101-IC Spring on the Green
Galar couldn't keep the smile off his face, his dad's acknowledgement worth more than any prize. Still, he likely still had to prepare for the next round of the Lord's Court. The others' orations faded into the background as he perused his vade mecum again, looking through his notes of random collected snippets. Something fun though heroic. Hrm...defiant maybe. There were dwarves from the East here...maybe something to show the Men of Bree honored and appreciated them? Paging through his notes he had just the thing... perhaps a bit vulgar but it always gave him heart given the sheer bravado.
As the first round passed (and he drank a cider that was passed to him in appreciation) and the next round announced, Galar wished he could have listened to the other presentations. He put most of his effort in the first one but had a sketch for others in the off chance he passed that round. The young man took a deep breath as he stepped into the circle once more to make his delivery...
"Early in the dark days of Smaug's interregnum when that worm crept from the Withered Heath and crawled under the Lonely mountain, burning and consuming the Men of Dale and the Dwarves of Erebor alike, did the exiled dwarven King Thrór search for a new home for his people with but a lone companion, his friend and sworn-shield, Nár. The pair eventually found their way to Gates of Khazad-dûm, the lost dwarven manses of his people from a bygone era under three of the mightiest peaks of the Misty Mountains."
Galar scanned the crowd as he searched for the right tone for the next bit. Dwarves could be prickly at times and imagined doubly so for an outsider getting one of their stories wrong. "Now named Moria, the Black Pit, for good reason, Nár bade his friend and king to beware and to seek another place for his folk. Driven and perhaps desperate to restore a true home for his people, King Thrór walked to his doom and passed through Moria's gates, determined to reclaim his inheritance...alone."
"Nár hid nearby and watched the gates awaiting the return of his friend, but his fear was realized on the third day with the blast of a great horn and the body of King Under the Mountain was flung past onto the steps in front of the gate. In the darkness a voice declared that he, Azog, had killed Thrór and now ruled Moria as king. Nár was kept from retrieving the body of his friend so he could honorably join his ancestors and was further mocked when the orc chief threw a purse of copper coins and tin bits with the demand that he serve to deliver a message to King Thrór's exiles that they would suffer the same if they challenged him."
"The orcs despoiled his lord's body and fed it to crebain, large black crows of a evil aspect. Nár returned to King Thrór's son, Thráin, in Dunland with the news. Thrain called his kindred to war as such outrages could not be left unanswered. For six long years Durin's Folk battled orcs under and around the Misty Mountains, taking the blood price for Azog's affront in what is now known as the War of the Dwarves and Orcs. The War drew to a conclusion when the orc chief finally took to the field in the Battle of Azanulbizar outside the eastern gates of Moria."
"The dwarves paid a terrible price to claim their revenge with the lives of so many of their kindred including Frerin, the younger brother Thorin "Oakenshield" (and second son of Thráin) and Náin father of the current fifth King under the Mountain, Dáin Ironfoot. So great were the casualties among the dwarves that there were not enough left to bury the dead after the battle . But as terrible as the cost was in blood for the dwarves it was a lake of foul orc blood spilled in return."
"Seeing his army being slaughtered, Azog tried to flee back to the pits of Moria. The orc chief had just felled Náin in his bid to escape. But a stripling at the time, Dáin Ironfoot was in a wrath at seeing his father laid low by the orc's axe but was too far away to prevent the hated enemy's withdraw back into the mountain. As he rushed to catch the coward, Dáin taunted the orc chief as he charged at him with his fateful axe."
Galar pauses a moment as he shakes his head sadly, "Forgive me for I cannot deliver what Dáin said in that decisive moment with the sheer invective and blistering burnished truth of a son who had just seen his father cut down and after long years of war. And would not wish true knowledge of what Dáin felt at that moment on any good-folk. But I will try to convey the unbowed Defiance of that moment given my limited capabilities so it may echo in your hearts like it did off the face of those mountains that day when you are faced with similar (and hopefully) lesser adversity. His taunt is said to have gone thusly-"
"Oi bloated chief, orcish degenerate and damned demon's kith and kin, mealy-mouthed slave of the Base Lord of Treachery himself! What kind of war chief are thou, your inbred and ill-considered blood so thin you quake and flee at the sight of true valor and abandon your misshapen warriors in the field? So lame that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? Trolls shit and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou afterbirth of a misshapen vagina, ever rule any home of Durin's People! We have no fear of misbegotten orcs; above or below we will battle thee. I'd enjoin thee to bury your bawsack in your mother but I see that you already have!"
"Thou midden-headed uruk thief, codswallop scribbler, paramour of goats, piss drinker, catamite of goblins, troll wallop licker, and fool of all the world and underworld. And bampot before your betters, with a face like a slapped ass, you look like a dog licking piss off a nettle! Frog eater, limp cur, slope brow! Invertebrate worm, reveal thy chickenheart and run for all to remember!"
"So I Dáin son of Náin declare, you coward!"
Nearly out of wind from the continuous diatribe and red-faced from the loud prolonged projection, Galar returns to his normal tone and continues his enthusiastic delivery, "So shocked was Azog by Náin's castigation of his foul nature that he stopped his flight, frozen in uncertainty when faced with the truth and allowing the future fifth King under the Mountain to reach him and strike off his lumpy head in a single blow of his axe, thus avenging his father's death and that of King Thrór. The orc war chief's head was left impaled on a spike with the same coin-filled purse he had flung at Nár stuffed in his mouth."
"With the honored dead assembled into a pyre and burned, the War of the Dwarves and Orcs concluded." the Bree-lander ends with a deep bow aimed at any of Durin's folk in the crowd.
OOC
06:46, Today: Galar rolled a total of 29: an extraordinary success (same result if weary) using the The One Ring with a target of 17 with rolls of 7 (Feat Die), 5, 1, 6, 6, 4. Courtesy 1 hope +2 due to distinctive.
This message was last edited by the player at 18:02, Tue 14 Dec 2021.