dragonstar Syndicate has done it again and caused another groundbreaking incident in your very own Undermountain. We have stumbled upon what we believed to be undergraduate bardic students from one of Waterdeep's notorious colleges starting a play, a play they rope us into. But not just any play, but one of Ravenloft, starring infamous Strahd Von Zarovich himself, (Turn to Page 666 to find out the Darklord's backstory and his current whereabouts after so-called adventurers claim they slayed the Count (turn to page 3 for more info on that)), unfortunately the Count himself could not be here, for remember folks that these were simply students. The play they gave us was pretty much mediocre, but I'm no critic. I'm here to give you the big scoop of a lifetime. And ladies, gents, and beings that we can't possibly comprehend from our meager existence, do we have a story for you today. The theater troupe mentioned above was not just any ordinary college students, but in actuality blood sucking vampires. The Syndicate had an epic battle with these army of the living dead, but they survived unscathed if only slightly bruised, (If your wondering ways to fight a vampire, our Planeswalker specialist had made an interview with a younger version of famed Vampire and Monster Hunter Van Richten, read on at page 10). They're, the Syndicate now rests and recuperates from our long hard battle. However, you're probably wondering what made these teens go feral, is it the curse of vampirism, the rush of bleeding out the life force of your victim, or is there some other malevolent force pulling the strings? It's a mystery, but continue to read on through this paper and maybe you can help prevent this danger from happening to your loved ones, maybe even stop this danger from intruding on your livelihood.
Plant Talk By Cygnus
Oh boy folks, do we have something special for you today, now. We have our very own special interview from one of Dragonstar Syndicate's most valuable member. Give out an imaginary applause to Cygnus the Lily
Sprout Plant. He'll provide some answers that I bet you were all dying to hear.
"Hey, the name is Cygnus, I was just born sort of like yesterday and man, you have no idea the nagging I go through with my days. Especially from my mom, Cygnus this, Cygnus that, non-stop for every hour."
Ugh, that's nice but I haven't asked you any questions yet.
"Right, right, just needed to vent. What was the question again."
How's life as a plant?
"It's cool I guess, nothing much to do but grow. I get a lot of water daily, but nothing much goes on for me."
Interesting, do you want a life that isn't a plant, like being a human?
"No way, being a human seems like a drag. Especially if I get to have problems like my mom's. They're so annoying, she talks to me about her problems all the time like, oh woe is me I've been betrayed, oh how worrying, I'm not sure I like killing people. And it goes on and on, it gets gross when she gets smoochy on some other fleshbag, like Mister Televentor. I don't like that guy."
Hmm, I see, I'm going to save this topic, and this drama, for another time. For now, what do you think of the Syndicate's survivability in Undermountain.
"Psh, I don't know, I haven't seen much of anything. But I think you're all cool, so I'd say a 50/50 chance of survival. I think the small one is gonna die first if you get my drift."
Ah, that's not at all encouraging, but I think you've heard it all here folks. The Syndicate are pretty cool people with a 50/50 chance of actually surviving the Gauntlet that is Undermountain. Keep on reading for more information on the upcoming tournament. Also, if you have a rebellious talking plant, turn to page 7 for more information on such behaviors and find tips and tricks on how to get your plant child under control.