• This game is under the Fantasy, Comedy & Action/Adventure genres.
  • The game system is Dungeons & Dragons 3.5.
  • This game contains mature content.
The Darkest Deck
Special thanks to Red Hook Studios and Steve Jackson Games - without you this atrocity would be impossible

Ruin has come to our family.

You remember our venerable house, opulent and imperial. Gazing proudly from its stoic perch above the moor, until I told it to quit staring. I lived all my years in that ancient, rumor shadowed manor. Fattened by decadence and luxury.

And yet, I began to tire of conventional extravagance, and certainly not because I was overweight and out of shape from the aforementioned decadence and luxury. Singular, unsettling tales suggested the mansion itself was a gateway to some fabulous and unnamable power...

Until I discovered it actually had a name, and wasn't simply a messed up set of Tarot cards with most of the cards removed. The Deck of Many Things!

With relic and ritual, I bent every effort towards the excavation and recovery of those long buried secrets, exhausting what remained of our family fortune on swarthy workmen and sturdy shovels. Your inheritance, well spent, on making me more wealthy and powerful today. Also, I wanted those booster packs at any cost - I had an addiction to feed.

At last, in the salt-soaked crags beneath the lowest foundations we unearthed that damnable portal of antediluvian evil - a deep pit called the Internet. Our every step unsettled the ancient earth but we were in a realm of death and madness! Image Boards!

In the end, I alone fled laughing and wailing through those blackened arcades of antiquity. Until consciousness failed me. Cursed decadence and luxury!

You remember our venerable house, opulent and imperial. It is a festering abomination! I beg you, return home, claim your birthright, and deliver our family from the ravenous clutching shadows of the Darkest Deck.

Oh, and the Deck of Many Things is sentient and craves chaos. That might be important, or would have been if it were still my problem. It's now your problem, so it's not important to me.