The Identification

Name: Finn Hasenkamp
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Inspired by: The March Hare
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Occupation: Shop Clerk at The Dog Ears Bookstore and Cafe
Face Claim: Hugh Dancy
Theme: Midnight Thoughts, Nothing Compares 2 U

Physical Description: Finn stands a just a hair's bredth over 6' 2" though his thin and rather lanky features can give him the look of being taller than he is. His eyes are a fair looking light blue with hints of brown speckled throughout and his head is covered a frazzled looking mop of curly light brown hair that matches the thin beard that is kept rather short, giving the impression that he mainly just doesn't shave often as opposed to be any particular styling. He can usually be seen wearing loose clothing that doesn't look particularly well cared for. Most of his clothes are rather threadbare and faded, giving the impression that most of his outfits are old or second hand.

The Emotive

Personality: Finn is a bit of an odd one to put it nicely. He seems unable to sit still most of the time, constantly fidgeting and shifting as if always a little uncomfortable. He has a tendency to ramble when he's nervous or excited but is getting better about reigning himself in at these awkward moments. Because of his odd habits and feeling of discomfort he is a quiet soul that struggles when it comes to forming bonds, often finding just being alone is easier. But being alone all the time isn't nice either and so when he does find someone he thinks of as a friend, as a confidante, he hold onto this tightly.

Once you get behind the outer layers of Finn's protective shell you'll find that he is a very gentle and affectionate man. All he has in this world are his friends and all he wants is to find someone that understands him and his own personal demons and accepts him regardless. Most days he's just happy for the company. Because of his previous experiences he would sometimes prefer the quiet moments, sitting and enjoying hanging out with friends. And it's because he values these friends so much he is willing at times to force himself into uncomfortable and stressful situations. Just so that he isn't alone.

Likes: Reading. Video games. "Unique" music. Caffeine. Sweet and Salty foods. People watching. Collectables.

Dislikes: Being by himself for too long. Handouts. Boastful people. Sour candies.

The Report Card

Special Skills/Abilities:
Finn has always had a keen eye for details and patterns, something a few members of his family would say was wasted on him. A lot of this manifests in the things he learns while people watching. He's managed to pick up some useful skills out of this but so far it's not turned into any real marketable talents, though he hopes to soon change that. He's used what extra finances he's been able to muster to take online courses so he can better himself, though he's not really found a passion. Yet.

Personal Goals/Secrets:
Right now his primary goal is finding himself some stability. He's not been keen on telling people but some might guess from his odd habits and fidgety movements that he has suffered from addiction and substance abuse in the past. Having only recently gotten out of rehab Finn is wanting to put his like back together though he does know that this isn't going to happen overnight. He needs to get a foundation beneath him, an actual job. He needs to avoid temptation. He has relapsed a few times over the last few years and has lost a few jobs because of it. But it has been a while. He's got his sponsor who checks in on him regularly. He just worries that's not always enough.

However, his addiction and substance abuse in the past isn't his biggest secret. Squeak is. Ever since first stint in rehab he's noticed he's not completely alone inside his own head. He's not sure if this is a result of some drug he took or if this is something that was always there just a bit better buried before all of that but ever since he's been on the road to recovery there's been an occasional 'squeak in his ear'. Pushing him to do things he normally wouldn't consider. Making him question things about himself. Making him doubt himself. Most of the time he can ignore it but at times it becomes unbearable. He's been able to quiet this Squeak on a few occasions but unfortunately those usually meant he would fall back on the same drug that go him into this mess in the first place. He doesn't dare tell anyone about this out of worry that it will get back to his family. And they will label him as crazy. But he can't be crazy... right?

Background/History:
In the right circles the Hasenkamp name is an important one. Reinhold and Anika Hasenkamp first knew each other as competitors, both working for different large trading companies before realizing they had the potential to make a better profit as partners instead of rivals. It wasn't long after that the two realized they were growing feelings for one another and eventually they married. They found great success together, guaranteeing financial reliability both for themselves and their children and their children's children. And that's saying something because Reinhold and Anika have a lot of children.

There are eight Hasenkamp children in total, 4 daughters and 4 sons. And over the years most of them have found success on the own right. One is a doctor, another is a lawyer. The second oldest has plans on taking over the family business. One son is the owner of a popular restaurant chain which just opened a new location in Relinquiem. A few have even found a profitable future in more artistic pursuits, one as a designer of expensive sculptures, another a writer for a television series while their second youngest daughter tours as a concert pianist.

And then there's Finn.

After hearing about his family it is easy to understand why Finn felt overshadowed growing up. As the youngest of eight there is almost a full generational gap between him and his oldest sibling. Finn was always a bit of a strange kid. He took interest in some of the things he heard his brothers and sisters talking about, the big dreams they had for their futures. But for Finn it was hard to find a passion to call his own when he was surrounded by people every day that were already so much better at it than him. He wasn't the smartest. Wasn't the most talented. He didn't graduate at the top of his class. He never won any awards. He was just Finn. Weird, strange Finn.

He felt alone a lot as a child. His parents were gone all the time and when they were home they didn't have the energy to give him the same kind of attention they would of given their oldest, mostly to do with the fact that they were already in their mid forties by the time he was born. And his siblings couldn't really be bothered either, they had their own things they wanted out of life and coddling Finn wasn't going to get them what they wanted. And so the youngest son was left to entertain himself most of the time. He created imaginary friends which his father grew furious about when he learned of them. He formed odd habits and mannerisms that his mother tried to correct but all he really learned was not to do them around her.

He went to a private school, the same one his oldest sister had gone to twenty years before him. A lot of the teachers there had high expectations of him when they learned he was a Hasenkamp but were then sorely disappointed. He was never really a disruption in class, and mostly kept to himself when he was able to. His grades were decent at least and he never really suffered from any bullying. He was just that one weird kid that muttered to himself, the one nobody really talked to. And he didn't mind. Or at least he didn't complain.

Making it through High School he continued to college, admittedly not by choice but it's what was expected from him. As he'd told several times, he'd never learn how to properly function in society sitting around like a useless lump all day. Go out into the world, get some experiences. Figure out what you're passionate about and go after it. Don't let anyone or anything stop you. And to Finn's credit he did try, he did look for some career path or profession he could get enthusiastic about but didn't really find anything. He did find someone though. A girl.

Their relationship was... complicated. Mainly because he knew instantly that his family would not approve of her. But he didn't really care, he was infatuated with her. She didn't mind his weirdness, at times it would make her smile. And it made him feel normal for once, like he wasn't just some stranger looking at something from the outside. He was a part of something for once. With her. And he would have followed her anywhere. And oh, the places she led him.

Pills. Powder. Chemicals. Uppers. Downers. She opened up a whole world of possibilities to him that he'd never even heard of outside of the condemnations that his parents would constantly give them. But how could they be so bad? They felt amazing. Sure there were things he would be hesitant about trying but he felt braver with her beside him. He trusted her implicitly. Screw what his family said. Forget their money. Forget their plans. This is what he wanted. This is what him feel happy and whole. With her, he was happy and wouldn't have it any other way.

And then one day, without warning, she was gone.

He spiraled. Or maybe one could call it a nosedive. Suddenly he was alone again. Abandoned. Confused and scared. Had something bad happened to her and he was just to high to notice at the time? Had she decided to leave him? Why no reason behind why she left? There was no note. No message. No voicemail. There was nothing that he could find that could possibly explain why she had left. If she had left against her will, then he was hopeless to find her again. He had no trail to follow, no clues to find. If she had left him of her own accord, hadn't he meant enough to her to at least tell him why? Had he not meant anything to her? He had no clue either way. He may never know. In this sudden turn the drugs became less of a machination for a good time. A gateway to some strange, fun, trippy experience. They became a coping mechanism and a crutch. One that would consume him for quite some time until eventually his family tracked him down.

One night he was shivering from withdrawal under a bridge, trying to shield himself from the horribly cold air around him. The next thing he knew he was in a rehabilitation facility, waking up to see the disapproving gaze of his family. Or at least the family members that had bothered to show up. They never said the words but it was clear that to them he was an embarrassment, a failure. A blemish on the Hasenkamp name. But most of all, that it would be in "everyone's best interest" for them to separate themselves from Finn for a while so that his poor decisions wouldn't drag them through the mud. Thankfully his sister Layla, the musician, didn't feel the same way. Not completely at least. She was there when he got out of rehab. She wasn't around all the time, she lived in another city and was constantly going from place to place to preform but she at least answered his phone calls. Would help calm him down over the phone when he relapsed, encourage him to go back at get himself some help. It was her that helped set him up with a sponsor.

Things are better. Have been getting better. He's still a bit strange. Stranger now if he's honest with himself but he's come to accept these things about himself a bit more, realized that this was just a part of who he was. When you hit rock bottom, the only way is up. It's a bit of a steep climb but the only way out of this hole is up.

Interesting fact about the player: I have a strange weakness to Japanese gummy candies.