One ugly mother hubbard. Tex wasn't hit with the ugly stick so much as beaten near to death with it. He stands over 7 feet tall and is built like a brick shithouse. He's colored like one, too, with patches of reddish-gray all over his hide. His face looks to have been mashed repeatedly with a frying pan, and his gap-toothed yellowed grin never falters, giving people the impression he's a bit retarded.