My name is Tom. I'm a cat. Little girl thought it was funny. I'm not so sure, but I liked her, so I kept it, in her memory.

How'd she die? Nothing special: like most people, she died of old age. Well, not so old, actually, she was only sixty-something, but she had a pretty rough life. I lost touch with her for a few decades, and when I found her she was homeless and didn't recognize me.

But enough talking about her, let's talk about a more interesting topic: me.

Now, I'm sure you know all about supernatural beings and stuff, we're all the rage, as kids say, so you can see that I'm not your average cat. For one, most cats can't speak, let alone write or use a computer. For another, they can't take human shape, and I haven't met many housecats who can spellcast.

They say curiosity killed the cat, but have you seen her around recently?

And you ain't gonna find the body, either, you can bet on that.

So... Be nice to me.

Or else.