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Welcome to Halo Hammer Effect with a pinch of Destiny

14:56, 29th March 2024 (GMT+0)

Halo Hammer Effect with a pinch of Destiny

What are you waiting for?!

What if everything you ever wanted came in a RPG? HammerThirst. Spartan Edition!

With all new flavors like Naplam! Ezoe! And Khorne! You’ve had the bad, now try the rad!...iation.

HammerThirst. Side effects include spawnhood. Use your mutated body to help Japanese schoolgirls. HammerThirst. Anything is possible.

Krogan-blasting, the sport you’ll invent because you’ll be too angry for normal sports. You’ll feel like a battleship made of dinosaurs.

What about me and my blue collar? CREED! Hide that tank behind a bush!

WAAAAGGHHH!

We interrupt this advertisement to RAGE! HammerThirst now comes in Flood! Now with murderous amounts of testosterone. Murtosterone! Think fast stupid git. HammerThirst now comes in missile. Hive-splatting. Similar to Krogan-blasting.

Oh Emperor, why have you forsaken me?

Zog it. When God gives you lemons, Blood for the Blood God! HammerThirst…Gorkberry, King of the games.

Unacceptable. Try HammerThirst and you’ll win at everything forever. You’ll win at shooting, bloodbowl, arson, waffles, and sex! You’ll even win at RAGE! Top score.

Still unconvinced? Well check out these testimonials from real HammerThirst fans.

“over 300,00 confirmed kills!”

“HammerThirst. It’s really WWAAAAaagghhhh!”

Alright! HammerThirst, it’s like warp dust in a can. It’s warp dust in a can. HammerThirst is warp dust. Warning, may contain Keith David.